Depression (major depression)

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• September 27, 2011 5:22 p.m.

  well kam & everyone else: looks like we have some new members-welcome, well i've had the best day that i've had in ages (left the house) that's a big deal right there, but i actually walked for about 1/2 of a mile!!! the dr. put me on viibryd it's very new (only out a few mos.) i don't know if that's the cause i'm only on day 4, people have said it works fast for some of them i'm crossing my fingers & praying alot 2, kam how is your hand doing i hope it's healing well for u, kam i hope ur doing ok, my thoughts r with u, missing annette hope she's enjoying her vacation!!

  - denise

• September 23, 2011 9:25 p.m.

  Peggy, Thank you so much for the kind words . I have a wonderful therapist. See her once a week .I learned a long time ago to take one day at a time ,,sometimes when things are very bad one minute a time.The meds seem to be a better combo now .Tomorrow will be a better day !!! Take care !

  - kam

• September 23, 2011 1:18 a.m.

  Lee,I understand some of what you feel.I have lost 2 wonderful husbands,one to cancer and the other died in his sleep.I also know when you can't let yourself share your hurting.I wish I could give you a good answer,but I can't.I do believe if you need a dr to give you meds,then check with a good dr.Also I have found a good therapist can help so much.It may be difficult for you to talk with family or friends about how you feel,and I find my therapist is easy to share my feelings.Please don't give up!God bless

  - Peggy

• September 22, 2011 8:21 p.m.

  I am so tired of pretending that everything is wonderful and I am terrific. I have been doing this for 59 and a half months. I am worn out. My expectation and everyone else's is that I am such a strong person and can handle Anything that comes my way. Well, I can't! My husband died almost 5 years ago and to me it was yesterday . I have tried everything...traveling to wonderful locations around the world, visiting friends, being there whenever someone needs an ear, moving to a different city - if only temporarily- to visiting museums, to seeing shows, to taking classes and sometimes the effort is so great that I just want to stop and say mo more but than I wouldn't live up to my expectation of me and would disappoint so many people. What do you o when nothing has meaning and you are too afraid and embarrassed to say it out old?

  - Lee

• September 22, 2011 6:09 p.m.

  Kam,hang in there,somedays I can get out of the house easier than others. Believe me xanax helps me a lot.I believe that my faith helps,but I want to believe I'll be ok and be around to see my daughter and grandchildren and their children do great things in life. Yes at times I don't believe it will ever be better,but I know I must keep looking for the right meds.Hope things go well for you. God bless!

  - Peggy

• September 22, 2011 5:59 p.m.

  Oh Denise,I am so sorry that you misunderstood what i was saying. I guess i was asking that,because you began to wonder about yourself.I also just think family and people look at you that way.I'm just going through a lot of questions about my depression at this time. I'm just not able to see my dr as much as I need to.For the depression I've had the past several months is a little different than I've had in the past.This is really the first time that I've not wanted to do anything at all and sleep so much.I again am truly sorry,because I know we can be support for each other. God bless!

  - Peggy

• September 21, 2011 10:13 p.m.

  Lydia,,Well said

  - kam

• September 21, 2011 4:45 p.m.

  If your anti-depression medications don't seem to be working depending on your dose your doctor should consider increasing the dose. I take twice the normal dose of two different medications.Be persistent until they listen to you. I can't say enough for having a good therapist, makes all the difference some days especially in a crisis before symptoms were under control. It is possibly to get them under control but usually requires a good psychiatrist and therapist that work with you and listen to you.

  - Lydia

• September 16, 2011 8:50 a.m.

  Dear Denise ,It is wonderful to hear you are feeling a little bit better .We do learn to take what we can get dont we .Im so glad you liked the 3 Musketeers .Most people that hear I have PTSD dont want to have much to do with me .PTSD is a very misunderstood mental illness.Cant thank you and Annette enough for not judging me .Just having someone to listen is so nice .It really means a lot to me . It took me a long time to get the meds right for my thyroid .Once I did really did make a big difference . Have had carpel tunnel and a ganglion cyst in both hands for a very long time . Got sick of the pain and finally had the right one done .Will get the left one done when I feel the right one is totally healed .That can take a while .I try to Think positive ! Please keep in touch .Look forward to hear how you are feeling . Take care

  - kam

• September 16, 2011 8:06 a.m.

