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• January 14, 2013 10:35 p.m.

  I don't know the answers to the first part. Those are quiotesns that you need to ask your doctor. But I am sure that there is nothing to worry about.To have a healthy pregnancy take prenatals, folic acid, stop any unhealthy habits you may have.Good luck in January I hope you get pregnant the first month you try!

  - Katka

• May 7, 2012 12:01 p.m.

  My husband and I endured 7 long years of infertility. We lost our first pregnancy via miscarriage 26 years ago and the second pregnancy 24 years ago. The pain NEVER goes away. I still think of those babies when their due dates arrive each year. Thank goodness we were able to adopt our beautiful daughter 24 years ago. She has been the most wonderful daughter in the world. I still mourn for the babies we lost but am so grateful for the wonderful child I have.

  - Tara

• September 3, 2011 10:45 p.m.

  After having final stage of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and receiving double doses of chemo at age 30 I was unsure if I could conceive well I was so excited when I learned I was pregnant however it ended very quickly. I lost my first baby at 10weeks in Sep 2006 and had to wait a week to go for D&C. I kind of knew it was going to go bad when I saw blood clot above sac on ultrasound and they put me on bed rest at 6 weeks. I then had a successful pregnancy in Jan 2008 to healthy girl. Well after recently finding out I was pregnant again we were so excited and started spreading the news to all including our little girl. I went for 8 week ultrasound and was told there was no heartbeat. Just 6 hours later I went to Labor and Delivery where they did D&C however this time I was awake and in the next room I could hear a woman just give birth to a baby. I just feel like I've been violated, like they just stole my baby from me. I know that the baby was sick and that's why things happen for a reason but it is definatly harder this time since I was not expecting it at all. The worst was having to try and explain now to my daughter that there is no longer a baby in my belly. I saved the ultrasound picture from the first time where it is tucked in a book well this time I also took the picture but this time I felt bad just putting it in the back of the book with the other one so today I decided to buy a double frame and on top of each picture I will engrave the month and year I lost the

  - Michele

• September 1, 2011 9:44 p.m.

  My heart goes out to all of you who have experienced a loss. My husband and I lost our 5th pregnancy this past Dec. 2010. Our 2nd pregnancy was a full term preg delivering our son w/hydrocephalus...he never came home during that month in the hospital NICU. We tried three times after, and our most recent we had not told anyone, then we visited my parents for txgiving, came back, my husband told his family, and at the next appt we were told there were complications, ultrasounds were set up for the following appt [one wk after], and there was no heartbeat...I would give anything to be able to have a child...our daughter would have been born 4/26/11. I too feel like Karen. I go to work and try to go on but every morning requires alot of strength from me to get up and stay all in one piece without falling appart. The best anology I can give is that of a cracked egg (that would be me) that I have to make sure that not one crack falls b/c if that happens, the whole egg will fall appart. That's a challenge in it of itself, now let me throw a wrench to the equation...there are two other ladies pregnant at the office...need I say more? It is soooo hard !!! There are days I just want to walk out! I've been to counseling but in all honesty I think I will be in the healing process for the rest of my life...also, I've decided to get a tubal ligation...I think perhaps by doing that, I will have to realize that I will never be able to have a child.

  - Maggie

• May 5, 2011 10:45 p.m.

  On March 29, 2011, my first pregnancy ended. At our 20 week US the day before, we found out that our baby boy had ectopia cordis, a very rare condition in which the heart was growing outside of the chest wall. I had a D&E after finding out this is incompatible with life outside the uterus. 5 weeks later, I am still having difficulty coping. I am going to work and doing my normal daily activities, but I just don't feel right yet. I want so badly to be pregnant again, but I don't know when I'll have to courage to even think about it. I am worried that in my next pregnancy I will be paralized with fear. Who knew that something so natural and seemingly easy for most women could tear me apart emotionally. I have an amazing husband, but I think only other women who've been through this really understand...

  - Karen

• March 29, 2011 9:32 p.m.

