Alzheimer's disease

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• May 8, 2012 7:10 a.m.

  this is exactly how I am feeling. Thanks for this article, because I had been feeling so guilty. I have been depressed, picking up weight and feeling like a mean person. Some days,it seems i care more than my aging parent who shows signs of "a" disease. Thank you again for posting this article.

  - Nena

• October 14, 2011 12:53 p.m.

  What some examples of the positive and negative aspects of growing old?

  - Julie

• July 29, 2011 8:22 p.m.

  My father is in the last stages of this awful disease and I alone care for him as well as my ailing mother and disabled sister. I am so happy to read your post becouse Every Moment of Every day I have such a Huge range of emotions that I feel like I'm going to explode! There are moments that I feel So guilty about some of my feelings that I don't know what to do so its good to know that I'm not alone in this madness ! Thank you !!!!!!

  - Donna

• January 9, 2011 10:51 p.m.

  I was reading alot of entries tonight.I find them helpful.My Dad is turning 87 this summer.He gets upset when he cannot remember names or what part of town he went on a ride through.He can still live on his own for now.I feel sorry for him loosing my Mom almost 3 years ago.She had Alzheimer's and now he has the beginning stage of memory loss.He can remember things from the 1940's and World War 2 stories but the daily responsibilties are getting to him.I help him every day with everything he wants me too.He knows he can count on me and that makes me feel better.I will never let anything happen to my dear old Dad.He gave everything to me.I will give him everything.His personality is inspiring and his music is his life.He loves our family so much and we love him for the kind and generous man he is.He has a heart that is made of gold.For those of you going through this with your loving parent enjoy everyday you have with them because it may be your last.Cherish every moment and take alot of photo's together.Someday you will look back at them and say Thank God I have these memories!!!!!!

  - Amy

• January 8, 2011 1:04 p.m.

  I just wanted to say to all of the people here, if you are taking care of a loved one with alzheimers, kudos to you. Not all people can do this job, and I applaud you. I myself take care of a loved one. My father is 73 with stage 6-7 alzheimers. I only know this, because I read all that I can. What I know, is that every doctor, social worker, internet site etc... has a different answer to many of my questions. I now know that this disease is as mysterious as anything Ive dealt with. Odd as it may seem, laughter is what has helped my husband and I most days. Yes laughter. Not AT my Pop, but at the silly things that happen because his brain is not funtioning. He tries to turn the channel with his banana. He has lost five of our household remotes.... recovered weeks later, wrapped in manilla envelopes inhis picture and memory box. We laugh, because the alternative tears up apart. Im losing my father a bit each week, and there are days I pray for God to take him in the night. THIS IS HARD. Its hard to watch, and its hard to do!!!! By telling him about memories, we relive them ourselves... this is sometimes a blessing, and sometimes a portal to more fear of what is ahead. He is losing his swallow reflex. He throws up regularly, and lately he has forgotten my mother, his wife of fifty years. I never thought I would bathe my father, yet Wednesday nights are now a weekly ritual of bath time and sometimes play.... yes like a five year old. It is what it is. HANG IN THERE FOLKS!!!!!

  - Susan

• December 31, 2010 5:25 p.m.

  Thanks to everyone for sharing. My husband has dementia and our 20 years together are gone from his mind. I work full-time from a home office so I can be his caregiver and still support us. He is physically independent and physically healthy. I've been caring for him for 7 years now. I live "one day at a time" because I can't bear to think how much longer I must travel this heartbreaking road. I try to take care of myself, but it gets harder every day.

  - MJ

• December 30, 2010 4:30 p.m.

  I recently realized how alone I am beginning to feel in this journey of slowly losing the husband I knew before this disease began to change him. I got the flu one morning and told him that I was sick and I had to stay in bed. By evening I was feeling a little better and told him that I thought I could get up for awhile. He asked me what was wrong. I reminded him that I had the flu and he said "That's the first I heard of it." I understood but it still surprised me. Sometimes he's seems so normal that I find it hard to believe he really has alzheimers. However, more and more those moments are fleeting.

