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    Nancy Klobassa Davidson, R.N., and Peggy Moreland, R.N.

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  • Living with diabetes blog

  • Oct. 10, 2009

    To tell or not to tell: Diabetes and dating

    By Nancy Klobassa Davidson, R.N., and Peggy Moreland, R.N.

14 comments posted

Controlling Your Diabetes

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Going out for a first date and wondering if you should tell him or her if you have diabetes? The American Diabetes Association offers some things to consider when trying to decide whether or not to tell:

  • Dining: It might be easier to stick with your meal plan if your date knows about your diabetes.
  • Hypoglycemia: What happens if you get low while on a date?
  • Testing your blood glucose and giving self injections: Consider that you may need to test your blood sugar or give yourself an injection while you are out.
  • Activity: If your date involves physical activity, such as sports, swimming, rollerblading, that would require more frequent blood glucose testing and a greater chance of getting a low.

When you decide to let your date know that you have diabetes, the explanation can be short and sweet. With a little planning ahead of time, you can concentrate on having fun!

Here are a few tips to boost your confidence:

  • Plan ahead — Don't go too long without a meal or snack. Test your blood sugar prior to going out. Carry emergency snacks or blood glucose tablets in your purse or pocket.
  • Injection — If you need to give yourself an injection prior to eating, an insulin pen is discreet and easy to use.
  • Oral care — Blood glucose levels of 250 mg/dl or higher (13.9 mmol/L) are often accompanied by a fruity breath odor. Normalize blood glucose levels and have good oral hygiene. Brush and floss your teeth regularly and see your dentist twice a year.
  • Limit alcohol — Alcohol can rapidly decrease your blood sugar level, putting you at great risk for hypoglycemia especially if you are on insulin. Test your blood glucose to help you decide if you should drink. If you do choose to have alcohol, limit the amount and have it with food. Drink only when your blood glucose is under control. Check with your healthcare provider to see if it is OK to combine alcohol with your diabetes medications. Alcohol, physical activity, and insulin all lower your blood sugar. The combination can be hazardous to your health.
  • Medical I.D. — Always a good idea.

So, to tell or not to tell? Please share your experiences, good or bad.

14 comments posted

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  • April 13, 2013 4:09 p.m.

    Please if you have diabetes 1 and you care about your date/partner tell them as soon as possible. I have found it so beneficial to help my partner with driving when he is not well as eyesight can be an issue at night, helping with drinking in a social situation by getting non-alcoholic beer, and even when he has over exercised/worked and needs a sugar treat. This creates a stronger bond and if a person cares they want to help. Don't be afraid to tell, believe me we all have issues that a good partner can help with .

    - Mary

  • June 5, 2012 12:13 p.m.

    hi my name is maggie and i had diabetes for like 7 months now and its been a hard 7 mons of my life. i am trying to find a right diet for my self but it is difficult to do. i am drinking and eating unhealthy and thats what i want to change. i limited myself with alcohol alot but still its not good for me. i did lose weight and i want to lose more but by a healthy diet plan for me. so i think diabetes could be a bad thing or a good thing....? i think? oh i am only 22 years old so now that you see how old i am, it is pretty hard for a young person like me to find out or get more info on diabetes. well hope i see more posting on here and ill earn more as well.

    - maggie

  • April 12, 2012 8:32 p.m.

    Hello- So I am on the receiving end,, my boyfriend has diabetes. I am glad that he was very upfront with me from the very begining. We have only been together for a couple of months, but I am learning what I can in order to help him manage it.

    - Cammie

  • August 24, 2011 4:08 p.m.

    I'd say: never tell anyone! My experience: people always think they know what to tell you do ... having diabetes is an embarrassing, demeaning, horrible thing... it just draws negative attention and people don't treat you like a normal person. and, they try to control you ... "you shouldn't eat that, should you?" I hate having diabetes and I hate the attitudes of other people about it. If you want a normal relationship, just keep your business to yourself~

    - Alicia

  • September 9, 2010 6:55 a.m.