  My husband and I were overjoyed when we found out Febuary 24, 2011 that we were 8 weeks pregnant. We had an awesome US and got to hear a strong heartbeat of 132 BPM. I didn't experience any problems until March 14, 2011. I had very little brown discharge. The nurse said "No need to worry if you aren't experiencing any other problems". I pushed to have my 12 week appointment moved up for piece of mind. March 23, 2011 we had another US only to find out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. We do not have an explanation and doubt we ever will. This has been extremely hard on both my husband and I, but our family and friends have been so supportive.

  - Amanda

• March 27, 2011 1:09 a.m.

  I'm 37, and I lost my little girl a couple of weeks ago. I went for my 22 week ultrasound (a follow up from my 18 week appt.) I found out that she didn't have a heartbeat. I had to wait until the following week to be induced and deliver. The hospital was wonderful. They gave me my baby wrapped in a blanket, and allowed my husband and I to say goodbye. This is our second miscarriage in 3 years, it's taken us that long to get pregnant again. We're off to visit a specialist next week to find out why we keep losing babies...I'm terrified to conceive again, but the thought of not having another baby is even more frightening. Just after I delivered my baby, I found a nice website that designs jewelry for lost children. It's "my forever child". It's nice to have a necklace to remember her by.

  - Brandy

• February 11, 2011 5:43 a.m.

  Its really a nice and informative blog.. I wanna some information about Tubal reversal.. Mothers who had done Tubal Ligation to stop pregnancy can become a mother again after Tubal Reversal.. For more info chk this Tubal Reversal

  - Mack

• February 7, 2011 7:03 p.m.

  It is heart-breaking to read that others have gone through recurrent miscarriages like me. Having experienced 3 in 20 months has left me feeling hopeless. I rarely allowed myself to contemplate what it would be like to finally hold a baby in my arms. My doctor assured me each time that once I saw the heartbeat I only had a 5% chance of miscarrying even though I'm 43. And each time I finally allowed myself to think about what it would be like to have a child with the love of my life. Unfortunately, I was always in the 5%. The immeasurable emotional and sometimes physical pain that accompanies miscarriage is rarely discussed. I found it extremely difficult after each loss to continually redirect my life away from one of motherhood to my career, once again. My mom and sisters seemed relieved each time I lost a baby that I would not be another "40 something," mom. My husband just looked at it as bad luck. The truth is that I had a doctor that was not proactive in my prenatal or preconceptive care even though I scheduled a visit with her prior to conceiving and tried to discuss steps I could take to prevent miscarriage if I became pregnant. She simply said "Try and we'll take it from there." I think if I had money I could have consulted with a specialist in high-risk pregnancy. Although this is all speculation, I can't help but feel cheated. There is no "What next?" for me.

  - Kiki

• January 29, 2011 12:07 p.m.

  Hi- I am almost 35 and in a 12 month period in 2009 we lost three pregnancies. the most painful was the first one where we had a heart beat. there are absolutely no words to describe the pain you go thru when you experience such a loss. my heart goes out to every single woman out there - because I understand. even your husband will not understand at times when he catches you looking at a pregnant lady on a walk, or tears coming down during a baby commercial. we went thru every single test available on this earth - after so much emotional pain (something to be said about all those doctors and nurses who think you are a lab rat and have no clue that your heart is torn apart) and the financial burden of it all - nothing came up for us. anything you name it, we've heard it from people. it definitely put our marriage for a test ride as well. it is not for the faint hearted, and if you need to grieve, you have to grieve. there is no set of amount of tears allowed. there has been many instances where I felt I was swallowed up by grief, rage, anger, envy and a heavy, heavy heart. I wish people would talk about their losses more too - so you don't think how on earth everybody seems to pop them out like kittens and you have failed. just last week we found out we are pregnant again - only 6 weeks and I am beyond terrified, frozen in anxiety and pain. May God help all the women out there who have to cope with a loss, and give the strength and courage to try again.

  - Sarah

• January 12, 2011 2:23 a.m.

