Nutrition and healthy eating

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• March 20, 2013 8:17 a.m.

  Thanks Katie!!! We have taken our son to a behavioral therapist and she is working on exactly those coping techniques you mentioned. It's too soon to know whether that will work, but it is definitely encouraging to read your comments. God bless and continued progress for you and your son!

  - Scott

• March 15, 2013 11:10 a.m.

  This comment threat has helped a lot. SED describes my boyfriend perfectly - he only eats pepperoni pizza or chicken fingers and fries for meals, and select snack foods like bacon, cheez its, etc. I know it causes him a lot of anxiety, as people make fun of him for "eating like a kid", etc. I know he doesn't want to eat the way he does, and is embarrassed by it [though he doesn't let on to most people how extreme it is]. I want to help him without being too pushy. I haven't even showed him this article because I don't want to come across like I'm trying to "fix" him or anything. But reading this forum is definitely helpful! I myself am a foodie, who loves all kinds of different things, so this is an intimidating thing to deal with, but I want to understand as much as I can. I know this is probably awful, and wouldn't work with everyone, but we've found that if he's been drinking, sometimes he'll actually be more willing to try new things [that's how he found chicken fingers - for a long time he would only eat pizza] and doesn't get nauseous/sick. Obviously this isn't a preferred method [we can't just get him drunk all the time] but I guess that might mean it could be about relaxing? Just a thought.

  - Cassie

• March 15, 2013 12:33 a.m.

  I know, I know. I just posted, but as I read more comments, I definitely noticed more questions than helpful suggestions. I may be 23, but I can remember the good & bad parenting I dealt with in regard to my eating habits. 1. One comment said to let your child eat what they want, & to encourage the healthy foods they are interested in. Right on. My mom used to make a deal with me as a child - for every healthy thing I ate (things I liked), I would get a special prize, like Barbie clothes or quarters to buy my own stuff. 2. Don't shove food down your kid's throat when they don't want it. This causes so much anxiety over meals & food in general. I'm not surprised by how many commenters have issues now because of this (myself included). 3. Don't treat their habits awkwardly, or act embarrassed by it, both privately & publicly. A kid can tell & it makes them feel abnormal, as well as insecure because they feel the parent isn't proud to have them as their child - w/ or w/out the eating habits. They know they're different. Other kids at school make sure of that. Not making a fuss will have them thinking it's normal & they'll feel more confident in themselves (Thanks mom! =]). 4. Get some multivitamins in that child! I didn't learn how beneficial it was until a few years ago. Growing kids desperately need the nutrients. 5. Be upfront when the child asks you about SED. I obviously never knew until today, but I think knowing would have helped me early on. Hope

  - Courtney

• March 14, 2013 11:50 p.m.

  I'm 23 and have been a picky eater my whole life. Over the years, I've had many friends and adults try to "diagnose" me, or debate my eating habits - as if it's a life choice I've made. Today I had yet another friend send me an article about picky eaters. I didn't want to read it, but did so only because she's my best friend. Wow. I'm so glad I read the article. I have experienced almost everything it discussed about SED! I always knew I was pickier than most people, but never considered it being an eating disorder. While I've visited picky eater forums online, knowing there is an actual community of people like me helps to validate my habits as real, and not something I'm just being a baby about. Thank you! Some of y'all, as well as the article, asked how we may have gotten past certain aspects of SED. I have coached myself over the years about learning to like foods (even if they're just side dishes or kid meals) for the sake of having normal relationships with others and the ability to go to any restaurant. It has always been a struggle to accept my eating habits for what they are. I just don't like food! It doesn't help that I have never been one to eat large amounts of food in one meal either. A few years ago, I started taking a multivitamin when I saw they had chewables. That has made a tremendous difference in how I feel daily. I have more energy am not nearly as tired as I used to be. I now fully recognize the lack of nutrition due to my limited palate. -

  - Courtney

• February 1, 2013 7:11 p.m.

