Alzheimer's disease

Free

E-newsletter

Subscribe to Housecall

Our weekly general interest
e-newsletter keeps you up to date on a wide variety of health topics.

• February 13, 2013 1:59 p.m.

  Hi all - my situation is a bit different but I would love some help. I am caring for my 76 year-old mother who has dementia, COPD, emphysema and a host of related illnesses. Last year mom's health started declining and as a family we've agreed that it isn't safe for mom to live alone at home anymore. Since mom will not accept any "changes" to how she lives her life (e.g., in-home care), Mom is now living with me and my family 600 miles away from her home. Mom wants to go home desperately and of course does not recognize that she is not able to care for herself. Her constant refrain is, "I just want to go home and be myself again." While this is heartbreaking, it's also difficult to live with. I have tried validating her feelings and distracting / reorienting her attention but to no avail. She may become distracted for a couple of minutes, but then returns with, "Why don't you answer my question?" I don't believe she's at a place yet where I can tell her that I am making plans for her to go home and that she will forget. The reality is, she will likely never go home again unless it is to a nursing home. Please give me some realistic strategies to help me manage this situation.

  - Anna

• January 22, 2013 9:16 a.m.

  This is good advice about a problem that is common for Alzheimer's caregivers. Everyone should consider sharing this information in the Alzheimer's and Dementia Community. Bob DeMarco, Founder Alzheimer's Reading Room

  - Bob DeMarco

• May 15, 2012 2:59 p.m.

  My mother is 94 years old. Was doing quite well until the last six months. Almost all residents in the care facility had some form of flu. Mother was not seriously ill, but her recovery has accented her dementia.She is now on a streak of poking, then trying to hit people with her cane. It graduated to trying to elbow people that came near her to trying to hit them with her arm to hurt people. Now the CNAs & servers at the meals are being pinched as hard as she can, then she twists her fingers to make it hurt worse. She is very healthy, gave one-liners that were as funny as heck, told everyone how she discovered the residence(where she lives) after she visited this area several years ago. Her identical twin sister(whom is still living with her daughter in TX)(we live in WA, Mother lived in ID) says mother was always mean & is just doing what she has always done to other people, only she is doing it physical instead of mentally. My children tell me it is because I am not giving enough patience & understanding to her. They see thier grandmother as she was to them when they were children. They all live out of state & come for visits. The only one that seems to be giving me incouragement is my brother and it is simply because he does not want the responsiblity of our mother. I receive telephone calls from facility several times a week telling me the latest episode of mother's actions or prowling at night. I visit her several or more times a week. Help!

  - Jean

• March 16, 2012 11:43 a.m.

  I think the problem was that they should have never traveled that far away from home in the first place. Whether its Alzheimers or any other type of genetic, environmental, chemical or traumatic brain injury, or any other illness, you have to recognize what a person is capable of and not ask more than that without adverse consequences.

  - Madi

• May 20, 2011 6:21 p.m.

  My mother not only has progressing dementia, but she also has severe dyspnea. Her doctors said that being home was not viable since "at home caregivers" are not trained. (in the one year I tried this. I went through 12) I found an assisted living PALACE (it is a PALACE) where the care is TOP SHELF. She is fixated on hating and lashing out at ME. "Why did YOU put me here?, I am not crazy, I can be alone. I do not need any help. I can walk fine." (she is in a wheelchair) The entire family DOES NOT HELP at all, they just criticize me. This is the hardest job. I am, "the stone that the builder refused"~

  - Kristine

• April 7, 2011 9:38 a.m.

  My mother has been having short term memory issues and confusion in handling tasks she once enjoyed(preparing big family meals). She is 78. She did not want to accept what my father and I were telling her when we expressed our concern. We finally got her to see her doctor with us and agreed to use a patch medication. We all commented that she seemed a little better and happier. We just found out last week, after an episode of extreme confusion, that she hasn't worn the patch for at least 3 months and refuses to restart it. I know we need to talk to her again, but I want to make sure we are using a better strategy. Any advice?

  - F

• January 18, 2011 8:28 p.m.

