Depression (major depression)

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• July 24, 2011 10:12 p.m.

  Dear Annette. As a child had every kind of abuse there is .Hid it from the family and friends .Didnt think it was anyones problem but mine .Now only very close family knows !One of the things with PTSD is you learn how to hide from what is really going on in your mind .You learn not to trust anyone .I dont like what is outside my front door .I dont feel safe out there .I try to get out ,but really like to be at home .I work very hard at my therapy (weekly).The meds do most of the time help .I am learning to trust a little .Wouldnt it be wonderful if there was a magic pill for people like us .To be able to walk out the door and not feel like Im going to panic out ,would be awesome .5 years of therapy and I am just starting to get into the really deep things that caused the PTSD. My thoughts are with you .Hope tomorrow is a better day .I have learned to take one day at a time .Sometimes one hour at a time !Thank you for writting .Its helpfull to know you are not alone .

  - kam

• July 24, 2011 9:55 p.m.

  dear annette: how r u?? could i ever relate to your comment bout being on the couch in my "jammies" not even bothering to change in to day time clothes, not brushing my hair or teeth-can't b leave i don't even have the energy 2 do these things-oh well that's my life when the meds. rnt working, familly is all up north (on vaca.), so i'm on my own 4 the week, it'll be a little weird no one 2 talk 2?? how's ur meds. workin out 4 u?? any better?? gettin' tired & i haven't even done anything-a few dishes-for the first time in ages, i eat-rinse'm out & set em aside (i never do that when i'm doing well), well should get ready 4 bed, o ya all ready r in my "jammies" lol, hope 2 morrow is a better day 4 all of us, thanks 4 evry thing

  - denise

• July 24, 2011 9:40 p.m.

  dear kam: have not been doing well, that's why u haven't heard from me, sleeping ALL the time!! only time i'm awake is for a couple of hrs. @ nite (8-11 p.m.) & i feel half-way decent, haven't figured this out, whether the meds. r out of my system or what?? how r u doing?? i hope better, gonna call the doc 2 morrow & ask him 2 call in my pres. 4 the nardil again, but the brand name (not the generic), think i've figured out that the brand name drugs r the only ones that work 4 me?? i hope he'll do it & i hope the ins. co. will cover 4 it?? my mind is in such a fog, can't think clearly @ all-haven't really had that b 4, how's the lamictal working out 4 u?? has the dr. found the right dosage 4 u by cking. your blood levels?? how's the nite terrors been?? thank you for the kind words will talk to you soon

  - denise

• July 23, 2011 9:17 p.m.

  to me it comes to what a dr said how about whatever works for you / 3

  - George

• July 23, 2011 3:48 p.m.

  Because of this site,I know I'm not the only person feeling as I do. I'm 65 yrs old and have had depression most of my life. Have been only many different meds. They work for a while,but because I have so many side effects to lots of meds it is not always easy to find a med.that always works for me. I do have thyroid disease and that makes it more difficult at times. I feel so sad and empty,and I want to live and be happy.I find most family and friends just don't understand. So many believe we could make it all go away,just work at it harder. I have gone through some difficult times in my life,but that isn't all the problems. I am working with a new dr. and therpist,but so far meds. are not working. Hope within the next couple of weeks they will have something new. Thanks to all of you that post,I find that to be helpful to know your not alone. God Bless to all.

  - Peggy

• July 22, 2011 12:27 p.m.

  Dear Kam, how are you? I think I have the same kind of depression as you have lol. i`m the one diagnosing myself. in my country they (not sure), cause my dr. didnt ask me what`s cause of my depression. just give antidep. and that was it. he is my family dr. i was traumatized when i was a child. have lots of friends but i`m careful of those i confide in. i told only 4 friends. same as you i live in 2 diferent worlds. same thing i wrote to Denise, it is summer time, in my country when it`s nice weather all the people are outside, enjoying the weather like sun bathing, jogging, gardening, bbq with friends & family, cycling, etc. wearing summer outfits and here i am in pj lying in the couch, have not wash my face nor brush my teeth, hair uncombed. feeling terrible, that`s why i said life is unfair. i also would like to express my thanks to you and Denise, i feel am not alone in this struggle. hope someday there will a miracle med for all of us. you are also in my prayers.

