Depression (major depression)

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• April 30, 2012 3:12 p.m.

  I've been depressed essentially my entire adult life (1st onset, as best I can remember, was at age 22; I'm now 58). I didn't recognize or acknowledge it until about 10 years ago. I've been on a number of different meds, with varying degrees of effectiveness. Currently, taking Welbutrin, Lexapro, Xanax, Ativant, and Trazadone (the last three mainly to help me fall asleep and stay asleep). Once I figured out that I had depression, found the right meds, and started seeing a very good talk therapist, I realized what had been happening in my life. Long story short, I've been fired several times, sometimes disguised as a layoff, and have been told that I have excellent engineering skills but "just rub people the wrong way". I see now that what was happening is that I would get depressed, begin to shut down and shut out people, until I had alientated everyone. My last job I had for 10 years; 5 years ago I transferred to another division of a very large organization. It turned out to be a complete disaster, my co-workers were unethical, my boss told me to break the law, and the union wouldn't back me up because it had it's own agenda. So I've out of work since July 2012. It's bad enough to be unemployed, but being depressed increases the burden a 1,000 fold. I'm sure it comes across in interviews, and "networking" is agony. Is there anyone reading this who is dealing with both unemployment and depression? Ward

  - Ward

• March 14, 2012 2:39 a.m.

  Hi my brother has Major depression disorder, I tend to take him lunch so that we can spend time together. His depression that I have observed is that all he wants to do is lay in bed all day. He takes medication to help him sleep at night. He is under Dr. care a psychiatrist he is taking medication, but I still see that he just does not want take care of his daily health care skills. Lacks motivation to even bath till several days, go the grocery store, pay bills. He mentions to me that he is tired of not getting better, he is tired that there is no change after different changes on medication and they are not helping him. He does not want to go to half day theraphy the Dr. asked him to do he told the dr. he did not want to go. He has already been there and done that. I can say it did help, but later had a relapse, Can some professional dr. send me some guidance as to what else can be done from my part.

  - Yolanda

• February 19, 2012 2:45 p.m.

  I SUFFER from depression. As I write this I'm crying because it has taken over me.....I don't go no where I don't have a job or a anything....I cry everyday my body aches all I want to do is sleep and never wake up...I feel so worthless ....just want tl crawl in a hole..............,... :(

  - aracely

• February 12, 2012 7:30 a.m.

  I am certainly hopeless. I have no friends. I was married for 34 yrs to a man who decided he was gay. I don't trust anyone. So it's better to be alone then be hurt. I go to work which my depression is effecting my work. After work I crawl in the bed and usually cry or I'm completely numb. I try to put on my smile face which has always worked before but it's just not working anylonger/ I work at a doctors office which when someone sees the doctor everyone in the office knows why. I'm not sure what to do, do you?

  - Becky

• February 11, 2012 9:20 p.m.

  I've suffered from depression for most of my adult life. I've gotten great help from vitamin therapy, especially B vitamins. I've also done natural hormone replacement and iodine supplentation. The results have been phenomenal.

  - Barbara

• January 24, 2012 4:25 p.m.

  What do you do when a loved one tries to commit suicide? How can family help? Shes been diagnosed with depression for almost 5 months now, nothing is working? Searched so many web sites, what can we do? please any ideas.

  - casandra

• January 15, 2012 11:51 p.m.

  Depression is really messing up my life. I can act normal for a little while but the whole time I want to run.Contact with others is getting harder,im sure mu hubby is tired of it all. Im just so tired of headaches and making up excuses to hide in the house. I now have no job or life!!!!1

  - Karen

• December 3, 2011 1:36 p.m.

  Do most people drink and take antidepressants at the same tme?

  - Nuala

• November 18, 2011 4:04 p.m.

  Depression can be a severely crippling condition and without websites like these many people will continue to suffer. I have been coping with severe depression for most of my life and so I decided to create a website dedicated to helping those who are dealing with the same or similar conditions. The Not A Doormat Anymore blog website focuses on coping with life's hardships through artistic expression, hopefully inspiring others to do the same. If you are interested, the titles of some of my first blog entries are "A Brief Introduction", "Coping Mechanisms" and "Vivid Dreams". Thanks again for your time and stay strong everyone.

