- With Mayo Clinic health education outreach coordinator
Angela Lunde
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Angela Lunde
Angela Lunde is a dementia education specialist in the education core of Mayo Clinic's Alzheimer's Disease Research Center at the Abigail Van Buren Alzheimer's Disease Research Clinic in Rochester, Minn.
Angela Lunde
The transfer of information about dementias, as well as understanding the need for participation in clinical trials, is an essential component of the education core.
Angela is a member of the Alzheimer's Association board of directors and co-chair of the annual Minnesota Dementia Conference. She is a member of the Dementia Behavior Assessment and Response Team (D-BART), a multidisciplinary outreach service assisting professional and family caregivers in understanding and managing difficult behaviors often present in dementia. She facilitates several support groups, including Memory Club, an early-stage education and support series, and more recently, helped to develop and now deliver Healthy Action to Benefit Independence and Thinking (HABIT), a 10-day cognitive rehab and wellness program for people with mild cognitive impairment.
Angela takes a personal interest in understanding the complex changes that take place within relationships and among families when dementia is present. She is particularly interested in providing innovative and accessible ways for people with dementia and their families to receive information and participate in valuable programs that promote well-being.
"Amid a devastating disease, there are tools, therapies, programs and ways to cope, and it is vital that families are connected to these resources," she says.
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Alzheimer's blog
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May 14, 2008
Dementia journey affects family relationships
By Angela Lunde
In several care partner support groups these past couple of weeks, the conversation has turned to the topic of relationships. More specifically, the changes that occur within roles and relationships when someone in the family has dementia.
I was asked if sibling relationships suffer when a parent has dementia. Often, siblings have varying opinions about how to deal with decisions they are faced with at the present time, as well as those down the road. Furthermore, each member of the family is experiencing grief and loss over the situation in their own way and in their own time.
Some members of the family may feel anger or resentment, some may cope by seeking out information and support, while others can remain in a place of avoidance or denial for some time. There can be family conflict and less cohesiveness. Yet, sometimes on this journey families come to a place where they say the disease has brought them closer than ever. I am wondering what your experiences are?
53 comments posted
May 16, 2008 6:09 p.m.
Our family has had a hard time with relationships and what role each child should play in the care of a parent with dementia. We have had some siblings feel they should avoid contact with, and association with, both the surviving spouse and with other siblings. Each of them are dealing with the loss of a parent in their own way. Usually when a decision has been made in the care or medication each sibling would have acted differently. It has been hard to keep lines of communication open, as everyone is in some state of mourning. Tempers flare, and feelings are easily hurt. It is hard for some to understand how the surviving spouse feels, and that they are in need of family support now, more than ever. Hopefully this trial will bring us closer, but in the meantime it is driving everyone apart.
- matt
May 15, 2008 8:53 p.m.
I wish that I could say that my mother's dementia was bringing our family closer together, but I find that her parents have been in denial about the changes occuring in my mother for so long that they are unwilling to accept that she has this disease. Instead, they constantly tell her she is talking and acting crazy. My mother is reacting to this by being paranoid that she will be locked away in a "psych ward" or that her parents are out to get her. It is also difficult to for other family members to understand that her paranoid rantings and angry outbursts may not be reality, but they are real to her when they occur. It is difficult for them to accept that she is a person who needs love, understanding and forgiveness for the things she might say or do. They also seem to think that since I am a medical professional, that I or my colleagues will find a quick cure, be able to provide constant care and supervision and financial support while my mother has no insurance and no assets of her own. It is also very difficult for my spouse and his family to be patient and understanding now that my mother has come to live with us. I hope that in time, we will come together as a family as the turmoil distresses my mother even more.
- tracy
May 14, 2008 1:08 p.m.
Our mother has dementia and currently our father is taking care of her in their home. I am one of eight children. Some of my siblings live in the same city as my parents and the rest of us live within a day's drive of "home". We all do what we can to help and wish we could do more. Some of us help with financial decisions, Medicare Part D, etc. Others help with home repairs, tending the garden and lawn, etc. One sister accompanies our mother to doctor appointments. Some of us still have children at home and in school and cannot get away to help our parents as much as we would like. It would be easy to rely too much on the siblings who live in our hometown -- but they do not want to shoulder more than their share of the burden just because they live nearby. This is understandable....and so we do what we can to help our father and mother while not keeping tabs on who's doing what or who's not doing their share. So far we have managed to keep peace in the family, but sometimes it is difficult. We all have hobbies and interests that we enjoy more than spending time with a mother who may or may not know who we are and who can no longer carry on a conversation. It is very stressful for all of us, but we know that it is even more stressful for our father as he has to live this life 24/7 and we are there for only hours or days at a time. We have to remember that our mother is the one who is ill, but it is our father who most needs the respite, conversation and support.
- Lydia
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53 comments posted