  - Annette

• July 22, 2011 10:18 a.m.

  Dear Denise How are you? hope you feel a lot better now. yes of course it will all pass when the med begins to work. in my country when it`s summmer time, everyone is excited, as soon as it is nice weather all the people get out of their house, walking, jogging, gardening, boating, swimming in the lake sun bathing, etc. wearing summer clothes, going to other countries to spend their vacations and here i am lying in my couch still wearing my pj,hair uncombed, not washing my face, or brushing teeth. just feeling terrible. you are always in my prayers.

  - Annette

• July 21, 2011 2:52 p.m.

  I suffer from clinical depressin and am scheduled to start TMS treatments. I have a question about how selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors work. From Mayo Clinic site it says SSRIs ease depression by affecting chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) used to communicate between brain cells by changing the levels of one or more of these naturally occurring brain chemicals. SSRIs block the reabsorption (reuptake) of the neurotransmitter serotonin (ser-oh-TOE-nin) in the brain. Changing the balance of serotonin seems to help brain cells send and receive chemical messages, which in turn boosts mood. Does this mean that the brain manufactures enough serotonin, but the readsorption prevents the natural serotonin production from being useful to help send and receive chemical messengers? Do the medications taken for such depression provide serotonin or just change the way the brain can obtain natural produced serotonin?

  - Walter

• July 20, 2011 11:07 a.m.

  Dear Denise, I totally agree with Annette.You are such an in spiration to so many people here .Most people run for the hills the minute I say I have PTSD.They want nothing to do with me .Not you .Thank you,,, it really means a lot to me .Annette I loved the comment about normal people .You are so right .I feel like I live in two different worlds .The PTSD world 75% of me . The world outside my front door .I dont fit into that world .That world is full of fake smiles and never knowing when panic will hit .Thank you both you often help me make it through another day.I hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us !

  - kam

• July 19, 2011 8:38 p.m.

  dear annette: i'm glad that you have people (husband & kids) to care for you, that's sooo important, it's so weird (good weird) that you said all the "normal people"-lol, are outside enjoying the weather & their vacations, my mind is in a real fog, i can't think very straight, oh well, that will pass (i'm sure)-when the meds. kick in, thank you for keeping me in your prayers, will talk to you soon

  - denise

• July 19, 2011 8:28 p.m.

  dear kam: have been house-bound since my doc appt. last thurs., plus it's been soooo hot here in michigan, (in the 90's) every day, i remember when we 1st started talkin' back & forth, it seems like such a long time ago, but it's really not, i'm soooo glad the drs. found out about your thyroid, i remember we were talking about that b 4, thank you so much for the kind & thoughtful words, you have helped me in many ways too, called the doc 2 day, want to cut the nardil back to 15 mg. instead of 45 mg., for me that's too high, i always have to be on the lowest dose, i don't think i slept as much 2 day as yesterday?? only took 15 mg. (one pill), 2-day instead of 2, but still too tired to do anything, will be better 2 morrow, glad to hear from you & i'm glad you're doing better!!

  - denise

• July 19, 2011 11:12 a.m.

  Dear Denise you are most welcome. you deseve compliments. you are my example of not giving up, even if you feel very bad but you`don`t write any negative word. you always write positive and encouraging everyone in this blog.you are a very strong woman. it is summer and normal people are enjoying the good weather and holidays and here we are just busy fighting to feel good. life is not fair, isn`t it? but God is good. Yeah I feel pity on that young boy whom you are communicating with. he is so young for this terrible illness, my heart weeps for him. it is a good thing that he finds you. at least he has a mother figure to talk to. we all need someday to take care for us, understand us when this illness gets worse. I have a very loving husband who takes care of me, understand my illness. my children a son of almost 21 yrs.& a 16 yrs old daughter. but they don`t know about my illness. don`t want them to worry about me. I will tell them when the time is right. they`re busy for their studies. I hope and pray that you will soon feel good again. as for me there are times when i feel down again, don`t know if this is bec. of remeron that i`m taking for 5 days now to help me sleep of the nortrityline stops working for me. I`m going to the pyschiatrist coming friday for the 1st. time. you are always in my prayers hope you feel better soon. thank you for your time for writing back.