  - Ellie

• December 18, 2010 10:05 a.m.

  OOOOOOOH THE good lord above was watching out for me.Ihave been going through this for the last few days and now I know I'm not along, Had not thought how much apathy went along with this ,this article hit the nail on the head, Its so hard around holidays when everyone is so happy and your kids ack like their is not a problem [or don't give a ;;;;] People r so wrapped up in their own lives they forget about the most important things of life. Its the generation.my mothere also had alz, and I know how much I cared for her. o well we will make it after 50 yrs of being married to dh there is not much we have not faced and made it through. This disease is HELL,it stops your life completely!!!!!

  - Southern girl

• December 16, 2010 9:31 p.m.

  Thank you. my Mom has mild alzheimers and before I knew that was what was going on I thought she was trying to get out of things like tuening on the oven to heat some thing I brought over vs going out to eat. I did not know my mom has alzheimers or i would have never gotten angry. I do feel soem guilt about that. I also feel at times like I have not done enough to help or else being I nurse I should have know that was what was happening. I has all happened so slowly over time and she has had good explainations for why she stopped volunteering and none for why she just stopped knitting. I know she had some sense of something awry because she stopped driving a little over a year ago. Thank God. I take it one day at a time and focus on the good. she always is clean, dressed appropriatley and her apt is cleaner than my house. she's still able to do her own laundry.She lives in a senior apt and has friends and is safe

  - Jill

• December 16, 2010 12:19 p.m.

  When my mom was alive and had alzhiemers I had no one I could talk to or to help me. I would talk to my psychiatrist and he would just tell me to take more of my anxiety meds or want to put me back on Prozak. My mom had the best memory in our whole family till she started taking Prozak for her depression. Mom would sit in her reclining chair and call out my name over and over non-stop and I would stand or sit by her side and hold her hand and tell her that it was me, Sally, but she would continue to call for me. If only I would of had some support four years ago and didn't live in the back woods of a horrible mid Western town I could of done more to help my mom. I became so depressed and felt so helpless, and now I live with feelings of guilt, thinking I could of done more or I could of done this or that. Now all I do is isolate myself and cry and wait for the day that God takes me Home so I can be with my mom and dad. All the life in me is gone. I probably won't remember writing this letter, but I am leaving a note for my children to look at this site so they might understand the disease just in case this is what is happening to me. I don't want them not to have any support or end up like me feeling guilty, sad, alone, and giving up on life.

  - Sally

• December 2, 2010 9:48 p.m.

  I have and do feel all the emotions of madness, left out,sadness,helpless and not one cares. Most of all children that u and spouse have devoted your life to and NOW where r they.doing their thing . I t is hard to go through this and not have the support of your kids knowing what a great dad he was and gave them his time anytime and what now NOTHING My dh is 74 in stage moderate and is so depressed himself and I am getting that way in a hurry and know I dont have it as hard as some. Its wonderful to have such great friends that understand!!!! This disease is horrible and long long , Its has been a bad day maybe tomorrow will be better and maybe the holidays willl just go away!!

  - southern girl

• November 18, 2010 2:47 p.m.

  I feel as though caregivers should receive an extra set of wings when they ascend into Heaven, or just some sort of extra honor in general. The emotional energy, time, patience, and selfless love you put into each and every day with the person you're caring for is unmatched, and I wish I could thank each and every one of you for all that you do and all that you have gone through. I can't begin to imagine the emotional strain many of you must go through. The only somewhat-solution I can provide is the suggestion to look into options to alleviate your stress at least the smallest bit - for example, there's a company that sells a GPS tracking bracelet (check it out at http://www.adiant-solutions.com) that works indoors and out, provides two-way communication, alerts you if your loved one falls or is in a speeding car, and a plethora of other features that can help you locate a wandering loved one and give you with peace of mind. My kindest thoughts go out to all of you. Regards, adla.

  - adla

• November 18, 2010 9:49 a.m.

  It is just nice, although sad for the reasons we are here, to see that other people struggle with patience and keeping their anger in check. I keep thinking I am the only one.

