Depression (major depression)

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• February 7, 2010 6:25 p.m.

  Regarding depression in the workplace....I've been out of work for four years plus. Three of those years were due to physical illness (cancer) but the last year and a half it's been solely due to depression. My depression has gotten somewhat better but the thing I obsess about most is the stigma of depression and how I will explain my being out of work for so long. I can't imagine sitting in an interview stating that I've been out of work due to severe depression. Any thoughts about looking for work after an extended depression?

  - Gina

• January 15, 2010 11:03 a.m.

  2009 should have been one the greatest years' of my life. I had landed a great paying job, that I loved doing. However, I ended up w/ the BOSS from HELL! He literally made my life a living hell. He did everything in his power to try and make me quit. He would tell me I stink, that I was suicidle, I hated my family, I needed to see a pyschatrist, all that because I smoked. Then he began to tell me I was pale and sickley looking, what kinds of meds was I on? Like it was any of his business! I was on these meds, because of him! I had anxiety/panic attacks in front of very large groups of people, but my job didn't require me to be in front of large groups of people, until he came to me and wanted me to start doing his job, and speaking in large groups of poeple, because he doesn't speak very good English. I told him, no very nicely that wasn't my job. He has only been in America 6 years, and says to me there is no such thing has anxiety, panic attacks or depression. I just looked at him, because at this time I was still on my 1 year probation. Things only got worse from there, he began making up lies and emailing me and cc'g folks w/ nothing but lies. It ended up getting so bad, I had a nervous breakdown, I attempted suicide 2 seperate times, and on the 2nd time I ended up in the hospital for a week away from my family, because of this bastard! I have been out of work 4 1/2 weeks, w/severe chest pains, back pains, depression, severe fatigue.NOTHEEMPLOYERSDON'TCARE!

  - Jen

• January 14, 2010 1:54 p.m.

  I am currently going through my worst episode with depression. I have this week of from work, with a dr note. I dont want to get out of bed, I dont want to do anything. we changed my meds. I am afraid for my employer to know the real reason for my absence. I have missed several days in the last 6 months from anxiety and depression. each time citing I had a flu bug. Why must I be so afraid I will loose my job if they know my real struggles?

  - sherri

• January 11, 2010 11:32 a.m.

  I just want to say to everyone whose employers are unsympathetic or don't understand: you are definitely not alone. All you can do is your best, and if in the end that is not enough, there will be something else that comes along for you that is a better fit. I want to thank everyone for sharing their experiences. It is good to feel like this really is like a physical medical condition, as opposed to feeling like there is just 'something wrong with me' (as in, me as a human being)...I'm really hoping to be able to keep things in balance so that I don't hurt other people, and lose the few wonderful relationships in my life...

  - Lola

• January 11, 2010 11:25 a.m.

  I suffer from mild/moderate depression (although sometimes I think it's hard to categorize- it seems like the level fluctuates all the time). I didn't go to work today, because I felt like 'I just couldn't.' This happens every few weeks or so, maybe once a month, but enough that it makes me feel very guilty about it and I know my employers/co-workers are unhappy with me because of it. I have been off and on medication. I think I need to go back on it but it's going to be a couple weeks until a doctor can see me. There is definitely a stigma attached to taking medication for mental illness. So many people believe it's unnatural and that you should be able to cope with depression/anxiety just through exercise, friends, and positive thinking. But when you're already depressed/anxious, it is sometimes nearly impossible to have the motivation you need to do something like that. When I finish work and go home, I often feel very lonely, but don't have the will or strength to go spend time with friends. I tend to want to be like a hermit to recharge my batteries. But this continues the downward spiral of self-focus, overthinking, sadness, and negativity. I can't afford to go to therapy, even with insurance. I came here to find people who can relate and see how they go about coping. It has been very comforting just seeing that there are so many other like me (although I don't wish the situation on anyone). We can't feed the depression/anxiety by being overly down on ourselves.