  - Annette

• July 19, 2011 10:05 a.m.

  Dear Denise , Im so sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time.I hit bottom a few weeks ago . I thought I was just starting to feel better when i found out my thyroid had all most stopped working .I have been on meds for it for over a year now and made sure I took the meds everyday .Then some family stuff put us all in a bad place . As long as I have been on this sight you have been the most supporting ,,understanding person I have ever talked to .I am so sorry you are not feeling well and I truly hope you are feelind a little better day by day . I think some days thats all we can hope for .My thoughts are with you . I know how strong and positive you are ,,but I also know how hard it can be to find that when you feel like you cant pick your head up .Let us know how you are going .

  - kam

• July 19, 2011 3:52 a.m.

  dear annette: thank u sooooo much 4 the kind thoughts, i appreciate it more than you can know, i booked the hotel 4 the wedding one month ago, (was doing good then), of course 2 wks. of not doing good & had to cancel my plans-you're so right it is soooo frustrating, i 2 have wished that i had diabetes or some other illness that could be more under control, i've been sleeping soooo much, hardly awake 2 eat, gonna call doc 2 morrow to lower the dosage of my nardil, have had a headache 2 most of the time, but it got really bad after i ate a bologna sand.??, here come to find out that was on the list of "no-no's" of food not 2 eat!! did not even see it on the long list, well now i know!! keep going over the things on the pharmacy print-out sheet-there's alot of foods that i forgot that r on the list, if the drug works (or i should say WHEN it starts 2 work), i'll just have to concentrate on the foods that i still CAN eat?? i have a young man that i e-mail back & forth with that lives in the UK, he's only 15 yrs. old & is already suffering from what we do, i've only been communicating with him 4 a month now, but it seems like it's been so much longer, he doesn't speak with his parents & basically has no other family or friends, i can't even imagine, my mom has been my "rock" & i don't know what i'd do w/o her, i hope u have someone that u can turn to when u need help with things, you're in my prayers & hope that you stay well!!

  - denise

• July 18, 2011 3:40 p.m.

  Dear Denise how are you? sorry to hear that you were not able to go with your family to the wedding. this is now the very annoying and terrible thing about our disease (sorry for my English) we just can`t do what we want. sometimes I wish I have diabetes than depression. last April I was invited by a family to spend vacation with her family in scotland. I did book for it right away, my depression was then not worse, but in June got worser thought I`ll cancell it but then my friends advised me to go, I went tho not feeling so good, but I`m glad I did cause it did me good. I brought my netbook with me, thought could send you from there a mail, but unluckilly was not able to cause the whole were away and back so late, was then very tired. so your back to maoi I`ll pray will you. Denise you are my model, so hope you`re my model, remember that. hope your not sad anymore. cheer up my friend. pls try the apple vinegar with honey. use honey when you drink tea. when I`m at home I drink 8 mugs of green tea with 1 teaspoon honey. don`t be afraid that u will gain weight with honey cause it does not. you are always in my prayers.

  - Annette

• July 16, 2011 10:33 p.m.

  I want to tell anyone that just cant sleep,,or really feel very restless.Please dont let it go .I have been on thyroid meds for about a year now .Got regular blood work .Started to feel so tired and just not myself at all.Got blood work done and my thyroid was almost shut down.Raised my thyroid med from 25mg to 100mg .After a few days already starting to feel better .Your thyroid can cause so many problems .Please do yourself a favor get a simple blood test.

  - kam

• July 16, 2011 9:20 p.m.

