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• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• November 19, 2009 11:50 p.m.

  Everyone needs to download a copy of Coach Broyles Playbook for Alzheimer's Caregivers, it will help you cope and it's free! http://www.alzheimersplaybook.com/

  - Connie

• November 4, 2009 3:39 p.m.

  I am frustrated by the lack of importance physicians, particularly neurologists give to family anecdotal evidence. My mother has seen a team at Mayo for the past two years to address a possibly unrelated (who knows?) neuro issue. We keep bringing up her memory and judgement issues, and they keep telling us it's "normal aging", since the MRI and spinal tap appear normal for her age. Maybe they'd like to spend 24 hours with her and explain over and over that it is not New Years Day, New Years is in the winter and it's 80 degrees outside. Or explain to her how to get dressed, underwear first instead of on the outside of her pants. We need them to stop looking at the test results and LISTEN TO US! In my mom's case, none of these doctors had ever met her until after the dementia started, so they don't know who she was. Everytime we try to explain what she's lost, they nod their heads and say that's normal. Help!!!

  - Kristine

• November 1, 2009 5:30 p.m.

  Hello Angela and readers: How do you cope? You feel guilty because you wish you could do more and understand more. It's very difficult to have a mother, or any loved one, in a secure, safe facility, yet they are being taking care of by overworked and underpaid Hisanic men and women. generally, I've found these folks to be kind, generous, thankful, and with the patience of Job. The family members can come and go as they please, yet the workers must deal with the feeding, bathing, cleaning, and the anguish of the death of these people they have come to know. I am new to the situation since this year my Mom went into a facility. I am not the same person I was last year. I rpray for these workers as often as I pray for my Mom, and I hope that the good Lord holds a special place in heaven for them. The whole system is a mess, dealing with the bureaucracy, the insurance companies, and then you see the position your loved one is in. How do I deal with it, count your blessings, it can always get worse and when dealing with Alzheimer's or dementia, it WILL get worse.

  - jake

• October 30, 2009 8:10 a.m.

  I'm 67 years old. I was diagnosed with early stage AZ in August. "Very early" was the phrase my physician used. I have been on Aricept since then, and recently she recommended Namenda. I am also taking an anti-depression med and vitamins. This seems to have made an immediate difference. My mood is greatly improved and I am planning various projects to keep myself busy, including journalism, pottery, and boat building. We have sold our current home and are planning to move to a condo. It is difficult to know how to plan ahead. I am functioning at a near normal level, probably above normal for many. But I don't know how long this will last. My physician said it could be 5, 10 or 30 years. I'm going to the U of M next week to seek clinical trials, etc.

  - John

• October 29, 2009 8:50 p.m.

  Two of my brothers have passed away. The last one, in August of '08. Since then my Mom, age 76 has shown signs of Alzheimers. It hurts so much to watch this happen to her. She refuses to accept that she is changing. Sometimes she gets SOO MAD about things that should not bother her at all (like getting her hair cut..she wants to let it grow long, or when we discussed putting satellite in. She got really mad about it). I mentioned the changes to her doctor, but he doesn't offer any help. I see the changes almost every day. I don't know what to do. She is more forgetful, has trouble with reasoning, doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything and doesn't want to keep herself clean at times. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can help her? I work full time, but I live close to her and see her everyday.

  - Dianne

• October 26, 2009 8:58 p.m.

  mom getting more involved. still lives at home. brother and his wife live next door in duplex. mom's house wired visully and auditorily so brother can monitor her. i am 2 hours away and get up on weekends. mom having major meltdowns. screaming in a hotel at a family wedding. mom also had microscopic colitis so any drug that causes diahreea (sp?) is out. is there a medication that can be taken prn when these meltdowns occur? she is sensitive to these drusg as we learned when she fell and needed a month in rehab at a nursing homm. found her tied to a wheel chair and so drugged she couldn't talk. HELP?

  - beth

• October 24, 2009 9:53 p.m.

  My husband is on Razadyne but, I haven't been told that he has Alzheimer's/dementia/vascular disease..nothing. Yet, I'm left to cope w/ VERY Alzheimer-like behaviors which are increasing & he's becoming aggressive, losing his temper abt. the oddest things, unpredictably. I don't know if he's w/holding info. or the doctor is. How do I get the truth? I need to start making plans. (I already hid his gun, which he demands from me abt. every other month!)

  - Angela

• October 12, 2009 1:07 p.m.

