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    Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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  • Stress blog

  • March 2, 2011

    Speak now, don't forever hold your peace

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

8 comments posted

The beloved television commentator would be stepping down after a magnificent career spanning several decades. His baritone voice provided comfort in times of chaos. His was the measured response to uncertainty. He was our favorite uncle, a confidant who helped us see the light through the darkness.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

He orchestrated his final show a year in advance. He would not be one of those aging stars who can't give up the spotlight. He would choose when to take his final bow. He planned out what he would say very carefully in a three-minute goodbye speech. Corporate headquarters, recognizing his greatness, agreed to let him have that time.

The day of his final show arrived. His guests were the customary fascinating personalities. Throughout the show he kept his composure. As was expected, there was a 90-second commercial break before the final goodbye. A production manager sprinted onto the set and said the station needed to cut away because a golf tournament had gone into a playoff situation. Our host was devastated.

He asked how long he would have. He was told he'd have 15 seconds. Being an unflappable professional, he quickly summarized a 20-year career in 15 seconds. But as he walked off the stage, it was not with authority, but with an overwhelming sadness and emptiness. Is this all there is?

So what's the point? What's the lesson? Don't wait until the final chapter, until the final curtain call, to say what needs to be said. Take advantage of each day, of each moment, to say thank you or to ask forgiveness of those you may have offended.

8 comments posted

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  • May 9, 2013 12:43 a.m.

    Marilyn, I can identify with you somewhat. I have battled depression my whole life as well. Maybe your body has become used to the drugs and you need different drugs. I know that some days I would really love to talk to someone about everything that I am feeling down about..but I don't. Write down a list of everything that is good in your life and tape it on your bathroom mirror. Also, having dog or cat really helps. Also, choose one project and work on it until it is finished. It will give you a great sense of accomplishment. Maybe you should look for a different psychiatrist? Good luck to you....I will send a prayer your way!

    - Mary

  • May 7, 2013 8:30 p.m.

    I just want help. I have been living with major depression my whole life and it keeps coming back. I am now 47 and have ran out of options to help with my mental pain. I have asked my psychiatrist and have been to hospitals for this condition. My doc. told me that I am on 3 depression pills and a anxiety pill and does not want to switch my medication. He gave me 7 kolonapin to get me through the weekend and I feel the same. My husband told me to do something, that he wants his wife back. I am a recovering alolcholic so I do not know if he really knows who I am, we will be married 12 years in JUne. Do I end my pain, will people know what kind of pain I am in??? Please someone help me.

    - Marilyn

  • December 17, 2012 12:47 p.m.

    Hi Georgia, I too have tried to "teach" my family how to treat me. Really all I'm asking for is for them to love me as I love them. But they tell me they do love me, in their own way. No hugs, no "I love you's", no appreciation expressed for the sacrifices I make for them; but they say that is not necessary (and I must conclude that my asking for these things is ungrateful on my part. I too am waiting for something better in heaven.

    - Tricia

  • March 28, 2012 3:44 p.m.

    The caregiver MUST keep mobile- get execise at least 30 minutes a day...can walk the halls if living in an apartment building or other multiple dwelling building. From my own experience I did NOT do this and ended up developing double pulmonary emboli just the week before my husband died, after a year of dying...I almost beat him to the pearly gates! And for the folling year, I again was immobile taking care of "settling " his "estate' and again acquired another puplmonary embolus which I am dealing with now. Older persons must keep moving..must keep exercising.

    - MLSW

  • August 21, 2011 12:15 p.m.

    The final curtain has come and gone for me. I've tried for years and noone will listen to me. Things will never change and I'm sooo tired now. I am a very good person, too good sometime, but now I'm just ready to see what God has in store for me in heaven. I'm ready to my family that is already there. I just don't have the strength for this earth anymore.

    - Georgia

  • March 9, 2011 1:29 p.m.

    Five years ago, the sudden and unexpected death of my beloved 53-year old brother taught me some very important life leasons; the two most important ones being that life is precious and life is short. I learned that material things are just fluff. They may temporarily make our lives more comfortable, but in the grand scheme of things they're really very insignificant. When all is said and done - when my last breath has been drawn - the only legacy that truly matters is that my family and friends will be left with absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I loved and appreciated each and every one of them.

    - Janet

  • March 9, 2011 12:23 p.m.

    Yesterday I wrote our local newspaper about a cartoon that had been published on the Op-ed page. It was about one a leader of one of our opposition parties who is ill. It was, I said "offensive." My husband, who is a Palliative Care physician said it was "disgusting." Then I went on in a postcript to decribe the deterioration of the newspaper. It is biased toward one political party and has journalists who need to be move on and a an editor who began as a business editor and is unsuited for this job. I sent copies to some of the good writers, letters to the editor and the publisher. It was very cathartic. In the scheme of things, this obviously is not as important as what Carol discusses in her note. However, as a long time subscriber to my newspaper, I wanted to be heard and I was. I'm very glad that I did it and did not just let it go.

    - Barbara

  • March 4, 2011 10:18 a.m.

    I liked the title of this. It really got my attention. It reminded me of the death of my parents. I did tell them I loved them before they passed away, but not nearly soon enough to really tell them how much. I learned from that to indeed tell those I love now, every day,v5cgwl what they mean to me. Nice blog again, Dr. Creagan.

    - carol

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