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    Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

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  • Pregnancy and you blog

  • June 3, 2011

    Pregnancy spacing: What's best?

    By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

6 comments posted

When I was a child playing house with my friends, I knew exactly what I wanted my grown-up life to be like. I'd be married to a tall, handsome pop singer (not telling which one — it would date me too much). We'd have four children, two boys and two girls with two years between each child. Out of that lovely fantasy, one thing came true. I got married.

I'm not sure why two years between children seemed like the perfect pregnancy spacing in my 9-year-old imagination. As an adult who started having children a little later in life, two years seemed too long between babies — yet my second and third children are two and a half years apart. In the end, pregnancy spacing is often based on a combination of personal preference and luck. You might want to space your babies close together so you get the diapers and child care done earlier. You might want to space them further apart so you can enjoy the specific stages of growth and development with each child before you introduce another child. Sometimes you get pregnant sooner than you thought you would or long after you hoped you would.

When you're planning your next pregnancy, you have many things to consider:

  • Your health. Has your body completely recovered from pregnancy and birth? It can take a year or even longer to develop stores of essential nutrients that may have been depleted during pregnancy and breast-feeding.
  • Your children. How will another baby affect your older child or children? Some people space children close together, hoping that the kids will feel like best friends. Others space them further apart to make sure that each child gets individual attention or is more independent when the next one comes along.
  • Your finances. What's the state of your budget? Having babies close together might get the drain of child care off the budget sooner, and it might be easier to focus on your career if the kids are all in school at the same time. On the other hand, spacing children further apart can give you more time to recover from the financial and emotional impact of pregnancy and early child care.

Finally, remember that things don't always go according to plan — so be flexible. In the end, the ideal spacing between children is what works for you and your family.

6 comments posted

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  • March 4, 2013 10:21 p.m.

    I'm pregnant with my sixth child. My first three children are now 20, 19, and 18. My husband and I put five years between number three and four (on purpose because we wanted to enjoy baby four). It happens that baby five was born eight years after baby four. Baby six will be five years younger than baby five. I six strongly believe that the spacing between siblings impacts child development. If I started over, I would have spaced the first three farther apart so that each child would get more individual nurturing in the first five years. That said, number four wishes she had older or younger siblings closer in age. There are pluses and minuses to all options. The important thing is to make the best of the way things turn out.

    - Teena

  • January 4, 2013 12:45 p.m.

    Thank you Dee for your suggestion. There is a great deal of research about child-spaciing. All show benefits and risks, pros and cons. Here is a link regarding the research http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/family-planning/MY01691. There are no absolutes regarding the perfect spacing of children. Each family is unique and will make their own unique decsion.

    - Mary@Mayo

  • January 2, 2013 10:10 p.m.

    This article fails to mention research linking birth order and spacing to various developmental outcomes. For example, multiple siblings spaced close (less than 12-18 months) togethr is asociated with lower IQ, learning problems,increased behavior problems and greater family stress. Children with wider spacing tend to perform better on cognitive and academic tests than their peers. Though I agree that each family must consider their personal circumstances (such as maternal age), I think the author should have at least considered research indicating that a 3-5 year spread is associated with the most positive developmental outcomes.

    - Dee

  • December 20, 2012 12:55 p.m.

    Im 31 weeks pregnant now and will be delivering a few weeks before my 37th birthday. I want to make a healthy little sibling for my baby girl as soon as possible after her arrival. I needed the help of clomid to conceive this one so i already spoke with my OB and she is OK with giving it to me again for baby #2. I dont want to wait just in case my lil ole eggs decide to expire soon!! Good luck ladies! Becoming a mom has been incredible so far... cant wait to see what the future holds :)

    - Suzy

  • April 13, 2012 2:38 p.m.

    I think the age of Mom has to be considered...time is short if you're in your late thirties and want to have more than one kid...in a perfect world two years sounds good, too, but we'll probably try as soon as possible for another, as there are only so many eggs that drop!

    - Charlie

  • June 19, 2011 10:54 a.m.

    I have just gone off the pill and this is all the kind of stuff I am thinking about. I am trying to write down everything I am thinking and experiencing on my blog... http://ksigue.wordpress.com/ Thanks for this!

    - KSigue

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