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• May 2, 2013 11:26 p.m.

  I have postpartum depression and nothing is helping. most days i am fine (by fine i mean not tempermental) but every day i feel like my baby and i aren't close. we cuddle and read and i do what i am supposed to and take care of him, but as a new mom who wanted him more than anything, it hurts to not want to do anything. i feel like a bad mom even though i do try to do everything right but i don't have the motivation to do anything but take care of him and work. this is all putting a huge strain on my relationship with my fiance. i love my baby and i guess my ppd is considered to be severe but know that i would never hurt him or myself. i am on an antidepressant but i don't feel like 50mg is enough to keep me calm and see the time i spend with my baby as a blessing, not a chore. i need help i think thank you to all who reads this i just needed to tell that to someone.

  - Amanda

• April 3, 2013 11:04 a.m.

  I'm about 18 weeks now and have struggled with severe depression most of my life. I'm bipolar, so extremes are my forte. I am terrified of postpartum depression because I think due to my on going mental illness that I'm more susceptible to it, however after reading a lot of these posts I realize that I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I've been there, done that, so to speak. What worries me is thoughts of harming the baby. I've always taken my anger out on myself, not others, and it scares me to think I'll have thoughts of smothering my own flesh and blood. Luckily I know where and how to seek help along with having a supportive boyfriend who is very understanding and always trying to understand my condition. I don't know how I'll be when the baby is finally here(and out of my damn body!), but these blogs have helped me realize I've already faced such demons in the past so facing them again isn't as frightening anymore. I also have the knowledge of medications and which ones work for me when I can go back on them if need be. I thank all of the mothers out there for reaching out in dark times. Don't be afraid to admit the horrible thoughts you might have, just know there is help out there.

  - Claire Bear

• March 11, 2013 8:02 p.m.

  Hello. I had PPD and PPOCD. I had intrusive thoughts. Woman and infants hospital in providence RI has a day program for women perinatal(pregnant) And post partum mood disorder. It helped me so much! You bring your baby with you and they have all the supports you need! I promise this does heal! I had such bad OCD I has no idea what to do....this is over two years ago now but I promise ladies your are normal. Go get help from you're Obgyn.if they aren't helpful call the hospital day program I mentioned. TheER will keep your and you're baby safe for short term. Therapy, and needs help.... can go off Meds after one year and your will be yourself again. It's tough I know, but keep telling yourself this is hormones and you heal

  - A

• March 6, 2013 2:29 p.m.

  I suffered a post partum psychosis for wich I was hospitalized three weeks . I had to be hospitalized two more times for three weeks each again. My psychatrist not only saved my life but also saved the life of my children.I am happy to say that all is well now.

  - Kate

• October 21, 2012 10:42 a.m.

  my baby girl is 10 weeks old, we had only been married for four months when we decided to get pregnant. I got pregnant very quickly and had a very easy pregnancy and delivery. when i held my daughter for the first time I immediatly fell in love with her. she is my everything. I experienced the baby blues which everyone told me was normal. I assumed they would just go away. however, it has gotten worse as time has gone on. I snap at my husband for everything (I realize im doing it and then I break down and cry and apologize), I know he is becoming frusterated with me. I just havent felt like myself since I had her. I love her and my husband so much so I dont understand why I feel this way. Its like I feel like my brain never stops, that im constantly feeling like im doing everything wrong and that I cant be everything that they both need. I had a hard time going back to work and have a hard time leaving her. I feel like no one cares for her right. She got a horrible diaper rash and I cried so hard over it cause I feel like im being a bad parent. I feel like my husband doesnt understand and the more I try to explain it to him he gets more frusterated with me. I dont know what to do. I just want to feel like my old self again. I have so much in my life to be thankful for and I feel like im being so selfish.

  - Jessica

• October 17, 2012 11:36 p.m.

  Post partum depression can happen anytime after birth to 6 months after the baby is born.SP it sounds like your pregnancy was a difficult one. Bedrest is not easy. I had to do it for one day before my youngest was born and hated it so I can only imagine what 7 weeks in bed would be like. You have had lots of differnt things causing you stress or even distress in the last year. You may have post partum depression that is increased because of all that you have been going through. Talk to your husband. Get an appointment with a counsler or your health care provider to see what is available to help you through this time. Perhaps you and your husband can do some couples therapy. Please post again and let us know how you are doing.

