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• March 17, 2010 4:50 p.m.

  I agree with the article, happiness mostly in how you perceive your environment. I consider myself a reformed depressed person, that is now mostly happy. One trick that I learned is to try to make a "gratitude list" every day (list of all good things), and try to make it as long as possible, especially when you are feeling down. The more you focus on what you want but dont have the worse you will feel, better to focus on what you do have thats good. A seond trick I learned is to get out of yourself by helping others. It sounds silly, but doing acts of charity really make you feel good and they get you out of your own head and self-centeredness. I notice the more self-obsessed I am the more miserable I am usually. My final comment is to take care of yourself, to allow yourself to splurge once in a while, to not be your own worst critic. There is a saying people often overvalue what they don't have and undervalue what they do have.

  - Lolita

• September 23, 2009 6:34 p.m.

  Happines is a "tricky" thing. It´s hard to attain and even when we achieve it we often don´t know of it. I keep comparing myself to others. But not all of those comparisons make me feel like a "loser". That´s wierd.

  - Fred

• February 16, 2009 1:37 p.m.

  Hi Dan: Sorry for delay. The book: "The How of Happiness,'' by Sonja Lyubomirsky. Bottom line for me: OK, bad things do happen, we get passed over for promotion, relationships unravel. But our happiness depends on how we react to these events and not the event itself. Be interested in your "take" on this concept which I have found to be very freeing. Peace.

  - Dr. Ed

• February 10, 2009 7:37 p.m.

  Please share the book citation please!

  - Dan

• December 8, 2008 6:31 p.m.

  Thanks for the content of this blog. Such themes help indeed daily people's live. In my case, it helps me to follow healthy habits, such as regular and qualitative contact with family and friends and take care of one self in the sense of having regular exercise, sleep regularly 7-8 hours, eat properly and balanced, have fun! (don't become workaholic), etc. Regarding setbacks in life, it helps to accept a setback not as a negative situation but a moment to think about the reasons the setback arrived (if they exist), learn from it, correct behaviours or actions, improve and become stronger to wake up the following day with happiness and energy renovated. Moments for self-meditation (whatever the technique used) helps as well. Love and be loved, of course is very important to be happy, recommended and healthy.

  - Antonio

• August 14, 2008 12:02 p.m.

  Excellent blog and an excellent topic! My whole life as a teen consisted of listening to negative types of music, hanging out with negative people, and always being a negative individual. Somewhere down the line, I felt it had to change. Some of the people I knew when I was young changed and became happy people. Others stayed the same and nothing changed for them. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we need to change our situations to bring happiness. If your job makes you unhappy, look for another job or do something like start your own business. If you're unhappy with certain things in your life, consider changing them if you're able to change them. When I was a kid, I asked somebody how does one become happy. He told me to fake it until I make it. That's what I did until I got it right. I also rid of negative people around me, found hobbies, started a business, began meditating, exercising, etc. This is how I found happiness and this is what I would recommend to somebody if they asked me how I did it.

  - David James

• August 6, 2008 6:09 p.m.

  The question "are you happy?" seems rather simplistic to me. Emotions fluctuate constantly. If "happiness"= an overall state of contentment and acceptance, one could be "happy" when in a state of grief which doesn't make sense. Another thing that annoys me about the whole question is it implies that an individual has a conscious choice. What of someone with posttraumatic stress syndrome and generalized anxiety disorder, for instance? I believe that someone who is in a constant state of suffering or anxiety can be happy...but not in the facile sense that is generally meant. Honestly, I don't worry whether I am "happy" or not. I try to find joy in each day, and I am constantly searching for meaning and that sense of "connection" with others . . .but that is different than searching for "happiness."

  - Lisa

• August 5, 2008 6:28 p.m.

  I am happy because I choose to be. There have been many tragedies in my life but I realize that each day is important and each day we wake up is a new day full of adventures. I try to laugh a lot, compliment someone sincerely, give thanks for a kind deed during the day and also give thanks to my Creator. I am thankful for my sons and their happiness and for the love of my family and my love for them. We are here such a short time in this realm and we owe it to ourselves to be happy. You can be unhealthy in body through no fault of your own but your spirit's health and happiness is up to you. I work at the post office and on my way to work each morning I see a homeless man I have dubbed "Mr. Skinny legs." he is quite happy in his world talking to the bushes and whatever else he sees along his path and if he can be happy so can I.

  - mw black

• July 27, 2008 11:49 p.m.

  Note about my previous post: I meant to say the least happy people I know are very hard on themselves. Ooops!

  - Lawrence W.

• July 27, 2008 11:47 p.m.

  The happiest people I know are very hard on themselves, often frustrated perfectionists and/or procrastinators, who retreat into feelings of guilt, shame and failure, surrounded by things and unfinished projects and unattained goals. And so it seems the enemies of happiness are abject ambition, materialism, self-absorption, and unsocial or antisocial attitudes. The happy are accepting, modestly ambitious, aware and social, generally engaged in life without being fanatical, obsessive, compulsive or particularly materialistic. The happy are notably attentive and exhibit personal virtues such as patience, generosity and gratitude. And they're pleasant company.

  - Lawrence W.

• July 27, 2008 8:02 p.m.

