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• July 16, 2010 10:48 a.m.

  I have a client who is medical director for a rehab hospital. This kid, while he might not ever rejoin his combat unit, seems to have the drive to achieve significant progress. If, that is, he can keep that attitude. There are stages in the rehab process, just like there are stages in depression or anger or loss. However, and at the same time, he, for whatever reason, just might not be the kind of individual who succumbs to stress and depression. The "I will do whatever it takes" line, as others have already pointed out, is just another cliche. I can hear someone saying: "Now Johnny, you're just going to have to do whatever it takes..." There is a motivational book with a title similar to this line. As another post mentions, this just falls a little flat.

  - Lee

• July 14, 2010 4:25 p.m.

  And what if it's not a minor inconvenience. I live with my husband who is 6 1/2 years post stroke. He had previously had a heart attack, three angioplasties, high blood pressure and cholesterol and smoked. You would think that would be enough of a wake-up call. He was very involved in sports and after working at a job for years that he hated the last couple of years before the stroke he had a job change and he loved going to work. Then the stroke hit. It effected his side. His right arm is basically a paperweight. He limps and has cognitive defects. Going back to any type of work now impossible. He is able to drive and speak which is very lucky. The first two years he put his all into PT and still wished he had died. He played guinea pig for a research Dr who told him he would restore the use of his arm. He has his social functions with friend and is courteous to them. He still smoke and eats anything he pleases. He's verbally/emotionally abusive with me. My docs tell me to let it roll off my back, to think of him as brain damaged. Easier said than done when you live with someone. We've been married for 35 years. So do I leave him to have some peace or honor the vows I made. BTW if I'm sick, he sees me as being weak and doesn't talk to me. Heck of a note, huh?

  - Anita

• July 14, 2010 3:28 a.m.

  I'm inclined to agree with Alan and Virginia.

  - .Roberta

• July 10, 2010 6:12 p.m.

  The blog message itself is a cliche!

  - Virginia

• July 10, 2010 5:13 a.m.

  These views remind me of "cognative dissonance" --where those with the strongest views one way or another are more likely to flip flop to the opposite view than those with more middle of the road views to being with. My guess is this young veteran the Dr. spoke of is gunning it, trying hard not to flip his view. His fighting spirit inspires doctors. The veteran is telling everyone to forget your goals and prognosis for me, I have my own, thank you just the same. Exchange your words if you like with each other, but I have better things to do with my time now--rehab. If that above theory is correct he is more apt to change his view over time (should things not go his way) than others.

  - Carol

• July 8, 2010 4:58 p.m.

  This is the challenge of the serenity poem: what do we have the power to change; what must we accept. I am dealing with a situation with my mother-in-law right now. Because of her cognitive decline, we found it necessary to move her into a care center. Even though she had injured herself at home several times, she refuses to accept living in an assisted-living situation. I am saddened that she is so unhappy. But her doctors and family have agreed that that this option was the best given many factors. Am I unreasonable to hope that acceptance will come?

  - Alma

• July 8, 2010 10:54 a.m.

  As an occasional reader and admirer of this blog and its overall mission, I must confess to being left feeling flat by the post. Not by the account of the young man described and his determination and willpower, and whose spirit is admirable. But, for one, I simply cannot relate. Without some measure of hard-nosed realism and perspective, one has to question this 'do whatever it takes attitude' so prevalent our culture. It seems a fantasy. A few months ago this blog featured a post on the serenity prayer, which I thought was right on the money, by contrast. The prospect of a seriously wounded and disabled young man being encouraged to rejoin his battalion does not seem, at least in my own fallible and unschooled opinon, perhaps not the healthiest aspiration. People get sick; people get wounded; people get old, decline and die. We live with our limitations. But life at all stages is about living. It's deeply disturbing to me the way the medical establishment seems to indulge in ruinously expensive heroics on their patients, out of their own fear of litigation, their pursuit of professional status, or the sadly typical and widely shared American aversion to facing our own mortality. Finiteness itself gives meaning to living--I think. Or am I totally off base here? Should we pull out all the stops all the time, costs to society and quality of life be damned?

  - Alan