  I am 32 years old and my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 18 weeks on November 30, 2010. I had had two ultrasounds and was one day away from my third, the structural ultrasound that would have revealed the baby's gender. The day I miscarried, one of my students asked me, "Mrs. H, girl or boy?" I told her we would find out the next day. I miscarried that night, and the next morning, a social worker at the hospital informed us that had lost a baby girl. So far, exam and tests have revealed nothing except that the baby showed signs of inflammation. About two weeks before the miscarriage, I had gone in to see my OB for a scheduled exam; he took the heart rate and that was it. I told him I thought I had a yeast infection; I had never had one and it was pretty painful. He didn't examine me and told me to get some Monistat over the counter. In my desperate search for answers, I've turned up information on bacterial vaginosis and the increased rate of miscarriage in women who have this condition, which manifests itself with the same symptoms of a yeast infection. I am not a doctor. But I am incapacitated with horror and rage and guilt and despair at the possibility that I could have prevented the death of my daughter simply by demanding my OB examine me and prescribe antibiotics. The thought is eating away at me. I don't know how to go on.

  - Rebecca

• October 14, 2010 4:22 a.m.

  Between the ages of 19 and 24, I lost three pregnancies to miscarriage, all around the 7-8 week mark. I then did not get pregnant again for six years, and I had finally come to peace with the idea of never being a mother, especially after being diagnosed with endometriosis, a thyroid disorder and several other hormonal abnormalities, including a bleeding disorder. Then, this July on my 31st birthday, I found out that I was again pregnant, and again bleeding profusely seven weeks along. Somehow, miraculously, I did not lose the baby, and I am now twenty weeks into a normalized, healthy pregnancy with a little girl. There are no graves for my first three children, but their sister is going to make it. I don't know if she will ever realize how much I love her for hanging on and living despite my utterly inhospitable body. There is hope for us who have lost children to miscarriage. I didn't ever want to get pregnant again for fear of going through that loss a fourth time, but here I am, unbelievably, in the midst of a healthy pregnancy. I myself am still unwell and undergoing intense medical treatment, but she is doing fine and every ultrasound shows a beautiful little person with no apparent physical problems. I am still so afraid of losing her, but all signs show that I will be able to give birth to my daughter in March. May the gods bless each of us who have lost unborn children, and bless every single person who gives us the help and support we need through those times.

  - Becke

• July 9, 2010 6:45 p.m.

  I wasn't feeling well the last few weeks, so I went to my OBGYN for my annual on Tuesday, July 6th (my 36th birthday.) I was surprised to hear the words, "You're pregnant." What a wonderful birthday present! I learned I was 6 weeks along. Today, just 3 days later I found out that I am miscarrying. This was my first pregnancy. Words can't describe what I'm feeling. My husband is being so supportive, as well as my friends and family. I am blessed to have all this love and support around me, but my heart is just breaking. It amazes me how the loss of this little person, who has only existed 6 weeks, can tear at my heart like this. I've read the other posts on here and see that I'm not alone, but it is still so hard to take. I pray for all the unborn babies, and find comfort in knowing my unborn baby is with God now.

  - Margie

• May 8, 2010 1:14 p.m.

  I lost our first baby to a miscarriage when I was about 6 weeks pregnant. This was about four weeks ago -- and now I'm having my first period since then AND it's mother's day weekend. I'm a wreck. For me the most frustrating thing right now is that it seems like my husband no longer understands. When the miscarriage first happened, he was wonderful. Incredibly gentle and supportive. When I cried the first time we had sex after the miscarriage, he totally understood. When I cried when a friend was talking about how sad it is there are unwanted babies, he understood. But this weekend I am desperate for support and am not getting it. If someone tells you, "stop lingering," it's more about them than about you. I know there's such a thing as over-prolonged grief, but I'm not there yet. I know I'm still within a perfectly normal grief experience. It's my husband who can't handle it any more, and it's SO SAD that his response is to withdraw from me and get angry instead of giving me the comfort and attention I crave. I feel very, very lucky to have my mom and stepdad in town -- who love me very much. It's also really lucky that my husband and I are already in couple's counseling, so our relationship has some support. I AM JUST SO ANGRY AT HIM RIGHT NOW. HOW DARE HE DENY ME COMFORT AND SUPPORT ON SUCH A CRAPPY WEEKEND!! Our relationship is almost always so very good and mutually supportive and loving, which makes it even more of a shock.

  - Jennifer

• April 6, 2010 2:28 p.m.