  - Deb

• November 16, 2010 7:21 p.m.

  My mom has been living with my family for about 19 years just in the last six months she has al and i have needed to put her in a long term home for both are healths this really hurts me to do but at the same time she drives ne nuts being here.

  - Denise

• November 14, 2010 11:45 a.m.

  My husband is the final stages (I guess), and he can no longer communicate. I've had him home with me for the past 2 yrs and 8 months. No family support anymore. I feel like I'm loosing it. My Faith in God and my Spirituality has sustained me. I have caregivers everyday for at least 4 hours. I'm exhausted. Today is Sunday, and I've been up since 6:00 a.m. I am ashamed of myself for my behavior. He has been up too. Driving me crazy. He is a very loving man. I know if I stay calm, cheerful and prayerful, I can keep him calm and happy most of the time. He doesn't know "how to stand" , how to follow directions, making more messes faster than I can clean them up. Won't let me help him. Won't listen. I'm sure he is as sick of my voice and I have lost it, twice or three times this morn. by yelling and getting mad. I know it doesn't do either of us any good. I know I can't make his kids or mine come to visit us. I worry about material things that I never use to. He's been on death door so many times, and I have never been this ugly before in my life. I'm doing all the things for myself that I'm suppose to according to the "books". My financial situation is totally nil. Bills and debts aren't. House maintainance is constant. Caregiving services and State services are all worried about money, not us. They don't mention "how are you? or How is your husband?" . I am creative. I love my husband more than life itself. I'm scarred of loosing him. I'm

  - Rita

• November 13, 2010 5:42 p.m.

  I am 70 yrs old, my husband is 80. He was diagnosied AL yr ago. I think he is mild area. the word mild doesn't seem right because it is so bad. we went thru a faze of him being mean, nasty, out of the clear yelling at me. It was so awful and not like hime at all. Now its strange to discribe, he is glued to my hip. he is happy most of the time just wants to be with me. his energy level is low. How fast does this go? right now it seems I can keep things happy. How long?

  - Peggy

• November 13, 2010 12:48 p.m.

  Sorry, this is Jen, again - My mom is 69yrs old with AD. It is nice to read these posts and know I'm not alone. The mixed of emotions that come racing to the surface is overwhelming at times and can come times you least expect it, I could here a song, forget to put my earrings on, here someone's voice you haven't heard in a long time and BAM here come the flood gates of emotions cause I've held them in every day for the last 3 months since my last cry. I have "joined" some Alzheimer pages on Facebook but most of them seem to be just statemenet oriented - Does anyone know of a good website that people like ourselves could go (a blog or chat room etc..) and lean on each other, share experiences, advice, talk about medications, symptoms, etc.. and get some support? I wish you all much happiness and peace through the holidays with your loved ones. God Bless and much love xoxo

  - Jen

• November 13, 2010 11:08 a.m.

  My mom, who has been my best friend and confidant for many years, was diagnosed with Alzheimers over a year ago and has pregressed very rapidly in this horrible disease. Both of my Granmothers had AD and my Great Grandmother (and they say it's not hereditary, right!) I thought I knew a lot about this disease, however I was VERY wrong. I joined a support group for children cargegivers for their parents with Alzheimners - I will never forget what someone said to me the first time I went, a man sitting a couple people away looked at me and very gently said "Do not ever expect anyone to understand how you feel, not your spouse, best friend, your children, no one - that is what this group is for. In order to take care of you, your family and other relationships, come here and "vent" and share and learn with us. I am not saying you can not share with the people close to you but be careful not to make those relationships about your mother's disease and nurture other relationships in your life and nurture yourself throughout this process - you MUST take care of you too." Of course I didn't know what he meant at the time but I do now. This has been the most horrible thing to go through as a family. I am with my mom most ofthe time so therefore I hold in all my feelings and I do find myslef going numb - it affects how I feel about everything. I have always been the "caretaker" of the family and the "fixer", I can't fix this and take her pain

  - Jen

• November 12, 2010 6:41 p.m.