  - Bradley

• August 15, 2011 9:07 p.m.

  (cont.)-it's temporary, as bad as things are now. Try and take comfort in knowing that it *will* pass sooner or later.(I'm not downplaying this.Depression is horrible no matter what the source. Talking to a good listener helps.) 2)Chemical imbalance: That's when things might be fine but you sink down into that black hole anyway, for no reason. Psych meds do help, but you have *got to be patient*. It's like trying to program a remote control without a code..you just have to keep trying different kinds, different doses till you hit the right one for you. Each time you try a new one you have to wait for the effect up to 2 months, so it can be very time-consuming. Trust me, though; it is well worth all of the time put in. *There is no magic pill to make you instantly feel normal; your problems will not disappear. The right med will help with the bad episodes, but it won't stop you from getting depressed-just not *as* depressed. I like what the guy said in his cave analogy about analyzing how the cave got there. Unless there's a way you can change your situation now, it does you no good to keep picking at old wounds. Accept that you have a problem and go about fixing it. I hated the idea of psych meds for the rest of my life..but *they are what help me to keep fighting*--so I'll take them.

  - Dee

• August 15, 2011 8:33 p.m.

  I've suffered from chronic depression since childhood; now I'm 50. I've only tried meds since 2004 or so, when I cried nonstop for 3 days for no discernable reason. That put a scare into me. Had to try many different kinds and dosages until I got some relief. Therapy/talking to people does nothing (for me). St. John's Wort, daily exercise regime, better diet, change of job/home, visualization (if you think happy thoughts you'll be happy!), meditation, alcohol...none of these offered any relief. Alcohol was a temporary fix, like someone else here mentioned, but the price paid in hangovers alone got to be too high. Right now I'm taking Effexor (125 mg.), Trazodone (50 Mg) for insomnia, and Buspirone (5 mg.)for anxiety. Seem to have leveled out a bit. Had originally been on a much larger dose of Effexor but have titrated down under my shrink's supervision. *Interesting side effect of the Trazodone: it put me right off of alcohol. I didn't want to quit, I just *did* because I'd get nauseous when I tried to drink. Then I read on PubMed.gov that Trazodone was also used to treat alcoholism (which I did not have--just drank way too much)..so I got a little extra for my money, because it does put me right to sleep usually. 40 years of this has taught me a few things, and I'll pass them on-- hopefully to help others: 1)Depression is a very subjective thing. Some of the folks on this thread seem to be suffering from situational depression; times are tough. Just remember it'll pass.

  - Dee

• July 14, 2011 11:35 a.m.

  What do you do if your loved one doesn't want to seek the help they need & is willing to walk away from everything?

  - karly

• July 13, 2011 12:52 a.m.

  I have been dealing with depression most of my life. My moods swing wildly from happy to sad to whatever. All of my relationships are a bust and my work life sucks as well. I do not know what to do or where to go. I do not have insurance nor could I afford any if it was available. I have feels of despair pretty much everyday knowing that no one needs or wants me around. I have a birthday coming up and the few people I have invited over have all found ways of saying no to see me which has added to my depression and self-worthlessness.

  - Eric

• June 13, 2011 11:47 p.m.

  dear jean: i'm so sorry to hear that u suffer from headaches every day, have u seen a reg. m.d. to c if something else might b causing them? have you tried chiropractic treatments-they have helped me alot w. headaches, it also may b a symptom of the meds.-do you think? thank goodness the migraines r gone & hopefully it will stay that way, i'm not a professional, just someone that has suffered from depression 4 almost 35 yrs. now, but i can't say i remember suffering from headaches very often, maybe try the things i've mentioned & write back & let me know how you're doing, sorry i didn't write sooner-was out of town visiting the grandkids, hang in there & you'll be in my prayers

  - denise

• June 7, 2011 11:47 a.m.

  For me, depression is painful in more ways than one. When I'm sliding into depression (when my meds stop working) one of the first signs is a headache almost every day. I used to get full-blown migraines, but they are fortunately gone. But these daily headaches are awful. I'm wondering if other people have this?

