Depression (major depression)

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• May 22, 2011 12:13 p.m.

  dear bob: my heart goes out 2, i can't even imagine going thru all the things that ur going thru & yet ur still hangin' in there, like annette from europe said 2 me YOU'RE a "STRONG" person! i give u alot of credit, questions: u don't say if ur seeing any kind of dr. (psychiatrist)?, i'm not a professional, but in my opinion it might help u 2 seek someone out, u don't say if u have any support system, i.e. any other family members that live near-by or any close friends ? it is so important 2 have people u can turn 2 in times of crisis, most of the states in the united states, were i live, have crisis centers & other agencies to help people in times of trouble, we have organizations like the red cross & salvation army, try 2 look on the internet 4 any kind of agencies like these, i think the red cross helps people in the UK ? call your local hospitals 2 get a good psych. dr., there r some good ones that DO care, if u don't like that dr., just find another one, does take a little work, but believe me it's worth it!! try to get a family member or close friend (that u can trust) to help u with these things that r so troubling 4 u, some people will say "just pull yourself up by your boot straps", a saying we have here in america meaning to "just snap out of it",(ya right like any of us can really do that), try & get some help 4 your health issues: diabetes & eyesight (just a suggestion), don't give up hope, good luck & write ba

  - denise

• May 22, 2011 12:48 a.m.

  Hjust sounding off really , my life has changed dramatically in the last three months , ny only remaining parent died , i was on employment support because my diabetes has deteriorated and my eyesight too meaning icant work , the state help here social security offered me £8.16 to do the 200 mile trip to the funeral , then in the middle of the bank holidays my income support was stopped which meant i lost housing benefit for ten days and had no money from 26 april to may15 , my diabetes is treatedd by diet. All this and the thought of being homeless and having no help , i went on line worked out how many mg of an over counter drug was needed to end it all - just had to stay out of the way for 11 hours so it was irreversible organ failure , began drinking 5 bottles of red luckily a m8 noticed my behaviour and stopped me. doctors dont seem to care said refer me will chat in three days ,dont seem to want to know because i didnt follow through , any suggestions where i can go to get help , am intelligent but not in this field

  - Bob UK

• May 19, 2011 11:09 a.m.

  Dear Denise, you are an inspiration to me. am also a depression sufferer. I`m 50 yrs. old and I`m living in Europe. I have this disease for more than 15 yrs. I`m using Zoloft 50 mg and last year Aug. I got a relapse. went to my Dr. gave me Mirtazapine, the lower doses 0f 15 and 30 had worked only for a month and higher dose 45 didn`t work effectively, get depressed 4x a week. Dr told me to wait for 4 to 5 weeks for the meds to work. during my depression mood I lost my hope and just like to die, what keeps me going is my hubby and children and reading your letter and your long struggle for this disease gives me hope and courage to continue fighting for this disease. Yesterday went to my Dr to ask for if i can go back to Zoloft, hope and pray it will help me again as it did for the past 15 yrs. You are a strong woman Denise, hope you continue advising other sufferers. God Bless Us All Annette

  - Annette

• May 16, 2011 11:46 p.m.

  dear ciaran: you never want to stop taking a medication w/o cking. w. ur dr. 1st, i'm not a professional, just a person like u that suffers from depression, i was on several different medications 'til we found the right ones, don't ever stop any meds. "cold turkey", u may suffer from some very bad withdrawel symptoms, my dr. told me 2 stop taking the meds., but did not tell me to taper off them !! i was not 2 happy, as u can imagine, what i usually do is try a certain drug 4 about 2 wks. & if it's not working then i ask my dr. if we can increase the dose, no results in 4 wks. i ask him if we can try something else, i don't wait 6 wks., i feel that this is just 2 long,(just my opinion), did your dr. ever try adding any other med. 2 your cymbalta ? has he ever tried anything else besides the paxil ? do some research on-line, there is so much info. that is available, have u been diagnosed with a certain type of depression, i.e. bi-polar, clinical dep., treatment-resistant dep., there's a web-site @ mayo clinic.com, that has alot of good info., being on a med. since Jan. is a pretty long time w. not having any changes in your mood or dep.,(this is just my opinion), i would look into different types of meds., energy-ritalin, dep.-abilify & anxiety/sleep-ativan, i'm on this combo & it's working great 4 me, i have good energy 4 the day, dep. is under control & sleep very well-just some suggestions, good luck 2 u, don't give up hope & write back if this

  - denise

• May 16, 2011 2:32 p.m.

