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With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.
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May 15, 2008 10:15 a.m.
Coping with roadblocks reduces stress
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By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

As my colleagues and I ponder some of the thoughts on our blog, we are overwhelmed at the tapestry of resilience and tenacity in the face of some of life's unfairness.

A question that often arises in medical circles is whether or not resiliency and the ability to bounce back from adversity are genetic. In other words, is it "set" by our DNA or our basic biology? To some extent this might be true, but innovative studies do document that to some extent our attitude can modify how we respond to a stressor.

For example, the opportunity recently arose to speak in another city at a medical meeting. Multiple flights were delayed and it was interesting to see the reaction of travelers. Some were despondent, literally slumped to the floor at the thought of missing a family reunion, and others became belligerent and angry. Yet, there were some who simply accepted the news with poise and dignity and were prepared for the inevitable frustrations.

Some of these individuals had books with them, or knitting, and others had laptops and were fully prepared to take advantage of these hours which they had not expected. Their attitude created a reality which went something like this, "OK, this is not a good deal, I would not have wished it this way, but the way it is is the way it is. So, how can I make the most out of this inconvenience?" These are the folks who somehow survive, who decrease the risk of an ulcer or a heart attack, and face the future with creative optimism.

Yes, to some extent there is a "set point" for resiliency but we can each learn creative coping skills — as we are hearing in our blogs every day.

For those of us who continue to learn, what one or two tactics have others used to keep moving forward in the face of one roadblock after another?

10 comments posted
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May 22, 2008 11:22 a.m.
Dear Melinda M.: Your insights and comments are right on the money. Yes, we can make choices and attitude impacts on how we handle adversity. All the best....
- Dr. Ed
May 21, 2008 4:30 p.m.
This is a topic that is of interest to me. Just recently, I have had a difficult time with life stressors recently,and realize I don't react with resiliency.Instead it takes its toll on me. I think about how I can better "weather" stress when it occurs. That is a goal I have, so that stress does not take its toll on me. I have bipolar illness so it's crucial for me.My next step is to educate myself on how I can learn to approach stress in my life. I was so caught up in the stress that I have experienced lately. Once it took hold, I could not seem to rid myself of the negative effects it was having on me. The stress I have had in my life has been ongoing for awhile.I can't afford to not know how to manage stress.
- LeeAnn Hazelrigg
May 21, 2008 1:46 p.m.
This good discussion brings two books to mind: "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, and "Freedom and Destiny" by Rollo May. Frankl talks about how the attitudes of people in Nazi concentration camps determined whether they were crushed by the experience or were able to sustain hope and survive. May defines destiny as the circumstances we're given (when and where we're born and to whom, the experiences life gives us, plus the nature of our selves), and he defines our freedom as the choices we make in the face of what we've been given. Temperament is partly genetic and plays a role in our capacity for resiliency, but habits of being and thinking that are learned from our families and culture can be changed when they are found to be self-defeating. The words in our minds have a great influence on how we feel every day, and it is possible to make choices about how we think.
- Melinda M.
May 21, 2008 9:13 a.m.
Like Karlotta, I, too, play mental games which seem to help my state of mind. For almost a decade now, someone has been gaining entry into my home when im away and damage my personal belongings/property. Often I have cried/ called out to God for help to no avail. Yes, i sought help with the authorities but nothing happened. Well, it is when I am at my lowest point when i think of all the suffering in the world- millions of people affected by famine, natural disasters or just a despots, and I gain strength to go on with my life and not give up.
- ali
May 20, 2008 7:43 p.m.
I have a simple method when I'm stressed over something. When I see myself getting upset at things I can't control, I play a mental game of "how much worse could it be?" Once I've made a few points with the game, most of the time I'm back to not sweating the small stuff. For example: I have a chronic disease that really limits me sometimes, and I get frustrated. But it could be cancer, it could be contagious, it could be disfiguring, and it could be progressive, but it's not any of those things. Another example: I'm stuck at the doctor's office. I could have nothing to read, I could be in pain while I'm waiting, or I could be waiting for test results that nobody would want to hear. This method may sound very pollyanna'ish, but it actually puts annoying things back into perspective.
- Karlotta
May 20, 2008 7:35 p.m.
For many years, I worked to improve my attitude, and it was very helpful. I had a lot of destructive thinking habits, and needed to change them. However, I was still quite anxious and uncomfortable with unexpected events. It was only 10 years ago that I tried anti-depressants, and my goodness, WHAT a difference it made for me! I firmly believe that my brain just worked DIFFERENTLY. I realized I didn't have to suffer all the time from anxiety and frustration. I don't mean to suggest it is the answer for everyone, but I do feel annoyed at times with those who suggest a change of attitude is all I need to cope with life. Bogus.
- NJ
May 20, 2008 6:05 p.m.
May 20, 2008 I see a therapist, because she is the only person that I can really tell the truth to of how I am feeling. And I can cry if I need to. I have no one else that I can do this with. So my therapist means a lot to me. I have no mother & my dad died 4 years ago. My husband can't handle it when I'm upset and need to cry. So that leave me with no one. Some people may have family that can handle the down times a depressed person has. And let's them cry. I beleive crying things out is very important. Some times I go in the clothes closet and kneel down and cry to the Lord and pray to him. I know God is there to help me, but that moment I need someone special. And God always takes care of it in time, but I guess I get in a hurry and want it done right now. But I have learned one thing. You have to be very careful who you pick as a therapist, because I have had some that make you worse.
- Dona
May 20, 2008 5:13 p.m.
What does Faith and Fate have to do with resilience and acceptance? Does "What will be will be," explain either? How about the Rhett Butler attitude: "Frankly, m'dear, I don't give a damn." Is our fate in our genes? Is having faith in yourself the same as being a "control freak?" The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know.
- Roberta S.
May 17, 2008 11:01 p.m.
I just had this conversation with my neice who is 17...the only people we can control is ourselves.
- nancy
May 16, 2008 11:34 p.m.
I fully agree with you. The only thing we can control in life is our attitudes towards what's happening to us. I have always wondered whether the success of any therapy depends more on the therapy itself, or the patient's belief that a therapy works. Just like stress, people's attitudes towards therapies differ from one to another. But often we see people who truly believe in their treatment are always the ones that will benefit the most. :D
- medicalresource.wordpress.com
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