  - Lola

• November 22, 2009 3:39 p.m.

  Hi very good topic,You made a word for exactly how I feel"presentee-ism".Its Sunday evening and I dread going to work the next day,but Iremind myself that I have to be thankful that I have a job.Having a job is a blessing from God so I can't complain,in the meanwhile I am going to school to try to get a job that I will enjoy.I don't hate my job itself it is the ignorant people that I work with each day.I had no idea how many games grown adults play and how they try to dehumanize others.Its sad but with the help of God I am slowly getting over this hump of depression.

  - samantha

• November 17, 2009 9:44 a.m.

  Excellent topic. I like the term, "presentee-ism" as it aptly describes me. I am a 53-year-old attorney who feels trapped in a dead-end job. I have been dragging myself to work for years, and only now am starting to pick up the pieces and begin a real job search to try and better my situation. It hasn't helped to have my accountant recently tell me that my partners have essentially been taking me for a ride by not paying me the going rate for the business I have brought in. There are lots of sharks out there everywhere. Depression is a serious illness that should be taken seriously, but it still carries great stigmas and misunderstandings, and I am sorry to say it will most likely be a long time before our legal system and society shakes these off and faces the problem head-on. I also think the problem has a spiritual and theological dimension that cannot be ignored, but that is probably a topic for another blog. Thanks again for raising this important issue.

  - Jeff

• August 19, 2009 1:06 p.m.

  Anyone who has suffered problems on the job as a result of a mental illness should talk with a lawyer re the Americans with Disabilities Act. These companies think they can get away with it because they know how hard it is for anyone who deals with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc. This kind of discrimination has to be dealt with legally. The only way to change this heinous attitude is to for those who don't have to fight a mental illness on a daily basis is to pull together and work to write up legislation to protect those of us who do. In the mean time see a lawyer! google for listing of pro-bono lawyers if need be.

  - vks

• August 19, 2009 12:49 p.m.

  Karla, I've been there. Please contact a lawyer and be sure to document the conversations and keep any emails. Corporations will say and do anything they think they can get away with. Sad but true. At this point you need legal counsel to protect yourself.

  - jjs

• July 27, 2009 3:05 p.m.

  I have read thru everyone's comments. I too suffer from depression for well over 20 years. I have a hard time going to work. I have been a nurse for well over 25 years. You would think the health care field would have some kind of compassion for their employees.Yes the stigma of depression is still there and alive. I frankly have had enough of the co-workers talking behind my back-so I one day said yep I was hospitalized for depression and at least I have common sense to seek help when I needed it! Where I work there are plenty of people that are depressed-like zombies. We are treated with no respect and are overworked. When I first started working there the patient to nurse ratio was great,but as the years went on-the employer made the nurse/patient ratio unbearable. In other words-the patient care suffered.I have been working week-ends only for approx. the last 6 months and I called in sick for the week-end recently with intermittent FMLA and now they have decided that I cant work the week-ends. No nurse likes to work week-ends and now they have to suffer because management feels the need to punish me? Yes-I do fear losing my job,but in a way-maybe it would be blessing in disguise.The hospital built a brand new hospital and asked for donations from the employees to pay for it??? And then they lay off a number of workers?? Also the RN's agreed thru our union to take a freeze in pay for a year and they still layed off people? What is wrong with this picture??

  - Paige

• June 8, 2009 6:12 p.m.

  Dr. Hi I am Kathy. But I won't put my storey on line I am actually looking where to go for help. Because after 25 yrs. on the job, no kids and a wonderful husband, we are looking for help (for me). :(

  - Kathy

• March 25, 2009 12:25 a.m.