  Dear Peggy WOW!!! I know we havent chatted before .I have PTSD and all the things that go along with it . To be able to read that some one that suffers from depression is able to get out and do something they enjoy is so wonderfull . You make me feel like there is hope for me ! thank you . Hope you right soon to let us know how you are doing .

  - kam

• September 15, 2011 10:40 p.m.

  dear peggy: just read your post from sept. 10th & i found it "very confusing", it sounds like you're asking us "if we're just lazy" & that we just "want to sit & sleep"?? this sounds like something someone would say that hasn't gone thru this illness of depression & it is an illness, maybe i read it wrong or took it wrong, but i feel kind of offended that you would think that we're doing this on purpose & don't have a choice in how we act or how we feel, i'm hoping that i got the wrong impression on your writing, because i don't choose to sit & sleep & i surely don't choose to be depressed, please write back & i hope that you tell me that i got the wrong impression & misunderstood what you said???

  - denise

• September 15, 2011 10:21 p.m.

  dear kam: thank you for reminding me "to take one day @ a time" sometimes things can even change from a "lousy" morning 2 a good nite-that's what happened to me today-yeah!!! i'm glad ur hand is doing better & that you're getting therapy on it, "the 3 musketeers" i like that-lol, that's what we'll always b!! what happened to your hand that you have 2 have both done?? sounds like your meds. r doing ok, but we won't say that out loud!! the thyroid med. was making me sweat alot, so doc told me 2 stop taking it, supposably that is supposed to be a sign that your thyroid levels r ok & u don't need the meds., i stopped it & no more sweats!! docs giving me dexedrine-a stimulant-to get me motivated, doing blood work for the lamictal, i personally think it's 2 high (300mg.), the blood work will tell, well wish u well with everything that's going on with you & you're in my thoughts, hang in there!!!! write when you can

  - denise

• September 15, 2011 10:10 p.m.

  Dr putting me back on zoloft,and may continue with present meds also.My dr has a very ill wife,so he isn't able to spend as much time with his patients as I would like, but his family comes first.At least I can get out of the house some now. I even went to church last sunday. God bless to all!

  - Peggy

• September 15, 2011 10:05 p.m.

  My dear Pat,please seek the help that Denise was speaking of.But know many of us have had these same feelings at different times.I pray that God will send you the help you need now!

  - Peggy

• September 15, 2011 9:32 p.m.

  dear annette: i'm soooo glad that you are well enough 2 go on a vacation to israel, hope you will enjoy yourself!!!! i will miss u very much!! thank you again for the kind thoughts & words-they mean so much to me!!! please have a wonderful time-u deserve it!!!! you will b in my prayers every nite (as always) have a safe trip & will talk 2 u when you get back home!!!

  - denise

• September 15, 2011 8:51 p.m.

  dear pat: i don't know how to help you, but you may want to call the suicide hot-line phone no. listed above, i'm sorry i can't help you & i hope they can, don't give up hope

  - denise

• September 15, 2011 10:16 a.m.

  Web of Sadness The sadness that I feel is so ingrained in my very being. Sadness is stuck to my mind, heart and soul. It is like a giant spider web entwined into very inch of space from my mind down to the souls of my feet. It weaves its way through my thoughts and chokes off my air supply. I feel it wrapping around my throat choking off my screams for help. My will to survive is running in circles trying not to get caught in the web of sadness that has invaded me. I feel my life being sucked out of me. I am bloating with helplessness, pain, and loneliness. I am sad because I am so sad and I can’t cut my way out of this web of sadness. The web has almost completely covered my heart, I feel it squeezing it tighter and tighter soon it will pop and the darkness will envelop me totally and I will be no more. I will be an empty vessel living in darkness and sadness for eternity. It’s so cold now, so dark, so empty, so silent, so lonely, and so dead.

  - Pat

• September 11, 2011 1:31 p.m.

  Dear Annette , Hand is doing better .Started therapy on it . So hope you are feeling better soon . Ihave learned to take one day at a time ,,but doesnt always make life easier .Will miss talking to you .Take care .You are always in my thoughts .The Three Muskateers! Annette,, Denise,, and Kam . See made you smile ! Best wishes!! Always a comfort to talk to someone who understands . Thank you for listening

  - kam

• September 11, 2011 11:54 a.m.

