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• April 21, 2013 9:20 p.m.

  I am a 6 year survivor of stage IV-B grayzone lymphoma - which I am now discovering is extremely rare and even rarer that I survived this long. However, I am beginning to experience odd symptoms. I am having problems with concentration and focus especially when under stress. I also have extreme mood swings and a feeling of loneliness and emptiness even with a full life. I am grateful to be still alive and able to work but lately all I want to do is sleep. Is this long term effects of the chemo or am I depressed or is this all in my head? I hope the pain stops soon.

  - Luke

• January 15, 2013 2:01 a.m.

  I've pretty much had it with these "vital to your recovery phrases". However I am thankful for temporary recovery. But after that, after the feeling good about the temporary recovery comes the return of the cancer. Very big downer. That's the real tough stuff. Carrying on in style is all that's left. So let's do it to the end.

  - tobin

• April 27, 2012 11:28 p.m.

  Last November I had a lungectomy and removal of lymph nodes as well. I am doing well as for the physical side. Although I am very depressed. Don't want to get out of bed, don't want to do anything. No socialising, nothing. I am taking something for depression but I do not think it is working and will discuss with doctor, however, I would like to know if this is normal. They got all the cancer. I feel empty and like being alone. Don't want anyone around. Is this depression?

  - Barbara

• December 31, 2011 10:42 a.m.

  I think something is "lost in translation" when circumstances require treatment at different facilities. Brain surgery at Mayo. Radiation and chemo at U of Iowa. Incorrect diagnosis and treatment at Iowa. Treatment at U of Wisconsin with correct diagnosis and treatment. At no time were psych/soc services offered. However, we found them through a mutual friend and WI - at least a support group. No recurrence so far, but the probability is it will be back since the entire tumor could not be removed. Where to turn?

  - Joan

• December 15, 2011 11:38 p.m.

  My 30 year old daughgter was 1st diagnosed with breast cancer at age 28; we recently learned that the cancer has returned. She have had a fever ranging from 100 to 104 for over a month. Initially she was told that it could not be the return of cancer because fevers and cancer are does not coincide; she was later told, "sorry I was wrong". She continues to suffer with the fevers with no relief insight. Please let me know if anyone has had this problem and what was done to provide reief? The depression is starting to take its toll.

  - Francine

• November 3, 2011 11:41 a.m.

  Depression affects us all differently. Before my islet cell, radiation and chemo, I had lived through several stages of epilepsy during nearly 72 years when cancer struck. It wasn't easy, but I learned one thing from my neurologists and personal research, which has fortunately kept me seizure free during my cancer ordeal--"try to keep my mind occupied with things of enjoyment." Even if I play card games with others, or computer games, etc. I've completed 5 cycles of Sutent but try to keep my mind occupied instead of thinking of the pain or future. Kay

  - Kay

• November 3, 2011 11:38 a.m.

  Depression---interesting subject. I think about it all the time. I first found I had NHL in 1993. Then clear for 10 years. From 2003, until now I have had several more lymphomas, and two stem cell transplants. I now take 13 different drugs a day for immune suppression and prophylactic care. I have some side effects, like GVHD from my new stem cells donated to me. Also some other things like weakness and balance. I am still working full time plus. I feel like each day is separate from the next without continuity. Maybe partly age and partly meds effecting thought processes. Concentration is not like it used to be. Multitasking is harder. Writing all this is to say that depression is hard to deal with for me. I have all the symptoms listed, except the weight change part. I have always dealt with my own emotions and keep trying to look at the optimistic side of life. I am not sure what that is when you see your best friend and father dying of cancer,wife recently with breast cancer and the unexpected death of a brother. Part of the normal course of life I suppose, but it really hits you hard as you reach your 60's. Many days I feel like it isn't all worth hanging around, but always think of my wife and kids to keep me going in a positive direction.

  - Herb

• October 28, 2011 7:26 a.m.

  I'm in stage four colon cancer, have had surgery and am now in chemo. Still have my hair. I feel like drinking alcohol all the time even though this was not a problem before my diagnosis. Will this affect my chemo?

  - Jenny

• October 26, 2011 9:47 p.m.

  My best friend was recently diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. She was an otherwise healthy 67 year old, who was an accomplished professional person to someone I don't recognize almost overnight. She is now almost unable to function, ie; forgetful, angry, hopeless and sad. As her primary caretaker, I am convinced that her pain is not severe aT this time, but her state of mind is right now the root cause of her aches and pains. I am interested to know how others have dealt with this and if Mayo offers good support in this area of treatment. We are flying to Mayo for a consultation on treatment options next week. HELP!!

  - Anne

• September 2, 2011 4:58 p.m.