  I lost a sister to colon cancer 4 months ago and the last 5 weeks of her life were very hard.. she went down fast to where she could do nothing for herself..so my other 3 sisters and i would go sit with her and help her.. now the reason i am writing after her passing my other sister is convinced she is her or something.. I have never heard or seen anything like it.. she has went thru all the things my other sister has and the doctors say it is major depression and put her on zoloft and council her 1 every 2 weeks.. i think she needs to be committed but if they arent suicidal they wont.. my sister that passed in the end couldnt walk, eat, or anything and the depressed sister is at the final stage my sick sister was.. she can do nothing on her own.. she is now in a hospital again where they keep running test again.. seems like thats all they do and find nothing.. we have called all kinds of dr's for opinions and so on and we are at a loss as what to do..can a person metally convince theirself they are that person or so sick they can die???????????????????

  - Connie

• July 16, 2011 11:42 a.m.

  dear annette: was wondering where u were?? glad u had a nice holiday!! have stopped the pristiq-one wk. now & doc stopped my abilify, wasn't doing anything (not a surprise-with me), gonna start on nardil-an MAOI-different make-up than the other a.d.'s, was on it a long time ago, worked good & then it just stopped, come 2 find out the co. changed the formula & didn't tell anyone-can they do that?? well they did, looking forward to this time around with it, glad u r doing good, the pristiq just made me sleep, others get energy & insomnia-that's me-i get the opposite!! i've heard that the herbal supplement apple vinegar gives u energy, maybe i'll try it?? u have a nice wknd. 2, i'm kinda sad all my family is @ a wedding 3 hrs. away, i wasn't well enough 2 go, you're always in my prayers too thanks

  - denise

• July 16, 2011 10:02 a.m.

  Dear Denise how are you. hope your new med. has already help you. was the abilify stops working on you? I`ve been away for a week holiday and it did me good, forgot my ailment. wish could always be on holiday lol. I stopped with seroquel and back to mirtazapine the low dose with nortriptyline 50 mg. remeron helps me with sleeping. as of now am functional. hope this combo will last for longer time. I remember when i was 35 yrs. old was feeling very tired, even if was not doing anything, cried a lot since my children were still little could not afford not to move. one time i read in a health magazine that honey with apple vinegar helps with tiredness. tried to use this 2 spoons apple vinegar & 1 spoon honey taken in the morning and afternoon. my tiredness was gone till now am using honey for my tea and my porridge as my breakfast. maybe you can try this if u want. have a nice weekend. you`re always in my prayer.

  - Annette

• July 14, 2011 11:56 p.m.

  dear adam: wow you sure have a lot on your plate, i feel for you!! i hope i can help, try to get her to go to the family dr. 1st, there may be some other health problems going on (not that you need anything else going on), how are the kids doing with all this chaos that's going on?? you're doing the right thing with trying to get some help, does she have a close relationship with her mother?? (maybe she can help to convince her to get some help & see a dr. or counselor?? has any of this been shared with anyone else? i hope you have a good support system (someone that you can trust to talk to), my opinion is she's not thinking clearly-just one of the many signs of depression-mood swings, not caring about things that were important before, my opinion-she does need to see a psychiatrist, get on meds. & get some counseling, get anyone that she trusts to help you to convince her of these things-as soon as possible, stay strong (u sound like you are), good luck, hope this helps you & write back to let me know how you're doing

  - denise

• July 14, 2011 11:37 p.m.

  dear cathleen: i'm glad that u wrote in, i'm not a professional, just someone that has been on just about every drug there is for depression in the past 35+ years that i've suffered from this illness, your mother is going thru some horrible things right now & to have to deal with depression on top of everything else is just terrible, all these meds. have side effects, the depression itself can be very debilitating, but zoloft should not cause drooling, not being able to speak or walk, muscles can become weak and cause difficulty with standing or walking, but it's best to ck. the side effects of that medication by looking it up on-line: put in the drug name & go under rxlist.com or drugs.com or any of the others that r listed, some of them have patient reviews, which i find very helpful, as patients that are taking the particular med. let you know what side effects that they're having, take this with "a grain of salt" (as the saying goes) because everyone's different when it comes to these or any other drugs, ex. some people have insomnia & others will sleep & be very drowsy, you are a very strong person to be trying to get as much info. as you can on depression, as the drs. should have realized that the depression was going on right away!!! shame on them, stay strong, i hope this helped you & write back anytime, we will be here for you, you'll both be in my prayers

  - denise

• July 14, 2011 7:51 p.m.

