Depression (major depression)

Free

E-Newsletters

Subscribe to receive the latest updates on health topics. About our newsletters

• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• May 12, 2012 8:05 p.m.

  I'm 20yrs old and a member of the crips, I never thought I make it this long. I dnt have a real relationship with parents, and I feel alone all the time. I dnt believe I love, and isolate myself from people. I've been through alot,majority of my friends I care about are in jail, and that bothers me. I don't have have a support system, and to think of it I never look up to anyone. My best friend is all I care about, his life is all that great either. I have to fend for my set and myself by all means. I have no meaning in life, I not close to anyone but my best friend, who is stressing himself. I do feel that I'm a curse and feel that I don't have a soul. I don't even love myself, when people see me they probably think that I'm just fine. I very attracted, well manner, but feel empty deep inside. My life I picture myself in is lonely, dead, or in jail. Everyday my will to live gets weaker, I look back in my childhood and see sadness. Im look as the wise and smart, but deep down feel like I've failed myself and peers. I commend strong will human beings. I believe your surrounding and the people your surrounded with affects a person. I lost my grandmother on my father side during my freshmen yr in highschool, I was dearly close to her, and feel like she was the only person who truly care and love me. But now she gone I have no guidence or purpose to go on. Girls, clothes, or materialistic things matters to me. I'm trap with burdens and my demons, I wish life came with a manualTHx

  - Tyreek

• May 8, 2012 3:43 a.m.

  I have dysthimia, and I have had varying bouts of more severe depression for many years. I took Paxil when it was new, when I was a teenager, and a year later I tried to commit suicide, back before it was known to create suicidal thoughts in young people. After that I took Prozac and all it did was create apathy. I have had a rough life personally and it hasn't gotten much easier. I have a wonderful husband but he doesn't understand and isn't convinced that psychology is a science. I did talk therapy on and off when I could for 7 years with a great therapist although I can't afford it; he was with a clinic that was free for me then I moved. Talk therapy gave me an insight into myself and life events and taught me that I am strong and tools for managing it. I still struggle sometimes but it is not near as bad as before therapy. If you are able to do talk therapy, I highly recommend it. Good luck to you all and please get help because you are worth it!

  - SM

• May 6, 2012 10:52 p.m.

  Hi everyone this is my first time ive seen any kind of thread like this. I remember being depressed since 6th grade(im about to graduate high school) i have been seeing a school councillor for about 2 months and she sent me to another councillor outside of school. I have had very bad times in the last few months and have had countless suicidal thoughts almost daily i just feel like it would be so much easier than just living. I wouldn't say i always feel depressed i just feel numb or emotionless and when i do feel anything its usually sadness or anger. I do have times where i feel happy but only when im social or high on anything. I dont feel socially awkward or anything like that but even tho i have a lot of friends i dont think any one is there for me. Im supposed to see a psychiatrist this week to get some medication but im worried about abusing it to much.. i am too nervous about becoming a failure and if i think i am headed in that direction i might end up commiting suicide.. i just dont wanna be here anymore. I just want to be happy....

  - Taylor

• March 25, 2012 7:57 p.m.

  Hi Guys Just wanted to come back on here and say that my mood has lifted the last few days with the sunny weather. I felt let down lately when I didn't get a promotion in work after 8 years, instead it went to someone in the job for 6 months. I took it badly but i'm getting over it now. I just waned to let you guys know that things can get better. If we had cancer we wouldn't give up or give in, so lets keep fighting :)

  - Annie

• March 7, 2012 11:52 p.m.

  After the loss of a family two years ago I went into a depression and for months I didn't seem like I would feel better. I got over that and then I recently lost a family member I felt very close to. I didn't react like I did before. I think the stress of being in school and losing a lot of support from my husbands family to continue my education made me depressed before this. Then the loss of someone threw me into this deep depression that I feel like I will never get out of. I have never felt so sad/angry/hurt and I have never felt so alone. My husband does not believe in counsolers he thinks he can help me. I can't talk to him about this.... I don't know what to do. Please someone tell me what will help me. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense because I am in a fog.

