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  • Dec. 1, 2009

    Coping with stress — What role models teach us

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

7 comments posted

At a recent neighborhood event, a woman shared with us some of the challenges she's facing. Her husband is in the military and in a combat zone. At the same time, her teenage daughter is struggling with a chronic illness. One of our neighbors made the comment, "It's a miracle that we all don't wind up in a psychiatric hospital."

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

It made me think for a moment about the incredible heroism, resilience and tenacity demonstrated each week in the comments posted on this blog. Stories of post-traumatic stress disorders, chronic medical illnesses and painful relationships. How is it that most of us continue to move forward and somehow survive despite life's unfairness?

At the gathering, we talked about our role models — and the characteristics that enable them to survive and even thrive. We identified some common themes:

  • Connectedness. Having family and friends to reach out to when times are tough.
  • Faith. A belief in a power or energy over and above ourselves.
  • Balance. Knowing that we can't help others if we neglect ourselves.
  • Focus. The ability to focus on a goal and eliminate distractions.

We are hardy and we are resilient. And with help from family and friends — and with faith — we can survive and go the distance.

7 comments posted

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  • January 6, 2010 7:27 a.m.

    I'm an atheist, too. I have faith that there is no higher power... and I was trained as a physicist. That being said, I look for people I admire and whose example I can follow. The chair of my department is such a person: kind, patient, supportive, smart, and funny. Of course the difference between having faith in the an admirable person and the existence of a higher power is that people have defects and fail from time to time, but depending on how one constructs one's personal god, the god(s) does not have to have defects and never needs to fail. That's a significant difference. I wish my role models were more god-like; a benevolent god would offer me more comfort.

    - Cindy

  • December 20, 2009 7:20 p.m.

    I too believe in an energy that is universal. My belief is panintheisitc. Put more simply, God is both an energy outside of us and within us. What is the power that keeps the stars in the heavens? There is more out there that empowers the universe as a whole and each of us individually. Barbara A "Cry Depression, Celebrate Recovery: - soon to be released.

    - BArbara A

  • December 8, 2009 5:47 a.m.

    I find it dangerous to think, that there is a higher power. People tend to pray or hope instead of taking charge. Also if they are stricken by a tragedy, it makes them wonder what they did wrong to deserve it.

    - Eve

  • December 7, 2009 6:14 p.m.

    to homam: If you believe in physics then you understand the concept of an energy that is universal- it is everywhere present, and is affected by our belief. Our life is what we believe. to J: Please find someone you can talk to- we all have our 'stuff' and holding it in only makes it worse...talk to someone... To Appleby: Hang in there! Keep the Faith! You are a positive point of Light!

    - chadou

  • December 5, 2009 4:50 a.m.

    How can I acquire a belief in a power above myself if I am an atheist?

    - homam

  • December 2, 2009 6:38 p.m.

    I think my problem is reaching out for help. I tend to not ask for help, because I don't want to burden others or I feel ashamed. But I know I don't have to go it alone (in fact, when I try to do that, I end up even more stressed and sometimes physically ill). Help is out there. No one is alone.

    - J

  • December 2, 2009 4:27 a.m.

    I was downsized out of my job in May, and fortunately was able to find another fairly quickly. The problem is that the new job is extremely stressful; it gives me responsibilities that constantly make me feel that I am making some kind of big mistake. (So far the few mistakes I have made have been rectified with no more than irritation fallout). My boss is very busy and expects me to solve things myself. I do not feel up to it. In todays climate I cant quit. I have a strong faith but no local support.

    - Appleby

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