  Along with every life changing event -- whether major or minor -- it helps me to change my perception of what makes me happy by thinking "What CAN I do in this adverse situation/circumstance?" I am an on-the-go person, and when I broke my kneecap and felt absolutely frozen in one spot (which I was), I remember my initial thoughts were of sheer panic "What am I gonna do -- I don't know how to live like this! " But after torturing myself & everyone else in my family, I gave up & stopped to think about what some of the things were that I had wished I could do if only I had time, and now I had the time. One of them was to go back to reading again and to listen to some of my old music, etc. My perspective changed completely, despite the aggravation of not being able to move about much at all; I allowed myself to just be still. So to sum it up, I feel that many times throughout our entire lives, happiness can be RE-defined, over & over, rather than making it something to be SEARCHED for as a one-time answer. Happiness is probably already there in some form -- maybe we just can't always recognize it right away. Be still, be quiet, allow something to flow into you. It is not always easy, but it is possible.

  - Suzanne

• July 26, 2008 7:51 p.m.

  I am a generally happy person. I find that just by smiling at everyone I see everyday and remembering we are only as happy as we make ourself. Don't take everything so serious. What ever you do it isn't as bad or compicated as Brain surgery. Also there is always someone worse off than you. If you always believe that then things aren't so bad. Also just knowing that you are alive when you wake up breathing on your own each day gives me a great feeling becouse the altenative is to not wake up at all.

  - Marge Slobodzian

• July 26, 2008 10:59 a.m.

  I agree with JM's comment.Its allwell and good to say our attitude determines our happiness, but when your life is crumbling, that doesn't work. I must have been born with bad genes because, no matter how much I try to rise above circumstances and, even though I have a good value system, I feel unhappy a lot of the time....due to certain circumstances.

  - Vivian

• July 25, 2008 12:04 p.m.

  I am 62 years old and have been searching for happiness all my adult life. When I reached late midlife I finally decided to relax and quit looking so hard and it came to me on its own. I have been happy ever since.

  - carol

• July 25, 2008 2:30 a.m.

  Everyone needs to know how to do something that provides happiness for himself. It can be gardening, music, or doing something thoughtful for another. We need to know how to make ourselves happy.

  - louise

• July 25, 2008 1:44 a.m.

  The great insight from Victor Frankl was that while you can't always choose your circumstances, you have the freedom to choose your attitude. Keeping yourself busy with doing something good or creative is another way of overcoming meaninglessness. If I recall correctly, Frankl tended to a sapling while in the concentration camp, to retain his sanity and hope.

  - Sonja De

• July 24, 2008 11:17 a.m.

  1. For anyone unfamiliar with the story of Viktor Frankl, he was a holocaust survivor who set out to find what traits made helped a person survive under unthinkable adversity. 2. Happiness is not synonymous with euphoria. This is a common confusion. 3. The fairness of life is relative. Is it fair that most of us in the developed world have access to clean drinking water and reasonable nutrition when the vast majority of the earth's population has lived in abject proverty? 4. An ancient philosopher is reputed to have said that a superior means of finding happiness is to cease looking for it.

  - Alan

• July 24, 2008 10:59 a.m.

  Thank you, Dr. Goldstein, for quoting Victor Frankl. His book, "Man's Search for Meaning," was a wonderful life-changing book for me in my own "decision" to be a happy person!

  - Vera

• July 24, 2008 1:15 a.m.

  I like the ancient Brahmin percepts from India: 1. Don't be a slave - to greed, fear and mindlessness. Simplify your life as far as possible, and - Think smart, think different and think positive - all the time! 2. Use your brains and money to do good to others. 3. Be grateful. But don't expect gratitude. 4. Take care of yourself! Yoga is just one way.

  - Sonja De

• July 23, 2008 9:56 p.m.

  Mary, How of Happiness contains a number of chapters covering approaches to increasing your happiness. I'm sure its much less than 600 pages. I thought it seemed to be based on reasonable science/data and the author probably uses the word solid. Its not clear to me whether the reviewer has gone back to the primary research and formed his own opinion its solid or just taken the author's word for it

  - Neil

• July 23, 2008 1:32 p.m.

  As a Psychologist in Los Angeles, the most practical way that I have found to create "choice" in the way we relate to our internal and external environments is through Mindfulness. This is the process of intentionally attending to the present moment without our usual filters of judgment. Victor Frankl had a quote "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." In that space lies our freedom to choose how we want to relate to our environments. This bodes well for not reacting with a habitual attitude, but choosing a new one that will support happiness. But make no mistake, this is a practice...

  - Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.

• July 23, 2008 11:52 a.m.

  Mary, the name of the book is The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. The author is Sonja Lyubomirsky. You can find at Amazon or Barnes and Noble and other bookstores.

  - MayoClinic.com staff

• July 23, 2008 11:39 a.m.

  Your analysis is too simplistic--to say that economics has no effect on happiness is too ridiculous. And to blame it all on genetics without considering the environmental influences doesn't wash either. There has to be a balance between "expecting less from life" philosophy and the narcissism that seems pervasive in today's society. Keeping our perspective, reexamining our value system seems like almost insurmountable goals at times, but one that is worth our efforts. The serenity prayer (similar to that described by Gill Bassett's comment) is a valuable practice. After all, we're only human.

  - JM

• July 23, 2008 10:26 a.m.

  It sounds as if Edward R. is in the low phase of his Biorhythm. Cheer up, Ed, this, too, shall pass. Practice the Gratitude Attitude.

  - Roberta S.

• July 23, 2008 10:20 a.m.

  HAPPINESS is having a long "To Do" list and not being required to do it. Just being content with life as it is may be a good thing, too.

  - Roberta S.