  - S

• March 3, 2012 9:39 a.m.

  Margo find your friend call your doctor or minister talk to a family member or neighbor tell someone you know how you feel do not let yourself be alone with this these people will want to know that you are feeling so low let them know let them know

  - j

• March 2, 2012 1:37 a.m.

  losing a job which meant everything has left me feeling hopeless, lonely and un productive. There's nothing out there for me, I'm just existing. I lost the will to socialize feel lost. Putting up appearances is getting harder, I feel like I'm choking can't breath no one, nothing there. only loniness

  - margo

• February 28, 2012 9:58 a.m.

  Thanks, Annie, for your words. There are some of us who feel we should be anonymous because we don't know what else to do. It's such an energy-sapping habit to put on the I'm fine face when I am at work, but inside there is another me I have to hide. I feel like I am fooling everyone and that is lonely. I don't know what will ever change that.

  - j

• February 25, 2012 8:36 p.m.

  Hi J I completely understand. I feel the same. I feel so worthless, like I have nothing to add, I have become a total recluse. I avoid social interations like the plague. My partner is so sweet too and supportive, but is the complete opposite of me. Its hard for him to understand. He tries everything to help. I feel its so unfair on him. My father also suffered badly with depression, and my grandmother.

  - annie

• February 18, 2012 1:52 p.m.

  Does anyone just keep wondering why they are doing everything not quite right? I find it impossible to feel any pride in myself. I feel so alone, even in groups. None of my friends know how little I think of myself. My husband is a very sweet, patient man but does not understand how depression just doesn't go away. How does anyone ever, ever develop an ego? I have tried so many combinations of anti-depressants and my therapist tries to get me to exercise, do yoga, mindfulness, etc. I just cannot do it.

  - j

• February 18, 2012 12:10 p.m.

  Hi Eloise If you found a worrying lump you would tell your doctor. If it was cancer you would be treated.Suicidal thoughts are also a symptom of another illness.It is nothing to be ashamed of. Tell your psychologist, and they will help you. Just like a lump it won't go away on its own, neither will those thoughts. Ask for help.

  - Annie

• February 13, 2012 11:22 a.m.

  Eloise, You must absolutely tell your psychologist! Do it now, nothing "wrong" will happen to you.

  - Juan

• February 11, 2012 2:57 p.m.

  I'm afraid tell my psychologist that I am having suicidal thoughts. What will happen if I tell her?

  - Eloise

• February 9, 2012 9:55 p.m.

  Hello everyone. I suffered a complete breakdown in 1998. I was severely depressed and was suffering panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, obsessive thoughts, and I was completely disengaged from my family. Nothing worked for me until we tried ECT. I recovered quickly with few if any side effects and have not had a relapse of any kind. I take Effexor daily and have been doing great. I am starting to write a book about my experience with depression and recovery. If anyone has any questions for me, I would be happy to tell you about my experiences. Be Well!

  - Robert

• February 9, 2012 12:24 p.m.

  I wrote in my earlier port "Anyone with a similar situation who can share any tip"... I mean "share insight" :)

  - Juan

• February 9, 2012 12:04 p.m.

  I feel trapped: about a year ago I was prescribed aripiprazol and it help me a lot, but I soon realized that my "social" network and the circumstances of my life at the moment didn't support me "feeling well". I didn't have a job, nor friends with whom share or do fun stuff (I don't remember how to laugh), etc. So the situation end up being the same as before, if not a little worse by being aware of the toll caused by the malady. Anyone with a similar situation who can share any tip?

  - Juan

• February 8, 2012 12:53 p.m.

  I've found the drug Lyrica (pregabalin) very helpful for my social anxiety, and just as a general mood booster.

  - Annie

• February 3, 2012 9:59 a.m.

  Everyting in moderation. An hour brisk walk every day by the sea, has really helped my mood. And large doses of fish oils. I'm starting to look forward to things again. On a positive note it would be great to hear from people who have improved/recovered from this illness. What treatments did you use? Medication/Therapy/Natural medicine/Exercise.