  Hi Scott, There is definitely help for your son. My son had a similar problem with food. At age 5, he ate 5 things. I found a very good Behavioral Therapist. First they taught him coping skills for anxiety - Deep Breathing Techniques, methods for stopping anxiety in its tracks, relaxation techniques which he could use to keep himself from getting anxious. Then using a very slow, methodical process we identified foods that were very similar to the ones he ate, so little by little he expanded the list of food that he ate. For example you mention that he likes dry cereal, try taking him to the store and letting him pick out a very similar cereal (ex: froot loops, cheerios with fruit, or trix). Use this to show him that similar foods can taste good. This can be done with breads (A progression might be from white, to italian, to potato, wheat, multigrain) Later try bagels or dinner rolls. My son now eats 100s of different types of foods. The coping skills are used before trying new foods, so the child is relaxed and doesn't get anxious. We continue to build upon this method combining foods to make sandwiches, pasta dishes (with or without sauces) and even healthy desserts). Rewards were given for progress made(Sticker charts representing new foods, or trips to the ice cream shop) The progression can be very slow, but sometimes a child surprises you. When we took my child to the store, there were all types of foods that he considered 'good' to try. Good luck

  - Katie

• January 29, 2013 11:06 p.m.

  My six year-old son displays all of the symptoms of selective eating disorder. He will only eat bacon, dry cereal, chicken fingers, corn chips and apples. Of course, he will eat most sweets. He is now starting to have a very difficult time concentrating in just about any setting including school. He is normal height, but very thin. We have taken him to his pediatrician, a doctor specializing in eating disorders and a pychiatrist. Nothing is working. He is the most wonderful, loving child in the world but I can see that his life is starting to be severely impacted. I have no idea what to do. His eating has been this way since he was 18 months, prior to that he would eat anything we put on his plate. Help.

  - Scott

• January 28, 2013 5:22 p.m.

  It's mad, i'm 30yrs old and this is the first time I've ever looked this up. I have spent years defending and trying to explain my eating habits to friends, family, work mates. Some people just except it as a part of who I am, while others just can't understand and want to debate it. I've never let it stop me doing anything like going out to a restaurant for a meal but it makes it all the more stressful and embarrassing depending who your out with. I don't eat any fruit or veg, my diet mainly consists of bread, cheese, potato and meat, everything plain. I don't think i'm unhealthy, i'm rarely sick, I believe that my body has adapted and gets what it needs from what i eat. It boils down to the look the smell and then the texture if it gets past the lips!! Everyone says " how do you know you don't like it if you won't try it?", well my response is, "is that not what your senses are for!!" because the last thing i tried was an onion, and i got sick everywhere!! If you think about it we came from caves,all that was on the menu was meat not fancy dishes and salads! My best mate is vegetarian, I refer to her as the herbivore and I'm the carnivore!!! I try to laugh about it all because at the end of the day this is me,but if I could change this one thing tomorrow i would.

  - flow

• November 17, 2012 1:18 p.m.

  PS I wish everyone on this site well. Growth, understanding, self-love and patience with self and others. Blessings~

  - Lisa

• November 17, 2012 12:56 p.m.

  My boyfriend is a picky eater and i love most all foods, pretty much am a foodie. I am educating myself to try and understand SED. He will eat bland or some sweet. Pumpkin but not squash or sweet potatoes or chocolate. Plain turkey sandwiches or plain hamburgs almost every day for lunch, popcorn or animal crackers after he works out, for dinner. Carrots and crackers. Chili, meatloaf, french fries and pizza. He wants to eat healthier (we both work out) and i know it involves going slow and being patient. We're looking for a healthy, don't have to fix it option for a snack/dinner that he'll try. When i mentioned bananas which he will eat, he said, 'I've never had bananas at night' so it's also just making slow changes. I said, you can have popcorn and animal crackers one or 2 nights and maybe try one new thing for one night to add nutrients. I am detaching when i need to. I try to add suggestions when he asks, otherwise i try and leave his eating to him. It is so beyond my experience and understanding. I appreciate the posts here. They help, thanks.

