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  • With Mayo Clinic oncologist

    Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

    read biography
Please read: Important 2013 cancer research update from Dr. Michael Camilleri

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  • Stress blog

  • April 27, 2011

    Bouncing back from adversity: Discovering your new normal

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

3 comments posted

I really appreciate when readers share their incredible stories of heroism, perseverance, tenacity and especially resilience. It's amazing the ways people find to deal with tragedies and disappointments.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

Researchers tell us that despite soul-shredding and punishing setbacks, most people eventually achieve a "new normal" where they again feel joy and happiness, and even look forward to the future.  You may need someone else to point it out to you, though. Let me explain.

A few days ago while walking to the parking ramp after a difficult day I struck up a conversation with a beloved, iconic leader of my organization. For 15 years, this woman was a major player in the national health care scene. When her time in office ended, she shifted to a less demanding and less public role.

After she stepped out of the limelight, she said that a number of coworkers stopped her to say that she'd never looked better. They said her smile and the spring in her step had returned. She seemed to be enjoying life once again. Amazingly, this all came as a surprise to my colleague.  She didn't know how weighed down she'd been until the burden of leadership was lifted from her.

So, at least one message is clear. You need at least one person to hold up a mirror to tell you how you're doing in an honest and compassionate way. I recall a mayor of New York City who would walk through the neighborhoods of that bustling metropolis and ask people, "So how am I doing? How do I look?" The answers to those questions provided a solid grounding for him.

Who serves that role for you? What would they say to you right now?

3 comments posted

blog index
  • August 12, 2011 11:29 a.m.

    Great hammer of Thor, that is powerfully hlepufl!

    - Blondy

  • May 16, 2011 11:38 p.m.

    I never really thought about this. Thanks for bringing this to my attention!

    - Chel

  • April 27, 2011 9:32 p.m.

    I enjoyed this article (my first time on this site) as it hit home for me. After a DX of Wegener's in 2004 and losing my brother in 2007 stress has played a big part in my life yet its a battle to keep calm and relaxed--knowing that stress is no good for my health and can bring on a flare as it did in 2010 I must do what is best for me--I did seek counseling for a time and met with much success yet having this blog will be very helpful to me. Your mentioning new normal is so true as I am unable to do what I used to do -having had a stroke in 2003 then the DX --one does have to adjust to living differently but in the scheme of things it is pretty good -- Now blessed with 3 Great Grandchildren there is joy --I always try to look at the good things and that's what gets me through--I have super children and a good hubby (who also has medical issues) so we get through it together. Mari

    - Mari

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