  Exactly 2 years ago I was diagnosed with an aggresive tumor of the right ovary. I was told it was a very big one (18 CM) and classified as a grade VI aggresive clear cell carcinoma. Being married to a doctor I knew the seriousness of my illness. By the time all the findings were pathologically weighed I had gone through the worst days of my life thinking of my probable premature death (I was 64 at the moment and had always been very healthy and kept all my preventive medicine appointments in perfect order.) But,Life really brings surprises. Oh,and this occurred after 13 months of taking care of my husband who had suffered a brain clot..., had to close his office and practice permanently and abuptly, which meant that I was coming from a previous hard suffering and change in life style. Now I was and am the head of the house so to say. Well... all these be said to give the glory to the one and only that had the power to give me strenght to endure the hard days: JESUSCHRIST. I really don't have the slightest idea how can people survive life trials if they don't have FAITH in His love.Through it all I put my WHOLE TRUST in the Lord our God and today my husband and I travel a lot and give thanks to God that permits us to be alive. My husband almost die from his CVA and my cancer hadn't invaded any of my organs nor 21 nodules extracted. So, you can get sad but PLEASE DONT DESPAIR. I have proven beyond doubt: "EVERYTHING WORKS TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE H

  - carmen

• September 2, 2011 4:23 p.m.

  i got lung damaged after chemo and radiation(2009) since iam living with 24 h. pxygene and can no more walk i am very drpressed.pls help sara

  - No name given

• September 1, 2011 7:33 p.m.

  I had colon Cancer and had I had a colonostopy I would not have had the problems I did and had to have several inches of the colon removed. The clue here is if you are having unusual bowel movements you need to see a DR. Anything that is strange to your routine see the Doc.

  - Clay

• August 25, 2011 9:45 p.m.

  June 24 2011 My husband and I both were diagnosed with cancer on Oct of last year. He with stomach cancer and I with breast cancer. As per my doctor I am in remmission, but my husband do not. He is very deppressed, and has all the symptoms mentioned. I have told his doctors but the medicine do not work on him. What do you recommend. Priest and friends are always coming to our house. Prayers and help is given to us, but he seems not to appreciate them. He does not want to show his emotions and have no interest in his grandchildren whom he adores. please, let me know your comments.

  - Nydia

• June 24, 2011 3:43 p.m.

  I had a kidney remove in October 2011,everything was good in March the ct scan showed I had cancer in my lungs,a spot on my liver and they think its in my back.I lifted a table in Sept.broke my back they said no cancer but had 5 biopsi they showed no cancer but the doctors says yes even the radidiogy deptmart no cancer.I am on sutent round 2 inish my 3rd round in July then another cat scan.I was wondering is there anyone out there that has kidney cancer and on the sutent.Please I am depressed and i need to someone that has cancer and is on sutent.

  - shirley

• June 23, 2011 11:33 a.m.

  I don't really feel that your info helps......it's just vague common sense.....and perhaps that's the best there can be.

  - Myra

• June 6, 2011 2:36 p.m.

  This comment is also for Sridhara. I am glad that you found the blog and have a way to express your feelings. Please know that you are not alone. It is serious that you are feeling empty and have even tried to end your life. Your family is trying to reach out to you. Please promise to talk to someone about how your are feeling. Depression can be treated; so you can have hope and look forward to better days. Along with Christi and others here with you; remember that you are a blessing. Your family cherishes time with you. Make new memories with the time that you have together. You are valuable and precious to them in so many ways.

  - Sheryl

• June 2, 2011 3:08 a.m.

  Dear Sridhara, I am not even sure how I found this website. I just stumbled upon it. I was looking up "chemo brain". As a caregiver (My mother has lymphoma), please know it is such a blessing that you have survived. My Mother had a bone marrow transplant and stem cell transplant. She is still fighting and I admire her so very much. It has been hard and is still hard to see her have to go through what she deals with every day. She has "better days" and I thank God for what an inspiration she IS in my life. I say this to tell you, what you may feel is a burden to others, they truely see it as a blessing to have you. My heart goes out to you and your family during this very scary and difficult time.

  - christi

• June 1, 2011 11:49 p.m.

  As a colon cancer diagnosed and treated patient, i experience emptiness continuously and lack a general appreciation of things of common interest.Many a time people (wife and son) feel I am off beat and lost and find my responses when they come to be ireelevet to point in discussion.. I am really happy to be left alone and be on my own but they insist on me being partcipative.This makes me feel like getting away from all this and even end my life. I have tried twice without success as they have brought me back home after i have walked out on trivial issues.How can i make living easy for me and others around me? i have lost my earning capacity and am a burden on others already.I wish i had notsurvived.

  - SRIDHARA

• May 19, 2011 2:45 p.m.

