- With Mayo Clinic health education outreach coordinator
Angela Lunde
read biographyclose windowBiography of
Angela Lunde
Angela Lunde is a dementia education specialist in the education core of Mayo Clinic's Alzheimer's Disease Research Center at the Abigail Van Buren Alzheimer's Disease Research Clinic in Rochester, Minn.
Angela Lunde
The transfer of information about dementias, as well as understanding the need for participation in clinical trials, is an essential component of the education core.
Angela is a member of the Alzheimer's Association board of directors and co-chair of the annual Minnesota Dementia Conference. She is a member of the Dementia Behavior Assessment and Response Team (D-BART), a multidisciplinary outreach service assisting professional and family caregivers in understanding and managing difficult behaviors often present in dementia. She facilitates several support groups, including Memory Club, an early-stage education and support series, and more recently, helped to develop and now deliver Healthy Action to Benefit Independence and Thinking (HABIT), a 10-day cognitive rehab and wellness program for people with mild cognitive impairment.
Angela takes a personal interest in understanding the complex changes that take place within relationships and among families when dementia is present. She is particularly interested in providing innovative and accessible ways for people with dementia and their families to receive information and participate in valuable programs that promote well-being.
"Amid a devastating disease, there are tools, therapies, programs and ways to cope, and it is vital that families are connected to these resources," she says.
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Alzheimer's blog
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Nov. 16, 2010
Caregiver begins journey by transforming herself
By Angela Lunde
Last week in a new support group I was facilitating, six care partners — all women, introduced themselves to one another. Each woman spoke at length about her husband. They brought up the struggles their husbands were having with memory and reasoning. Some spoke about the changes in behavior and personality. They mentioned numerous ways in which they were trying to help their husbands. However, when it was Roseanne's turn to speak, she said something more like this:
"When my spouse was first diagnosed, I was not thinking how can I help him, or what can I do for him, how he'll cope or what will this will be like for him. My initial response to my husband's diagnosis was, What about me? How will I get through this? Who will help me through my grief? I know this may sound selfish, but I instinctually knew I needed to take care of myself or I would be headed down a path of emotional and possibly physical decline.
"So, I immediately started seeing a therapist twice a week to work with my grief, I nurtured my relationships with good friends, I began to journal, I made a commitment to physical activity, and I took up a hobby I had relinquished some time ago.
"Now, almost 8 months after my husband's diagnosis, I can appreciate what will be required of me to transition from my role of wife and into one of caregiver. I am in a better place physically and emotionally to meet the inevitable challenges I will face. I can accept the truth as it pertains to our life right now and cope with what is. This does not mean that it will be easy or that I like it. My husband's diagnosis at 63 was, and is, devastating, but by taking care of myself I know I have been strengthened."
"We can't change the loss, but we can transform ourselves."
- Antonio Sausys, yoga therapist
31 comments posted
October 17, 2012 12:36 p.m.
Thank you for this! I am young with two young children caring for my Grandmother with stage 2 and its hard to remember to even eat when attending to my babies needs and hers. I am working on this as we speak. I just need to b econsistant with it.
- Ashley
June 18, 2011 11:57 p.m.
How do I begin? My husband and I knew each other since 1956 when he was a Captain and I worked for the Red Cross. He was 13 years my senior and was my protector. He told me what younger officers NOT to date. We were great friends and then we were getting serious and the army transferred him. To make a very long story shorter - he got married - I got married.He told me not to marry a man from a foreign country - Poland. So after 40 years, my marriage breaks up and I start looking for him to tell him he was right. So when I find him, his wife had died 6 months prior to my call. So I am thinking, finally my life will have a happy ending. We talked on the phone for 2 and 1/2 years before meeting. Then after 3 months 3 months we married. I found my protector once again. He was right about the man I had married - I was alone most of the 40 plus years of marriage - except for the 3 children I had. After we married we had a good time - we honeymooned in Hawaii. He is a great swimmer. Still can wear his uniform after all these years. (I can't say the same). I fluffed off signs that I did not want to acknowledge. After all, I didn't really know him. We lived part of the time in the NW where he had a home and half the year in the south where I lived and then things begin to unravel as the signs were unmistakeable. He is after all 13 years my senior. When we came to my home I got him neurologist with the dreaded result of Alzheimers. He is on 2 drugs for the last
- Mary
March 25, 2011 1:42 a.m.