  - Mary@Mayo

• October 2, 2012 11:31 a.m.

  Is it common for PPD to start weeks after giving birth? I wasn't feeling this way just after giving birth to my son. Now he's 4 weeks old and I'm more irritable than ever. I don't like my husband anymore, I feel like my unhappiness is becoming more and more amplified as the days pass. I was on bed rest for 7 weeks prior to giving birth and I feel like I'm losing my entire identity...so much that I'm going back to work 4 weeks early to try and reclaim a part of who I am. Before my pregnancy, my husband and I were having issues and I was ready to leave. I ended up in the ER because I fainted at work and hit my head. I was extremely stressed and exhausted from trying to juggle work, home, marriage, a 4 yr old daughter, and school. 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We are trying to patch up our relationship, but I just don't know if what I'm feeling is PPD or due to what was already happening in our lives. Should I talk to my doc about this?

  - SP

• September 20, 2012 10:46 p.m.

  To Mary@Mayo... When trying to submit a post the box where u type in the characters before submitting isn't right. U cannot properly click on and post. Please fix. Thanks.

  - Alone

• September 20, 2012 9:59 p.m.

  Stina babe, Did u go see someone? I do know what u mean by intrusive thoughts. R u on any meds to help? I was on a very low dose antidepressant but after seeing my OB/GYN at my post appt we decided to increase the dose. I have felt so much better since then. I still have a lot of anxiety but it has helped. I have 2 boys myself and am overwhelmed most I the time so I cannot imagine 3. I told my husband we have to be very careful. I want another but not for a few years. Please write back. I will be thinking of u and praying. Alone

  - Alone

• September 16, 2012 9:36 p.m.

  about 3 weeks ago i started having alot of these symptoms my son is now almost 4 months and he is my 3rd baby boy...Im always sad ...i never want to be around him ...i feel like i want to just give him up for adoption becuz i am not bonding with him at all ....i am seeking help as of tomarrow i have an appointment to see someone about this but this is out of control....i have had alot of stress during my pregnecy also so much to were i didnt and wasnt ready for another baby so soon...i have intrusive thoughts if anyone knows what that is..and i feel like i cant be alone with my baby .... am i alone here? am i crazy? im trying to figure out what type of PPD i have?

  - stina babe

• September 4, 2012 1:17 p.m.

  I'm sorry no one has replied to your post. I can understand your sense of isolation. It's hard to go out and about in the world with a young baby. Then you have to add a toddler to the mix and it really ramps up the difficulty of it. I have pretended I was trying on clothes so I could nurse in the dressing room. My toddler was crawling under all the stalls whether they were occupied or not. It seemed like I never had enough hands. If I sat down to nurse then the toddler started some mischief. That's when I lost the long hair. I was all into the wash and go short hair. I can remember trying to explain to my husband that it felt like everyone wanted a piece of me and there were no pieces left for me. You have so much on your plate right now. Ask your husband to have a Daddy night where he and the kids have an outing leaving you with a few hours to do what helps you recharge for the big job you do every day. Ask for help from your husband, your church group. See if it is possible to have a cleaning service come in once a month. Hire a sitter for the kids and go to the library. Many libraries have free internet available. Heck, you could find a coffer shop and work there on your on-line classes or just have a cup of decaf. You are important and you deserve to ask for help and expect to get it. I think sometimes we feel like we are not doing what we are supposed to do when we ask for help. Taking care of yourself benefits the family. Keep reaching out.

  - Mary @ Mayo

• September 3, 2012 7:54 p.m.

  Tell me the point of posting my feelings when no one is answering. This just makes a person feel even more alone.

  - Alone

• August 27, 2012 4:08 p.m.

  Are there any moms out there dealimg with PPD and 2 little ones. I have 2 boys under 21 months. I don't know what to say. I love these children so very much and want so badly to raise them to be happy and successful people, but I find myself overcome with frustration. Even now I am typing with one hand while holding a bottle with the other. On top of that, my older child is stackimg toys on meand pulling on me, I haven't had a shower, I haven't brushed my teeth, there are dishes piled in the sink leaving me no good clean bottles, I haven't washed any laundry, I haven't had a nap b/c they never sleep at the same time, and did I mention I'm taking 4 classes online to get a better job. I virtually never leave my home as it is not close to anything and I end up getting so flustered, especially since I'm still breastfeeding and only nice baby stores have nursing rooms. Does anyone else have to pretend to try something on just to get into a fitting room to breastfeed your baby...oh and do you have a toddler in there with you?! I want to nurse but feel so isolated. My husband trys to be patient, but I can tell I am making his already stressed life worse. I am on a very low dose antidepressant, but it isn't cutting it and I don't want something more because I'm breastfeeding. I don't know the answer and feel so alone.

