Stress management

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• May 5, 2013 4:00 p.m.

  Keep Calm and Carry On!

  - Grace

• April 24, 2013 1:20 p.m.

  divorced after 30 years of marriage & dating since 9th grade. the demise of my marriage came over a decade ago. the reality of drug & alcohol abuse took its toll. My spouse at the time would use anything that was going wrong in my world to feel that he had cause to vanish from me in a chemically induce world. It did not matter how often I pleaded to him to not take that pill and keep me company, maybe set & talk.... the simplest of affections is what I was reduced to asking for, and being met with the vacant stare and no results spiraled me into years of feeling worthless and alone. I vanished from the world. Hospitalized for suicidal thoughts, therapy for YEARS, still believing the problem was in me, mental health, physical health. Seeking help for myself only fueled his ideas that it was me, nothing he needed to work on. I was simply broken in his eyes, and he felt justified in disappearing into addiction and verbal & psychological abuse. The day I "snapped to" I found myself locked in my car waiting for the police to arrive, scared. He was arrested, I was taken to a safe house. Since I have been getting weekly counseling, I still feel emotionally weak, Shopping one day I walked by a card that made me stop & turn back. Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Be not a slave of your own past ~ plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, swim far, so you shall come back with self respect, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old. hangs

  - Becky

• April 19, 2013 1:17 p.m.

  I went through the hardest time in my life over a period of 4 years. I went from having a hand full of servants and help, more than enough money, than I knew what to do with and a loving partner to homeless, unemployed and destitute. When I look back, I took each day as it came, there were times I felt I should take my own like there was just no point in going on. What stopped me was my son I did not want him to grow up like me, orphaned. I am a single mother. That is all that stopped me on that route. Beyond that point, some days I just lost all hope. Strange enough the next morning I would go at it again with renewed hope, tried until I made it, after a million tries & failure. In the middle of the slums, in the company of people I never though‘d have anything to do with. I found compassion, and unbearable humanity, that does not exist amongst my own kind. I found little things to amuse myself, like how happy and care free people who have nothing are. Today I work a dead end job, earning not even 1% of what I use to earn, but I have hope, that if I save enough I will start my own business again. What I can say is that resilient is imbedded in one’s personality; it is also build over time through the hardships we encounter. I had a tough childhood, made it through pure hard work, perseverance and hope. That still stands true to me; through every situation that I encounter, will pass and I will make it, simply because I made it before. And that somewhere out ther

  - Alicia

• April 3, 2013 2:07 p.m.

  I had no interest in going to a support group although I knew I had to change. I founded and attended a group and became a part of the administration for 20+ years. My key to success was my partner. Without him, I may have given up. He was my inspiration, my drive and my hope. The motto was, "You are not alone." I wasn't. Utilize your partner with agreeable terms. My skills were utilized and am moving on with my experience and knowledge.

  - Diane

• March 30, 2013 8:06 p.m.

  We can go from resilient to fragile at any given time and then revert back in the process of ' coping '. I am strong ( told many times by others ) but also sensitive. If I became too resilient and too toughened to life's knocks I would worry I would lose my sensitivity / empathy for others.

  - monique

• March 26, 2013 1:54 a.m.

  Getting knocked over or knocked down makes us wiser the next time. Faith gives us hope and strength to keep standing up because God is watching and will take care of you if you take care of yourself. Who said life was fair? We all have good and bad days, some we manage well and some we fall off board. The challenge and key is to get up when you are ready and move again, with more skills, more tools, more experience and hope that you dont fall down again in the same place!

  - Zinat

• March 19, 2013 2:51 p.m.

  Choice. Choosing not to give up. Choosing to be optimistic. Choosing to use anger as a tool to make a positive change. Choosing to look beyond ourselves. Resilience.

  - j

• March 7, 2013 2:31 p.m.

  I think that knowing the truth about life and what's obvious really opens your eyes and see life how it really is in order to understand the problems we come across.in my case knowing the truth about our Bible,for instance knowing the name of our God,Jehovah,is a missing link to society.the list goes on and on.

  - joe.

• February 24, 2013 4:18 p.m.

  “Every time you meet a situation you think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you are freer than you were before.” ? Eleanor Roosevelt

  - Laurie

• February 14, 2013 6:48 p.m.

  Surround yourself with as many uplifting people as possible. As always, there will always be those who are not.

  - Ann

• February 11, 2013 2:06 a.m.

  Don't be a victim. Bad marriage, divorce her. Bad job, leave it and get a different one No second thoughts, no second chances. The only person you need to empower is yourself.

  - Dr. Dan (yes an MD)

• January 29, 2013 8:00 a.m.

  I will soon be 79 years old and for the past few years depression has been my problem but I didn't recognize the cause. Recently my doctor told my daughter about counseling one of the local hospitals offers and she convinced me to attend the sessions. Finally I have realized how to cope and I look forward to going three days a week to counseling. It really has helped me. If you have such a place to attend (your doctor would know), and if you're having a problem coping with something in your life, this type of counseling would be beneficial to you and I would encourage you to look into it. With the help of God and counseling you can find the resilience you need.

  - Thelma

• January 28, 2013 6:40 a.m.

  At age 55, I have been pointed to as an example of resiliency--both my parents were alcoholics, abuse ran the gamut in our household, yet I avoided substance abuse and have led a relatively successful life. But I have never been comfortable with the idea that anything I did earned this as compared to my siblings. I see my strength, faith, and optimism as gifts of personality and even chance. It bothers me when the resilient are held up against the less fortunate as if they--the resilient ones--had earned what they had over the less resilient. Sure, it's been hard. I'm proud of my persistence and willingness to seek help. But I do not see those struggling with the same challenges and failing as weaker or having chosen poorly. I've had plenty of weaknesses and poor choices but my temperment and fate have insulated me.