  We, my husband and I moved in with my grandparents. We planned to stay for one year to save money and help our grandmother. It has been fourteen years now. We never left. My grandfather (diagnosed w/ altzheimers) died six months after we moved in. We helped to arrange caregivers until his sleeplessness and an infection sent him to a nursing facility, where he died of complications unrelated to altzheimers. My grandmother has developed dementia in the last five years. She has not been easy. Often confused, does the same thing with clothing as one of the blog writers, often denying they belong to her. It used to upset me, but now, we just pretend that someone lovely has left her some surprises in the closet. I have learned in these fourteen years, that if you are tired or upset yourself, to walk away, take a walk, watch tv, call a friend, cook something, take a break. My husband says, "step away from the grandmother"...very important. You are human. You need time for yourself, your spouse, your children and friends...Even if I am disturbed, I have learned that if I smile and approach a hard situation with a smile, it often will change her attitude. Sometimes I will sing an old tune that she knows (off key I admit), I will ask her about an old friend long ago...these things help.

  - Sharon

• October 6, 2009 5:23 p.m.

  What shall I do with my mother of 72, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer 1 or 2 years ago? She still denies she has Alzheimer and she thinks we don´t know it. However there are many issues of the daily life to deal with, but as long as she doesn´t talk openly about it and doesn´t admit to us that she is ill, it´s very difficult to act in a nice way for her. It´s becoming so heavy for my Father, myself and my daughters...

  - No name given

• October 6, 2009 3:50 p.m.

  My name is Larry and I am a Certified MnemeTherapist (pronounced "nehma"). I would like to introduce the state of Minnesota to a cutting edge whole-brained therapy called MnemeTherapy. MnemeTherapy uses everyday pleasures such as movement, singing, painting, story telling and praise to initiate neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to repair itself) in people suffering from Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia, Autism, Huntington's, Lewy Body disease, Parkinson's, Developmentally Disabled Individuals of all ages and stroke recovery patients. It is NOT art therapy which is a psychological process and requires special licensing. We have experienced amazing results with many clients after just one session of the therapy. Some of the individuals we have worked with have begun to speak again after not speaking for years. One stroke victim suffering from inverted vision had his vision right itself halfway through his first session. I am located in Coon Rapids, MN (just north of Minneapolis) and just opened a chapter called The Greater Twin Cities Chapter of Art Without Boundaries. Please visit my website at: www.ArtWithoutBoundaries.net/LH.html to learn more.

  - Larry

• September 23, 2009 9:10 p.m.

  Why is it that in the list of diseases on the mayo clinic site there is only one for Alzhiemers' and so many other categories for other (more treatable by "big pharma") maladies??? Alzhiemers' is HUGE and it is untreatable and thus not of particular interest to medical practitioners. It needs to be researched and funded NOW before it lands the next generation in "homes" for half of their adult lives, warehoused as cattle, waiting to die.

  - susan

• September 19, 2009 10:20 p.m.

  My ex-husband lives with a brain tumor from agent orange in Viet Nam. He has had two surgeries and is blind in one eye. He is in the VA hospital now after a stroke which did not involve his motor skills. He has seizures several of which happened while driving his truck or motorcycle. The tumor is the size of a baseball pushing on the frontal lobe. Surgery is not an option right now as they fear he may go blind in the other eye as it is too close to the optic nerve. He is on meds now to help even out the personality changes he experiences and is a flight risk as he wants to get back out on the road! The VA doctors have deemed him incompetant and say he has dementia but contend that it is not caused from the tumor. His sister, daughter, and I agree that a tumor of this type and in this area must be a signifigant reason for the dementia. He will be moved to a lock-down facility but will be responsible for his own payment as he is too high functioning and the VA will only take care of it if he is in the last stage dementia and can't do anything for himself.

  - Pat

• September 8, 2009 8:56 a.m.

  My grandmother is 95 and was diagnosed with demetia a couple of years ago. She has a lot of trouble remembering from one minute to the next but still recognizes me when I go to visit or when I call on the phone. My aunt moved into her house to take care of her and hired someone to watch over Grandma during the day time hours. It's so hard to watch what dementia does to our loved ones. I know that my aunt doesn't have any patience with her and I sometimes feel like my grandma would be better off at my house with me and my family. I also know that this would put a huge burden on myself, my husband and my kids. I would like to know if any of you have been in this situation and what you did. I just don't want to feel like I am abandoning her. I love her so much. I lost my other grandma earlier this year because of heart failure. It's a lot to take in.

  - Erika

• September 1, 2009 6:47 p.m.

  This is to Lee with the 50 yr old husband. You need to check out Frontotemporal dementia. It's a rare disorder with some of the symtoms you are describing. I was at a neurosychologist to day with a friend that has it. and she describes the wasting of money and spending you are describing along with the symtoms you'll find when you research this on the mayo clinic web site. good luck Becky hkHdga

  - Becky

• August 31, 2009 1:25 p.m.

  My question is what to do if they won"t eat dress or talk, and you cannot move them. They just want to stay in bed?

  - Renee

• August 14, 2009 8:37 p.m.