52 YR. OLD MALE CARING FOR 84 YR. OLD MOTHER. I AM THE BABY. REMEMBER WHEN I COULD NOT WALK, TALK, FEED MYSELF ETC. IF MOTHERS/FATHERS HAVE THE PATIENCE TO NURTURE & LOVE US WHEN WE ARE HELPLESS THEN WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ACCEPT THE REVERSE ROLES? MAYBE CUZ I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED OR HAD KIDS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH BUT FEEL SO INADEQUATE CUZ I AM UNABLE TO DO FOR HER AS AN ADULT IN THE WAY SHE DID FOR ME AS A BABY. I AM DISCOVERING THAT HER CHANGE IS OPENING DOORS OF MATURITY BY MY CHOOSING TO RESPOND TO ALL THE STRESS IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE & ACCEPTANCE. EACH DAY BRINGS NEW CHALLENGES. REMEMBER THE SERENITY PRAYER. GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN & THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
- DAVID
December 30, 2010 1:41 p.m.
My husband, four children and I are caring for my 87 year old mother in our home. People ask me all the time how I can handle her with all of my other responsibilities, but in reality I know that I could not live alone with her. She forgets she has eaten and demands food and cookies all day long. She will even get up at night to look for food. It breaks my heart to think of who she used to be compared to who she is now. She says funny things every day that make us laugh and I post them on my facebook page to share with friends and family that aren't close. Reading the words of others going through the same thing really helps me to realize that I am not alone. Thank you for providing us this page, and thank you to everyone that is willing to share.
- Paula
December 16, 2010 3:57 p.m.
Mom is declining and now she has Hospice Care. I am trying to prepare myself for the iinevitable. I have had her now ninety years. She is a strong and courageous woman. To see her decline really hurts emotionally; but, I have a grief support group which understands and for that I am grateful.
- mary
December 6, 2010 12:15 p.m.
When flying we hear: 'first put on your oxigen mask, then help those around you'... It feels right, yet, in regular life, we easily think that we must first be there for our beloved or our clients rather than for ourselves. The need for self care is crucial if we really want to be there for others, and perhaps that is the first and foremost transformation needed: to be able to be there for us first. Thanks Angela!
- Antonio
December 2, 2010 2:53 p.m.
My husband was diagnosed 8 1/2 years ago. He is now 80 years old. With the help of Razadyne and Namenda he has done quite well. He no longer drives, tho he thinks he can. He takes care of himself as to dressing, eating. I have to encourage him to change clothes and bathe. We are now almost to the point of not going out to eat, he brings it almost all home so he can eat it his way. My big problem is with the Christmas season I normally decorate with lights, a Nativity scene, etc outside. And I decorate heavily in the living room, family room and entry. This year he has started with: Jesus never had lights all around where he was born, their was no Christmas tree, no pretty packages under the tree and he goes on and on. I normally put up decor right after Thanksgiving, it is now almost a week and I have nothing up. What should I do? Go ahead with some or all or just forget it. But he does talk about my Christmas list. Someone else is doing shopping for him and has told him so. But there is no mention of our decor. He does mention every night about neighbors having lights up so early. I told him it's just 3 more week to Christmas.
- Jeanne
November 30, 2010 10:47 a.m.
I am writting because my heart goes out to every single caregiver. I lived with my mother for 15 years. she was my best friend till the end. she did not have Alzheimer but she was diagnosed with CLL (Leukemia) when she was just turning 71. Other wise a very healthy woman all her life. We still had a lot of fun and was able to make a couple trips to the beach but as time went on she was in and out of the hospital and out patient chemo. I tried to take good care of myself but found it very difficult. I lost my job at a hospital i worked at for 11 years due to thinking my back was hurt and huge companies don't care so they put me on a leave and let it run out. meanwhile I was home with my mother for 5 months and I wouldn't change a thing. However; I still can't find a job and that is horrible but I had that special few months with my mother. Please try the best you can to take care of your health as well as your loved one and tie a knot in the rope and hang on. I so understand the stress that comes with caregiving. God be with each of you. sincerely, sharon
- sharon
November 29, 2010 7:20 a.m.
Hi, mem, this is such a wonderful article. I love it!Savings Accounts
- Undra
November 22, 2010 8:00 p.m.
My 73 year old husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 4 years ago. I felt that I was prepared to care for him since he had been sick for many years and had had to take early retirement at age 50. I did my best for these four years but I got very tired emotionally and physically.Early in the disease we discussed what I should do in the future and he agreed and signed a paper saying that I was to put him in a Christian home near us.That time arrived this Fall. It was with a heavy heart that I spoke to the director of the home to say that I was ready.(We had put our names in several years before). In five weeks he was in the home and we began the very sad job of adjusting to our new life. At first he was very unhappy and didn't want to stay. Leaving him there was very painful! Now, 5 weeks later he is quite happy to be there . I spend a few hours with him almost every day and he is so happy to see me. He tells me he loves me and wants to kiss me a lot (even when we are out walking----like a couple of teenagers!) I am feeling much better and actually enjoy being with him now that it is not constant frustration. There was some feeling of guilt and it was hard to give the care giving over to others. I realize it will be different from what I would do but they are kind to him and tell me what a nice man he is. I miss him a lot but I think that we will have better quality time together this way. I know this was the right thing to do for both of us.
- June
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