    Hi everybody!! 28 years old. In my social life I find it very easy to talk to my mates about my diabetes. It's a good subject for conversation and it's specially useful to break the ice. Never fails.

    - Alberto

  • August 17, 2010 4:18 p.m.

    I am Type 2. Handle it well if I may say so. But always tell my dates that I am diabetic. That explains why sometimes moods change and why I cant share a big pot of Ice cream. For Stacy, It was wise to call 911. One should NEVER giv a diabetic anythoing to eat or drink when the situation goes into high or low. At least thats what I was told by Doctors. :)

    - No name given

  • November 10, 2009 4:01 p.m.

    well i have been with my current boyfriend eli now for three months. and on our first date he luckily already knew i was a diabetic . so he asked me as we ate dinner if i had checked my sugar and took my medicine at all today. But i think he got a wake up call just has serious diabetes really is. cause i had bought myself a new meter the one touch the one u code. and i had lost it. but he noticed i started acting not myself and became extremly dizzy and thirsty and just was not feeling well. i ended up misplacing the meter. and luckily he found it . and i checked my sugar it was way above my goal it was over200 houndred. he got very scared and thought i was going to die. i calmly told him im not going to die. and took my medicine . now we just make sure i eat better and have a snack depending on my sugar. latley it has been running between 90 to 140. my doctor wants me less then a 100 before meals and 130 to 150 after.

    - chrystal hart

  • October 31, 2009 8:00 a.m.

    I am a divorced, single father, raising three children for the past four years. I have dated three women over this time and have told them all on the first date that I am a diabetic. All three women responded with interest and would often ask if I had my glucose tabs, did you test, don't forget your insulin? This does need to be talked about if the person is someone that you will be on future dates with.

    - Brad

  • October 30, 2009 9:25 a.m.

    Insulin-dependent for 46 years & the I-can-do-it-myself type, I wasn't as open as I might have been about it.  Now closing in on 60, still independent, single & a workplace trainer for medical emergencies -- I find I still need permission from professionals sometimes to do the right thing for myself.  Now I wonder if I might have thought about dating guys with an interest in how this disease effects me...I'd been diabetic for 25 years before I'd ever heard about a partner giving his/her partner insulin.  I was clueless.Wisdom tells me need-to-know sharing on that first date will speak volumes.

    - Sherry

  • October 28, 2009 2:56 p.m.

    I think each person should know himself or herself well enough to figure out what information you are comfortable sharing on a first date. Yes, if you don't want to explain why you are cutting all sugars and going "diet" on everything you eat or drink then let that person know. And if you are going out in public and are prone to have your blood sugar drop at times of stress or other activity you definitely want to let the person know that if you start acting differently you may need some assistance. In the 20 years that I have been going out socially, either on dates or with people I have just met, I will tell the people I am out with that I am diabetic for safety reasons. Afterall, the people you are dating/socializing with are supposed to accept you for who you are and diabetes is part of your life.

    - Regine

  • October 28, 2009 11:18 a.m.

    I didn't know my date was a type 1 diabetic and on the third date his sugar got low and I didn't know what was going on or what to do. I was familiar about type 2 diabetics but not type 1 and they are very different. We were out in public and I didn't know what was wrong with him so I went to a pay phone and dialed 911 and an ambulance came in the middle of a busy city, gave him glucose and within 20 minutes he was fine. If I had known to give him something with sugar in it, we would have been fine. So PLEASE tell your date about your diabetes and tell them what to do if something goes wrong! We've been together almost 8 years now so don't be afraid to tell someone about your health.

    - Stacy

  • October 28, 2009 10:23 a.m.

    I have always had positive experiences informing my date that I have diabetes. It makes me more comfortable throughout the date and usually the person I am with has a relative or a friend with Diabetes, so they are always more understanding than I would expect.

    - Katja

  • October 16, 2009 8:50 p.m.

    Great article!

    - Carolyn

  • October 14, 2009 1:18 p.m.

    If you are going to a date where eating is the prime activity I would mention diabetes. Otherwise I would wait until the relationship is becoming serious.

    - Gigi

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