  - Alone

• August 20, 2012 9:44 a.m.

  I was never depressed a day in my life. I had it. It's tough since so much is changing so quickly. And our hormones are also changing. Thanks for this article. I also found a super helpful site. They do interviews with Doctors, Doulas, Midwives, Lactation Consultants, Nutritionists & more. And there is an interview on Postpartum Depression by a leading experts (SUPER HELPFUL for me)....maybe it'll help you too: http://yourbabybooty.com/category/interviews/ (also their Resources 101 section is amazing)

  - Jenny

• August 13, 2012 10:10 p.m.

  I am a new mom too. I have a 2month old. It is easy to feel overwhelmed with a new baby. They are a lot of work. It is also extremely hard to go anywhere with a new baby. After having a new baby, you can feel that your life is over because you are so confined. I think the biggest problem we have is not enough help at home. I think that getting someone to come help you clean house, babysit while you go to the store, or take care of baby while you sleep is very important. Remember this, new babies will grow up extremely fast. Try to cherish everything about your baby because they will grow up way too fast. Ask family or friends to help, hire someone, get an Opar, make daddy do his share, or take baby to daycare. Some churches have Mom's day out. If you are a single mom, find another single mom and help each other. Remember, you are not alone. Lots of us are going thru the same thing. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am going to be okay. Consider yourself lucky, there are a lot of women who aren't able to have a child and would gladly take your baby.

  - Cindy

• July 14, 2012 11:25 a.m.

  Amanda you have a lot on your plate. Your life is very complicated and I can understand your feelings. You're a new mom and a new step-mom and a new wife. That is a lot of change! You are not a failure. You do need some help though. You need to talk to someone who can help you sort through the complex issues you have. I would recommend someone who has experience with new moms as well as blended families. Don't wait for things to get better. Take care of you because if you do that, you will be taking care of the whole family.

  - Mary@Mayo

• July 12, 2012 2:57 a.m.

  I think that I have PPD. My daughter is 3 months old. I don't feel like I want to harm myself or her, but I just don't feel like myself.I feel alot of anxiety.I get irritated very easily.Especially with my two step kids.Which makes me feel extremely guilty.I feel worthless.I am terrified that I am going do something wrong and screw the kids up for life.We are also dealing with alot of drama with my husbands ex wife.She has been a nightmare since my daughter was born.She is very manipulative.So this causes alot of stress.I have dreams about my husband getting tired of me and leaving me.I dream that his ex wife takes my baby.I also dream that my step kids hurt my baby very badly.So I wake up in a cold sweat in a panic just about every night.I cry all of the time.In a very short period of time I went from being single to the mother of 1 and stepmother of 2.Insta-family if you will.So I get overwhelmed pretty easily.I get extremely depressed when I have to go to work and be away from my baby.So I have trouble performing tasks at work because I am on the edge of tears the entire time.I have never felt so down in my life.And I am terrified that if it doesn't get better that my husband is going to leave me.He is completely supportive but everyone has their breaking point.He is such a great man and I love him so much.I just feel like a failure as a mother, stepmother and wife because I can't seem to shake this.

  - Amanda

• July 7, 2012 5:34 a.m.

  Ive been reading some comments and they break my heart. Please try giving your troubles to Jesus. He's worth and shot and you won't be disappointed.He is all that gets me through. He is my strength. He promises to help those who come to him. I'm praying for all of you who are troubled. Mathew 11:28 Come unto me all ye who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.God Bless you all.

  - Amy

• May 30, 2012 11:01 a.m.

  Yasmine, please go to the nearest Emergency Room. Find a responsible person to watch your daughter and go immediately. If there is no one to care for your daughter, take her with you. Tell the providers what you have told me. They can help you and help your baby to be safe. Don't worry about what people will think, just go right away.

  - Mary@Mayo

• May 23, 2012 6:58 p.m.