  - Lisa

• November 8, 2012 4:18 p.m.

  I am 21 years old and I have been picky all of my life. I have eaten the same 10-15 things all of my life and most are like pizza. I thought I was alone until today. I have been looking things up all day. I need help and dont know where to find it. Im sick all the time and never have energy to do anything. My son is almost 3 and I dont want him to be like me. I want to change. I have never tried things that most people love to eat everyday like hamburgers, steak, any vegetables, any fruit besides bananas, tacos pretty much anything. smells, textures, the way things look, and thickness all effects if I want to eat it or not. Though its may seem like it wouldnt effect everything I do it does. People thing Im weird and no one ever really gets used to it. Thanksgiving is a horrible holiday to me. If anyone knows where I can get help please let me know.

  - Victoria

• November 1, 2012 7:54 a.m.

  I am 28 and have never been a picky eater, even as a child. i always ate what was infront of me. Over the past few months my relationship with food has changed. Im slowly going off meat, I can no longer eat a sandwich. Breakfast & Dinner times are fine. My only problem is the dreaded LUNCH TIME that I stuggle with every single day. I will only eat crunchy things. I can eat toast, but not bread....I would gag. Its so strange & I just wondered why all of a sudden this has happened.

  - Kim

• October 17, 2012 4:17 p.m.

  As a child growing up on a farm, I didn't like anything except meat (and poultry), potatoes, corn, apples, bananas, homemade desserts, chicken noodle soup, fried catfish, doughnuts, hot chocolate and white bread. My father forced me to eat cold mashed potatoes (we didn't have electricity at the time so we didn't warm up foods after having the first round at lunch or dinner as we called it then). He also made me eat lima beans. I spent almost every meal gagging and crying. I am almost 69 years old, have fought my weight all my life, now have heart issues, back issues and inflammatory problems. I have learned to eat a few vegetables, pizza (which is now my favorite thing), salad (no cucumbers, onions or carrots on them), tuna straight out of the package and cooked carrots. I am very social, upper middle class and have had so many embarrassing social situations. Fear of someone's not having anything I'll eat at a dinner causes pre-meal nausea. Eating with Mexican and Asian people is the most difficult because of their "mixed up" dishes and the smell. When my children were born, I cooked a well-rounded meal, put it on their plates, never discussed likes and dislikes and gave them dessert (when available) even if they didn't eat their meal. They are 46 and 42, travel all over the world and eat everything. My advice to parents is to serve the meal and let it be but, if they don't eat, don't offer something they do like after dinner. They won't starve.

  - Rita

• October 1, 2012 3:37 p.m.

  My son is 3 and a very,very picky eater (not just the "normal" 2 year old who doesn't eat many vegetables). He has been receiving therapy from a speech pathologist (feeding specialist) for a year. It's a problem when kids (or adults) exclude entire food categories (e.g., fruits, vegetables, meats, etc.). I highly recommend the book Food Chaining for anyone who has a child with being too picky. A tell-tale sign is when a child gags, coughs, or throws up when eating new foods. There can be underlying medical conditions that can cause this. Look up Food Chaining on Amazon; it will teach you a lot!

  - M

• September 22, 2012 1:24 p.m.

  For the last 18 years, we were told that our daughter would outgrow her refusal to try new foods, the gagging and spitting out of new foods, and the emotional turmoils at mealtime. Late in speech development, she was initially diagnosed with PPD. But with high academic achievement, success in social circles, and exemplary artistic talents, we figured it was all in the past. The only foods she will eat are fried, salty, sugary, BBQed meat, popcorn, plain pasta, one brand of apple and grapes. Unlike her friends, she will not try pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, macaroni and cheese, any vegetable, anything with sauces, not even a salad! My husband and I are decent cooks and eat normally. Holidays are a disaster! We never wanted to create a problem but now wonder if by ignoring it we have created our own private disaster. The question of obesity is now a problem with diabetes, heart, stroke, running in the family. We feel like failures. If only we had knowledgeable help years ago. HELP!