  I'm a 42 year old male. I have been on paxil for 2 years but it stopped working. I saw a psychiatrist & was put on 60 mg cymbalta. This seems to work well for the anxeity but does nothing for the depression. I've been on cymbalta since Jan of this year. I'm very tired all the time, no interest in anything anymore. I don't want to quit cymbalta becuase the last time I stopped taking meds I was really really depressed for a long time. Any suggestions?

  - ciaran

• May 14, 2011 7:11 p.m.

  dear mark g.: ur not losing your mind, u r probably having anxiety attacks, i'm not a professional, just someone who has suffered from depression 4 almost 30 yrs., the mind can play terrible tricks on us, it makes us think things that r not true, your circumstances-unemployed, living w. your parents & being divorced-it happens 2 alot of us, don't give up hope, (my opinion) go to your family dr. & get a good ck. up, there might b something medically wrong or he may refer u to a psych. dr., i know what ur thinking, i'm not crazy i don't need a p.dr., alot of us have been helped w. medicine & other therapies, try not 2 b embarrassed or ashamed we or i should just speak 4 myself, i've been there, over the past 4 mos. my 83 yr. old mom has done my laundry, shopping, run errands, etc. everything 4 me & i'm a 55 yr. old woman, when my meds. r working i'm fine & able to function like a "NORMAL" human being lol, ur not a weak man, none of us r, we just need a little help good luck 2 u don't give up hope & write back if it helps u

  - denise

• May 14, 2011 4:48 p.m.

  Am I losing my mind? My thoughts and anxiety are like torture. I shake my legs and ankles like a pitcher shakes his arm to get the kinks out. Except I'm trying to loosen up the feelings of fear, uselessness and isolation from my mind. It never works. I used to be the guy with the nice house, two car garage and six figure paycheck. Now, I'm divorced, unemployed and living with my parents at the age of 46. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed at what I have become. Am I really depressed or just a very weak man?

  - MarkG

• May 4, 2011 11:35 p.m.

  dear mary i have had ECT treatments before & they helped, but i told my family 2 only let them do that 2 me if i was so out of it & didn't know what the date was, where i was, etc., i'm not a professional, but i know that u can have short term memory loss when u have the treatments done, but everyone's different, they usually show u a video before they do it, so u know what is going to happen 2 u, it did help me, but i was in really bad shape, make sure u've researched most or all of the drugs on-line before u go thru it, i used it as a last resort, good luck

  - denise

• May 4, 2011 11:25 p.m.

  dear mark i have not tried TMS, but you can probably research it on-line & i'm sure u'll get some info. about it, good luck

  - denise

• May 4, 2011 11:21 p.m.

  dear alfred i was also on wellbutrin & it didn't seem to do any good 4 me,it's supposed 2 help people that have seasonal affective disorder also, i think the mood swings means that you may have a type of bi-polar disorder, not any of the other types of depression (there are many) i'm not a professional, just a person that has suffered from depression 4 about 30 yrs., if u don't have enough time with your dr., try calling a pharmacist, i have found that they r very helpful!! research your meds. on the computer web m.d. & rx list r very good sites 2 go 2, they even have comments from others that have experience the side effects & they rate the meds. 2, good luck, i hope this helped, keep writing

  - denise

• May 3, 2011 8:20 p.m.

  Has anyone tried TMS?

  - MarkG

• May 3, 2011 8:17 a.m.

  I have dealt with depression for over 20 years and have a strong family history of depression on my dad's side of the family. I was on the same medication for years and thought all was well and then my depression worsened and my med nurse is working on finding the right combination of meds for me. I too tried to commit suicide with pills and failed. I have a wonderful husband and kids and I have to remind myself each day how badly I hurt them and that I don't ever want to do that to them again. At the time, I felt my pain was too much stronger than my worry about hurting them. Please don't ever choose that option, even if you think it won't matter because you will be gone or that they will be better off without you because that is never true. There is always help out there and no matter how bad I feel at times, I know that there is help.

  - Missy

• April 28, 2011 1:32 p.m.

