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Having a support system is key to dealing with life's stresses
The Rift Valley is a narrow ribbon of geography consisting of arid, sun-baked, wind-swept plains between 6,000 and 8,000 feet. The valley runs on the east coast of Africa from Tanzania in the south through Uganda and Kenya in the middle and into Ethiopia in the north. This piece of the planet is the home of some of the greatest distance runners in the history of the world. As we have touched on in previous blogs, runners from this part of the globe currently hold more world records and more Olympic medals than any other population in the history of the world.
Because of the tremendous riches associated with athletic talents, this has been one of the most scrutinized groups in the world. Initially, somewhat flippantly, the athletic community attributed their greatness to their genetic endowments and to their training at altitude. However, many other peoples trained at altitude such as in Mexico and South America and not have achieved the running greatness of our East African colleagues. By the same token, human genes change over million of years not simply over several decades, so that theory simply does not hold up.
At a recent scientific symposium a number of experts scientifically, through peer-reviewed information, reviewed the experiences of these runners, and here is the take-home message:
- Elaborate analyses of heart and lung function and oxygen capacity showed no difference in these athletes compared with others.
- Muscle biopsies and sophisticated analysis of energy-producing molecules in muscles do not seem to be consistently different among these athletes. So, what is different about them and what can we in the real community of survivors learn from them? Well, there are some "secrets":
- They train harder and more intensely than any other peoples in the world.
- They have often supported professional coaches who bring scientific training methods into the culture of the East Africans.
- Each runner does not run for the endorsement, the shoe contract, or the advertisement. Each runner clearly has a deep commitment to his/her community, his/her culture, and has an intense connection with the land and the peoples whom they represent.
So, what are the lessons for us? I can see at least two:
- We need to take care of ourselves as did these runners.
- If we are isolated, if we are marginalized, if we are without a support system, we are at a profound disadvantage dealing with life's stresses.
Again, as with other blogs, does this make sense or am I missing some fundamental truth? As always, thank you.
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No doubt, support groups help one to cope with ones feelings of hopelessness, at times. They could go a long way in alleviating loneliness and insecurity, hearing comforting and kind words in ill health can be so mood elevating, sympathy shown by even strangers when you are down and out can be so exhilarating, that it is very tempting to seek the help of support groups. However, at the end of the day, one has to draw from ones own inner resources and strengths, to deal with real life situations on a long term basis, unless one gets into the vicious cycle of regular visits to the psychiatrists, counsellors, etc.Support groups have a limited role to play, beyond which, it is you who have to finally handle your life, your problems, your stresses and your anxieties. It makes sense to seek help from support groups, take advantage of all that they offer by way of help and attain a level of stability after which, it has to be only you, who has to take the lasting steps in your life to remain sane and at peace.
Elderhostel is the answer for pre-retirees. For post-retirees, I recommend, Continuing Care Retirement Communities. We're "all in the same boat" so understand how it feels. Activities keep us busy socializing with one group or another. For the mid-age group, I'd recommend orangizations like religion, fraternities, volunteer groups, etc. There's always a support group somewhere for different ages and interests. Community is the answer.
We all need support, but sometimes those who want to support us cannot offer support in the way that would be most meaningful to us. When I am very stressed or depressed, it is not clear to me just what it is that I want or need -- so how are the ones around me supposed to figure it out? They get tired of guessing; I get tired of meaningless offers. They urge me to "participate" -- and I know I need some of that -- but I also need time and space for taking care of myself. Where is that borderline? Support also implies something mutual...but a very stressed or depressed or ill person doesn't have a lot to offer in return.
I clearly think that I have a slightly different perspective on this "support group". From some of the comments written here, I hear such diverse and intimate pain that I don't think that support groups as loosely described are the ticket to making one's life easier. The problems are all with their own challenges. People and circustances are different. Economical status is important because it may be the way to attain the "support group" needed for that particular person or family. The notion that ones family will suddenly rally around is at best a fairy tale. The woman who is being abused by her mother, who says her family is aware is risking her personal health , why? I think there is a much higher degree of personal survival instict in some of us that indeed is our equalizer. We cannot control others nor should we feel that we are indeed the experts for their needs. The idea that we must see to our personal needs in order to help another is key. We each in our personal lives make choices that may accelerate us to make repairs are it were to the problems we face or indeed invite more disasterous results. Unconsiously, we live our lives. If we just keep repeating our poor me stories we turn away some individuals who could help us. I know that unhappy individuals are not easy to be around and to an unhappy person, an individual who is successfully dealing can just be resented. We don't chose who we are but its up to us to polish our bones.
I agree support systems make all the difference. However, if you are going to be there for someone, see them through to the end. It's difficult not knowing if someone is going to be there or not. I pray I would be a constant for someone. I'm a Christian so I've experienced God's faithful presence, but He did make us social people!
I could not agree more. I have been helping my parents since my early 20's. My mother passed on from metastatic breast cancer and now my father has severe coronary artery disease. I find myself extremely frustrated with governmental agencies in attempting to find the aid my father needs. He can't seem to get an apartment since he doesn't meet minimum income requirements. Having worked his entire life as a factory worker his retirement plan is worth bupkus. Social security is not enough. He has been renting rooms in houses where at any time he can be displaced. When you struggle your entire life to be a good citizen, not dependent on government aide and get to your golden years, things SHOULD be easier. It is extremely frustrating for the elderly and their family members who are trying to assist. My father is quite independent and refuses to live with me. What do you do? The frustration level rises with each situation. My help is prayer, my faith, my family and friends. That being said, it does not mitigate the situation.
I agree with you Dr. I am one of those isolated , or perhaps better said I am between isolated and marginal...I have family, they live 5 hours away...I have fibromyalgia, CFS, migraines etc. this adds to the isolation..I am unable to work, have had to give up friends who did not understand my frequent cancellations and am now pretty much alone..I have coped with this and many life events with my usual Irish..."walk it off" until recently..I have had to ask the GP for a counsellor because I am not Dealing anymore and my stress has not helped my cardiac risks....Torn between staying here for a pesonal reason that leaves me isolated more often then not or moving to be close to my children has become a no brainer...should have been from the beginning but a move is stressful too at this time in my life....again, as you know
your have the answer and now perhaps are looking for the experiences of us
I agree completly. This Country has only one thing on its mind, "Itself." this is a very selfish country everyone is always out for themselevs not for the good of humanity. Which leads to my second point that today's society is money hungry and supports the idea of more more better better. Not be satified with what you are given. We stress because we feel nothing is ever good enough, a person can never be content. I am a high stress person and it's aggitating, why do I live in a society where a million dollars wont even take care of me?
I think you are absolutely correct. I take care of my 88 year old mother on top of having Hep. C and being very weak myself and my family is not supportive at all. It adds stress and anger to my life and I sometimes feel like my last years on earth are going to be spent caring for her all by myself. She has reached a point of being very cruel to me at times and my family just says to ignore her. That is not helpful to me and only makes me feel alone and weaker. Support systems should always be formed to hold each other up and keep everyone happy and/or sad together.
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