  My baby is 4 months old now. i started crying on the 2nd day after giving birth. i kept thinking why did i have her if she's going to die anyway? when and how will she die? will i still be alive to witness it? and by the first week i smothered her for 5 seconds. I continued to feel miserable for 6 weeks but then i started feeling better. unfortunately last week i tried the smothering again. i love her so much and i dont want to hurt her!!! but i dont know what am i thinking when i do it. please help. i love my baby so much

  - Yasmine

• April 29, 2012 2:08 p.m.

  i'm glad to see that im not crazy. my depression started in the middle of my pregnancy. i found out i was pregnant two months after my seperation with my husband who relationship was rocky for 9 years. this news made me very upset and mad. we got back together to try to work things out, i already had two other children by him. the tears started at 5 months of being pregnant and hasnt stoped and my daughtor is know 7 mts. i feel hopeless like a bad mother, and pray the the Lord takes me. the pain becomes unbarable, i get thoughts of harming myself, or drinking. anything that can make me feel better. my kids see me cry all the time. my husband is tired of me, i feel like i have nobody to turn to. everything my husband says or does always hurts me and makes me depressed. i feel like a selfish person to let my children see me this way. i am a stay at home mom who never gets any help, i hate being at home all day, i have no friends. nothing in my life is going right or maybe it just me. please give me some advise. es

  - es

• April 22, 2012 5:01 p.m.

  also i just wanted to tell you danielle that i had terrible enxiety for most of the last 9 months this last montnh has been a lot better zoloft is terrible and be careful if you go off it it can cus a suicidal crash. (it happened to me) make sure you go off it slowly and also dont go off it to nothing wellbutrin can be a good one with no side effects also there are stuff you can take both natural and not before you go to sleep to avoid the panic attacks

  - y.o

• April 22, 2012 4:57 p.m.

  i wrote a few months ago and ive been reading these latest posts. im now almost ten months after giving birth. everything i tries is written below i wont repeat myself but for me nothing has changed. i especially identify with desperate my family watches my daughter a lot and i also feel they feel its burden. right now my husband and daughter are asleep next to me and i feel more alone when he is here then when i am alone. my sisters came to visit and i hid in my room. there is no one to talk to because no one understands. i know what your going through. i wish i had a solution and not only more sadness and dispair but i odnt. all i can say is that a least in the way you feel your not alone. you should be so proud of yourself for going to school i left my job and cant seem to do anything except cry and yell if my husband tries to talk to me. someone told me about a natural dr that is saposed to cure ppd (and other hormonal problems) ive been taking the stuff for three weeks and nothing yet. he says it takes about 4 weeks to see a difference. i can update if it works he works in the us and israel. i know the feeling of wanting to dye. i cry for hours and beg gd out loud to just kill me and end this i dont ant to go to sleep cus i dont want to wake up and face another day of living. desperate you must remind yourself in those moments as hard as it is that its not real you need to find the tiny oart of you that still exists that knows this is an illness not you

  - y.o

• April 10, 2012 1:06 p.m.

  Dear desperate, I want to tell you that you are not alone and I and that your son would not be better off without you. I hope you are telling your psychologist about these feelings. Sometimes medication isn't the only answer. Talk about other options. Are there agencies in your area that could help? Does the college have resources for single moms? Maybe talking with your family and finding out if they are angry with you or not. Don't give up. Keep looking and asking for help. There may be church support groups or on-line support groups. You are not alone!

  - Mary@Mayo

• April 4, 2012 10:07 p.m.

  everyday i wake up i am angry at myself, just for waking up and being alive. I hate it. i hate my life and I hate myself. I try to do the best i can for my 9 month old, he is a happy and healthy baby but I still feel like I am not good enough for him. I feel like he would be better off if I were dead. His father left us before he was even a month old so iam a single 19 year old mom who is going to school full time. I can;t get help from my county for childcare so i have to rely on my family to help watch hime while im in college all day and they seem to resent me for the burdon i put on them. I am trying to do the right thing by going to school so i can have a career to provide for my son but i always feel like im not doing the right thing and not good enough to be his mother. i cry all the time everyday. every minute i spend alone i spend in tears. i really just want to kill myself, i see a psychologist once a week and i am on medication but it is not enough. I feel so alone in this world. I moved away from my home and friends to be my family so ican get thier help while im in school so i don't even have any friends or anyone to talk to about how i feel besdides my doctor. I can't stop feeling like this and i don't know why but it seems like i just feel worse and worse every day. I'm doing everything i can to help myself! does anyone have any suggestions for me? am i really as alone as i feel?

  - desperate