Alzheimer's disease

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• May 15, 2011 10:17 p.m.

  My mother has Alzheimer's. I try to spend some time monitoring the latest in research which will some day cure this horrific disease. I just read the article on huffingtonpost.com on the possible link between Alzheimer's and Herpes Simplex Virus. Check it out. It can be inspiring to all caregivers to read that significant advances could occur on our lifetime with new research. Care for your loved one but never stop hoping for the future.

  - Beth

• April 7, 2011 3:41 p.m.

  My husband was diagnosed about a month ago with Alzheimers and just a few days ago added a diagnosis of Bell's Palsy. Since the new diagnosis he has become really needy due to not remembering the schedule for the new meds and the reason for taking them. The hardest part of my care for him with the dementia so far is that he wants to know every detail (even if he can't remember) about everything. I have always been the major decision maker in our family and just work problems and plans out by myself - so this is really new and hard. Sometimes he agrees with me about decisions and sometimes he argues with me and that is hard. I can give him reasons why we should do something a certain way - but it seems like he has just lost that sense of reasoning. I guess that I'm just getting a preview of what's ahead. How do I go about finding a support group for myself?

  - Evelynne

• March 14, 2011 1:23 p.m.

  My husband came home from being in the nursing home for a month after an episode of what they call 'freezing' with his Parkinson's. He also has Alzheimer's and he kept saying that he wanted to go home, that this place was mine and not his. He was wanting to know when he could go home. He couldn't grasp what I was telling him that he was home and that this was our home. This is two months later and he just can't comprehend what me and the children have told him. It is sad that this has happened to him and to so many others. I guess I thought if I could reason with him and tell him that he would understand. I took it personally that I couldn't help him understand, but I can't. That is the hardest part for me.

  - Eileen

• March 12, 2011 8:58 a.m.

  I live with my mother who has been diagnosed with vascular dimentia. We use to be best friends but now she sees me as the enemy. She has very little left in savings and kept spending too much of her SS giving to any charity that asked. I finally had to take her check books away and am going for Conservator. While there is so much she can't remember, she can remember this and is always asking me why. Am looking for a good way to handle this as I don't seem to be coming up with anything on my own and it always ends up in an argument. She threatens to move out because she can't remember it is her house. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  - Karen

• March 7, 2011 10:30 a.m.

  Dear Lorene, Thank you for contacting Mayo Clinic health information. We’re happy to allow reputable sources to cite our content. We provide guidelines on our site that offer some additional information which we hope will be of use to you: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/source/AM00117 Your interest in Mayo Clinic health information is appreciated.

  - MayoClinic.com staff

• March 5, 2011 3:08 p.m.

  I would like to quaote from this blog for an article in our local paper. Where do I get the permission reqiuered from our paper?

  - Lorene

• February 15, 2011 7:33 p.m.

  What are the stages of progression?

  - Hannah

• February 13, 2011 9:56 a.m.

  Jan, Chuck noted one source. If you or someone you know just Google the words 'alzheimer's support groups' you will have many sources you can follow up on. Also, if you live near any hospital or nursing home or assisted living facility that has alzheimer's patients, you can see them for information about support groups as well.

  - Allan

• February 12, 2011 11:37 p.m.

  My wife's dementia started in 1995, but we thought it was stress from her school library technician job. She was diagnosed with dementia in late 2000 and identified with Alzheimer's in early 2001. I cared for her at home for the next 6 years, 24/7. She would awaken every night a minimum of 3 times and get her sleep back during the day, but I couldn't trust her if she were to begin moving around the house. We joined an Alzheimer's Association early stage support group which gave much good info. By 2003 I was in dire need of a support group. Family Caregiver Alliance held several classes teaching caregivers how to manage their lives. After a multi-week class, my classmates decided we were all so compatible we wanted to continue to meet at our own homes to discuss our problems and issues... to use each other as resources for problem solving. Members of the group were care giving dementia, Parkinson's and brain injury spouses. We had cross trained each other on how to manage people with debilitating illnesses. The group meets to this day with new dementia caregivers as well as those who first started the group. Many of the older members have lost their spouses, but continue to come to the meetings as support for the new members. We started with 12 members and are at 24 today. I find effective support groups are those with people unafraid to try new things with their spouse based on what has worked with others. My wife resides at a 6 client RCH today with late stage AD.