  - Vickie

• September 12, 2012 2:25 p.m.

  Wow, reading all the comments were better than the short article... I am a mother of a 12 year old daughter that eats 9 things... and has been this way her entire life. I am now at my wits end and doing as much reasearch as I can to see what / if anything can be done. Thank you everyone for helping me feel not so "alone".

  - Glenna

• September 9, 2012 5:50 p.m.

  I have been a picky eater all 58 years of my life. When I was a child everyone tried to make me eat meat. Today most people respond positively and say they don't eat much meat either or they say it is probably healthier My health is good.. I can find something to eat at most restaurants. When we have dinner at friend's home I take something I will eat with enough to share. Works for me. Own who you are and how you eat!

  - Kay

• August 24, 2012 4:41 p.m.

  I had no idea this was a recognised disorder – I just thought I was a very picky eater. I’m 47 and have never eaten properly since the age of about 3. Mealtimes with my parents were always very stressful as my father would force a fork into my mouth laden with cabbage or other food I hated. I had to pour salt onto dreaded boiled potatoes to disguise their taste but would still end up gagging on them and unable to swallow them. Often I would end meals being spanked over my father’s knee and sent to my room for refusing to eat and it was always a relief to leave the table. One turning point was as a very young child when mum fed me lumpy sliced bananas in thick custard which left me gagging and retching. To this day I still cannot stay in the same room as an unskinned banana. My diet is now very restricted – I eat simple breakfast cereals eg dry cornflakes or rick krispies (no milk), bread (no butter/marg etc), fish fingers or frozen breadcrumb-coated fish, thin oven chips, kippers, bacon, plain ready-salted crisps, far too much chocolate and very occasional strawberries or raspberries. There are very few other foods I’ll touch – definitely nothing ‘foreign’, spicy, sloppy or messy such as pizza. I drink cold diluted squash and don’t have any hot drinks, tea or coffee. I know my diet is unhealthy and I’m a little under-weight but have a very slim build. I also suffer with emetophobia, a fear of vomiting which is linked to my eating problems. This is a life-long p

  - KLW

• July 31, 2012 6:18 p.m.

  I am a lifelong picky eater but also an educated healthcare professional. It has taken me a long time to be open about my eating habits, but now I am able to talk openly about what things I eat and it has helped to alleviate the anxiety and shame. Based on personal experience, I would advise parents of picky eaters to inform and educate their children on healthy eating and encourage the foods that they do like that are healthy, even if that means not a lot of variety. I have continued to work to add healthy foods to my repertoire over the years on my own terms. It is not the parents' fault, and it is not the child's fault. Try to listen to your child and work with them to make their diet more healthy. It's definitely not an easy task for the best of parents, but working against them will not be productive. I don't necessarily think the eating habits represent a psychological disorder, but the stress and anxiety that they can cause may lead to one.

  - Jess

• July 31, 2012 2:43 p.m.

  Dr. Nancy Zucker at Duke University is actively researching SED (selective eating disorder) in adults. The the American Psychiatric Association is considering its inclusion in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the official compendium of emotional and mental disorders. Dr. Zucker has a treatment plan for SED. She can help. http://www.livescience.com/10301-adult-picky-eaters-recognized-disorder.html

  - MEL

• July 25, 2012 12:44 p.m.