  I have just made my way out of my 5th long bout with depression in 5 years...Praise God...The things that stand out in my mind as I read what everyone has shared on here are: 1) no matter what position we hold in life, depression affects us all in a fairly similar manner 2) Depression symptoms are so textbook in many areas that depression should be recognized as a health issue just like cancer, lung disease, and heart failure.* 3) I noted the opinion that only someone who has been to the valley and made it back to the mountiantop is really capable of understanding what depression is really like. 4) I noted at least one individual who felt called to somehow help others who had suffered as they did. 5) The information on line was much better than it was in 2003 when I suffered my first major depressive episode. Mayo Clinic is one of the better sites. Perhaps it was here and I just missed it before...Flo *Unfortunately treatment for those health issues may be substandard too because profit wins over humanitarism most days. I chose those three illnesses because they are often more self-inflicted than mental health illnesses are. Mental issues are typically a result of negative influence and impact from other individuals, our environment, genetics, or some combination of those. However, by the very nature of the illness, which affects our mental abilities, we are unable to "think our way, plan our way, or analyze our way out of it". We are handicapped.

  - Charity

• February 15, 2009 5:28 p.m.

  Again, I have worked at my hospital for 30 years with good reviews , a certification, anewly obtained B.S. The last 4 years I have been oof from 3-6 months sds for depression. My doctor and theapist want me to go part time, my manager says she can't arrange that at this time, human resources say they have no responsibility in helping me find a part time job. I was shocked that since working since 1984 in my department that they would not allow me to go part time there. I beleive they want to get rid of me. I am at the top of the pay scale and have become a "problem." Where do you turn for advice and support? When I ask my Psychiatrist what her estimation of my disease process would be and how I should plan for the future, she said well there are always new meds. If I take a part time job I lose the long term disability benifit that I payed into for 30 years (for chem dependency and psych issues this coverage is for 2 years0 for all other illnesses it lasts untill the pt. is 65. Getting social security assistance, I have heard is a nightmare. Any suggestions? Karla

  - Karla

• February 5, 2009 1:05 p.m.

  I have worked in a hospital for almost 30 years and have had great evaluations, became certified in my field of expertease and obtained a higher degree. I have been depressed for 30 years and in the last 3 it has really started to become a problem. I've taken FMLA and SDD which is looked upon very negativeley by my co-workers and employers, because it is for mental health. No one takes you seriously anymore, you lose the respect of your work team and the insurance company wants to pay for as little as possible. I have found good Dr.s and therapist, who are nice people with the right intentions, but they have no more clue than the general public about living with this disorder. If you lose your job you lose insurance and then your life is over. No pressure here!

  - karla

• January 16, 2009 11:08 a.m.

  Dr. Melin, What is the average enrollment rate for behavioral depression programs offered through employers? Thanks!

  - Clinical Analyst

• December 3, 2008 7:36 p.m.

  I worry about things six months in advance for work! I'm "overresponsible" and it's ruined my job for me. Someone told me to basically chill out some because I work so hard and try to make everything perfect. The problem is I can't! It scares me because I can't afford to lose this job.

  - trying to be hopeful

• December 2, 2008 2:32 p.m.

  I guess what is hard for me is coming to work , knowing that it is the last thing that I want to do, but that I should do it anyway. If I didn't, I would simply stay in bed all day. the hard part is going through every minute, convincing myself that I can make it through the next, all the while feeling like I am walking through molasses. Can't think, can't find words, my body aches, the emotional pain in my chest throbbing... and nobody at work understands that.

  - Cathy

• December 1, 2008 7:20 p.m.

  I have a job with a lot of responsibility and I am having an awful time keeping it together. I have depression and GAD as well as OCD. I check and double check work and then wake in the middle of the night to do it again. Stress at work causes me to cry and this makes maintaining professionalism very hard. I thankfully telecommute but when I have to be at the office I always end up a nervous wreck and it's obvious. I can't seem to get meds right and when I finally saw a psychiatrist instead of a regular doctor I thought I'd get real help. I was wrong, he just prescribed the same meds I was already on. I can't afford therapy and am so scared of falling apart. Now I'm just taking Zoloft and small amount of klonopin. Obviously I need something else...