  - Chuck

• February 12, 2011 8:37 p.m.

  I just lost a friend, she was 97. She was placed in an assisted living home. They were the most uncaring bunch of people i have ever seen. My friend ended up with sores on her bottom because they were to lazy to check her and take care of the situtation before it got so bad. She had a stroke and no one notice. I told them i thought she had a stroke and then they were going to ban me from coming to see her. I was there to see her on Feb. 6,2011 and i knew she was pretty bad off, but she talked to me and told me how pretty the flowers were that i brought her. On the next day the social worker (not from the home) called and told me she was taken to hospital. If the home had of called me i could have gotten there before she went into a coma, and at least she would have known someone was there for her. I don't ever want to see anyone else go into this place. With the compassion they have for people they should work in a prison. There is alot more i could write about this place but i won't. At least my friend doesn't have to be there anymore.

  - Georgia

• February 12, 2011 4:45 p.m.

  How do you find a support group in your area? I need it for me and then my Mom. Thanks for your help.

  - Jan

• February 12, 2011 6:45 a.m.

  Several reactions to some recent posts ... Medication - no med will 'cure' AD but some meds do slow down the process for some people for up to 1-2 years. There is absolutely no research I am aware of to support any AD med being effective beyond 2 years, despite doctors continuing to prescribe them. Support groups - it may take some searching to find the right one, but when you do you will find not just support from others going through the same thing you are, but also a lot of helpful advice. Where I live, the Alzheimer's Association support groups were not helpful ... they had no separate groups for spouses, and they only met once a month. However, I did find a weekly support group sponsored by the Alzheimer's Foundation that was solely for spouse caregivers. Even better, at the same time I am in my support group for spouse caregivers, my wife is in a support group for people with early to moderate stage AD. If you are a child dealing with a parent or a spouse dealing with a spouse, you should seek out a group just for others in that same boat ... and, hopefully, a group that meets weekly. Many also find support through online support groups. Caregiver Guilt - please do NOT feel guilty for trying to seek some invaluable 'me time' for yourself if you are a caregiver. Caregivers cannot give their best to their spouses who have AD ... or to a parent with AD ... unless the caregiver is first taking good care of him/herself. Respite time is okay!! No guilt!!

  - Allan

• February 11, 2011 9:14 p.m.

  Thank you Cindy for your words of encouragement. I know that my husband will be well taken care of by his daughter. I really enjoy reading these posts & Comments. It shows me that I am not alone that many people are facing what we are and its good to hear their comments.

  - vicki

• February 11, 2011 7:53 p.m.

  Good posts. You do have to be realistic when it comes to support groups...and find the right one. Sometimes people are there to get help and move on, but some groups are filled with people who want to drown in their own problems, which isn't always constructive. Here's a good primer on the stages of Alzheimer's. It helps to recognize things and get help early if you can! http://www.eldercarelink.com/Go/Alzheimers-and-Dementia/The-7-Stages-of-Alzheimers-Disease.htm

  - Allison

• February 11, 2011 12:49 p.m.

  I just popped in and saw the first post from Colleen. My dad was an "in-charge" guy, the "lord of all he surveyed", and unlike most of the Alzheimer's patients I've encountered, he has become quite docile and lovable since he first moved into assisted living. Yes, I know how incredibly lucky I am. Doctor put him on Aricept which brought back some of his "you're not the boss of me" attitude, but not all of it. Right now, my only problem is that he thinks his shower is a closet, and I can't get him clean. But I'll keep working on that and thank my lucky stars that he's not ornery like he used to be before Alzheimer's.

  - Denise

• February 11, 2011 9:16 a.m.

  I am so greatful for this email. It may have just saved my life. May God bless all who are receiving this devestating prognosis. Mary

  - No name given

• February 10, 2011 6:54 p.m.

  To Vicki, I care for my dad. I had the opportunity to go on a 7 -day cruise, leaving my dad with a wonderful group of professionals for the whole time. I worried before I left and then as I left him to get to the ship I felt an incredible weight lift from my shoulders. My dad recieved wonderful care, I got to cross some things off my bucketlist, and yes we are worth it. I feel refreshed and I feel like I am careing for my dad with a new outlook. It is okay to let ourselves live a little. Please take time for yourself. Everyone wins!

