Alzheimer's disease

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• December 6, 2010 11:41 p.m.

  Will someone please tell me where to begin. I have an elderly mother 88yrs. I've been caring for. She is diabetic and severe arthritis of the knees. Now her sister who is 90yrs and has Alzheimers has recently moved in after the death of her husband. I have chronic severe depression and on disability due to a back injury. Someone please help.

  - Judy

• December 6, 2010 8:36 p.m.

  3 weeks ago during the graduation ceremonies of our grandson from Marine Boot Camp, we got a call from my sister-in-law who was staying with my husband's Mom. She said Mom was calling her Mildred and insisted she was not her daughter. We said she had been doing some weird things lately and we thought she had some kind of dementia or had some small strokes. The Monday after we arrived back home I took her to the doctor, and Internist that specializes in geriatric care gave me the diagnosis of moderate to severe Alzheimer's disease. We got her on 2 types of pills AM and PM and in the last week she has digressed drastically, so that we are now monitoring her meds and she is never left alone as she becomes agitated and anxious. Has anyone had the disease progress very fast. 3 weeks ago she was able to care for herself during daylight hours and now she is wandering at night, not sleeping, unable to handle her meds and cannot be left alone at all. I am her daughter-in-law. We live together thankfully. I am her primary caregiver and she seems to defer all decisions to me. My husband, her son, can do no right. He gets blamed for everything that she perceives as being wrong. Is that because he has always been closest to her of her children. Has anyone had this experience. Thanks for listening. Melani

  - Melani

• December 1, 2010 4:43 p.m.

  I am 80 years old, and am still working full time in family business. I believe that I am addicted to only one thing...and that is exercise. I try to walk or hike nearly every day. My wife of 60 years passed away last February. She showed some early signs of alzheimers, and her mother was in a nursing facility for 11 years. My wife's death has been very emotional for me, but I am determined to stay in shape. I will always do my best to be fit, and it is my belief that keeing your weght down and staying very active is the best way to delay or stop alzheimers. Do not sit around and watch TV. Get up and keep moving!

  - Robert

• November 25, 2010 11:33 p.m.

  Alzheimers is a devastating disease. People usually forget that its almost as hard for the patient than it is for the patients family and friends. Alzheimer patients are affected socially more often than not. They know that something is wrong and usually don't speak as much because of it. The best thing to do is consistently talk to them. Contact is the best way to help alzheimer patients. Playing games...scrabble...or simply talking to them. I have also recently found a website called www.alztea.com. They claim to be selling Alzheimer's tea. It may not be true, but anything is worth a try. Hopefully this helps. Thanks for listening.

  - Jonathan

• November 23, 2010 11:19 a.m.

  You can access Centerna Health here: http://www.centerna.com/

  - Connie

• November 23, 2010 11:17 a.m.

  Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease can be so difficult. In our situation, it really helps that we found a trusted resource for support. Our family watches over my mother as much as we can, but there are times when we need help and Centerna Health is always there for us. They'll send a caregiver over on late notice, even for just a few hours. This flexibility really helps our family save some money and time when we can't watch over her ourselves. I recommend building a relationship with an organization like Centerna to help provide care for your family member.

  - Connie

• November 22, 2010 7:14 p.m.

  I am a caregiver for two elderly people. The wife has Alzheimer's and the man is so strong they are both 90 years old they are exactly one month apart in their birthdays. The reason I am posting a comment is because I am not sure how to stop my lady from biting her nails and sucking on her fingers and she always tells me that she is not doing this. Her fingers are totally raw. I feel so bad for her. They are wonderful. If there is any way to help to get her to not do this to herself I hope that someone could please let me know what they are doing in this experience of probably the ending stages of Alzheimer's. This is just such a cruel disease because they can live for a very long time.

  - Mary

• November 21, 2010 8:15 p.m.

