Depression (major depression)

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• February 12, 2012 7:18 a.m.

  I am 57 years old and I feel that I've been cheated in this life. My x left me for another man after 34 years of marriage. I have met so many dishonest men and I decided about a year ago that I no longer want anyone in my life other than my family. I am totaly alone. I go to work and then I go home and crawl in the bed and can't wait until it's dark to sleep. I have no friends and this is effecting my job performance bc I am having a harder and harder time putting on that "smile face" I work in a doctors office and went to the manager and told her how I was feeling and she basically told me to put on my big girl panties. I have contemplated just giving up with this life but my grandson's face and I have second thoughts. But I really want to. I took the quiz on this site and I was in"severe depression" I would love to get better and go to a counseler but everyone in the office would know about it. There is no privacy. Everyone talks about others doctor's visit. The nurse tells someone and then they tell another and before long everyone knows. I have to have a referal to go to a specialist but the girl who does the referals tells everyone. So I feel like I'm in a cycle. I would give anything not to feel this way, and maybe I've waited too long. I just feel hopeless.

  - Becky

• February 11, 2012 11:41 a.m.

  Hi, Nikki. When I read your post, I thought "Wow! This person knows exactly how I feel." I'm in my early 40s and look back at my life and think about where I imagined myself at this age. It certainly didn't look anything like my reality. I also feel tired all the time, physically and emotionally. It makes daily life quite a challenge. I've found the advice from others you mention about choosing to be happy is impossible for me when I'm going through a bout of depression. I'm sure it's that simple for some people but isn't true for everyone - certainly not me. Talking to someone who understands what you experience does help most of the time. It's frustrating not being able to afford getting the help when you realize you need and want it. I'm guessing this blog is a way for you to "talk" without the expense. This is my first time posting on a blog, but I understand how you feel so you're not alone.

  - Ronda

• February 11, 2012 12:44 a.m.

  I'm 36yrs old and life is just passing me by. I look at where I am in life now and I see, nowhere...I have not accomplished a thing. I have not expierenced anything. I feel uncomfortable around everyone, like I just don't fit in. I look at other people around my age and I don't feel I match up. I feel like I'm in a world of my own. I try to hide how I feel but I don't think I'm doing a good job of it. I cry a lot. My body hurts from head to toe and I'm tired. I'm tired of everything. I have been feeling like this for as long as I can remember. Don't even know at what point in my life I was just ever really happy. I've heard people say happiness is a choice. You just have to make it up in your mind that you are going to be happy. Well tell me how do you do that. I told myself, oh Im going to be happy and try to laugh and have fun but still feeling hopeless. What do you do when you want to talk to somebody, need to talk to somebody but can't afford to do so?

  - Nikki

• February 6, 2012 10:44 p.m.

  Annette.... Im so sorry this person has made you feel ill and is just nasty . I hope you are feeling better now and the problem with him or her has been solved .You dont have to do anything for me .Just knowing I can come on this blog and say hi is a great feeling to know my musketeers are here .Hope the next time I talk to you you are not sounding so sad .You are in my thoughts.Take care

  - kam

• February 5, 2012 1:29 p.m.

  Dear Denise and Kam,had a rough times. last week had a quarrel with a colleague. she had gone far and this time wont just go home and cry. have to fight to stop her, she always belittled me. this week i felt nausea, headache, went to the doctor to check if my bp is good and is good, told me my shoulders are hard so that means that am so stressed.i still feel it until now and it is also very cold outside have not so much motivations. how are you, hope you`re feeling good. thanks for your concern and missing me here. its so nice to know that there are people out there who care and pray for me. thank you so much, your friendship helps me a lot. you too is always in my prayers and thoughts everyday. take care. @Kam thank you so much for your kind words, for considering me as a special one and a friend, even if i didn`t do a lot for you and Denise, like giving advises and comforting words. it is me who always received advices and comforting words from both of you. thank you for being my friend here. I hope both you good health always. take care.

  - Annette

• February 3, 2012 11:44 p.m.

