Depression (major depression)

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• January 4, 2012 10:30 p.m.

  coming from asia i am glad both xmas and new year have slipped by. i agreed with most of the comments here and likewise i have become almost a recluse. well my beloved dog passed away a week before xmas from cancer. imagine he was looking well and then futile trips to the vets made such memories painful. i lived alone with my 4 dogs and i always looked forth to celebrating holidays with them. not anymore this year. life has never been the same. i am on medication but like a well of trapped emotions, it would be let loose suddenly.i find myself tearing lots and i cannot wait to have the next holiday chinese new year slipped by quickly...

  - john

• December 16, 2011 11:47 p.m.

  The comments here are heartfelt and sincere and very real, to any of us having experienced depression first hand. I wish I could say the same for the Dr's post, but it seems glib, patronizing, and a general glossing over of the obvious.... Smile, Make Nice, and All will be OK. I appreciate the sentiment, but I have Been There, and Sadly, Done That, too often to know that is not True. I suppose I hoped more from a stellar Dr., given that all of us TRY so hard.

  - Thea

• June 5, 2011 6:51 p.m.

  I am diagnosed with depression and it hurts. It causes low energy and this paralyzing nervousness. I gain weight. I have been reading weightlossfordummiesupdatedinformation.com some of the pages will help. I also take 4 different medications and I am saved and pray regularly I hope this helps.

  - Tabetha

• December 20, 2010 2:09 a.m.

  Thank you Susan for your comment.. I used to spend the holiday's in depressed ,yet I am making peace with myself and illness. Like other health challenges , I am learning to manage it with fiends and professional support. So, when my fantasy Christmas past does work or meet family expectations or mine. I get to create a new traditions.. (help someone else, buy small gifts at the dollor tree.. spend time with friends of choose) and most of all "Celebrate myself and the wonders of the season. " To cope with anxiety, I have spend alot of time cleaning to plan a holiday meal ...yet I decided I would perfer to go out and called a friend who cooks... Smile. .(: So ,I am learning to find things that make me happy ....Saying yes or no ... and remembeing that those who have passed are with me spirit. I responsilbe for taking care of myself and knowing that loved and lovable. Happy holidays.

  - Denise

• December 3, 2010 8:00 a.m.

  I find the holidays increasinly intolerable each year. The painful memories combined with currently battling bipolar disorder and PTSD and ADD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (is this real?) has left me a fragmented, broken person. I try to ignore all of the holiday hoopla because I'm only reminded that I lost custody of my girls (don't drink, do drugs and was never abusive and yet my ex husband and his parents took my girls from me without my having been given a reason). I've gone through tons of jobs and now have no belief in myself that I can keep one. I'm on four meds and still depressed. So so frustrating. I never get invited to holiday events, haven't for years. I'm 43. I'm embarrassed by this 'woe is me' but writing a little bit about this helps. I have been told I should be a model too many times to count. This is an insidious inside thing which often unwhittingly conveys itself to every new person I meet. It's like being the only person who doesn't know she has a trail of toilet paper following after her from the public restroom. I've almost become a recluse. I wonder if there is anything to hope for. Still, I definitely wish all of you a heart warming holiday season.

  - Valarie

• November 5, 2010 1:59 p.m.

  I have two mental illnesses-Schizophrenia and Depression. I have been in treatment for these disorders for 14 years now. For me what works is self help books like "what to say when you talk to yourself" and life 101. When I'm felling down or can't pinpoint my feelings-cuz sometimes i just don't know what i'm feeling- I do my best to get to the library and look for books that interest me. I then concentrate on my strengths and begin to play;to create art for art's sake and to just have fun- it helps me to forget myself for a while, express what i can't put into words, and feel like i accomplished something for the day or week or month , year or life. It helps me build my self esteem in knowing that I can do something. It's not perfect and it might not be "new" but I did it and got to play again- sometimes I laugh sometimes cry- I reach out to people in either happy or sad states to share goodness or to get help- for "those whom we support in life hold us up". The best time to make a friend is before you need them"-Ethel Berrymoor

  - Diane

• January 17, 2010 4:29 p.m.

  I have been told I have fibromyalgia. Is this just another way of depression showing itself? I have aches and pains in different parts of my body every day.... have been on depression meds for several years and am 55 years old.

  - Lanette

• January 5, 2010 2:03 a.m.

  The holidays are hard when you're dealing with issues related to depression. It's hard to be around so many people when you're feeling worthless and like you don't belong. It's hard to feel wanted when you're easily lost in a crowd. It's also very difficult to watch people socialize effortlessly when you feel so uncomfortable you'd like to blend into the wall.. All i could do this year was try my best to pace myself. I took a lot of "time outs" in a spare room where I could be by myself and cry or just compose my emotions. I tried to stick by people I trusted and who know about my anxiety/ depression in hopes that they could be a strong support system for me and to help me make necessary exits when I became overwhelmed or upset. It worked about 50% of the time which was still better than doing it all on my own. I made it through the holidays, even though every day I felt so insecure and hopeless I could cry, by maintaining the harsh but realistic view point that Everyone is happy to celebrate the holidays and it's not their fault I feel like crap. So I sucked it up as best I could, allowing myself "time outs" when needed and by keeping myself busy with tasks so i didn't have time to really think...In the end, all anyone can do is their best

  - st

• January 2, 2010 7:57 p.m.

  I hate any and all holidays just brings me pain & bad memories. it is not easy to make new memories especially when you shut everybody out. no pqin thqt way.

  - ann

• December 30, 2009 5:27 a.m.

  Missing loved ones who have passed on is normal. Sharing fond memories of them helps. Missing loved ones who live too far away for a holiday visit is also normal. Long distance phone calls are the next best thing to being there. When old traditions become impossible, it's time to start new ones. Make a point of helping someone else just a bit. It helps take the emphasis off your own unhappiness. It might also make that someone's holiday a little brighter.

  - Diwiyana

• December 26, 2009 3:23 p.m.

  The holidays are a tricky time as the family get-togethers can be counterproductive, some families can be your best support group and some can become a slug-fest when they are in the same room. You need a good support group and thats not negotiable. You also need to watch all the sweets that are very plentiful at the holiday dinners. The sweets can wreak havoc on you and your moods which will feed into the family frenzy. Get plenty of fluids and vitamins and pass up on the family craziness if you can.

  - John

• December 24, 2009 9:47 a.m.

  My main challenge at Christmas time is missing those who are no longer with me, an those who are unable to be with me because of distance or other reasons. Another thing that challanges me is the loss of the fantasy I held of my original marrige being intact, my home being the one in which my children grew up, and them returning with their children to a Christmas that is like the ones at my parents home when my children were small. In other words, the world the same, different generations moving into the same roles.

  - a

• December 23, 2009 12:11 p.m.

  Here's my mantra for the past: I did the best I could with what I had at that time. And it is true! Holiday over-doing is rampant. Know that you don't have to do EVERYTHING - even "traditions" - every year. Do what you can manage and enjoy and celebrate what you did. The other thing that always helps me is I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS. It is very hard for me to just BE THERE when someone I love is hurting, sad, grieving, struggling with decisions. It is easy for me to suck up their feelings like a sponge...but SURPRISE! Being stressed out on their behalf helps neither of us. (Knowing and doing are two different things here!) I think we unconsciously build up expectations around holidays and special occasions -- and we need to realize this and give them a reality check...including the expectations others have of us.

  - Susan