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  • Stress blog

  • July 13, 2011

    Exercise your right to say no

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

7 comments posted

Sometimes life just doesn't work the way it's supposed to. Relationships unravel. Hard work isn't always rewarded, and recognition doesn't always come. This is just the way life is. So what can you do? Start by recognizing that you have choices.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

Let me give you a specific example. I participated in a meeting with some wonderful colleagues about an important medical topic. We met over the lunch hour, which is never ideal, but it was the only time we could get together. We weren't able to resolve all of the issues, and a colleague suggested that we meet again early the next morning. Most members were agreeable to do so, but I wasn't since I work out each morning.

With some uneasiness, I explained that this time wouldn't work for me. Some of my colleagues reacted as if I were from another planet. Nevertheless, I felt comfortable with my decision, although there was a moment of uneasiness.

Sure it's hard to disappoint colleagues, but I made my choice and accepted the consequences. And you know the world didn't unravel simply because I didn't attend an early morning meeting.

So you see I don't just pontificate about the need to take care of yourself. I try to live it. What stories can you share of a time when you had to put yourself first?

7 comments posted

blog index
  • July 28, 2011 3:23 a.m.

    Thanks for the great information! This really helps! I have started jogging recently, wanting to take this chance to rest and relax. But I guess I'm kind of overdo, as I often feel a sudden pull in my thigh muscles. Do you happen to know of any best back pain cream? I have heard of this pain rub cream called RubOnRelief. Do you happened to come across any rub on relief reviews? Looking forward to your reply! Thanks a lot!

    - RubOnRelief

  • July 22, 2011 8:26 a.m.

    I think sometimes it is just hard to say No because of the environment pressure.

    - Ron

  • July 21, 2011 10:11 p.m.

    The field of economics, now much in contention, has at least one concept we can all use and agree upon as individuals--that of 'opportunity cost.' It boils down to this: your time and other resources are finite, so trade-offs are unavoidable. If you decline one commitment, you are in effect saying 'yes' to another, even if it's needed down time. For example, declining another social commitment may mean accepting time alone to recharge your "batteries." So, to respond to Judy below, and recognizing that honesty is the best policy, it's fair to say that you have another commitment--even it that just means more exercise, time alone, reconnecting with someone important, etc. "Why thank you for the invitation, but I already have a commitment." Opportunity cost: there's no such thing as a free lunch, In summary and in general, you give up this in order to pursue that--but most of us are not accustomed to thinking in these terms.

    - Alan

  • July 21, 2011 8:06 a.m.

    It would be helpful to give examples of wording to use when saying "no". Thanks.

    - Judy

  • July 20, 2011 9:19 a.m.

    Feeling I had served my two years of volunteering after retiring, I decided to relax and enjoy life. Then I was asked to be council secretary. I declined but was talked into being assistant secretary as obligations would be fewer. The secretary resigned and I became busy again. Anxiety built, and I became uncomfortable. After completing two terms, I retired to my domicile, monitored phone messages and avoided all social activity. Slowly I returned to social life but learned to say "I'm sorry, I can't," to committments in order to keep my comfortable cool.

    - roberta

  • July 19, 2011 5:36 p.m.

    I was going to work an extra day, but found I had some personal problems that required my attention. Even though I felt a little guilty I called and said I couldn't come in.

    - Maureen

  • July 14, 2011 12:59 p.m.

    When my mom and my husband and I moved in together, I started urging my mom to exercise. She had always said, throughout her life, that she didn't have time to exercise, working and caring for others. It took quite a while, but she finally started going to the Y and doing the Arthritis Foundation pool exercise classes. Now, I love hearing her tell people that she's not available in the morning because she puts her exercise at the top of her priorities. She's a real success story. At 89, she's moved from barely able to walk (at first I took her to the pool in a wheelchair) to driving herself and walking into the pool on her own. I'm so grateful!

    - Alma

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