  Note to Jo Ann - My dad died in July of 2010 at the age of 89. Besides dealing with the grief and loss of his passing, I was shocked when I called my mom a week later(I live out of town and spent a week and a half with her) and she didn't remember going to the memorial service nor my visit. She thought we had the service without her. I tried to remain calm and talk her through some of the events until she calmed down. But it broke my heart that she couldn't remember and she was so upset with herself for not remembering. After getting off of the phone, I called her nurse to ask how I might better help Mom. She suggested bringing over pictures, using a calendar in her apartment and writing down each time an event takes place or people who visit. We've also since given her memory picture album of she and Dad and momentos from the service to surround her with. It's very hard at times but we do know she looks at the pictures and reads the captions and words. She forgets so much these days, but she's still Mom and she knows we care. My deep condolences to you and your family.

  - Karen

• November 17, 2010 10:41 p.m.

  My Dad died 5 weeks ago at the age of 84. His passing was kind soft and he was so ready to move on. When he left us he also took my 78 year old moms memory with him. She so struggled with his death ,it took over 4 week before she could remember that he had passed. When she would remember she would relive his death every time. You see she would ask us where he was and each time we had to tell her he is gone. The pain in her eyes is so heart breaking.She would get mad at us because know one told her that Dad had died. We found a few ideas that helped her come to terms with and find some way for her to remember. We are still struggling with her and the time line of our beloved Dads death . We always new Mom had advanced dementia but, when we lost Dad we never dreamed it was as bad as it was...

  - Jo ann

• November 15, 2010 9:28 a.m.

  I am caring fro my elderly dad who has mid stage Alz. One of the most important things for me has been knowing what to expect. Once I'd learnt a lot about the diesase and the stages and what happens at each stage, life became a whole lot less stressful. It is a struggle every day, as it really is the 'family disease' as it affects all of us. A colleague put me onto a wonderful resource, a free bonus book all about Alzheimer's and Dr Lamont, the author, guided us through the stage and what we could expect. She gives a lot of practical information and tips to help keep Dads mind as sharp as possible for as long as possible. We make sure he eats very well, lots of omega 3 etc, all the good brain food, does brain exercises each day, like the crossword in the morning paper, and gets some fresh air and walking in most days. Hopefully this could help your followers too. Seven Second Memory ebook

  - Iona Askew

• November 11, 2010 7:29 p.m.

  A note to Jackie....... Your friend needs to locate someone close to her that has business experience to help her and her husband through this difficult time. The disease will erode her husbands ability to make rational decisions in the business and in their personal finances. Part of her accepting the reality of his disease is to become assertive and to seek help from a friend, accountant and lawyer. The sooner the better. All of her family's personal affairs need to be attended to while her husband is still able to sign his name and has some ability to reason. Powers of attorney must be in place because the day will come when he will not be able to act. It will be a difficult emotional time but for her future and that of her two teenage boys, it must be done. My wife had early onset and it was less than two years before she was unable to sign her name. Do it now!

  - Donald

• November 8, 2010 5:41 p.m.

  I need some advice. My best friend is 45. She married a man 15 years older who owns his own business and has been diagnosed with early onset. His mother had the disease. Her husband is having difficulty coping with the diagnosis and has not created a long term plan for the company / family. They have two teenage boys and will have little income if he "retires". My friend is depressed and not coping well herself. All she can see is a bleak future. How can I help? How long before he is not able to work at all....he is not really functioning now. any advice is appreciated.

  - Jackie

• November 4, 2010 8:10 p.m.

  My husband is in the mild/moderate stage of Alzheimer's. One thing that helped me adjust to the diagnosis was that it could have been cancer. That helped me somehow. Now he's also been diagnosed with bladder cancer. He will probably need his bladder removed as it has spread further, but I don't know how he could handle that. I'd hate to have to make the decision whether or not to do that. Has anyone else had to face anything like this?

  - Ellie

• October 26, 2010 12:28 p.m.

