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  • With Mayo Clinic certified nurse-midwife

    Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

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  • Pregnancy and you blog

  • Dec. 5, 2008

    Intimacy after pregnancy and delivery: Is there such a thing?

    By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

6 comments posted

I am sorry for the very long period of silence in my blog. I was ill and in the hospital but am beginning to feel better now.

I had promised a follow-up on the previous article about sex in pregnancy. If you are recently delivered, you may be asking why would you ever have sex again? You are sleep deprived, you are tired of having vaginal drainage, and if breastfeeding, you have sympathy for all the cows of the world.

You might also have some fears about pain and discomfort, or be afraid that your husband might look at you in a different way after having watched you deliver a baby. I remember my fear after having my 10 pound baby was that my vagina would be too big, a cavernous, echoing vault. Silly me, everything was as it should be.

You will have sex again and it will be pleasurable again. It just might take some effort. Clear your mind to the best of your ability. If you are making a grocery list, or thinking about the laundry or keeping an ear open for the baby, you will not be enjoying yourself as much. Don't have intercourse in the same room as the baby. If you have a baby monitor, turn it off.

Some women who are nursing will worry about leaking during love making. Often, if you can keep your mind off of the baby you won't have much problem with this. Being well lubricated during intercourse can be a problem. Have a personal lubricant handy and use it; some for you, some for him. Basically you should adopt the rule, the slipperier the better.

In my opinion the most important rule is to take your time. It doesn't have to happen until you are ready. If you try and it is uncomfortable, wait and try in a few days. Keep communication open and loving. Oh yes, do use birth control if you don't want another baby right away.

Please share your experiences and questions with us.

6 comments posted

blog index
  • October 22, 2011 9:37 p.m.

    Vitamins for Memory also helps pregnant women to maintain the baby's heath while it is still in his tummy.

    - Anna Breault

  • June 10, 2011 5:35 a.m.

    That's really thininkg out of the box. Thanks!

    - Tracen

  • December 6, 2010 3:24 p.m.

    Many breastfeeding women experience some vaginal dryness. Some like you experience extreme dryness that is not helped by the usual lpersonal lubricants. This is usually a result of the decrease in estrogen. The cream your doctor gave you is probably an estrogen cream. The dryness comes back when you stop using the cream because your body is still supression your estrogen. You should experience an improvement in your dryness after your baby is about 6 months old. You can continue to use the cream as well as personal lubrucants. If you don't get any relief, I would check back with your doctor for further evaluation.

    - Mary @ Mayo

  • November 30, 2010 10:17 a.m.

    I have a 4.5month old and I am breastfeeding. Intercourse is still painful and I have minor discomfort in my vag region. My Doc said it was not a yeast infection but the result of extreme dryness and possible irritation from soap/detergent. He gave me a cream to deal with the discomfort but when I stop using it the daily discomfort returns. The cream does not help with intercourse pain. Is this normal? Any suggestions? We have tried lots of lub, taking it slow, and waiting a few days to try again. I am beginning to worry something is wrong. Thanks

    - momwithpain

  • June 20, 2010 3:07 p.m.

    thnk you for sharing travesti

    - travesti

  • December 10, 2008 6:47 a.m.

    I am a menopausal mom who adopted a baby boy at 2 days old with my hubby. I had no desire for sex for 1 year, it hurt so bad.I was also nursing our baby too and that was also part of the dryness problem too. But, I now have the problem solved! I am using a natural vag creme that is called estradiol-estriol , and it has worked wonders! I feel like my old self before menopause and before nursing!

    - welovethechildren

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