- With Mayo Clinic certified nurse-midwife
Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
read biographyclose windowBiography of
Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary Murry is a certified nurse-midwife in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
Murry, a Cincinnati native, has been a nurse-midwife practitioner for more than 20 years and is an instructor at the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic. She was a contributing reviewer and writer of the "Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy" book.
Her research interests include adult female survivors of sexual abuse, women's perception of pain in labor, and obesity in pregnancy.
Latest entries
- Foreskin: To keep or not to keep?
May 21, 2013
- Travel during pregnancy
May 7, 2013
- Gas in pregnancy
April 23, 2013
- Varicose veins and pregnancy: Legs and more
April 10, 2013
- You're pregnant! How will you share the news?
March 26, 2013
Free
E-newsletter
Subscribe to Housecall
Our weekly general interest
e-newsletter keeps you up to date
on a wide variety of health topics.
Mayo Clinic Housecall
Stay up to date on the latest health information.
What you get
- Free weekly e-newsletter
- Mayo Clinic expertise
- Recipes, tools and other helpful information
- We do not share your e-mail address
Pregnancy and you blog
-
Sept. 1, 2011
Teenage pregnancy: Advice for parents of teens
By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
When my kids were teenagers, I would occasionally subject them to "the talk" during dinner. The talk wasn't about sex — it was about not having sex. They'd roll their eyes, look at each other and usually the oldest would say, "You saw a pregnant teenager today, right?" Of course that was true. Throughout their teens and early 20s, I lived in fear that one of them would get pregnant or father a baby. My fear was probably magnified by all the pregnant teens I'd encountered in my professional life.
I believe it's important to talk about teenage pregnancy with your teens and preteens — both girls and boys. Adolescents aren't known for their ability to see actions and consequences or to project into the future. They're also likely to romanticize challenging situations, such as teenage pregnancy. These tendencies might be compounded by the celebrity status of pregnant teens featured in popular reality shows on TV.
Ask your teen if he or she knows anyone who's been pregnant while still in school. Talk about how your teen's life would change if he or she had a baby. Get specific. For example, would your daughter want to go to prom pregnant? Would your son want to drop a favorite sport so he can work to earn money for the baby? Would it be possible to finish school? What would it feel like to be responsible for a helpless infant? Who would support the baby? Let your teen know that he or she can come to you with questions or concerns. Also remind your teen that it's essential to tell you if a pregnancy happens. You don't want a surprise delivery.
If you're faced with a teenage pregnancy, it's tough to predict how you'll feel. You'll probably experience a mass of emotions: anger, disappointment, fear. All of these feelings are real and you can't decide that you just won't feel them. Instead, acknowledge your emotions and work with them. If you're angry, say so. If you're caught up in your emotions and don't think you can have a productive conversation right away, let your teen know that you need to put some distance between you and the news — then agree on a specific time to sit down and discuss the decisions that need to be made.
When you talk to your teen about the options, remember that any decisions about the pregnancy are your teen's to make — including whether to keep the baby, have an abortion or place the baby for adoption. Your decisions focus on how you'll support your teen and his or her decisions. If you have strong feelings against abortion, how will you handle a decision to end the pregnancy? If you feel that keeping the baby is the wisest choice, how actively will you participate in caring for or supporting the baby?
When you talk with your teen, discuss how the pregnancy will change your teen's life — as well as how it will change your family's life. Talk finances, talk responsibilities, talk school. Talk about everything. Listen to what your teen is saying and ask how he or she is feeling. Let your teen know that his or her feelings are important to you. Above all, love your teen no matter what.
4 comments posted
February 21, 2013 9:59 a.m.
This is ridiculous. Telling anyone not to have sex isn't going to work, unless they really don't want to (ie- priests). How about showing them how to use condoms, how to size, spermicide, and birth control? Maybe that would actually work instead of pretending virginity makes them better than everyone else, or instead of pretending your child is going to obey every little whim of yours. It's their life they're living after all.
- Mary
October 21, 2012 3:25 p.m.
my daughter is 15 and pregnant and is confused about everything. If your parents wont listen there is always someone out there that will just keep looking.
- trisha
June 22, 2012 8:50 p.m.
im 15 and pregnant any advice from other girls would be good thanks
- rebecca
September 12, 2011 12:40 p.m.
Thanks!
- Alberto
Share on:
4 comments posted