  I am an 11 year colon cancer survivor, and was just recently diagnosed with Stage I breast cancer. As I was looking up information, I found the blogs about chemotherapy and depression. Soon after I completed chemotherapy the last time, I began to feel depressed; I was even having thoughts of suicide. Fortunately for me I knew enough about what was happening that I quickly saw my doctor, and made an appointment at the mental health center. I want to second what "TLC" said. If one has diabetes, they take insulin, an infection, antibiotics, and so on. Depression should be no different; it is a disease, and needs to be treated. It is not smart to try to tough it out on one's own. If I hadn't gotten treatment for my depression, I might not still be around to fight this cancer, and while I don't like the cancer, I am glad I am still among the living. Lori

  - Lori

• March 18, 2011 2:41 p.m.

  I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer in Dec., 1995. Had it removed at the Mayo clinic, Rochester, Minn. After 5 years, my PSA began rising.The cancer was spreading to my bones. From 2000 to 2007, I tried hormone and radiation treatment. In 2007 my PSA reached 150. I thought I was dead. It was time for chemotherapy.The last 4 years have introduced me to many new and not so enjoyable side effects. A great many of my friends are praying for me. prayers are being sent from Florida, Michigan, Alaska, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Texas, Minnesota and more. I believe that the reason I'm still fighting this @@@@ is because of my friends. We just returned from Jamaica. I rode horses in the Carribbean, snorkled and relaxed. I plan to 'live ' as long as I am able.

  - Tom

• March 14, 2011 11:29 a.m.

  Depression can easily take over during the fight against cancer. We must also not forget that depression not only can take over the patient, we must not forget to watch for signs in the caregiver.

  - Frank

• February 3, 2011 12:58 p.m.

  I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 11/9/10. It is devastating, my whole world stopped. However, I took action. Whithin 2 weeks of the diagnosis I chose to have surgery quickly. Depression was horrible. I went through my ups and down. It is important to release all the emotions instead of holding them in. You must verbalise what you feel. What has kept me going is working out everyday. Every once in while I get emotional and it ok, because I let go and fell better afterwards. I do count my blessings everyday. There is a phrase I hear somewhere that I have adopted "everyday above ground is a good day" and "to feel good you must look good". So on days when I don't feel great I take the extra time to take care of my outlook and it works for me. It is all about attitude.

  - ana

• January 23, 2011 2:57 p.m.

  I just went to University of Michigan Hospital on Friday. My CA125 went from 51 in October to 91 in January. I have 2 cysts on my ovaries, growth on my uterius and large endometerosis layer. I am going in for a D & C on Feb. 1. At that time I am told a few days later if I have cancer and the next step is a hysterecomy. At that time it will be determined if cancer has spread in my body. Is it true that an Oncologist goes to the extreme and takes out a lot of things in your body that is not necessary? To say the least I keep going up and down in my moods and terrified I am going to die.

  - peggy

• January 19, 2011 6:44 p.m.

  In Nov 2008 I went into 'day' surgery for a cyst on my ovary.... woke up in recovery and was told I have Stage 3B Ovarian Cancer...needless to say, my 5 hour stay in the hospital turned into 8 days. I cried for 3 days straight. Everytime someone came to visit me, they gave me 'that look'. DEPRESSED - Oh yeah. By the time I came home, I decided to do whatever it took to make me feel like 'me' again. Cancer would not define who I was. I would stay true to myself. I began treatment right away; but had days that coping was difficult (some days overwhelming emotions and crying bursts) I was prescribed anti-depressants. This was an internal conflict.... I always saw the cup half full, not empty...if this illness can depress me, so I see less hope, then I need to take back my 'positive attitude'. The pills help. Many times I thought I could handle the treatment, tests, labwork, PetScans, etc. and would decide to wean off the meds. But I found my anxiety would build up that I didn't even want to be around myself. So...for those that 'have a problem acknowledging that you need a boost' TAKE THE BOOST. The meds take the edge off a stressful time, make you easier to be around, and help you see the good each day brings (not the bad the day might bring). I've had a recurrence and have decided to live my life as large as I can. Doing the things I love, ignoring the things that bring me down. Meds help - me cope, I dont want to waste a single day.

  - Cha

• January 17, 2011 12:51 a.m.

  I do not have cancer. My best friend does. She is stage 4 with liver and lung cancer.She is wondering how this will affect her because she has suffered from a high level of depression for many years. I know she is the best friend I will ever have. There is really nothing to be done. She was told the diagnosis 2 mo. ago. She is waiting for a call from a specialist to see what treatment she will receive. I think they have given up on her because she is very ill. They did tell her she has anywhere from 6 mos. to a year. She is on morphine. If she does pass away she hopes she isn't so depressed that she can find no joy in the time she has left.

  - Diane