  It is weird the words that I used before with all of the difficulties with family when I said that "That" was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. Now, I can honestly say, nothing is compared to what I've been through in the past month. Even though I found out both times 1 day and lost both of them with in 4 days each, it's still the most difficult times I've ever been through. I thank GOD for my 2yr old daughter and being able to experience pregnancy with her to term. She is my world and I love her with all of my heart. I really appreciate that now as to where I was SOO ready to deliver her before she was even due. Now I just want to experience it all the way through. I want to be able to just carry my baby and know that he/she is safe. I know that everything happens for a reason but I still can't help but to question, Why? Why me? Why now? Why my babies? What could I have done, or what did I do? The doctor told us that there is not an answer to any of these questions but to know that there was no reason that I can't carry full term next time. Which can't be until June. I'm thankful for that but I still feel lost and empty now. You know how it feels to become instantly attached to a baby when you get your positive results. I knew last month that I was pregnant but they just kept saying that I wasn't. I'm angry because I feel like this miscarriage could have been avoided if I had just been given the correct information and the correct treatment. I called t

  - Chasity

• March 25, 2010 1:41 p.m.

  We have an endless capacity to love. As women we don't limit our love when it comes to pregnancy. We love the little bunch of cells because those cells are a baby and that baby is a part of our future. When we lose our baby, we also lose that future we have been dreaming about. I am always amazed at the coldness of some people. I think most of the time they are trying to protect themselves from your pain, and making less of it so they don't hurt. They can also be cruel unintentionally because they want to say something but they just don't have the ability. Also, to be blunt, there are just mean, nasty people in this world. For all of you who have not been able to grieve for your babies, do it now. It is never too late. Write down everything about the baby and how everything felt. Talk to someone, perhaps a family member or friend, maybe someone from your church. See a counsler for a few visits for help knowing what you can do to come through your grief. Write to us here on the blog. We hear you and know your grief.

  - Mary@Mayo

• March 18, 2010 3:11 p.m.

  Like its crazy how you can love something so small so tiny..i just recently had a miscarriage a week ago..my baby was only 13 week old..im still kinda in shock still in disbelief..the hardest thing was when we had to bury it..we didnt even get to know if it was a boy or a ..the pain is still..my husband and i still live with the image of burying our unborn child..yeah it was only 13 weeks old but it was our baby..our first child at that..so i know what every woman who has had a miscarriage is feelin..and i wish there was this pill you can take so you wont have to go through this kinda pain

  - A.Santiago

• February 25, 2010 8:34 a.m.

  We have been trying for a baby for over a year. I have had 4 miscarriages and an etopic pregnancy. The 1st, 2nd, and 4th miscarriage all occurred about the 5-7 week mark. The 3rd miscarriage I had a d/c and was told there was no baby, just tissue. My body continued to develop a pregnancy without a baby. I found out after the 4th miscarriage, after doing my own research and asking for blood tests, that I had antiphosolipid syndrome (aps). This causes clotting during pregnancy that prevents the pregnancy from developing properly. My ob put me on baby aspirin, and instructions to go in as soon as I thought I was pregnant for daily blood thinners to treat the aps. After finding out I was pregnant, I began daily self injections of blood thinners. I was on day 15 of shots when I suffered an etopic pregnancy. My fallopian tube ruptured, and I had to have emergency surgery to remove it. Due to the blood thinner and baby aspirin, I bled heavily and have had a number of issues. At this point, I am not going to try any more. It has been a long road with nothing to show for it. I am emotionally drained and financially exhausted. I want to get pregnant again, but am too afraid. I have grieved each pregnancy knowing I was going to try again. However, this time I know I can't try again. I have a very supportive family, but it still hurts. My family says to stop. My husband says this is enough. I had bought baby items & maternity clothes. I now plan on donating them.

  - Melanie

• February 11, 2010 1:11 p.m.

