End-of-life care (5)
- Terminal illness: Supporting a terminally ill loved one
- Hospice care: Comforting the terminally ill
- End of life: Caring for a dying loved one
- see all in End-of-life care
- Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss
- Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide
- Infant death: Grief and the path to remembrance
- see all in Grief
End of life: Caring for a dying loved one
Recognizing when death is near
It's difficult to predict exactly when someone will die. As death approaches, however, your loved one may show various signs and symptoms indicating that the end of life is near. Look for:
- Restlessness and agitation. Your loved one may frequently change positions.
- Withdrawal. Your loved one may no longer want to participate in social events or other favorite activities.
- Drowsiness. Your loved one may spend most of his or her time asleep.
- Loss of appetite. Your loved one may eat and drink less than usual.
- Pauses or other changes in breathing. This may happen when your loved one is asleep or awake.
The active phase of dying usually begins several days before death. Although you can't change what's happening to your loved one, you can help him or her feel as comfortable as possible — ideally with the support of palliative or hospice care specialists.
|If your loved one:||Try these comfort measures:|
|Is no longer eating or drinking||Keep your loved one's mouth moist with ice chips or a sponge. Apply lip balm or petroleum jelly to his or her lips.|
|Has labored breathing||Turn your loved one's head to the side. Place pillows beneath your loved one's head, or try different sitting positions. Ice chips, oxygen and a cool-mist humidifier also may help. Ask your loved one's doctor about medications to ease breathing or to relieve feelings of breathlessness.|
|Has incontinence||Use incontinence pads or a catheter to keep your loved one dry and clean.|
|Has blurred vision||Use soft lighting.|
|Can't speak||Talk to your loved one in a soothing voice. Hold his or her hand.|
|Is agitated or confused||Be calm and reassuring. Create a quiet and peaceful atmosphere. Limit the number of people in the room, and repeat their names often.|
|Seems to be in pain||Ask the medical team to adjust your loved one's medication or treatment plan.|
Your loved one also may experience a brief, final surge of energy. Though it can be confusing to see your loved one with renewed vitality, remember that this is a normal part of dying. If it happens, take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy your loved one and say your final goodbyes.
For many families, keeping vigil near a dying loved one's bed is a way to show support and love. If you decide to keep vigil, continue talking to your loved one. If you think your loved one would want to share this time with others, invite family members or close friends to show their support as well. Express your love, but also let your loved one know that it's all right to let go.Previous page
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- End-of-life care: Questions and answers. National Cancer Institute. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Support/end-of-life-care. Accessed Oct. 4, 2010.
- Last days of life: Overview. National Cancer Institute. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/lasthours/patient. Accessed Oct. 4, 2010.
- Last days of life: Care in the final hours. National Cancer Institute. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/lasthours/Patient/page4. Accessed Oct. 4, 2010.
- End-of-life choices: Holding on and letting go. Family Caregiver Alliance. http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=400. Accessed Oct. 4, 2010.
- Preparation at the end of life. American Society of Clinical Oncology. http://www.cancer.net/patient/Coping/End-of-Life+Care/Preparation+at+the+End+of+Life. Accessed Oct. 4, 2010.
- Moneymaker KA. Understanding the dying process: Transition during final days to hours. Journal of Palliative Medicine. 2005;8:1079.