  Do Alzheimer's patients often create violent acts directed at them (this is a 66 year old woman who is still living at home and driving but has declined rapidly in the last year)? She is accusing her husband of being physically aggressive toward her.

  - katy

• December 30, 2010 9:19 a.m.

  I had been taking care of my mother all of her life. She developed cortial dementia and has become a very toxic person. She has alienated me and anyone else. She lives alone in florida and I am out of state. I would like to find someone who can check on her (without going into the house) ...can you help me find some resource..thanks

  - J

• December 18, 2010 8:41 a.m.

  Although my husband is 85, he is still very strong and has hurt me on a number of occasions. He lost his wallet a few months ago and insists on going to our farm to look for it over and over again (we live 2 hours away). When he cannot find it he gets violent. He also has a problem with allowing other people to visit, refuses to answer the phone or the door. I will try the dstract and redirect strategy, but I fear for my life!

  - Sylvia

• December 10, 2010 1:25 p.m.

  My father in law is living alone right now but his alzheimers is getting so bad he forgets to take his medication or even eat. He has a computer and we have had to take his credit card away because he is constantly buy things on line and he forgets he buys them We have been trying to get him to come live with us but he says he would rather die than move out of his house. How do we deal with these threats?

  - Jeanne

• November 4, 2010 3:21 p.m.

  Myra, I'm a southern lady, too. My dad lives near Atlanta and has alzheimers. My dad's symptoms came on very slowly, over years. Your mom's came on suddenly so be sure a doctor has ruled out other things that could affect her brain. My dad's doctor gave him medication that helps calm him down--he is less anxious now and feels better. Try not to take your mother's outbursts personally (this is very hard). If her brain is not always working just right, she cannot help it and does not mean the hurtful things she says. Asking her to act normal is like asking someone with a broken leg to run down the street--impossible. The brain can go bad just like other parts of the body. Take care. I'll keep you in prayers.

  - Earlybird97

• October 11, 2010 10:25 p.m.

  I have just found out my mom has alzeimers or demetia havent figured out much of anything yet, except im only 42 and yes i have some help but its killing my heart im so sad,scared dont no much at all about whats going on with her.she stays with me and all the signs are begging to show the anger the confushion i feel so alone and lost helpless at times,i just dont get it,,,, she was nomal 3 months ago and now its like someone has took her body over .shes 71 my mom is and from what ive read on here thats a common age i guess you would say.im still her baby girl and its as if she gets the angeriest at me not my sis not my brother or my children just me ... if anyone can help with some or any of my quiestions i would be greatfull imfromthe south and their is not many docs who study dementia and alzheimers so any help is needed thanks for listening to this sad southern lady

  - myra james

• October 10, 2010 1:10 p.m.

  I appreciate the use tips and reminders for many types of dementia, MCI, Alzheimer's about not using words of denial. My relative's reactions are so fluid - normal sounding one moment , then instantly changing to anger, impatience, frustration, that I get caught off guard quickly and don't think of these tips. I may have to carry a touchstone in my own pocket to remind me what to do. The person gets so caught up in yelling that they can't hear the words I am saying. It's hard just standing there and letting them vent, it happens every day many, many times over and over. Should someone in their late 80's be given an MRI? Does that help with a treatment plan or best just to try to redirect and refocus? The person has a lifelong resistance to doctors and medication. Given the vast numbers of folks with these conditions, we need national health care policies that provide more relief for the person affected as well as for the person providing care support part or full time. I have been in some nursing homes where training was not in evidence.

  - Karen

• October 4, 2010 10:55 a.m.

  Seek the advice of another physician. We have a psychiatrist helping with my mother-in-law's prescriptions. She has found a good combination of medications for calm without that over-drugged state. Your family needs rest. Please keep looking for help with this problem before someone else gets ill from it.

  - Alma

• September 25, 2010 5:16 a.m.

  Need help-with a 92 year old woman who starts at about 7pm saying she is tired and wants to go to sleep. we try and keep her up longer because as soon as she gets in bed she gets very agitated and starts yelling and yelling for hours, falls asleep for about 10 minutes and then starts again yelling. This goes on till about 4 or 5 in the morning and then she falls asleep and sleeps till 12 in the afternoon. Meanwhile everyone else in the house got no sleep and has to go to work in the morning. Any suggestions? Her Dr is no help

  - Joe

• September 13, 2010 8:46 a.m.