  I have read several of the blogs and I want to tell people not to give up. Oct. 2 2010 I attempted to kill my self twice. First with pills, woke up and then with cutting. I clot very fast. So I calle our local crisis line. In no time I was in the ambulance to ER for stiches and then up to crisis. Then on Monday went into inpaitient hospital for a week. I have been in Therapy and seeing my med Nurse at least monthly. Everyone was very nice and listened. First day in the hospital the social worker within 2 hours called me a faker and told me to stop. I was faking i was Ok and had made a dumb move. I learned alot about myself that week. I also learned about the "V". That 10/2/10 I was at the bottom of the "V" and the walls made me not be able to see the broader view. I am now crawling up and it has been a journey. I have ups and downs, but I have promised my family, friends and co-workers I would never attempt suicide again. As time has gone on I do not like seeng the pain I put them through. I have also prayed for Gods help many times during a day. SO, call crisis ask for help and don't do what I did, PLEASE! Those people know how to help and they don't look down on you. Thearpy has continued to help me travel this journey fo major depresssion. I keep telling myself I can do anything I put my mind to with Gods help. If you get a chance to hear Peter Fiegal speak on mental illness/MS, he is awesome. Remember everyone with a mental illness is in this huge club

  - Sandy

• April 28, 2011 12:07 p.m.

  I am so tired and withdrawn. I am on antidepressants and some days or even weeks go pretty well but lately its been pretty bad. I was abused in a lot of ways when I was younger and can't seem to get over it. I have a wonderful fiance but he doesn't seem to understand and it's hard because I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not doing what I should.

  - No name given

• April 22, 2011 5:00 p.m.

  I have 8 of the 10 symptoms, excluding thoughts of suicide and indecisiveness although perhaps others would disagree with the latter. Lexapro and now Pristique is the medication I am on. Augmented with Welbutrin. I dropped the Welbutrin and was hoping to get some feedback on what the Welbutrin SHOULD do. I can't tell if it helped or not. I still sleep way too much. My mood swings wildly. I begin crying for a period then am optimistic minutes later? Guilt never subsides, but I believe it is warranted. Anyone? I would appreciate any feedback. Thank you.

  - Alfred

• April 19, 2011 6:38 a.m.

  My husband has been depressed and it is getting worse. His Dr. wants to do Shock Therapy because she says she has tried all the medications and he is not better. He can perform daily tasks if I am involved but cannot do anything on his own. Has anyone had experience with Shock Therapy?

  - Mary

• April 13, 2011 2:37 a.m.

  Hi Susan, I just did posts to Gayle, but I think we are all in the same boat and they might help you too. I'm so sorry for all your losses and hardships! It takes time to get over a pet's passing, but perhaps you might find adopting another from the local shelter will help you and a lovely little cat who needs your tender love. :)

  - Mich

• April 13, 2011 2:31 a.m.

  PS: Gayle, I ran out of space! Exercise has helped me too! With regard to your trauma, of course I am not an expert, but had similar things in my past. My therapist mentioned how important forgiveness is. I thought I'd forgiven everyone, but that got me thinking more deeply about it. Sometimes I've heard that depression is anger turned inward. I would be furious -- absolutely furious doesn't even capture it -- if I'd been through what you have. I'm not an expert, but maybe thinking hard and really forgiving the people who have hurt you -- your likely-well-meaning mother included -- might make a really positive impact. I'm not suggesting that you are unforgiving or vengeful, you understand. Anyway, I look forward to seeing how you are doing via future posts. Will keep you in my prayers! Best wishes! :D

  - Mich

• April 13, 2011 2:24 a.m.

  Hi Gayle, I am so sorry for what you have been through! You really have been through a lot of trauma. You are a survivor, and I am really proud that you have made it through these 3 years and can even mention your trauma. Your mother clearly loves you, but she also does not know what to say to help. She's just not equiped and, without meaning to cause any harm, seems to make things harder. I have had similar challenges, and things have improved! I understand about making plans and not wanting to follow through -- yup, that's me! I have noticed that once I go, it's really helpful -- I'm less depressed, happier, and less anxious. I make a point of getting together with thoughtful, supportive friends, which is key! Do you have some true friends, even if they are from years ago, you could talk to a little and get together with? Sometimes email exchanges are great too, they help with feeling less alone and more supported. I also find going to church helpful. I'm not sure why you feel so sad when you go there, but sometimes I find my sadness also comes out at church. I get teary too. I think it's because of the honesty -- like I'm surrounded by love and truth, and the truth is that I'm sad . . . and can feel unlovable. BUT, God does love us so very, very much. Pray, just put yourself in the presence of God, your loving Father, and pour out your heart. He is listening and holding you, Gayle. I've been seeing a great Christian therapist for about 6 wks- v helpful!