  Kind Sir, I think that there are those young children who struggle with passage, may you guide them in wisdom for they know not what they do? Just a question, no answer is required. I believe that all souls are brought upon the earth to a greater task than they can imagine, so it is for the young. Would you agree or would you not agree? If it is the task of the young, then is it not our task as elders to embrace and guide those who do not have a path? I struggle to know.n You have wisdom, don't you? No challenges here, just trying to cope with somethings that I cannot explain. I appreciate your feedback. Sincerely, Nanc

  - Nancy

• February 3, 2012 10:50 p.m.

  dear annette: hey girl where's our 3rd musketeer been-i hope ur ok?? we miss you write soon your in my thoughts & prayers

  - denise

• February 3, 2012 10:33 p.m.

  dear paron: i've not heard of the disorder that ur speaking of, but i looked up on-line & spelled "somesthetic" and that might be what ur asking about-i live in the u.s., so i have never heard of it-u can go on-line 2 find out more info. about it-good luck to you & welcome to the blog-i hope this helps you

  - denise

• February 2, 2012 11:22 p.m.

  any one have a idea of a mental disorder called -solmastatic (spelling?) - Target is women of European descent

  - paron

• February 2, 2012 9:17 a.m.

  Philip,, Everything you read on this site is important. I have two very special people here for me .Annette and Denise .I have never met them in person . They have been there for me on my up days and dowm .To have that kind of special friendship is very rare and I treasure it .Knowing they are here has so many times helped me make it through the day .Just knowing they have gone through so many of the same things I have and never judge me or tell me to get a grip is so special .I hope your site is a place where people can help each other as much as this one is .Good luck !

  - kam

• February 2, 2012 3:58 a.m.

  I love that people are still helping each other on this blog even 3 years after the post. Just goes to show what this community is made of. I just started a non-profit Danish site for people which I hope will help us Scandinavians more with our especially winterdepression. www.dindepression.dk What do you think is the most important issues to deal with on the site?

  - Philip

• February 1, 2012 11:28 a.m.

  dear kam: i'm sooo sorry 2 hear that ur not doing well, i hope your therapy helps u real soon, miss talking 2 you 2!!! ur in my thoughts & prayers daily, i'm doing ok even though i've stopped taking the abilify-i just couldn't take all this wt. gain-i no it's still in my system because my eating is still not normal (whatever that is-lol), still on the lamictal only 100 mg. per day maybe i'll ask doc to boost this up to 200 mg. per day, that seems to be the dosage that my blood work says i should be @?? we'll c i'm just laying around more than i'd like to be-not leaving the house 2 much-weather's weird we had temps. in the 50's yesterday-should be in the low 30's, no snow-yeah!! write soon if u can take care

  - denise

• January 29, 2012 10:34 p.m.

  Denise. In a very bad place right now .Just not able to get myself together right now. Miss talking to you and Annette. Think of you often .Best wishes to u both .

  - kam

• January 29, 2012 7:23 p.m.

  dear annette: hope u r doing well, i've been eating a lot!! come to find out it's b cuz of the abilify-gonna call the dr. & ask him if i can stop taking it?? i've gained a lot of wt. & i feel like a "fat pig", i eat everything & all the time!! no good, especially since it's winter here in mi. & it's toooo cold for me to go outside-don't like the cold or the snow!! other than that everything is goin ok, you're in my thoughts & prayers

  - denise

• January 29, 2012 6:52 p.m.

  dear kam: thank you for that nice compliment-it was so nice of you to say that-how r u feelin?? ok i hope

  - denise

• January 28, 2012 9:34 p.m.

  Denise,,You are so kind and caring .This world needs more people like you. Hope you are feeling well yourself .

  - kam

• January 28, 2012 5:19 p.m.

  dear kaylee: hope u can convince your parents that u need help, if not try & talk to another trusted adult (sister, brother, gramma, grandpa, etc.), they may be able to talk to your parents & make them c that u need help, if you haven't gone to a dr. yet-try & get in to see your reg. family dr. & he/she can run some tests to see if there are any medical problems going on-then they may refer u to a psychiatrist-don't worry it's no big deal-you just tell them what's going on & they'll probably prescribe some meds. 4 u, so that you're not so miserable & to make the suicidal thoughts go away, i hope that when u get any kind of thoughts of harming yourself you will call the suicide hot-line (the phone no. is @ the top of this page), i hope this helps u & keep writing in if it makes u feel better

  - denise

• January 28, 2012 5:06 p.m.

  dear scarlett: welcome to the blog-i'm glad u wrote in, sounds like you're having some anxiety also along with ur depression, (crying spells), my dr. prescribes ativan 4 me-to help me sleep-i take 2 mg. & that helps me sleep thru the nite, u may only need 1 mg. depending how meds. work 4 u?? it will also help with the periods of crying-2 keep that under control-there's nothing worse than crying 4 no reason & trying to explain to people why ur crying (this is what happens to me when i'm having any kind of anxiety), i'm not a professional just someone that has suffered from depression 4 a long time, if u don't want to take the ativan, u can try over-the-counter benedryl (i get the off-brand for only $1.75 for a 20 ct. pk.), u only need 1 or 2 a nite & u should get a good nites sleep, you're sooo lucky & fortunate that u have a supportive husband-that is so important, it's gotta b hard for you with the kids-'cause u wanna do things with them & for them & u just can't when you're going thru this, i'm glad that some of the posts have helped you, feel free to write in @ any time-there's always someone here to answer your questions or just listen to what u want to say, keep up with the good attitude-there is always hope for us & never give up!! hope this helped you & write back soon if it helps you

  - denise

• January 25, 2012 9:00 p.m.