  They started my dad on depokote and ativan in June after being in the alzheimer floor of an assisted living facility for 4 weeks. He became violent and they increased dosages and frequency. He became more violent. He choked a caregiver. They sent him to a Behavior Health Hospital's geriatric wing. He hit and bit. They increased dosages and frequency as well as trying seroquel and haladol and lexapro. He was non-functional. After 5 weeks they said he was going back to his original facility. They reluctantly agreed to take him back. They increased his depokate dosage the day he left. My dad was on the alzheimer's floor of assisted living for 9 more days. I had other nursing homes go there to access him. He was non-responsive. He could not be woken up. He did not eat or drink. But everytime he was due to have medication they put it in a teaspoon of yogurt and made him take it. I called his doctor and the facility and said he is starving. On the ninth day my brother demanded that they call 911. Total kidney failure. The doctors said he would probably not make it. But he did. After one week in the hospital my dad was moved to a nursing home. His kidneys are looking better, but he is still weak. After one week in the nursing home he was sent back to the hospital for low hemaglobin. After 1 unit of blood my dad's strength is back and he has started to eat again. He punched a pregnant caregiver in the stomach yesterday. Here we go again.

  - Caryn

• September 7, 2010 11:12 a.m.

  My husband's aunt, we are told, suffers dementia as a result of scar tissue from a surgery to remove a benign tumor. She has angry outbursts but even though she might be looking directly at someone at the time, I do not get the impression that the anger is directed toward that person. It's more like she is hallucinating and talking to someone she sees in her mind. She is taking Aricept, and I've observed that she is lucid and mostly her own self in the morning prior to taking the medication. Within minutes after taking it, she begins to exhibit behavior associated with Alzheimer's and this anger and irritability. I thought Aricept was supposed to alleviate symptoms not produce them. Is this a common side effect of Aricept. If so, I'm confused about why she is taking it.

  - Laura

• August 26, 2010 9:29 p.m.

  My Mom has dementia and pi-polar. A difficult combination. Treating her like a 4 year old and changing her focus did not work. A wonderful doctor put her on a comination of meds including Lamactil for bi-polar and Zyprexa for her "mood disorder" caused by dementia. Unlike Haldol, Zyprexa was not sedating for her. It took some time to find the right dosage for her but it made a world of difference. Once at the right dose, she smiled and became social enjoying even her outings to the day care enter in town, who were experienced in treating dementia/Alzheimer patients. The difference: an experienced gereatric doctor who took the time to get to know his patient, my mother. Because this doctor took the time and care, my Mom could continue to live with us and even enjoy social outings. We are fortunate, we found a caring and experienced geriatic doctor, who helps guide the way for mom to stay with us instead of being locked up in an institution.

  - Connie

• August 19, 2010 6:54 p.m.

  My husband was diagnosed with FTD in June 2009. I had known there was something wrong for a couple of years, but nothing showed up on the tests that were run. Finally, the dr. told me he suspected FTD and that this was a rapid form of dementia. My husband never recognized he was sick. He thought he was getting better. Since the diagnosis,the disease has progressed rapidly. For several months he doesn't recognize me and I am now caring for all his needs. I have also called in Hospice. He had pneumonia and was hospitalized for several days. This has been a very tramatic experience for me. I always thought of myself as a strong person, but when I was told what he had, it brought me to my knees. We've been married for 48 years and were still so active. He was a workaholic and took care of our business and farm. I am a retired educator and I am now taking care of our business and properties. I am still having difficulty accepting this terrible disease. I have learned to take "one day at a time". It definitely is what it is, and you have little control over your tomorrows. I have learned a great deal from this experience and know that I will be a changed person after this experience. Gorgie

  - Georgie

• August 18, 2010 12:38 p.m.

  I too am a caregiver for my husband. Knowing the right thing to say and do is really a process you have to learn. As it said in the article sometimes it works and other times it does not. Either way it is very over-whelming and exhausting. I am trying to do the best I can.

