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With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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October 4, 2008

Finding that meaningful purpose in life

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By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

Sometimes a casual comment can provide an insight and perspective into the stress and frustrations and disappointments we all deal with on an everyday basis. Let me explain.

I sat on a bus with a colleague as we were traveling between hospitals. He had just entered our cancer medicine training program and was at the start of a four-year journey. He was ten years older than his classmate, and I was curious about his background. Here is what I learned.

Following medical school, he became the CEO of a medical device company in an upper midwestern state. Over a six-year period, he made "tons of money" and had everything that money could purchase. However, at the end of the day, there was a nagging, gnawing sense that he was really not making a difference.

Sure, the shareholders were happy and the stock prices were skyrocketing, but there was a palpable emptiness. He then shared with me that he needed to do something in which at the end of the day he could have a sense that somehow the world or maybe even one person was a little bit better because of his efforts.

This meant stepping down from his high-income perch, working nights and weekends, and dialing back a very affluent lifestyle. He shared that this was a deliberate decision on his part and a great sacrifice for his wife and his young children. However, he was willing to endure the grind of going back into the medical arena with the hope of making a difference.

I think what I heard was the following: We can endure just about anything if somehow we can find meaning or purpose in our situation. Dr. Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor about whom we have written in the past, made the comment that if you give me a "why" to live, I can find out "how" to live. If there is meaning, if there is purpose, if there is some redemptive value in our stress and pain, somehow we can marshal the fortitude to move on.

Am I completely off base with this perception? I am thick skinned and would sure like to hear from our blog citizens on my interpretation of a casual conversation on a bus.

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23 comments posted

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November 21, 2008 10:40 a.m.

I'm a teen and i need to take a brek somtimes but i never have the time. :( what should i do?

- meganh

November 3, 2008 2:16 p.m.

Regarding "finding purpose",and also relating to Diane's comment about wanting her own life. When events control us, such as our family and their demands, and other outside pressures, it is very easy to lose oneself. For the past 6 years, I've been a caregiver to my Mom, since the death of my father in 2003. Over this time frame, I too have battled depression, my own mental issues, and basically have given up on anything that I want to do. Caring for a Mom with full blown alzheimers or cognitive impairment has taken over my life. I,like Diane, feel that I also have no choices of my own. Yes, we've tried "assisted living" not once but twice. "Stress" is something I've had to learn to live with,and not all stress is bad. I too suffer "burn out",and understand those feelings of wanting my life back. Not that anyone asked for advice,but there are support groups online,and also in our towns. I seek the help of a therapist and a psychiatrist. Though I attend a church, I find that my therapist offers me much more constructive comfort. There IS a light at the end of a tunnel...get some help,and don't be afraid to admit that your needs are important. One book that has helped me is the book "Boundaries",as without them, I don't know where I would be. Good luck to Diane. Your time will arrive, I assure you. I understand "burn out"...as I've been a nurse for many years. I hope this helps..you are NOT ALONE.

- cathy

November 1, 2008 3:35 a.m.

I have found it difficult to find the "happy" life. Even when I asked myself, if I could create the perfect life what would it be, I can come up with a concrete scenario. I don't think money and power are bad, in fact with them you have the ability to help others. But somewhere in there I believe relationships play a big part in fulfilling our lives.

- barbie

October 17, 2008 5:18 a.m.

I found the comments as though provoking as your article. I have found it very difficult to find the "happy" life. Even when I asked myself, if I could create the perfect life what would it be, I can come up with a concrete scenario. I don't think money and power are bad, in fact with them you have the ability to help others. But somewhere in there I believe relationships play a big part in fullfilling our lives.

- Ted

October 15, 2008 10:52 a.m.

Thank you for kind comments. We admire your faith and perserverance....Dr. Ed

- Dr. Ed

October 14, 2008 9:17 p.m.

Dr Creagan, I've been subscribing to Mayo Clinic Newsletter ever since I became a Mayo Rochester patient 2 years ago. I came to Mayo because of the doctors, specialists and care offered and given and because they let me know I matter. From a tramatic injury 6 years ago, I've dealt with chronic pain, and many physical issues from multiple pelvic and shoulder fractures that didn't heal correctly. Your column always brightens my day, I appreciate your candor and humanness. The life stories you share reminds me that I'm not alone. It helps me to continue to be positive, have faith and perservere. Thank you and God Bless...

- No name given

October 12, 2008 12:09 a.m.

I believe that you are on point with your interpretation of the bus riders story. Having a purpose provides drive and a reason as to why you are doing what you are doing. For some people money and personal gain just isn't enough. I can relate to the bus rider b/c I am a college student. I entered college thinking I would most likely major in business in hopes of living the good life and making tons of money. After awhile I realized no amount of money was going to make me happy if I wasn't helping others. Needless to say my major is now child development with an emphasis in social work. I went from aspirations of being the next CEO for a fortune 500 to caring so much about others and my community that now I volunteer on a weekly basis and I would rather have a thankless job making minor duckets if I can change someones life and better the world. Life is rough and sometimes I wish I would have choosen the big bucks but I know I wouldn't have been happy.

- No name given

October 10, 2008 12:42 p.m.

We all know what's being talked about here -- it's just that it's hard to label. What gives life meaning? Hopefully, we could all say that life itself has meaning without having to add anything to that basic truth. One thing I do know is that it is not money and it is not power and it is not things that one acquires. I think that the only indicator that one has meaning in one's life is the satisfaction and integrity that you feel ongoingly. It's an indicator to direct your life -- if and action doesn't seem in line with the promotion of meaning in your life then you need to change that action. It's like a maintenance plan to guide you into your future.

- vj

October 8, 2008 1:31 p.m.

I, too, read Frankl's book many years ago and it affected how I chose to live my life. I thought until recently that I doing very well in living my life with purpose and I was choosing my response to life's slings and arrows. As an educator and administrator I felt I was contributing to society in a positive way and even though I was working long hours and dealing with stressful situations, I was coping and even thriving. Then I got colitis and it has caused me to re-evaluate the cost of I "how" I was living my life on my health. Now I am taking a time out to focus on how I can listen to my body and still have the energy and drive to continue to make a difference for young people. Although I think we can "endure" just about anything when we find meaning and purpose, I think we also need to understand the toll of that endurance on our health.

- Gail

October 8, 2008 11:31 a.m.

Like Connie, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in my early 40's, after a very successful career. The next few years were very difficult, but with the right doctor, medication, and spiritual advisor, I "recovered" and now live a wonderfully fulfilling life. In retrospect, despite my career, I realize that I had only been living half a life. A big factor in my healing was reading Pope John Paul II's "The Dignity and Vocation of Women" where he talks about the "feminine genius". This short book gave me insights into myself and others that enabled me to see how I could "live the gospel" as a woman of grace. I was so happy to read about Dr. Creagan's colleague and suspect that not only he is happier but his family as well - and his life will bear abundant fruits. And by sharing his story, it already has!

- Sherry