  Dear Kam. How are you? glad to hear your hand is ok and you`re meds are working. Am doing a little bit better now, still having some bad days. hope effexor will fully help me. am going to Israel coming Friday with my hubby for 2 weeks, so you wont hear me from then on. Take care. you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Talk to you when I come back.

  - Annette

• September 11, 2011 11:44 a.m.

  Dear Denise, so sorry to hear that your meds are still not working good on you. I know how frustrating it is, but as always what you said to all of us here "Hang in there there is hope".I always put that in my mind. Am little bit ok now some days are better than other days still struggling. Am taking Effexor 75 mg. hoping that someday will have that CYP450 test in my country, it will a great help for all depression sufferers here I hope. coming Friday I`ll be leaving with my husband for 2 weeks to Israel. so you wont hear from me then on. I pray that you will soon find the right meds for you. Pls take care of yourself. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. thanks for talking to me and your advices. means a lot to me.

  - Annette

• September 10, 2011 6:08 p.m.

  Haven't posted or read lately.I was trying new meds that didn't work and then coming off.I'm feeling some better.I see each one of you are still here and doing the best you can.I just want to ask some of you,do ever feel that maybe your depression is just because your sad about life,oryour just lazy and only want to sit or sleep? I just hate the thought of getting dressed to get out for any reason,but I just have to sometimes for things that have to be done.I will see my dr next week,they called and said they would have to change my app.until the last of the month.I just went crazy and told them I'm not seeing the dr for fun,so they worked me in.I just don't have any hope of feeling better.God bless to all of you!

  - Peggy

• September 7, 2011 7:49 a.m.

  dear denise ,, My heart goes out to you . It is so frustrating to try all these meds that we are told are going to help us and all they do is make you sick .Im not going to get to excited that the meds are working right now .We all know with depression , anxiety ., PTSD tomorrow everything can change .I take one day at a time and am happy with that .My list of meds gets longer everyday . Lexapro,,Lamotringine.,Levothyroxine ( for thyroid ),,Clonazapam,,Prylosec.Always having blood work done . Have been in a cast for 3 weeks ,This is the second one .They will take this one off this week so I can start therapy on it .Will still be in a splint for several weeks .Will get the other had done as soon as they are sure the right one is going to be fine. Really hasnt been to bad . Have learned to do a lot for my self with one hand ! I so hope they find the right meds for you .Hang in there .Write when you can .

  - kam

• September 6, 2011 11:19 p.m.

  dear carol: how r u doing?? haven't heard from u, any luck finding another medicine?? does ur dr. do the CYP450 blood test?? write back if you want to

  - denise

• September 6, 2011 11:15 p.m.

  dear kam: like i told annette meds. aren't working (surprise-surprise)!! seeing the dr. on wed.-hope he'll change them?? i sure am glad that they got your combo right-yeah!! r u still taking the lamictal?? make sure u get those blood levels cked., so u know if you're @ the right dosage?? (just a reminder) how long will u be in the cast?? nice that the stitches r out!! you'll always be in my thoughts too!! ttyl write back when you can

  - denise

• September 6, 2011 11:06 p.m.

  dear annette: my meds. 4 energy aren't working, instead of giving me energy they're doing nothing or putting me 2 sleep!! i even took 3 of them-no difference-just a little jittery!! seeing him tomorrow, so i'm gonna ask him 4 dextroamphetamine, it's in another class of stimulants other than ritalin, i think the lamictal is starting to work-it's hard to tell?? other than that still not doing too much of anything-just sleeping alot still, u don't sound like ur doing to good-i'm sorry the CYP450 test is not avail. in ur area, what med. r u starting on @ 75 mg.-i forgot-sorry?? sorry ur having such an awful time, r all those things caused by the med.?? ask ur dr. about "deplin" it's a folate food supplement that has to be pres. by a dr., but it is helping alot of people with depression, i'm sorry i keep forgetting to tell u guys-sorry, i'm glad i have u to talk to, your in my thoughts & prayers (as always) talk to you soon

  - denise