  - Diane

• January 23, 2013 5:10 p.m.

  Hardiness may relate to both nature and nurture. Parents who cope well set an example for their children. However, a child who is predisposed to pessimism may not benefit from that example when a stressful situation arises.

  - Jeanette

• January 23, 2013 1:28 p.m.

  "Change is the only constant" by Heraclitus. Many times I remind myself to be patient and endure. The situation/s will change. Sunshine on your face always helps.

  - MDT

• January 17, 2013 4:18 p.m.

  We have to live life understanding that on the journey of life there will be changes,disappointments and sometimes loss,we are not always able to predict these events but we have to develop coping strategies quickly when the do occur.The fact is Perseverance is an attitude a frame of mind one develop in times of adversity.Having faith in God or a higher power,faith knowing that you are not alone,faith that the storm will pass eventually.Find purpose in the adversity,there is always a lesson we can learn from every life changing experience.

  - Lloyd Robinson

• December 19, 2012 2:38 p.m.

  I have a practice of observing myself for anger. I believe feeling anger is rooted in a basic fears of "some need not being met". Repressing fear and frustration is expressed as anger. Subsequently, anger accumulates and becomes more frequent and disables our coping mechanisms and we become depressed. Here is how I help myself.. as soon as I notice an angry or fearful thought, I envision myself tossing it up away from myself with a big exhalation and I say to myself "let of your anger" The first day I started this I must have done it over a hundred times!! I had no idea how much I was beating myself up with angry thoughts! It's not going to solve every problem but it has helped me regain some control over myself with has helped to reduce my anxiety and depression. I can see the glass as half full again. it turns inweard and becomes diablingdepression. depression comes from repressed anger. If I'm at work, home or driving and a angry thought omes from anger

  - leigh

• December 8, 2012 11:38 p.m.

  I never understood in my whole life of 25 years what it meant to remain standing even when you felt the circumstances in your life had the upper hand with more power to push you down. Till I met Christ, he showed me that even when you feel like life is caving in be still and hold on to hope, constantly believing that things will change for the better. I never was strong enough to face the battle, but he opened my eyes to see that some of the obstacles we face in life don’t have as much power as we think they do over our emotions and thought patterns during those times when we feel like we have no more strength to fight the battle. Jesus is stronger than the circumstances; his power alone can change or get you through any situation. He can enable you with his grace and wisdom to withstand the storms of life.

  - N Keen

• November 21, 2012 8:55 p.m.

  I have been a counselor in the mental health field for 24 years. I have a doctoral degree and own a private practice where I practice with 9 other clinicians. We frequently speak of resiliency we see in our clients and in one another when we go through our own trials. While all of the posted comments are clearly beneficial, we have identified one primary source of resiliency that many of our clients have in common. That is God. I have been amazed and inspired by the resiliency, faith, and testimony of others. It has spurred me to grow in my own spirituality, and has been of more benefit to me as a care provider than any continuing education class has ever been.

  - Vonnie

• November 18, 2012 8:26 a.m.

  I was once told that stress, disapoointment, anger is increased when your expectations of the person or situation is farther away from what you get. In my case it's relationships....I go for the underdog so to speak and eventually they don't improve their situation that they SAY they wanted to improve and it frustrates me as I expect them to do what they say. And the more and more they don't do as they promised the more angry I get and unfortunately I'm not very composed but fly off the handle. If the expectation level wasn't so different from the reality the anger wouldn't be so severe. So I take that to mean that I should find someone more my equal than try to change someone who SAYS they want to change their life but don't do the required steps to do so. Easier said than done sometimes!

  - Tori

• November 16, 2012 1:07 a.m.

  I have definitely had my fair share of stress in my life,probably more than most. I believe positive makes positive and negative makes negative. At the time I am a care taker, counselor for family members who are not well or having problems and need my help. Some times the stress is so trying, and the rest of my life gets put on hold, It can be so demanding and tiring at times all I can do is cry. But the positive is I am where I need to be and those close to me are still with me.If I wasn't here for them I am not sure they would be here today! I think god never gives you any thing you don't work hard for! When the stress is more than I can handle I make time to have a few hours away from every thing. Those few hours rejuvenate me and my well being. I know that making the wrong decisions under stress can have a negative reaction in my life and consequences I may regret. So when the stress gets too much, I take my self out of it for a while. It makes you feel much better when there is nothing you can do about the situation other than helping them heal.

  - Debbie

• November 4, 2012 9:31 p.m.

  Who goes the distance and why is the subject of positive psychology, well known to the guys from Harvard: Tal Ben Shahar, Shawn Achor.

  - Carlie

• September 28, 2012 5:43 p.m.

  At 69 yrs of age, and having experienced my share of adversity. Am healthy, active, myFaith and strong belief in my God...my heavenly father. Have helped with a strong sense of enjoyment over beauty of nature..appreciation....optimism...and hope..forgiveness, as well as desire to help and encourage others. A desire to form new friendships, Learn new things..curiousity.... I might add my daughter...who does not share my strong faith.says..my having no bitterness or envy...over circumstances from a broken marriage...said "God did that" ( meaning its the only reason she can think of that i did not feel long term negative feelings)..am told i also look younger than my biological age. Although i dont worry about natural aging either.

  - Marsha

• September 6, 2012 5:12 p.m.

  Love this post! when you have a doub you can ask away...

  - ask away

• August 29, 2012 2:32 a.m.

  Therapists get paid for a reason...less stress for you...let your friends consult them. Stay off the phone at night. Enjoy parks. Free and social. Keep your things moving...if you add one give two away.

  - Margaret