  - Annie

• February 1, 2012 12:33 p.m.

  Have any of you experienced this? When I exercise too intensely, I tend to lapse back into my depression symptoms. I have been really hitting the cardio hard the last few times and have gone back to sleeping too much and feeling my mood has lowered. Is there such a thing as exercising too much that you defeat your meds? I am in my 60's so don't know how this fits into the equation. Any feedback from peops who have been there?

  - Mary

• January 30, 2012 6:49 p.m.

  Annie_ I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes just taking that first step can be so anxiety ridden for me but there are ways around that now. Think of texting and emails and such. While they are not the only communication I use that sometimes when I want to keep in touch but don't want to deal with the reactions or have the energy for someone else and their input/issues. I feel helpless sometimes because of my partner. Because I feel like such a drain I sometimes take their flack and put in on my own back. I have to learn to stand up for myself nad not accept all the issues they put at my door and realize the truth for me vs the true issues. This is hard b/c my partner is military so there is no middle and often I am the receiver for their frustrating days. I would like to get to know you all better and reach some middle if its possible. Any suggestions?

  - Jaymie

• January 29, 2012 8:18 p.m.

  Hi everyone. Its good to share, I'm 29 and I've been really suffering for the last 6-9 months. I have become so anti-social, I am virtually a recluse. I have horrible anxiety attacks in public. I drink on my own to self medicate.Everything seems pointless. I am due to return to work in 3 weeks, but I can't face it. I can't face much to be honest. It has put so much strain on my relationship with my lovely partner who has tried everything to help me. I was such a different person when he met me, happy and sociable, and with a zest for life. Now i am empty, I feel like a failure, and the loneliness of this disease is overwhelming. I did try anti depressants once in uni, but I didn't like the side effects. Maybe I should try again. GP seemed hesitant. Therapy was helpful, maybe I should return. I'm on fish oils and Vitamin B supplements. St john's wort did not help.

  - annie

• January 8, 2012 7:12 p.m.

  While I don't feel depressed any longer, I still have issues. For instance, I don't have any desire to keep going. I feel so lonely sometimes!

  - Marisol

• January 4, 2012 5:03 p.m.

  Katie, I feel the same way. I think it's good that you force yourself to do things and don't completely give up. I think about suicide as well but then I think about how it would hurt the people I love and that stops me. I find that exercising, and especially yoga, really help. I do the slow kind, not the power stuff that everyone is into. I also find that if I keep myself very busy, I can keep going. Night time is the worst. There are no distractions. One of the most difficult things to do when you are depressed is to do things when you feel like giving up. The fact that you don't give up is hopeful. Cling to that hope and keep moving and doing.

  - Andrea

• January 1, 2012 8:32 a.m.

  I feel that I am serving a lifetime sentence to depression. Taking medication seems not or mildly effective. Force myself to do tasks. I wonder why life is so hard. Think about death and sometimes suicide. Death is less frightening when you know it will stop the pain. Use alcohol to relieve momentary relief from sadness. No change insight.

  - Katie

• November 3, 2011 8:38 p.m.

  Ebony - Just don't give up. Much of what you are saying about yourself is similar to my inside overwhelming feelings. Ask your pcp for an opinion as to whom to see. Talk to friends, relatives, or coworkers. My guess is that many of them have seen or are seeing someone. Mine came from my gyn/nurse practitioner at a regular check-up when she saw the distress I was in and gave me a few names. (It took me over a year to call.) I really like the woman I did call, and she referred me to a psychiatric nurse practitioner who prescribes meds for me. They are wonderful people. We have had a lot of trouble finding a combination of meds and therapy for me, and we are still not there, but I won't trade them in for anything. I know they care. It seems to me that it should not take "a long time to get the appointment" when you are really hurting. But there are people out there who were meant to be in the profession and can truly communicate their caring to you. Just keep trying. (Also, I know how long a week can be when you are waiting for an answer to your plea for understanding and help. I hope you are still checking this site.)

  - j