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    Lois McGuire, R.N., M.S.N., W.H.N.P.

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  • Safe sex blog

  • Sept. 27, 2008

    Do's and don'ts for reducing risk of STD

    By Lois McGuire, R.N., M.S.N., W.H.N.P.

5 comments posted

Not long ago, I was asked to present an STD lecture to a singles group, ages 45 and older. Anytime I had been asked to speak about this before, it was for adolescents. I was not sure what this group would want to discuss. It quickly became apparent that the singles group needed the same information as our young people. So here are my tips for everyone on keeping sex "safer."

These suggestions are fairly simple to follow:

  • Talk to your partner
  • Get STD screening
  • Immunize
  • Condoms are a must
  • Don't mix sex and alcohol or drugs
  • Be safe in public settings

The first step is to talk to your partner.
If this type of discussion seems too uncomfortable, then you need to consider whether you are ready to have sex with this person. It is OK not to be ready as a person or as a couple to take this step. When you are ready, it is important to ask you partner about his or her sexual history.

Talk to your provider about appropriate testing to screen for STDs.
Did you know that 1 out of 3 people will say they don't have an infection when they know they do? Also, many don't know they have an STD. The smartest way to protect each other is for both of you to get tested.

Immunize for HPV and hepatitis B.
In most industrialized countries, hepatitis B immunizations are mandatory to attend school. Now we have an immunization for HPV. This is a very important way to protect yourself when you consider that 80 percent of women in the United States have had HPV by age 50. (I will write more about the HPV immunization next week).

Don't abuse alcohol or drugs.
Alcohol or drugs can make you forget that you promised yourself to only have safe sex. They interfere with your decision making. Did you know that alcohol actually makes sex less enjoyable for both men and women?

Condoms, condoms, condoms.
I recently gave a lecture at a local high school. Before beginning, I handed out a questionnaire. One of the questions was — why would a couple use condoms if the girl is using the pill or some other form of hormonal contraceptive? Out of 286 students, only 12 answered the question correctly. Condoms protect against STDs by forming a barrier. The barrier keeps one partner's fluids from getting into or on the other. Remember, hormonal contraceptives protect against pregnancy. The condom protects against pregnancy and disease. Carry two condoms in case one breaks or tears.

Practice safety at bars and parties.
Many of my patients have been given some form of date rape drug. These drugs are clear, odorless and tasteless so the victims have no idea they are drinking it. As a result of consuming the drug, some of these women have been raped. Others have not. This experience is very unsettling to all of them regardless of the outcome. Those who have not been raped have one thing in common; they have gone out with a group of friends who agree that they will all stay together and leave together. Always keep your drink in your sight. If you forget, pour it out and purchase a new one. No drink is worth the risk.

These suggestions are not a guarantee that you will never acquire an STD but they will greatly reduce your risk. Safer sex is one way to show you care. Please share your comments.

5 comments posted

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  • August 9, 2009 2:44 p.m.

    I wish that I had come across this kind of advice sooner. I am a 48 year old divorcee and after being married for 25 years I really needed a new sex ed course. Unfortunately, I am now being educated because my first partner after my divorce gave me herpes. I honestly did not expect that a 60 year old man would be a carrier. My new partner specifically stated, "no babies, no diseases" from him. I thought he was ideal. He lied. I agree that providers make assumptions about their patients based on their ages and marital status. Whenever I asked for more information about sex, and std's my doctor said "Oh you're probably just nervous! It's been a long time." I specifically asked about new vaccines and she stated that they are only given to younger women. Now I feel vulnerable and cheated.

    - anon

  • October 23, 2008 4:43 p.m.

    This may sound corny, but True Love, waiting, may be the only real answer. Jason Evert and Christopher West, both very well informed, young authors and speakers, have quite readable books...look for titles, The Love That Satisfies, Theology of the Body for Beginners, Theology of the Body Explained, and many more to help young people make it through teen years, to look back without having to ever think about strange new vaccines. Sadly, many have already bought into the lie that safe sex means that I care about someone...no, it means I am too immature and blind to care about anything but my small world in the immediate picture. Each of us is an important part of the mystery of history-in-the- making...we can be a positive or a negative force for those around us, and we can make difficult choices and live more freely than we could ever have imagined, if only we take a bold step, individually, for the common good. Sex matters. Most of us, given "choices" before we are old enough to realize dreadful consequences of some of the so-called health initiatives, would gladly choose to be "corny," not promiscuous and infected, and live happier, more peaceful lives as a result. This could fly in the face of every responsible adult who has ever given you "advice," but isn't that exactly what you are looking for? Something to rebel against! Go for it!!!

    - Wonow

  • September 29, 2008 10:52 a.m.

    Oh, and unless your partner asks for those same tests and you see the results, you can't be sure they were tested for them. And men can't be tested for HPV.

    - Anon

  • September 29, 2008 10:35 a.m.

    Thanks for the good information. And thanks, Sharon, for pointing out that if you don't ask for complete testing, you won't get it. I'd add that "complete" means different things to different providers. I've had to clarify which specific tests I want done, and in some cases had to repeat this information - to the doctor and the nurse doing the testing - because both made different assumptions.

    - Anon

  • September 28, 2008 12:42 p.m.

    Thanks for the succinct info. One thing to note for all ages; if you don't ask specifically for complete STD testing, you won't get it. Providers make assumptions on your activities based on age, marital status, and general responses to questions. You need to cough up honest information on what you've been doing and how and discuss risks and best testing practices.

    - Sharon Hoepker

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