  - Cindy

• February 10, 2011 3:52 p.m.

  I was a caregiver for my 83 yr.old husband until he passed away in Sept. of last year. I cared for him for 8 plus years and he was in the nursing home for only 13 days when the Dr. said I could no longer care for him at home because he needed medical care I couldn't give him. I would give anything to have him back home with me. Be sure to give your spouse many kisses and hugs, you will never regret it.

  - Donna

• February 10, 2011 12:39 p.m.

  I am a 57 yr, old housewife taking care of my 75 yr. old husband who has been battling Alzheimers for around 6 years with the last 2 years progressivly worse.He has a daughter that has been helping me which I am very thankful for, However besides that I am doing this alone. I have been invited to go on a vacation with some friends at church and the daughter has agreed to take care of him that week. I am really looking forward to the Respite but however I have bouts of wondering if I am doing the right thing. I love my Husband with everything I am, but I know I also need a break every now & then for my sanity and stress.Do you think taking this time for a rest is the wrong thing to do or the right thing to do.

  - vicki

• February 10, 2011 12:09 p.m.

  I found the same thing when I first attended Alanon and Families Anoy. I just wanted to "fix" the problem. There are no fast "fixes" and these programs are to help us, not fix someone else.

  - Karen

• February 10, 2011 9:52 a.m.

  I am a caregiver for my husband. I am 50 and he is 56. Together we have a son who is a high school freshman. In December 2009, he was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. We were thrust into the world of Alzheimer's. Initially, support groups were overwhelming. It's not easy to hear other people's stories, especially when they are farther down the road than you are. We initially went to a group for people newly diagnosed. It was helpful because it was more of a six week class. From there we graduated into another monthly group. That one was challenging. Going monthly, you really didn't get to know the people, and as I said, some were much farther down the road. It was scary to hear their stories. Along the way, I found caregiving.com, where I now blog about my family's life. I find incredible support there from people who read the blog. I like that I can give support and offer suggestions to other family caregivers. If something is overwhelming, I can deal with it when I feel up to it. I like that I can login any time, day or night, and vent about my life or ask for assistance. We attend a weekly support group now. I go because my husband likes his group. I do not really like the caregiver group because I feel we are pushed to have a "breakthrough", which usually means the caregiver is crying.

  - G-J

• February 10, 2011 9:52 a.m.

  My mom was diagnosed almost 10 years ago with vascular dementia. She has been taking 10 mg of aricept since. She has had no side affects physically from the medication to date; however, the dementia does continue to progress - but slowly. Now she "forgets her words" and sharing what is on her mind has become difficult. She is, however, with the assistance of a daily cna for medication/showers, still living in a senior independent living complex (where meals/activities/housekeeping are provided daily)

  - Sherry

• February 10, 2011 8:48 a.m.

  Walter, my Mom has dementia/alzheimer's and her doctor put her on 10mg's of Aricept. It has changed her behavior immensely. We put her in an assisted living home and it she now loves it. Thank God that I have a brother here (1 sister another brother in MN). He has been my "rock". When we first put her in the assisted living home it appeared she took everthing out on me. Maybe because I am her (daughter) and POA? Or, maybe it is because I always told her I would take care of her when she got old? However, I developed Fibermyalgia about 5 years ago and couldn't take care of her at home. I've went through all the feelings that I have read from others on this website and with that and the help of my brother, I have learned to let go of those bad feelings. Like I said, the Aricept has really helped her and now it is enjoyable to visit her.

  - Jane

• February 10, 2011 8:43 a.m.

  Walter, as you have read, Aricept and Namenda are reported to slow the progress of dementia, but not stop or cure the disease. The problem is that you don't know how fast the disease would progress if the person were not taking the medication. You can only trust and hope that it is keeping your loved one functional longer. As for side effects, they vary with the individual. My husband suffered from nausea from Aricept to the extent that we discontinued the medication, but he is tolerating Namenda well.

  - Iris

• February 10, 2011 8:14 a.m.

  I am interested to know the opinions of caregivers regarding the effect of medicaion for Alzheimer's. I have readmuch of the medical literatiure. I am not sure if the "statistical" improvements claimed for Aricept and other similar drugs, translate into improvement observable by the care givers. There also seem to be an awfully high incidence of side effects, especially nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea. Opinions and comments will be welcomed.

  - walter