  I’ve now watched both grandmothers’ succumb to this terrible disease. Thank you to the Mayo Clinic for setting up this feature. The more people that can make connections and share experiences on how to cope and manage the better. This is one of the reasons I work to support new advances in Alzheimer’s research. http://www.alzinfo.org/blogs

  - Betsey

• October 25, 2010 8:13 a.m.

  As a carer of two elderly parents both with varying degrees of Alzheimer's, it is truly wonderful to read all these comments and diswcover how may others are struggling on as well. A friend directed me to a really great free bonus book which helped to guide us through what to expect in dealang with this disease. It really helped us, and prepared us for what to expect. Free bonus book about dealing with Alzheimer's

  - Iona

• October 19, 2010 6:52 p.m.

  this is a response to donna re her mom blanking out for an hour or so. my husband blanks out for a day or so by sleeping and unable to arouse him. he may then stay awake for up to a day trying to meander around the house. i know, from caring for alz pts' when working as a nurse that these things can happen. i know from counseling family members, but it all goes away when it is your famiy. we've been married 43 yrs and it hurts when he turns on me. i get angry with him and then angry with myself for getting angry with him. when he does talk with me it is usually nonsensical, but i go to where he is and try to keep him calm by telling him it is under control and i have taken care of the issue. he dosen't remember the conversation 15 min later. if i didn't have my family here i think i would lose my mind by not having anyone to have a conversation with. what do others of you do? do you feel guilty? the worse time is right before dawn when everyone in the house is asleep and i have been so stressed i can't sleep and i look at him and see the loss he has. i pray that when he is "away" in his mind he is in a happy place. the times he has moments of cognition he'll tell me he's sorry for doing this to me and that hurts most of all. sometimes i cry when i know no one is going to catch me and sometimes i won't cry because i am afraid i won't be able to stop. -donna w

  - donna

• October 19, 2010 12:18 p.m.

  My husband has mod to severe dementia. We are in our early 60s and it seems that life is over. My husband is unable to participate in activities that require interaction with others. He can go from the sweet and loving husband father and grandfather to being physically and verbally abusive. He was a firefighter and I (ironically) a RN specializing in geriatrics and rehab. I have had to retire due to both knees affected with degenerate arthritis that impairs my ability to walk. I need both knees replaced but am hesitent to move ahead because of how my husband will react. He needs frequent redirection. He doesn't sleep very often and has wandered the house turning on the stove in the middle of the night. We are unable to manage on our own and now live with my daughter and her famiy. I don't think it is fair for my grandchildren, ages 16, 13, and 10, to have to grow up with this in their lives on a daily basis. The only time we leave the house is for drs' appointments and that is an ordeal. To compound matters he developed guillian-barre in 2003 that has left him with balance problems so he falls frequently. As with Teresa we did not expect to be spending this time wondering if our family secretly resents the problem we have become. As in most families one chiild out of 4 is able or willing to take us on. In this case it is our youngest daughter who is the middle of the sandwich generation. She and her family are truely unsung heros. - Donna

  - donna

• October 9, 2010 7:38 a.m.

  My husband has been diagnosed with EOA. He has been an active pastor of a church for over 30 years and now sits in front of the TV all day. He can't mingle with others comfortably like he used to do. I get frustrated in trying to get him out of the house. We live in a very small town with people who already judge us as being outsiders and we feel like we can't tell anyone in town for fear of worse judgement. At 60 years old that is pretty awful. We wanted to retire and have fun traveling. That dream went out the window.

  - Teresa

• October 5, 2010 9:37 p.m.

  I am deeply touched by all of these comments and I'd like to quote Dr. Butler who wrote in his book on aging: “Few diseases have had as great a social, economic, and personal impact as Alzheimer’s, the most common form of dementia. Destroying the mind, devastating the family, and making considerable demands upon the health- and social-care systems, it also robs society of important contributors.” Rovshan M Ismailov, MD MPH PhD "New Insights into the Mechanisms of Alzheimer's Disease: A Multidisciplinary Approach" Amazon Kindle Book www.theageing.com

  - Rovshan

• October 4, 2010 12:56 a.m.