  I lost my child at 16 wks 5 years ago, and never have been able to grieve for the baby. He/She would be would be 4 this month. I was 17 when it happened and I felt so alone and I still do. When I went to the hospital, the staff was uncaring and cold, my family didn't talk to me. I had to go threw this by myself and it still eats at me. I'm afraid to get pregnant again, I'm scared that the same thing will happen. I was told that it shouldn't matter because it was just a fetus. I never saw the baby, never heard the baby cry, so I should get over it and not think about it ever again. I don't know how someone could think that. My best friend was pregnant at the time also and when I called her she told me I was trying to make her lose her baby. That cut like a knife when she said that. What helped me the most is knowing that my child is with God now looking over me. And that He wouldn't have let me go through it if He thought that I couldn't handle it. So ladies, when you feel like I did, hit your knees and pray. HE will help you grieve for your child, He will help you heal emotionally. I can't say that you will get over it, because I never did, but the pain will lessen in time. Just pray and the LORD will help in this painful time of need for you.

  - Jodi

• February 6, 2010 6:45 p.m.

  I've lost 2 sons- one at 20 weeks and another further along. The last one happened just this past year and it was quite a shock. There just aren't words to explain the grief and sadness. The OB unit and nurses were a blessing. A small, strong Christian community and the hospital staff were so kind and compassionate. It made a world of difference in our life and certainly helped ease some of the grief. We have photos, the little hats our babies wore, blankets...

  - Mary

• February 6, 2010 1:25 p.m.

  My daughter miscarried last night. She was only 5 weeks along, and although I had barely the time to get used to the idea of being a grandma for the first time, this is very much the loss of my grandchild to me. I'm not even sure what is normal to feel, but I feel a sadness, and loss not unlike when I lost my mother. I don't know how to help my daughter but just to be there for her. I don't know what to say to make it alright, or if there are words that are available in the english language to use. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do to make things better. My daughter is only 19, and although she is still very young, with years ahead of her to have children, it makes the loss of this baby no less painful. A nurse at the hospital last night made the comment that she was still too young and had many years ahead, as though she had no right to be angry and crying. I wanted to choke that nurse. How dare the insensitivity. As though my daughters baby didn't matter because she was young, and has time. As though she lost her glasses, not a human being. I am one of those who believe a baby is a baby at conception, so to me, this was a loss of a child. Sarahs child, my grandchild.

  - Lori

• January 29, 2010 12:32 a.m.

  very informative blog here is a blog about women health pregnancy and tubal reversal

  - sasha

• January 23, 2010 3:56 p.m.

  I first read this blog when I suffered an ectopic pregnancy (and lost my right tube) in aug 2009. Its been quite a journey since then....what keeps me going is my loving family, faith and definitly a positive attitude (though its hard at times to keep that!)...I still tear up at times when I think of what we went through as this was our first and very much planned pregnancy and we got pregnanct in our first month of trying. Some days are harder than others but I am hopeful that I will have a happy ending to this soon. Thank you for this blog and the information posted, mayo clinic is one of my primary sources of health information online.

  - Geeta

• January 18, 2010 3:40 a.m.

  .., i am really frustrated at the moment.. if anyone here lost a child, i guess you can imagine my pain as not having my own child... my husband and i are on our way for new methods to try out... i want to carry a child of my own.. hope this could help... Trying to get pregnant quickly

  - jaycee

• September 8, 2009 8:18 p.m.

  If I may comment from the standpoint of a grandma... My oldest daughter lost a beautiful son at 7 1/2 months gestation, stillbirth, in January, no cause ever discovered. He would have been their 2nd child. I find this loss is more poignant as time passes, as it seemed unreal at first. We all held him, grieved, had a service, etc. I made a memory box, too. His picture is in our homes, we think of him often. I know what my special nickname for him would have been. :) Hospital staff were wonderful to us all; the entire family, both sides, shared in this experience. I believe you should allow yourself to grieve; don't try to put it behind you. This child, your child, was and is real to you; you still have love for him/her, unrequited tho' it may seem. We are anticipating a baby girl now, my daughter is almost 5 months along. Anxiety will build as she nears the point at which she lost this son, but she's getting great prenatal care. We believe the best thing we can do is pray for them, trust His wisdom, and be there for them. All our hearts are on edge, just the same. I now have a brother and a grandson I'll meet 'someday', what joy. Meanwhile, we enjoy the family we have here. My heart goes out to each of you who have lost children! May your pain ease with time. Blessings...

  - Julia