  My wife who is 29 just said she wanted an immediat divorce after I found out she had cheated on me. I believe she is suffering from clinical depression and her mothr says she is bipolar. She wants to move out with our 3 children under 5 with no job. She has had psychological problems in her youth. The reasons I believe she is depressed is: our 3rd child was born at 28 weeks 2.5 years ago and spent 3 months in the hospital. She has always felt guilty about this and his subsequent problems. Then, this past January, she had to have a partial hysterectomy and realizes that she can't have more children. She also suffers from PCOS. She was a wonderful mother. Now she has lost intrest in the house and is starting to lose intrest in the kids. Then, of course, there was the infidelity, which I am willing to forgive if she is sick. Oh, the last thing is she had major plastic surgery -- tummy tuck, boob lift and implants -- in mid-May. She has been worse since then. What do you make of all of this. She's turned from a somewhat skewed June Cleaver to a fatigued, skinny woman who hates herself. How do I convince her that a divorce is not the answer -- just yet. I want her to get help and medication first and then she can decide after she's a little better if she still wants the divorce. What do you think and how do I get her to agree?

  - Adam

• July 14, 2011 1:55 p.m.

  I was wondering if anyone can help me regarding questions about getting clarity regarding depression. My 75 year old mother was on treatment for chemotherapy when she started to decline into something the doctors could not identify medically. They are now saying that she is suffering from depression because they don't know how else to label it. During chemotherapy she was a active woman, and after her third treatment she started to decline. Treatments were stopped because she can no longer speak, eat, walk, or move on her own. After several weeks of not eating, she was given a feeding tube because they did not know what was wrong with her. She was hospitalized for 30 days with an infection, but besides that she is physically fine with a treatable cancer. She was prescribed zoloft for her depression several weeks ago. Basically we are trying to determine if in fact that depression can make a person slur their words or not be able to speak, become completely immobile, drool on themselves, their muscles atrophe, etc? I read descriptions but I am not clear exactly how severely one can be affected. Can anyone here please clarify? Thank you so much for your time.

  - Cathleen

• July 12, 2011 5:49 p.m.

  My apologies for writing so much..writing has been a part of getting my feelings out...I am in a low at the moment, coming off Pristiq and waiting for liver function results before starting Valdoxam. I feel alone, hurt and not deserving of the beautiful things in my life. It does not help I have flu...but as I said previously this will pass, it always does..but seems endless at the moment.

  - Cheryl

• July 12, 2011 5:44 p.m.

  There is still a sector of the community that still believes that...but as a person with a treatable depressive illness it is not about them, this is about me. I see myself as BRAVE to say “I needed help” and was a mammoth milestone and can recommend from my experience wholeheartedly to anyone. But the journey continues....... I have since visited a psychiatrist and a well recommended one to hopefully see if I have missed something – a cognitive behaviour, acceptance of the illness with or without drugs, a visit to a psychiatrist I learnt more than I had done in one hour about myself and what mammoth obstacles I had overcome......A new drug has been introduced Valdoxam, but liver function tests need to be done prior to taking.....I am confident with this practitioner and do not feel so alone and talking to someone who truly knows his stuff. We shall see in the coming months. My advice to anyone would be that I found, remember this is my stance and does not have to be yours..is that this feeling will pass, life is good and life sucks, it will pass. You know what it does! Thank you for reading and sharing my journey. Cheryl

  - Cheryl