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  • Stress blog

  • Sept. 15, 2010

    Overcoming adversity

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

7 comments posted

It's obvious from the blog comments that everyone struggles with similar issues regardless of where they live or the diplomas on the wall. So how do people overcome personal violence, sexual abuse, unfairness in the workplace, or the horrors of armed conflict?

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

It's not a question of willpower. It's not a question of just pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. When the scars run deep, there's very little resiliency and it's hard to bounce back.

However, the lives of those who've somehow overcome adversity may hold clues. Studies reveal some common themes in their life stories:

  • Having that one person — a coach, minister or confidant — who provides guidance and support during hard times.
  • Feeling a sense of community or connectedness. In other words, having a safety net of individuals to share concerns with, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon or another group.
  • Believing in one's self. A deep-seated notion that, "I am a good person. What happened to me is not right or fair, but I can't let this define me or my life."

It's also clear that many individuals need the guidance of professionals to help them find their way out of the darkness. Yet all the professional help and all the support groups can't replace the one-on-one support from someone who knows and cares about you.

7 comments posted

blog index
  • May 12, 2012 4:05 p.m.

    Overcoming any traumatic event takes time. Trying to get over a troubling life event may take years and thats ok, taking time to get to know yourself and figure out how you will handle the trauma takes a lot of self reflection and understanding of yourself

    - Barbara

  • May 29, 2011 3:46 a.m.

    what if you have no one at all to lean on and therapy and meds havent worked

    - jan

  • September 29, 2010 5:28 a.m.

    Anna, I too have had a similar life of caring for others, being the "strong one" and yet experiencing great adversity. There is a difference between discouragement and burn-out!! The things that pull me through are: humor, spirituality,(my relationship with MYSELF first, my GOD second and OTHERS third). We do learn, become more compassionate and gain wisdom from these episodes. Above all, like DESIDERATA says,"be gentle with yourself." puddles

    - puddles

  • September 22, 2010 5:25 p.m.

    Having lost a third job in as many years with the economic effect on the auto industry and a year away from retirement, my self-esteem is near non-existent. I recently saw a psychologist, who had also been a priest in his younger years. He made me feel better about things. He reminded me that "bad people do bad things, but sometimes good people do bad things too" in respect to the most recent job loss. It was not my fault this had happened-I was told that by the employer. My faith has carried me thru many times previously in my life. It has been difficult to turn this over to God this time. I am not sure what is going to happen -if there is any life left ahead. I've had to be the strong one for my family and others since childhood. I feel so tired. I wonder sometimes if it will ever be my turn to be taken care of as I've done all these years for others. I know the healing must come from within me, and for that , I need God in my heart. It feels I should not ask this time. Is it time to stand on my own? I don't know what to do to get better at this point.

    - anna

  • September 19, 2010 7:13 p.m.

    Hello, thank you for your post. I agree that having a network of support is important during difficult time. It is important to be connected. Your post was very well thought out and clear. I appreciate that.

    - No name given

  • September 15, 2010 11:38 a.m.

    Thats so right Carol.I truly believe in that also.

    - denise

  • September 15, 2010 10:48 a.m.

    I went on a recent tour at Mayo led by a Franciscan nun. She took us into a prayer room at Mayo. There were places on the wall to leave prayer requests where the nuns would pray for your request. On the wall was a sign saying something to the effect that there is only so much a doctor or the medical field can do. Implied was, you may have to look further into the spiritual and to God for the rest of your healing. Your blog reminded me of this.

    - carol

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