  Hi, I am a new caregiver for my 87 year old mom. Last Christmas , she started exhibiting signs of confusion with her clothes. She thought her clothing was not her own, and that the cna was taking clothes from her closet and replacing them with shabby ones, and different sized clothing. Then she began having visual hallucinations, and what I observed to have been vivid dreaming. She can actually talk with her eyes closed get out of bed and see people that aren't there, but then realizes they are gone, and not really there.We call it just a dream It seems she is doing sooo much better at my home. My sister has to work, and I stay at home so it is better for me to care for her since she tried leaving my sisters house one night in her pj's at 1:00 am to catch the trolley to go home she said. So far she has been much better here I have my moments of brain overload and worry for my mother since she is still sharp about lots of things. Her father had dementia. I wonder if she has picks disease and or lewys Parkinson 9 We never had a definate diagnosis All her doc did was throw her a sample of aricept using no scanning until we asked. Her thyroid recently was low so now she is on synthroid and she also had an undiagnosed uti until I asked for a urine culture So we do not know if this is metabolic if the aricept will help her if this is not alziehmers? I need to follow up with a neuro doc for her. If anyone out there has had a similar experience or any info I would appreciate it.

  - Pat

• August 13, 2009 3:49 p.m.

  Hi, I am new to this site and I need to share my concerns with anyone who may be dealing with a similar situation. My husband just turned 50. He had a severe accident and was hit by a drunk driver while on his motorcyle. Now that we downsized the business in the last 5 years I am noticing an increase in his forgetfulness just in the last year. He has a blank stare on his face sometimes that has been for the last 5-6 years. He is irritable, hurtful in his comments and lacks compassion emotion and empathy. He explodes verbally , walks away when I'm speaking, refuses to help with disciplining the children most of the time. For the last 5 or so years if he doesn't want to do a chore he will procrastinate and then it doesn't get done. If I can do the job like clean the gutters or anything that he used to do I just do. I'll get my son to help or do it if it is something I know he is capable of. He is on BP meds. Atenolol since he was 22. I've sent for info for TBI (Brain Inj.) and have done a lot of reading on adult ADD because of his symptoms. He says it is me, I am the cause. He is not checking messages for the business, he is buying machines tool boxes $1000. to $1500( his most recent purchase for his hobbies) customers need his services he doesn't go sometimes. If I remind him of something he has to do or forgot to do usually he'll show he is annoyed. This is so hard for me to deal with this. He also has lack of judgement. HE is refusing the Dr. or Vet. Hosp

  - Lee

• August 11, 2009 4:07 p.m.

  My Dad who has long since passed, and that was about 30 yrs. ago, was said to have dementia. His memory became very bad to the point where he didn't recognized who his loved ones were and thought they were other people. An example of this, is where his wife, my mother, was labeled by him 'the matron' at the local jail house! He had been a police officer for 47 yrs. He would also ball his fist and shake it at my mother, who was his caregiver. We had him placed in a nursing home and he repeated the same behavior shaking his fists at the nurses there. We had to take him out of the home as he was becoming too threatening to the staff. He had been restrained in a wheelchair, however, he somehow was able to unfasten the restraints! We brought him home and he was sedated with tranquillizers to keep him calm and immobile neutralizing his tendancy to be violent. That seemed to work for a while but make him a virtual vegetable. We had a medical attendant come to the house to bath him in the shower as he was a large man and my mother could not lift him. Eventually, about several years after bringing him home from the nursing facility, he died in the hospital of prostrate cancer. It was a long sad journey for Dad and his loved ones who stood beside him watching his deterioration. Rest in peace Dad.

  - Pat

• August 9, 2009 8:33 p.m.

  What can you do to keep your love one with alzheimer's from making a fist and not open her hands so you can trim her finger nails? Thanks..

  - James

• August 5, 2009 11:06 a.m.

  Reading Ellen's comments and can relate. My mother is 90 and was diagnosed with Alz over a year ago but she had been doing strange things long before. She is definitely paranoid and lives in an asst. living facility. She accuses the staff of stealing her clothes, hair spray, jewelry, makeup -- whatever. She refuses to let anyone in to clean her room which is pretty clean regardless. She is so angry with me all the time that I called Alz Assn. to ask if this is common and they said it is. I can't do anything right for her. I buy her what she asks for and then she tells me it is the wrong thing or to take it back. She has beautiful clothes to wear and hides them and locks them in her dresser. I had to get her a piece of chain and a padlock so she could lock her closet so "they" can't steal from her. Then it was "They are picking the lock." So I got her a combination lock the other day. I am sure she will forget the numbers or she will tell me they have found out the combination. She told me she dreamed about her niece and she was sure she had died because of that dream. Not true at all. There is no logic or reasoning. She is on the Exelon patch and I don't know if it has helped her or not. She was put on it immediately when diagnosed so perhaps she would be worse than she is if she weren't on it. It is so hard to wrap my mind around it as she looks great for 90. She is eating three meals a day and getting her meds and she is doing better

  - Joyce

• July 29, 2009 11:58 a.m.

