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  • With Mayo Clinic health education outreach coordinator

    Angela Lunde

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  • Alzheimer's caregiving
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  • Alzheimer's blog

  • Feb. 28, 2008

    Living in the moment is good medicine

    By Angela Lunde

7 comments posted

We know that dementia damages brain cells, but like many of you I do not believe it destroys a person's humanity or the need to be in relationships with others and valued as a person. Dementia does not erase a person's individuality; it is one aspect of a person with a rich history that came before the diagnosis.

In collaboration with the Alzheimer's Association, I facilitate a support group for persons with early stage Alzheimer's disease and their care partner called 'Memory Club'. One of the most meaningful activities comes when each member is asked to bring in something about them, past or present. It is at this time when we are deeply aware of the unique individuals within our group.

The time they spend sharing their photographs, art work, model airplanes, awards, poetry, music (just to name some) reconnects that person to who they are and affirms for all of us that what defines them as an individual is far greater then a diagnosis of dementia.

Yet, the group is not about ignoring what brings them together. They talk about their disease and fully acknowledge that at the present time there is no cure. They candidly share the changes and losses they are experiencing, but in a safe and supportive place. I believe for each of them, the quality of their life is best reflected in the experience of the relationships they share at any given moment on this undeserved journey. The most important moment for a person with dementia is often the present moment.

I was touched by a recent posting that went something like: I could have had more 'semi-quality' time with my husband if I'd lived more in the moment. But it's very hard when you ARE mourning who the person WAS, what could have been, and worrying about the future. These well spoken words reflect that living in the moment in the midst of fear, anger and loss is extremely hard, yet, just may be the best medicine around these days.

7 comments posted

blog index
  • October 8, 2008 9:03 a.m.

    My memoir, which donates proceeds to Alzheimer's research, describes the value of maintaining emotional memory through reminising. It not only provides living in the moment but improves the quality of life for those living with the disease. My husband and I shared his disease for 11 years, and he was able to say "I love you" until the end. It isn't easy to meet the challenges of this sad disease,but we grew closer than ever and "Everything Will Be Alright: an Alzheimer's memoir" has made it possible for me to go on in my life without him by heeding his favorite philosophy.

    - glory Read

  • July 12, 2008 1:26 p.m.

    I have a question. The problem that my wife has at 80 years of age is not memory as much as confusion..believing every once in awhile that I am her father. Looks right at me and says where is "Jack" meaning me. She sees her father and says we look alike. Her father has been gone for years. She thinks that I went out wihout telling her. Angry that I didn't call to tell her where I am. After awhile she gets over this and is loving and knows that I am homme. But still, next day may say where were you. I just tell her that I've been here all of the time and she seems to accept that. This can happen very often, day to day or week to week. How do I handle this. It isn't memory problem. Though she does have problems playing cards. Other than that, no memory problems at all. Is it reall demencia, or something else. I don't know. She was diagnosed as early dimencia.

    - jack feins

  • April 26, 2008 7:10 p.m.

    Please advise as to taking the drug RAMINYL for memory after two strokes.It has been noted to help after strokes.

    - millie fader

  • March 23, 2008 3:07 p.m.

    We lost our mother this October and I always dreaded the visit to the center. I felt she was not taken good enough care and knew that nurses were able to do better. I am a nurse. I am also a daughter and sister and the caregivers really did work their tails off based on the amt of time each pt takes and the paperwork that goes with the job. Focus your energy to incorporating your fond memories with others in the home. Journaling your feeling will help turn loss to gain. Your family mbr is able to hear you. The message may be mixed up but your voice and the memories, the soothing comfort will be there till the end. Let them know that if they are tired it is ok to go as they have blessed us with so much. Laugh and tell stories of your life and theirs. Others may find comfort and gratification in them as well. I did an alzhiemer walk this year and I shared stories and hugged others like me. It really helped the day she died. "Gather your memories and pictures. Find your favorite poems and songs. Share your wisdom, thought and memories then start preparing to move on." "You will never lose what you have shared, but could waste that which you stuffed away and other may have benifited from." From those who mourn. Giving forward is natural in parenting and loving. Your reward will come later when you need it most. A warm smile, gentle touch or even a soothing voice. The rewards and gifts are what is in your heart, give the gift of giving.

    - Debra

  • March 18, 2008 7:19 a.m.

    My name is Kathy, and I am the primary caregiver for my 79 year old Dad who has Alzheimer's disease and lives with me in North Carolina. I am writing a daily blog on my Alzheimer's caregiver website that shows the lighter side of caring for someone with dementia. I have also added over 100 pages of resources for caregivers that I have gathered over the three years Dad has lived here. Please pass this link along to anyone you feel would enjoy or benefit from it. http://www.KnowItAlz.com Thanks, Kathy

    - Kathy Hatfield

  • March 12, 2008 2:41 p.m.

    My guess is the brain damage that is occuring?

    - Pam

  • March 5, 2008 4:47 p.m.

    Hi. My sweet husband is in his 14th year of Alzheimer's, since the diagnosis. He was home with me until Apr. of 2006. He can still eat regular food, but has to be fed, can no longer walk nor does he talk; in the past year he has had 5 seizures, 2 of them major. The first one took away his albility to stand and/or walk, the last one, a week ago,actually seems to have made him more aware. - However, on a scale of 1 to 10 he is probably only at 1.5. He is the only one of 50+ alzheimer's patients who've come and gone in the last year who has had seizures. What causes them in Alzheimer's patients? Thanks.

    - Barb

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