  My dear wife is in her eleventh year of suffering Alzheimer's disease. For the last year she has been in a care facility and is in the late stage and on hospice. We gave up on all medication a few months ago and actually she has been more responsive. She has recently become as stiff as a board and must be dead lifted on most days. It amazes me that on some days she will stand and even walk some. Don't know how much time she has remaining but she has been a real trooper through all of this. I admire all the caregivers that I have met who give so much of their lives out of love for our spouses, siblings or parents. You are showing God's love to each one.

  - Donald

• October 2, 2010 9:59 a.m.

  Recently moved our mother to a memory care unit at a local care center from an assisted care facility. She had been in Assist Living for a little over a year when she had a mild heart attack. Since leaving the hospital her Alzheimer's seems to have gotten worse. She has ups and downs with more downs lately. Keep thinking and praying she will improve somewhat but not seeing it.

  - Allan

• September 27, 2010 4:14 p.m.

  has anyone every had this happen before?? My mom is in her last stage of alz. and today all of the sudden she just stopped trying to talk or eat or drink anything and just went into a blank stare and was totaly limp. It lasted a good hour then she just looked at me and i asked her if she wanted some water and she was back to normal (so to speak)

  - donna

• September 20, 2010 5:10 p.m.

  My family (both sides) have a propensity for the big "A". Since I live in a small town and keep up with my genealogy, I have observed that after about 60 years of age any family member on my father's side of the family who has general asthesia, develops Alzheimer's within a year. I called it the Herndon gene syndrome. More of my father's distant relatives living locally than on my mother's side but she and her mother developed Alzheimer's after undergoing general anesthesia. I suffer the pain rather then risk a battle with the big "A".

  - Donald

• September 16, 2010 10:46 p.m.

  To those recently diagnosed, check Alzheimer's Association website. Read stages of disease progression but remember everyone is different, so it can vary. Read book,"The 36 Hour Day". Stay safe/healthy: Eat nutritious food. Exercise-from our experience, I'd say to especially focus on maintaining leg strength & balance to prevent falls. Choose your doctor wisely. Ask about drugs & vitamins that aid in fighting this disease. Attend to medical/dental issues. Take your meds as directed. Determine a "support network" - family/friends you trust that are willing/able to assist. My dad, age 88, had symptoms abt 15 years. He's now late stage, but was able to live at home until 4 months ago due to aid from his kids & a part-time caregiver. Plan ahead. Gather important papers & let your family know their location:financial documents, life insurance policies, birth certificate, will, military records, cemetery plots, deeds. Set up payments for regular bills by bank draft. Make home repairs, clear clutter, consider items like a walk-in shower, grab bars, stair rails. Consider moves carefully -living in the same house in the same small town for 50 years really helped my dad in staying oriented when his short term memories faded. Plan ahead for long-term care & how you'll pay for it. Check local facilites & ask others about their experiences there; pay less attention to appearance & more to how the patients look & are treated. God bless &a

  - Jane

• September 8, 2010 1:17 p.m.

  My Mom was diagnosed with alzheimers two years ago but looking back I know she has had it longer than that.She lives with my sister 300 miles away and I feel so bad because there is not much I can do being so far away. I bought the. book 36 hour day that was suggested by one of the nurses. I used to be able to hold a conversation with her but now she has a vacant look and I am not sure if she know that it is me when I call. She gets up during the night and wanders, says she wants to go home, takes everything out of her drawers and packs clothes in bags. My sister has a care-taker during the day b/c she can't be left alone. It is getting worse and I don't think there is anything I can do....when I get off the phone with her I just cry. Thanks for listening, Susan

  - Susan