  I'm 16. I'm filled with depression all I ever find interest in is thinong of.ways I could end my life. My parents ignore it and think it will go away, but it hasn't. All my friends are happy but honestly I couldn't be.more depressed. I have nothing going for me and I just want it to all go away. All thee misery, and dissapointment I have caused to so many people. All I want is t.be happy.

  - kaylee

• January 24, 2012 12:41 a.m.

  Dear KC, Please feel free to talk with me. I feel alone and reading some of these posts helps me a bit. Yours mad me sad. There is hope. I'm your hope, ok?

  - Scarlett

• January 24, 2012 12:29 a.m.

  I have bouts of insomnia with my depression. I am on meds but I seem to go through periods of crying, not interested in anything, and so lonely. That's the worst for me! I have 2 children and a supportive husband. Not sleeping is tough on my family because then I have "a short fuse". Anyone have a remedy that works for them?

  - Scarlett

• January 21, 2012 4:35 p.m.

  dear faye: i'm glad u wrote in, it is really a hard thing to deal with when ur family and/or friends don't believe that u have a serious illness-since you've been dealing with this for soooo long now-u would think that they would believe that you really r suffering from depression-not to defend them @ all but so much of the time, unless you're going thru it yourself, it's hard for someone to understand, but like i said, since you've had it for so long u think they would understand it more?? the only thing u can do is tell them how u feel & compare it to something that maybe they have gone thru b 4 & that they had no control over, something that they were not able to do anything to change the situation or make it better-you can't fake having diabetes for example, i explain my loss of energy or motivation-as compared to a very serious case of the flu- where u can't even move (even if you wanted to), there are some good books for families & friends to read, talk to your dr.-see if your family will go to your appt. with you & go in to see the dr. too-he/she may be able to explain that you are not making these things up-good luck to you, i hope this helped & write back in to let me know how you're doing??

  - denise

• January 21, 2012 11:56 a.m.

  Phil, Regarding your No Hope Depression: Vyvanse is a prescription medicine for the treatment of ADHD in children ages 6 to 17 and adults. I really don't think that is a medication that will help depression. If you are still having difficulty with depression symptoms ask your doctor to increase your dose, or ask for a script to have a genetic blood test (CYP450) which will show how you metabolize anti-depression medication. It will help determine which antidepressant may be effective for you. Medications affect each individual differently because of inherited (genetic) traits. By checking your DNA for certain gene variations, cytochrome P450 tests can offer clues about how your body may respond to a particular antidepressant. There are four phenotypes of CYP2D6: Poor Metabolizer (PM), Intermediate Metabolizer (IM), Extensive (normal) Metabolizer (EM) and Ultrarapid Metabolizer (UM). For CYP2C19, there are only two phenotypes: PM and EM. If a substrate of the enzyme is given to the patient as a medication, and if the patient has reduced CYP2D6 or CYP2C19 activity, the patient will have elevated drug concentration in their body, and therefore severe side effects may occur. On the other hand, for the UM patient, the drug concentration might be too low to have a therapeutic effect. Testing the phenotype of the patient is important to help determine the optimum dosage of the drug. My insurance covered the cost. Look into 5HTP supplement they helped me with residual symptoms.

  - No name given

• January 20, 2012 9:59 p.m.

  I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 30 (I'm now 63). I am in a serious "dip" right now which several physical issues aren't helping. One problem that happens all the time is that my adult children don't believe there is anything wrong,that I'm just making it all up to get attention. I'm sure I'm not alone with this problem. What do you do about it?

  - Faye

• January 19, 2012 4:31 p.m.

  Dear Denise, Thanks so much for writing me about me about my "no hope" depression. The only drugs you mentioned that I haven't tried are ritalin (but my main problem is anxiety....what would it do to that?)and vyvanse (never heard of that one). I'll bring those up with my Dr., who I see soon...actually I've been getting worse every day, complete with crying, so I might just give him a call today. Another "new" feeling I've had lately is "scared!" ....of what I'm not sure, but it's beyond "anxiety". I'll let you know soon what I've accomplished. I appreciate your interest. Phil

  - Phil