  - Jean

• May 13, 2011 11:38 p.m.

  dear sarah: i know how u feel about some of the drs. that r out there, u have 2 just search 'til u find a good one, there r a few out there, my drs. office has about 6 drs. there & i would say there's only 1 good one (besides mine), it's really sad that when we need someone 2 depend on 2 really listen 2 us & give us some sense of caring, all u get is ok our time is up-next !! the ins. co. pays 4 a 20 min. visit & we might get 10 min., if we're lucky, well enough negative stuff-sorry, about the sleeping, ur supposed 2 get 7-8 hrs. of sleep a nite-4 adults, more for children and teenagers, why doesn't a dr. know this ?? a good thing 2 take 4 insomnia is benedryl, it's not addicting & cheap (i get 100 tabs @ the $ store), ck. out some of my other blogs on this web-site, they might help u ? good luck 2 u never give up keep writing if it helps

  - denise

• March 27, 2011 6:17 p.m.

  Going too deep and getting lost in a cave may require help in getting out. This is a good reason to stay close to the ENTRANCE/EXIT. Caves are useful for storage. Unwanted, unneeded, painful and harmful memories can be stored in deep pits. Treasured memories and thoughts can be stored near the ENTRANCE/EXIT. Attempting to fill in a cave creates a hole or depression somewhere else. In a cave or any dark place it is much wiser to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

  - Owen

• March 27, 2011 6:10 p.m.

  I came up with this metaphor years ago when I needed to get out of a deep depression. It took awhile to work out all the implications. I recommend reading this over and over thinking about each point. Eventually with patience anyone can develop the skill to deal with depression. Remember it is a natural formation that will never go away. The cave metaphor is powerful enough to turn a liability into an assett. This is a whole new way to think about depression. It may sound crazy but it worked for me. DEPRESSION IS A CAVE A very useful metaphor for depression is a cave. The list of implications of the cave metaphor can provide strategies to deal with depression. Caves are natural formations found worldwide and each one is unique. The forces in nature that create caves can be compared to emotional states. Erosion: Problems can “eat away” at us and feelings can erode. Waves: Outside forces (over which there is no control) pound away and wear us down. Volcanoes: Stress can cause destructive dormant feelings to erupt. Earthquakes: Upheaval after release of built-up pressure or sudden unexpected trauma followed by aftershocks. Trying to figure out exactly how a cave has been formed doesn’t change the cave. The ENTRANCE to a cave also serves as the EXIT. Caves are better for temporary shelter rather than long-term residence. Caves can be fascinating, comforting, and starkly beautiful but at the same time, very dangerous. Going too deep and getting lost in a cave may re

  - Owen

• February 2, 2011 12:50 p.m.

  I have had three major bouts of serious depression over my life. The last one lasted a year and was very intense. My moods haven't been very stable since that last one twelve years ago. What bothers me is that the psychiatrists I have gone to don't seem very responsive or encouraging to me as a patient. You can be frightened that you are about to be sucked down into the abyss, so you call the psychiatrist for an appointment. You are told it will be a month before they can see you. It's no wonder people commit suicide with 'help' like that! It's not like I call up very often saying that I need help urgently. I just tried another psychiatrist, because I thought maybe my old one just didn't want to deal with my problems. The new one says I should go back on Adderall along with the anti-depressant I'm taking. He didn't seem to hear me when I said Adderall causes me to have severe problems with insomnia. He said I was probably trying to sleep over seven hours. I was just trying to get as much as seven hours. Only getting four or five or six hours of sleep causes me to have depression. When doctors don't seem to care enough to respond or listen, it leads to despair. Maybe this is the best they can do, but it feels so cold and uncaring.