  - Mary

• August 4, 2010 5:36 a.m.

  I am a semi-retired therapist, 69, caring for my dearest friend and life partner, 78, who has vascular dementia with first problematic cognitive problems in 2005. Her 3 daughters live on opposite coasts and my own 2 children have died in the last 4 years. Social isolation has become an increasing problem since I retired from full-time mental health work 3 yrs ago--there I had many friends with whom I could share my concerns. As things worsen, I find I really have trouble accessing support since I really didn't share my partner's condition with many of our common friends until the last year or so. It sounds so much like whining! I am at a crossroads about needing to get some respite--it would be ideal to have someone we know come in while I am out at work twice a week for 3 hrs. I haven't been concerned about wandering or safety issues with the stove, etc. but she is much worse knowing that I will be gone and often angry when I get home. We have been going through the 'going home' syndrome for several months now--it is made worse by the fact that this often is a problem related to her not recognizing me. It is very persistent when it begins and I usually have been able to distract her by offering to take her home in the car--often by the time we get down our driveway, she recognizes our surroundings. Some of the hallucinations and delusional thinking have been helped with Respiridone. Aricept didn't help and then became actively much worse for her. Thanks

  - Carrie

• August 3, 2010 11:11 p.m.

  Wow. I'm humbled. I am not alone and I am so happy to know others understand. I'm an RN casemanager and it's so much more difficult dealing with your mother, than patients. Yes, re-direction is an excellent tool. The haldol is the most beneficial drug, managing the psychoses, suspicions and paranoia better than other meds without completely drugging the patient.

  - Charlene

• August 3, 2010 10:57 p.m.

  To Katie, whose mother has Lewy body dementia+. I could have written your letter! I too am an RN Case Manager specializing in hospice. There are no siblings to help me, and my mother was frantic staying with us, always wanting to go home. She too is on Seroquel, but only 25-50mg/day. She is also on Exellon, Namenda and Citralopam. THe BEST help is Haldol, 5mg. For agitation, give it hourly until successful. Then start over, using it prn. And yes, Seroquel is not for ALzheimer's....but Haldol is!

  - Charlene

• August 1, 2010 1:19 p.m.

  What a terrible day I had yesterday transferring my 90 y.o. Mother, diagnosed with Lewy bodies and microvascualar dementia(VaD) to a rehab unit after her third time in the hospital in 3 weeks. Things started when her memory care facility let her go outside several times on a 97 degree day. She fainted at the dinner table and might have aspirated some of her food. She was hospitalized for heat exhaustion, dehydration, and a beginning urinary tract infection. The second and third hospitalizations were for pneumonia treatment. She was so confused and scared. It just killed me to leave her there even though this facility has a very good reputation. I am a geriatric nurse case manager, but managing my own mother's dementia issues along with my very involved siblings, is a nightmare for us. My sister and I can no longer care for her in our homes, but we just can't find the right placement for her. We had her worked up at an inpatient geropsych unit and they put her on Seroquel which I am now reading this morning makes Lewy body symptoms worse, is very dangerous for the elderly, and not helping her dementia issues. Anyone found more benefical treatments? We've tried so hard to avoid trial and error in tx and placement. We are so depressed right now. Where is that right fit that she so deserves!

  - Katie

• August 1, 2010 10:29 a.m.

  My Mom is bipolar as well as the Altzheimers. She is angry a great deal of the time. She is angry that this is happening to her. Sometimes I think that the medicines are a curse as they let the patient realize what is happening to them and they no longer have the skills to deal with that. My brothers and father have passed and I am the full time caregiver with help from my husband. I work a full time job but do think that I will have to stop soon. Her siblings all have their own problems and frankly are scared to death to be near her. I tried to tell them that she isn't contagious but to no avail. Her brother in law just died the other day and one sister called me to say "your mother keeps calling the widow (sister), does she not know that she has already called?" My answer, "no, she doesn't know and frankly I am impressed that she even called the correct sister." The aunt who called did not like my answer. Seriously?

  - Sally