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Coping and support
By Mayo Clinic staffNo one expects to have a baby with a birth defect. When the excitement of new life is met with the stress of discovering that your baby has a cleft lip or cleft palate, the experience can be emotionally demanding for the entire family.
For the parents and family
When welcoming a baby with cleft lip and cleft palate into your family, keep these coping tips in mind:
- Don't blame yourself. There's probably nothing you could have done differently to prevent the defect.
- Acknowledge your emotions. It's completely normal to feel sad, overwhelmed and upset.
- Find support. Your hospital social worker can help you find community and financial resources and education.
For the child
You can support your child in many ways:
- Focus on your child as a person, not on his or her cleft.
- Point out positive attributes in others that don't involve physical appearance.
- Help your child gain confidence by allowing him or her to make decisions.
- Encourage confident body language, such as smiling and holding his or her head up and shoulders back.
- Keep the lines of communication open. If teasing or self-esteem issues arise at school, be sure your child feels safe talking with you about it.
- Cleft lip and cleft palate. March of Dimes. http://www.marchofdimes.com/printableArticles/14332_1210.asp. Accessed April 5, 2009.
- Moreau JL, et al. Tissue engineering solutions for cleft palates. Journal of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery. 2007;65:2503.
- Cleft lip and palate repair. American Society of Plastic Surgeons. www1.plasticsurgery.org/ebusiness4/ProductCatalog/pdf/brochures/Cleft_Lip.pdf. Accessed April 5, 2010.
- Mossey PA, et al. Cleft lip and palate. The Lancet. 2009;374:1773.
- Hoffman WY. Cleft Lip & Palate. In: Lalwani AK. Current Diagnosis & Treatment in Otolaryngology — Head & Neck Surgery. 2nd ed. New York, N.Y.: McGraw-Hill; 2008. http://www.accessmedicine.com/content.aspx?aID=2826340&searchStr=cleft+lip#2826340. Accessed April 5, 2010.
- Craniofacial abnormalities. The Merck Manuals: The Merck Manual for Healthcare Professionals. http://www.merck.com/mmpe/print/see19/ch288/ch288d.html. Accessed April 5, 2010.
- Burns JL. Plastic surgery (cleft lip and palate). In: Townsend CM Jr, et al. Sabiston Textbook of Surgery. 18th ed. Philadelphia, Pa.: Saunders Elsevier; 2008. http://www.mdconsult.com/das/book/body/1932697333/978681486/1565/708.html#4-u1.0-B978-1-4160-3675-3..50077-0--cesec9_4303. Accessed April 5, 2010.
- Wilkins-Haug L. Prenatal diagnosis of orofacial clefts. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed April 5, 2010.
- Stothard KJ, et al. Maternal overweight and obesity and the risk of congenital anomalies: A systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA. 2009;301:636.
- The school years: An introduction to psychology. Cleft Lip & Palate Association. http://www.clapa.com/news/article/901/. Accessed April 9, 2010.
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