  - trying to be hopeful

• November 24, 2008 11:40 p.m.

  I went to work depressed for months. I wasn't able to get a lot done, but I have people that work for me and since they kept getting their work done I don't think anyone noticed that I wasn't getting much done. I didn't want to stay home from work because I felt so lonely at home. I went to work just to be around people and to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If I had stayed home I would have become more depressed.

  - Tanya

• November 24, 2008 2:00 p.m.

  I was finally where I wanted to be in my life. I married a fantastic man and I know hw is my soul-mate. I retired from the Army Nurse Corp ans started to work for the state of WA. In 2004 I suddenly became ill, I could not stay awake I had diven off the road twice but never had an accident Thank the Lord! We had just bought a new house and was trying to do a few thing before we moved in, but I could not help because I could not stay awake and this made the depression worse. I had been thur a trauma in 1998 where I was in intensive Care for three month. By the way I am a trauma Nurse, ER nurse. Of course I went to the doctor but he said you have the flu. I kept trying to tell the dr that I was not vomiting or have a fever, This was so bad he finally did an amyalse and it was off the charts so he sent me to Seattle to see a specialist in autoimune disease. He took blood and said I was a month late that I have Chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia also, that I had the parvo visus and it was to late to fix so he put me to bed for 30 days, the bosswas very understanding. I have kept having flu like sysmtoms and of course more antidepessive adding pills. I was having Cardiac rhythum so I went to a cardiologist, He was a blessing, he said I want more blood and I think you have been misdiagnosised-He found a very high amylase and said I had been exposed to Epistein Barr along with the other things but my cardiac was ok. He arranged for me to go to the university of WA for help.

  - Lora

• November 20, 2008 6:00 p.m.

  I've gone to work with depression and believe it or not, no one noticed.

  - JoseJavier

• November 19, 2008 1:19 p.m.

  I SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION. AS I WORK EVERY DAY IFEEL FINE THERE BUT WHEN I COME HOME OF A NIGHT I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING. I JUST FILL LIKE I HAVE NO ENERGY AT HOME.

  - PATTY WWWW

• November 19, 2008 11:06 a.m.

  I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome along with depression, which can be part of any long term illness. I was on short term disability for 6 months, and when I went back to work, I had been assigned to a new position which I was not qualified to do. After a few months of floundering they laid me off. No matter how excellent your performance, things change once you have a lengthy absence, even if it seems 'sanctioned' by management. It was a very disappointing experience.

  - Disappointed

• November 18, 2008 12:56 a.m.

  I too have had to switch careers a few times because of my bi-polar disorder. I missed a number of days because of my disorder. After a number of years of experimentation with different drugs the manic side of my bi-polar was brought under control but I still had problems with my depression. I had been hospitalized 3 times. I ended up having to leave a professional position I enjoyed. I have had ECTs done and they didn't quite work. I decided to try Mayo Clinics in Rochester, MN. I learned there it takes a cognitive effort, having a plan in my life concerning diet, exercise,recreation, schedule and work. Through tests the best anti-depressant was chosen for me, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and work with a whole team of professionals I was able to develop a "life plan". I am on long term disability through a policy I purchased years ago and I am planning on how I can return to work. I am planning to start slow to see what I can handle. As stated before it is hard to find an entry level job when you have been management and have a master's degree . Employers want to know why you were only at your last job for 9-months and why you left it (second hospitalization for me). No, it is not easy and depression can be tough. Thank God though for the new Wellstone Act concerning health care and mental health coverage. If you are having problems I highly recommend you give Mayo a try. Call them-They Do An Incredible Great Job. God Bless All

  - Greg

• November 17, 2008 10:20 p.m.

  No one should ever have to go to work ill fearing loss of employment. How did allow ourselves to accept this and why aren't we doing anything about it?

  - Jaqui