  My mom is 83 and has late stage AD. She just moved into a skilled care faci;ity after being in the hospital for aspiration pneumonia. Her swallowing is impaired. I am her caregiver and also raising a family of my own. I find it heartwrenching when she goes from one stage to the next, and each time, I so very much miss the previous stage after it's past. Enjoy your loved one while they still know who you are! I know it's overwhelming at times, but time is short. Make the best of it, and laugh when you can.

  - suzanne

• November 12, 2010 4:03 p.m.

  http://free-alzheimers-support.com/wordpress/2010/09/alzheimer-sufferers-yearning-for-home/ I found this article interesting, as a care giver one of the most challenging things can be dealing with the overwhelming feeling many have when they are completely lost and do not know where they are. It is an impossible feeling to understand but also hard to help someone going through it.

  - Corrie

• November 10, 2010 8:30 p.m.

  With my mom, in retrospect, I think the "apathy" aspect of dementia is "lucky" for the affected; they don't seem to feel the alarm or fear of what lies ahead for them.

  - Jane

• November 9, 2010 6:21 p.m.

  my downsyndrome daughter just turned 45. She is stillwith me and unfortunately has Hep.C. Hep C does destroy brain cells, and most downsyndromes get Alzheimer's, therefore, I am not sure if she has AD or not, but from what I have read, it sure sounds like she is in the first stages. She was once a very active young lady. Now she has no interest in her cd's, dvd's, word search books, etc. All she wants to do is sleep and that mostly is the hep C. It is great to know that MY emotions are not out of wack. It sure is a learning process for me in understanding her, and extra patience, etc., and also a forgiving process to all those that never call from one month to the next. I think that irritates me the most. two of her sisters call and her one brother.(2 others are lost in space). Friends, well, that's when you know who is and who isn't. Thanks for all the input, it is very much appreciated. Shalom.

  - margaret

• November 9, 2010 5:56 p.m.

  Bonnie: I was diagnosed with AD two years ago and still function quite well although I can see areas where I am beginning to slip. I live in my own home with another person, and my daughter visits and helps out 4 or 5 days a week. I can't do a lot of housework d/t lower back problems. But, to address your concern: I turn most of the lights on later in the day because I feel myself getting slightly depressed, a little lonely, and just "out of sorts." Probably beginning sundowners. A lot of "normal" people feel better in summer when there is more sunlight, and I think we with AD just feel better with the lights on. A small price to pay. I have written a book (Amazon; Kindle; & www.firesidepubs.com) about my experiences during the first year and things I have done to help myself. I may know a little more about AD than many when first diagnosed because I have been a caregiver for my mom for 10 years and worked professionally with AD patients, but it is a whole new ballgame to become the patient. I tried to be patient with my mom, but I drew the line when she tried to kick me. Fortunately, I stopped it before it happened or I could have been abused a lot by her. My five brohers did not believe me when I told them how she acted and eventually had to place her in a nursing home. One took her out then found out the sad reality. Bless you all for being so kind to your love ones. Anyone wanting to see a bit of how I felt when I got the news, check Lois Bennet

  - Lois

• November 9, 2010 4:47 p.m.

  sylvia I hope you hang in there. Family in deneil can be frustrating. My mom who has dementia would "turn on" when ever my siblings where around or called. They where around for only short periods of time. they did not believe me or my Dad that she had dementia. We finally asked each in turn to come for a visit of several days and had them stay for several hours at time with out us. They saw we and the MD's where correct. Re: the time with your loved one. I took my Mom to see one of her favorite musicians recently. I knew she would not remember the next day, but to see her enjoy her self in the moment was wonderful. She lit up and moved to the music. It was the most animated she had been in a while. It is a memory i'll have for years.

  - kim

• November 7, 2010 7:32 p.m.

  Thank you for the advice and giving permission to feel it all. My husband is in early stages of AD. Some family and friends think I am overeacting to my hysbands AD. If only they could walk a mile in my shoes !!!

  - Linda