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  • Stress blog

  • April 16, 2010

    Lighten your soul: Let go of past failures

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

9 comments posted

There's something therapeutic about throwing out old stuff. Whether it's household utensils that we don't use or clothes that we no longer wear, it just feels good to unburden ourselves of things that tie us down or hold us back.

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If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

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On a recent rainy spring day, I was sifting through files that I hadn't opened in many years. I came across a folder from the year 2000 involving a project that fizzled. A number of well-meaning people, including myself, devoted enormous energies to this particular program, but the timing was not right and the program was dissolved. As I reflected on that experience, I felt disappointment and frustration that so much effort was spent by so many people. What a waste. Or was it?

Only by looking at our so-called failures can we really learn and grow. In this case, the lesson was real clear: If we embark on a new journey or undertake a challenging task and find we're not making headway, we need to be willing to step back and reassess. If we're just running around in circles, we're well advised to close the chapter and save our energy and focus for another day.

Have others had similar insights?

9 comments posted

blog index
  • December 25, 2012 10:12 p.m.

    Lower prices on fresh prodcue. Also, I've never learned how to make meals using most fresh prodcue ingredients. I seem to only know how to prepare them as side dishes. Given that, it tends to take a lot of ingredients for a single healthy recipe. It's simply too expensive to purchase lots of prodcue when the food spoils so quickly.

    - Bouchra

  • August 16, 2010 8:51 a.m.

    Living with failures hasn't been easy for me,previous life experiences have hindered my progress in so many ways. Learning to cope with regrets requires practice,support and belief in oneself

    - Abby

  • June 8, 2010 12:51 p.m.

    Live with no regrets, and if you have regrets to let God take those. Just lay those things at His feet, and start living today with the newness of what God wants to do. It says His mercies are new every morning, and He means that for us. We can take Him at His word. I think so many people miss out on everything God wants to do because they're living in the past. They're living in these regrets of yesterday, and you can't... you cannot do it. You can't do it without the Lord. You have to give your heart to the Lord. So live with no regrets, live honestly before God and be fully present, and worship God with everything you've got.

    - Paul

  • May 6, 2010 10:08 a.m.

    I've been a judge at a St. Louis piano event for the past thirteen years. This event has been held at a local university for the past five years. Over forty years ago, I was employed at the university's music library. I held this job for one year. Unfortunately, the job ended on a sour note. I simply didn't fulfill the expecations needed. Of course, there has been deeply rooted sadness over this. So when I judge there, I carry a mixture of remorse of this "failure" and joy over being a judge. Upon reflection, it was not a lost year because I learned a lot from cataloguing records and was able to use this in teaching for the past forty years. The key is to reflect on the lessons learned, not the loss. Barbara A

    - Barbara A

  • April 22, 2010 11:04 a.m.

    Hi Carol: Great insights...yes,, we shoud never close chapters too soon. Be well and safe out there...Dr. Ed

    - Dr. Ed

  • April 20, 2010 3:17 p.m.

    I used to write novels when I was in college. My English prof advised me to save them and read them again in 25 years or so; she said it would tell me more about myself, and about my childrens generation, than I would currently believe -- and she was correct. I have also kept journals most of my life, and reading 10-year-old journals is amazingly enlightening. Keep your writing and review it in ten or twenty years and you will learn a lot..

    - Appleby

  • April 18, 2010 10:31 p.m.

    My mother did not unburden herself with things she did not use. She even kept her college notebooks! I'm gratefut she saved so much. Being one of five children I was able to receive some of these belongings & learn more about her life after her death. This has helped me cope with her loss to cancer. What may burden you, may some day be therapeutic to significant others...

    - Carol

  • April 17, 2010 11:28 a.m.

    I agree that failures are the best teachers. I will add one thing to your lesson: sometimes what appears to be running around in circles to one is indeed making headway to another. And what a shame it would be to close the chapter too soon.

    - carol

  • April 17, 2010 1:34 a.m.

    I agree completely. We need to be able to have a holistic view of our goals so that we can be open to changing our processes to reach them. I do have to say that failures are the absolute best way to learn however. As I was beginning a role as an analyst, I spent several weeks to months analyzing an issue due to using an inefficient method. Looking back, it is a bit disappointing that time was lost, but it is also fulfilling knowing what I have learned from the experience.

    - Stephen

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