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    Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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  • March 26, 2010

    Regret: Forget the past and embrace today

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

12 comments posted

As the winter turns into spring, the eyes of the sporting world focus on baseball — still America's national pastime. And I think about a talented young pitcher I once knew.

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Described as a "natural," he had an arm like a rocket and could consistently throw a fastball over 90 mph. Although he was gifted, he languished in the minor leagues for several years. As often happens to young people with more talent than sense, he didn't invest in himself in terms of his well-being and physical fitness. By the time he realized how he'd shortchanged himself, his career was over.

Each spring he has that ache in his soul, wondering what his life might have been like had he taken better care of himself. This reminds me of a quote by an American writer, "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'"

We all have regrets. Each of us has something we wish we'd handled better. But that was yesterday. Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never arrive. All we have is today. So how can we maximize our gifts and skills today?

12 comments posted

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  • April 7, 2010 4:34 p.m.

    Our past, even if it was bad, sculpts us into the person we are today. God can take all things and bring good out of them. I have survived incest in my family, a son who was hooked on drugs and went to the mental hospital and jail, more than once. I have went through three bouts of cancer with my mother (2 actually, one was a false alarm), I almost died when giving birth to my first child, and domestic violence, just to name a few. But, God is faithful! I am so blessed! I have a wonderful husband, four beautiful adult children, 10 wonderful grandchildren and the freedom to go to church and worship God! Thank you Lord for today! Jackie, write a list of your blessings!

    - Blessed Betsy

  • April 7, 2010 11:43 a.m.

    I like the "done is done" statement. My own statement usually is: "I did the best I could with what I had at the time." For most things, forgiveness is exactly what is needed - forgive yourself, too.

    - Susan

  • April 3, 2010 4:33 p.m.

    For myself, no regrets doesn't quite work when i've really wronged another... this is where my relationship with God comes in. He gives me the gift of confessing my sins to Him and His forgiveness through His love expressed in Christ. He also reminds me in his Word to confess my faults to another and to ask others' forgiveness. I agree many things we've done, we can just let go of and start over, learn from mistakes -but when it comes to having truly sinning against another, or God, the only way I can move on to "today", is to ask for forgiveness from Him, and hopefully them. God will always give it, even where people might not be able to. Doing that, helps keep me from wanting to repeat something wrong, and have to ask forgiveness again....

    - Janet

  • April 2, 2010 4:57 p.m.

    I have a whole litany of regrets which could get me down if I allowed that to happen. I sometimes ask myself, why did I binge eat as a teenager and cause all those health rpoblems.? Or, why did I blow that internship? Or, why didn't I marry that guy in 1975? Why, why, why. Using all that energy to ask why leads to taking focus away from today's goals. So I choose to live in the present. Barbara A.

    - Barbara A

  • March 31, 2010 7:27 a.m.

    Amanda, you hold great wisdom. I am what I am (thanks for that phrase goes to Popeye) today thanks to all I lived in the past. According to a powerful program, I neither regret nor forget the past. Instead I learn from my many mistakes in order to consciously evolve into a more respectful sharing and loving neighbor to all.

    - Two Crow

  • March 31, 2010 12:59 a.m.

    I try to forget my past but it keeps jumping in my way. I was layed off my job 5 years ago been living of savings, have a place to live but i have had so much trouble finding ajob-i don't drive i regret and no one helps me forget it one of my sisters rubs it and my lousy in my. i can't do anything right. when i was working no one could forget things i did in the past including my boss. here i am dredging up and thinking of every stupid thing i've and can't think of anything good thathas ever happened to me.

    - jackie

  • March 30, 2010 10:50 p.m.

    If you like where you are in life right now - You have to Bless each step that got you there. Good or Bad the very step you took aided in getting you to right now... Yes - right now is all we have.

    - Amanda

  • March 30, 2010 4:47 p.m.

    My Grandmother had a saying: "Done is done." I use it when I find myself, like a small terrier, worrying some past event to death. It helps me remember that the past is what it is and no rewriting is possible. The only thing I can change is the present and, perhaps, the future that the present becomes. Her simple saying helps bring me back to the present moment and what I CAN change. Done IS done!

    - Cathy

  • March 30, 2010 4:09 p.m.

    What a great article. I failed at a high profile job I took about 5 years ago - I ended up quitting because it was too much stress in my life. I have never gotten over it because I think others see me as a failure. But there is nothing I can do about it, right? Other than to move on and forget about it.

    - Tim

  • March 27, 2010 4:38 p.m.

    Edward-thank you for the post. I think you raise an important point, and something which points to an epidemic in this country - fear. I think people are afraid to break outside the norm, and risk ruffling the safety that they have worked so hard to keep. I would recommend a book by inspirational speaker, Andy Feld called "Wake Up! Your Life is Calling." The author offers valuable insights about how to live a happy life, one which takes you on a journey of fulfilling your dreams. thanks for listening, Kim

    - Kim

  • March 27, 2010 12:21 p.m.

    How can we maximize our gifts & skills today? Push oneselve to start! I recommend reading Winston Churchhill's book entitled Painting as a Past-time. He first stood before a canvas unable to start his first painting until ... you'll have to read it to discover how he became a painter on the side. Surely he had a regret or two in life...

    - Carol

  • March 27, 2010 12:32 a.m.

    I totally agree. Life moves so fast and before you know it your 30, 40, 50, 60 and then 70 years old asking yourself where did all your time go? Each day cannot be taken for granted and we all must remember to stay in the present

    - Bryan

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