  I've been doing research for about a year now. My Mom will be 80 in a month and I've been observing changes for the last 3 years or more. This last year has been the most challenging. My biggest concern is of course her happiness and safety & my biggest roadblock has been a loack of a firm diagnoisis! MRA, MRI and vascular ultrasounds found only a minimal loss of bloodflow to the brain yet Mom continues to be more confused then the day before. Meds for BP & cholestorel have been increased. She is really mean and veery angry. Also accusing her helpful neighbor of leaving her door open or fridge open when she's checking on Mom's house while she's out of town. Gremlins continuously steal things from her and someone came in in the middle of the night and put the cover over her. We all know that someting is terribly wrong, but how to i get her to move to a safe environment when the Doctor can't give us a diagnosis? Is anyone else in this situation?

  - Ellen

• July 23, 2009 10:27 a.m.

  terri, The depressive symptoms occurred after the BP medication. My husband was 57 when he began the BP meds...full of life and happiest when he was busiest. The change in him was so obvious to everyone, it was frightening. There was this glassy, blank look in his eyes. I never associated it to the BP meds. I have found too much information on not just BP meds, but cholesterol medications as well that are affecting the brain. Here's my point, if Doctors acknowledge that BP meds can and do "in some patients" cause depression...what else are they doing to the brain? We wonder why there is an epidemic of ALZ, (and other forms of dementia) I wonder how many of those people are on either BP meds, cholesterol meds, etc. There is a book written by a Doctor/Astronaut called "Thief of Memory". It's too interesting to ignore yet Drs disagree. When I spoke to our Primary Care Physician about my husbands depression and that I thought the BP med caused it...he said...no way...when I told him two Neurologists confirmed that it does...he still said...no way and totally disagreed with them. I tell you I don't know what Doctors to believe. I live in a City with the best medical care options and still don't know what to believe when you get various Drs opinions. And, I meant to say my husband has been off the anti depressants now for 6 months and showing no reoccuring symptoms of depression. He's been off the BP meds since Sept 08. So far...so good, no decl

  - bella

• July 23, 2009 8:47 a.m.

  Pam - your story of the person your 82 mom has turned into hit a nerve - my mom is also 82. Dad died 3 years ago and although he shared some concerns about mom with me, always protected my brother from the truth. Mom lives on her own in a large family home and has many times told us that she wants to die there. My brother feels he should respect her wishes, but in the past 3 years while I have been her primary caregiver (although not living with her ) she has steadily deteriorated mentally - hallucinating (first her mom and grandmother and my dad, now strangers who threaten her and force her to hide her belongings). I had a meltdown about a month ago and insisted my brother take on a share of the care. This week, after entering a neighbour's home to get away from hallucinated attackers, she's been admitted to hospital for tests and a possible diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia. Bottom line, though, is that she is often not my mother - she's a vindictive, angry, demanding woman who when she returns to being lucid still thinks I'm being mean to her because I want her in a safer place. It's incredibly hard day-to-day and my only suggestion to you, beyond knowing that there are many of us out here feeling sad, angry and frustrated too, is to move your mom into a seniors home if it is at all feasible. I honestly believe (in my cas too) that she won't be any more angry than she already is, and both you and she will be safer. Now if I can just convince my brother......

  - Rose

• July 22, 2009 3:03 p.m.

  My husband went "AWOL" in March 09 and it was a message from the Lord that it was time for Al to be in a secure home. My daughter & daughter-in-love both kept encouraging to do that. That kept telling me they could see how i was under stress and they loved so. They were right; recently I came across a number of important things I had not done like pay the house insurance. I thought I had everything under control-- WRONG! Listen to your loved ones and evaluate yourself carefully so that you don't go through what I did. How I wished I had listened to them.

  - Betty

• July 12, 2009 4:51 p.m.

  my mother was diagnosed with dementia and altziemers early 2004 she has been in a residential home i have seen her condition getting worse since then,i believe what brought it on was a incedent on a bus,when she was propelled into a glass panel on the bus smashing it with her head,afterwards she felt very sick and later was diagnosed as i have said christmas 2009 she had what they said was a stroke but they were not sure she has improved since but is doubly incontinent and her speach is not understandable apart from some words which are quite clear she has gained the use of her limbs and now walks with a zimmer frame but seems to go into deep sleep and although she partially responds she keeps her eyes shut but cannot be aroused to open her eyes,she seems to talk a lot which sounds as gibberish and mumbling what stage is my mother at,what is the final stage likely to be like and roughly how long will i have my mother for,as i love my mother very much and need to know some information

  - colin morgan