  - Mich

• April 9, 2011 3:43 p.m.

  Looking back, I think I must have always been depressed. I haven't always been withdrawn, though. I'd do things for a laugh. I've been known as the life of the party. In latter years I have had panic attacks, hyperventilating. So embarrassing! You dont feel it coming, it just does. My mother (70"s) tells me to snap out of it (I'm 50"s). She still treats me like a child. Matters worse, I was kidnapped in a parking lot, driven to a deserted place...yes, what every woman dreads happened. I can't call it what it was, I phrase it differently every time I talk about it. Well, guess what? My own mother tells me, "well, you shouldn't go out looking like that". Gosh, I had been to the grocery store, I had on jeans, Ralph Lauren boots, a sweater up to my neck and a leather jacket. They were tasteful lady-like articles of clothing. No one understands. Mom says, well, I think you are about over it by now, dont you"? This happened 3 yrs ago and I will never be the same. I make plans to see friends and when it comes time to go, I'm sorry I planned it. I have to make myself go. I stopped going to church because for some unknown reason all I want to do is cry when I go into the sanctuary. I can't deal with it by Snapping out of it. I can't Get over it. I'm not Selfish. I Do count my blessings. And, no, I'm not depressed ABOUT something...Of course all those statements came before the "incident". I still get them, though. I'm on ant

  - Gayle

• April 8, 2011 1:33 p.m.

  I know how bruce feels, so well. My life sucks, I am so alone.I am wondering why I am still here. My kids are grown and on their own. 2 of my kids don't want to be around me. My oldest does love me and cares about me but I can't add any more to his troubles. My husband left me with the 3 kids to raise, over 20 years ago. so I have only myself and that is not enough to keep me here. I keep asking God to take me, I have nothing to live for or any reason to be here that I can see. I don't think I would take my own life but I have nothing to live for. i still have a job but hate the ****** I work under. They have tried to fire me several times but so far they just make my job life horrible. I get sick all the time and forget to take my meds. I had to put my cat down she was so sick. Why doesn't God put me out of my misery too?

  - susan

• April 6, 2011 5:27 p.m.

  ***Linda- I am a new mommy too- i have a 2.5 month old little girl... i've been depressed/anxious pretty much my whole life- after baby post partum depression set in very badly.. i couldnt take her crying and thought i was the worst mother ever- but now on meds and trying to heal- there is no other time than now to get help.. i don't want to pass this on to my daughter--- its good that you are writing.. that is very helpful- you are not alone.. you are a good mommy...if you weren't.. you wouldn't even care to write in... you are doing a good job and you will get thru this .... jessica ***Denise.. thank you for all of your kind words...i have read many self help books and also explored the natural route... have you ever considered seeing a naturalpathic dr??

  - Jess

• April 5, 2011 10:33 p.m.

  dear linda u r not a loser !! your baby is glad 2 have a mother like u that is aware of the fact that something is wrong, drinking is not a solution & the people that r telling u that it's just a bad day, r probably not right, i'm not a professional, but have u been ckd. out 2 c if you may have post-partum depression, in case u don't know what this is, it's a depression that happens to some women after they've had a baby, u may want to c a psych. dr., to c if this is what it is, they will probably be the ones 2 help u the most, to get someone call the local medical dept. in your area or call an area hospital & they can refer u 2 someone, but u should go soon, they can help u with meds. usually, they'll know the best thing to do, good luck 2 u, don't give up & keep writing, if it helps

  - denise

• April 5, 2011 7:33 p.m.

  Bruce, you probably just have a chemical imbalance. Don't try to over analized if you did something wrong -- we all do things that are wrong, be sorry and move on. Your family, however, will NOT understand if you end it. Your children will be EXTREMELY scarred for life, and it will impact their children too. Help is available, and you need to fight to get well. You owe that to your wife and children and to yourself.

  - No name given

• April 4, 2011 1:38 p.m.

  Why is this happening to me? What did I do so wrong in my life to make this happen. Hope that my family can maybe understand that out was not them but me. I am the one that failed them. I am the one that couldn't handle it. Everything I have done was to make their life easier and better than what I ever had. I hope that they can forgive me and realize that.

  - Bruce