  My son is 30 years old. He was a normal eater until he was about 4. At that time, he began to eliminate things from his diet. It alarmed me enough that I began the rounds of doctors, oral surgeons, psychologists, all of whom told me all kids are picky, he's healthy, he's growing, leave him alone. I think had he been a teenage girl I'd have been taken more seriously. I put up with lots of "advice" from other people - starve him, make him eat punish him - nasty looks from waitresses who'd wonder why we weren't ordering something for our son (we'd always feed him ahead of time) to the now heartbreaking discussions with my adult son who doesn't know how to conquer this disorder. What surprises me is how little support there is for this. I met a 67 y.o. man who eats only popcorn, hamburgers and cinnamon rolls. A girl who eats nothing white. My son is brand-exclusive re some foods, can't stand smells, textures or even the look of some things. He is taking supplements but knows how much his missing out on by being different when it comes to food. We've worked with the social aspects of food - how to make it look like you're eating if you are not, grazing and putting a plate down, ordering something for the table to share and then not taking a share himself. That's helped him socially, but he still doesn't eat much of any variety. My heart goes out to anyone who is going through this. Don't be dismissed and try not to let it drive you crazy. Get support whereve

  - Diane

• July 23, 2012 9:58 p.m.

  Looks like this is not going to be the site to get advice & support on Selective Eating Disorder. Too much ignorance & judgement & no treatment ideas. My friend's 6 year old boy eats a handful of foods. Limited to certain brands! He has an aversion to the smell & texture of almost all foods. It's difficult to watch him and his parents struggle. They wonder if he will just "grow out of it" and worry @ how this will affect his future. Does anyone have any practical advice or knowledge out there @ this true disorder?

  - Elizabeth

• July 21, 2012 9:25 p.m.

  I am also the parent of a child with this disorder. It is difficult for him and our family. He has been in food therapy for a year now. I fear it will be forever. He has always been this way, and I fear he always will be. We worry about his nutrition daily. My son won't even try a juice. Only milk or water. At 6, he is beginning to struggle taking a multivitamin, which has been our one in the plus column. I would love to hear of treatments, clinics, parent support groups, etc.

  - Jaime

• February 6, 2012 1:36 p.m.

  My husband and I are both picky eaters. My picky habits are not from taste, but from texture. I love tomato products, but I can't stand raw tomatoes for example. There are also some foods I can't even stand the smell. My parents tried to get me to try new foods, but it was not easy. I like canned green beans but can't stand fresh cooked. My parents tried to force me to eat some and I ended up throwing up all over my plate. This was not their fault and it was something I could not control. My husband dislikes much of the same foods as me, and then some. But we are really unhealthy because of our limits on food, and we are going to start exercising together and adding more fruits and veggies to our meals. Nothing too big for now, just going to start small. I'm hoping it helps us, and show our future kids healthy eating habits.

  - Katie

• January 2, 2012 2:25 p.m.

  Can a child have food phobia with selective eating? Shouldn't new foods be put on the plate with tiny bites until the child will finally take a bite. This is a confusing topic. I've talked to people who work with children who eventually try something new. It make take a dozen times to try.

  - Mary

• July 8, 2011 8:13 p.m.

  I have 7 children ages 4 through 21. Everyone of them eat a variety of foods and are not too afraid to try something new, except my sons who are 10 years old and 4 years old. They both ate "normal" until they were about 2 years old. Then they gradually dismissed foods they used to like, little by little. And I don't want to force them to eat food they don't want, but I'm worried they don't get all the nutrients their growing bodies need. My youngest son is a total vegetarian, eats only milk and cereal, pancakes, peanut butter, plain bread, selected fruits, pretzels and crackers. And V8 juice, cranberry juice or apple juice. Oh and french fries with ketchup. And I limit cookies and candy. But I wish I knew how to get him back to eating more different foods, and his brother too! And if we are in some occasion where food is offered, I always have to listen to how I pamper my kids by letting them eat for instance plain toast instead of burgers, chicken or whatever else they are serving. It makes me feel like I am a bad mom. Even my husband, their dad, says that I let them get away with too much when it comes to meals. He even takes their cheerios with milk and dramatically throws it in the sink, if he sees them eating that instead of dinner, and says if they don't eat what we offer, they can go hungry! So arguments between my husband and I occur in front of the kids because of this, and I believe this just makes matters worse. If anybody has advice, please let me know!

  - Lisa