  - Sarah

• January 17, 2011 7:35 p.m.

  dear ry i'm glad u wrote 2 us, i hope we can help, as far as your wife not wanting help, there's not a lot u can do 4 that, make an appt. 4 yourself w. a psych. dr. & let him or her no what ur going thru, there may be some way to get her in to the hospital, even though she refuses to go, i think they can hold her for 72 hrs., i'm not a professional, just someone that suffers from depression, i can't even imagine the helplessness that u must be going thru, it has 2 b awful, i'm not sure why there was a time in there that she wasn't dealing with this, the dr. should be able 2 tell u, get a good dr., it's so important !! contact your local health dept., ask friends, go thru the yellow pages even, tell them it's an emergency & they may b able 2 get u in sooner, as far as talking 2 her, in my opinion, just listening @ this point is best, i no it's hard, there r brochures @ the drs. office that will help u 2, might wanna even ck. out the library, things will get better, don't give up, hope this helped u & write back

  - denise

• January 17, 2011 4:03 p.m.

  I need help helping my wife. She has dealt with anxiety and depression in the past, and was coping very well while we were dating. So well that it was never a concern of mine. Since we've been married she has been on a steady decline, losing motivation, gaining weight, wanting to sleep all the time, and frequent angry tirades and even resorting to cutting again (something she dealt with and overcame many years before we started dating). I am at a loss as how to help. She recognizes that she is struggling with depression but refuses to seek counseling or psychiatric treatment. I have broached the subject in the past but then she accuses of not accepting her for who she is and becomes more angry and depressed. I need help learning how to talk to her and help her manage her depression and hopefully help her get professional treatment in a way that demonstrates my love and support. Thus far my attempts have been woefully inadequate and cause me to avoid the issue which has done nothing to help it, if anything it has only made the situation worse.

  - ry

• January 9, 2011 7:55 p.m.

  dear mk what a.d. r u referring to ?? i like your attitude !! even though things around u might look very bleak, u still hang in there, you listed some good advice, also, good luck & write back

  - denise

• January 6, 2011 12:24 a.m.

  To those who feel like giving up on depression- I had felt miserable and unable to do simple tasks for years until my doctor prescribed a new anti-depressant for me. After taking it for a while, suddenly "my world" seemed much brighter. It became easy to do things to make my life better, although I am still fighting this battle. It turned on a "light in my brain." Please if you need it, seek better medical advice if you're feeling down and counseling if you need guidance. I will not give up on myself though I'm scared, poor, and have problems I encounter that overwhelm me. I will keep on seeking happiness although at times it's hard because I am broke.

  - MK

• December 25, 2010 9:01 p.m.

  I Am not really hoping for much from this except, possibly some sort of outlet? First and foremost I mask my depression in avoidance, because truthfully the neglect is killing me. I am miserable in the fact that even in my new set of goals, I will arrive at the same conclusion I am now, or even worst I will continue to arrive at this conclusion the more I move on, which is that the promise that life will get more fullfilling and better was all just a ploy by people who say they love me to just keep me alive for the purpose of making their own lives easier. I know that is awful thing to state, but truthfully I hate being accused of being a miserable or intentionally vicious person and yet that may be who I ultimately am inside. Perhaps I am just a terrible person with no true worth beyond the surface level perks everyone sees, since ultimately I have pushed everyone I know away and probably will my family will in enough time. I guess truly though I hate the holidays, since they always make me turn inwards and reveal the ugliness of who I am. If anyways has a way to navigate through this madness please let me know otherwise I will continue to make my way down the river, trying to not crash into the rocks below.

  - RL

• November 30, 2010 9:46 a.m.

  I married a recovering herroin/alcoholic about 7yrs ago. Started a business knowing unsure were we would land in this tough econ. He has adhd. Started adhd medication about 7yrs ago now 50. He managed to medicate himself thru school/college w/ mariq/herrein. 8 yrs ago hit rock bottom. Arrested and forced treatment. Never realized how to feel reality or enjoy life w/out drugs.He shows all the signs of depression(excuse me if I dont label depression)on top of everything else, all that he has become and acheived. Re-taught how to stay away from drugs/alcohol. How do you ask your husb to stay away from depression? How do you help someone feel good about themselves if they dont know how even for 10min. Drugs in this case, i dont think so. Doctors? Psychiatry? who has the money or time for this life long imbalance. I'm lost but hopeful.

  - mm