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• February 3, 2013 7:41 p.m.

  MY FATHER DIED 32YEARS AGO IM STILL HAVING A HARD TIME COPING WITH IT HAVE NIGHTMARES

  - MICHAEL

• September 16, 2012 1:39 p.m.

  Following a very tragic death of my wife and having to drive for two days knowing that I would have to turn the machines sustaining the living body of the woman I had adored within our relationship for almost 14 years, I found myself without support floundering emotionally for months whilst I asked everyone why they had abandoned me. I was adopted as a child and put on the streets at 15 so didn't have family of my own to turn to and when I met my wife I embraced the whole of her family as my own, protecting and helping them all as required. It turned out that the father had left half his house to her in a trust deed that meant that I got the share when she died as her husband. Given the very real grief that I faced I also the lost the whole of what was my new family and within 3 months the father died and in just over a month more also lost the mother.. I have relocated my life to another side of the country and over what is now 2 years slowly dealt with the loss and loss's. I forgot to mention that within a week of loosing my wife my granddaughter had liver failure that left her on life support for 6 weeks (she is ok for now) Life has thrown so much at me and still I see the sunshine but it has taken two years for the rain to stop... I still have legal issues with the family and ongoing grief for the loss of them all but I write this not for sympathy but to hopefully give a reader strength to know that "it will get better" just remember to remember the good times d

  - Mike (UK)

• March 5, 2012 7:12 p.m.

  My best friend of 27 years died the week before Thanksgiving. I was numb for 2 weeks, with many sleep problems. Then I really grieved for 2 months, with frequent sadness and an even more pronounced scatter-brain. I believe I'm through it now, although I didn't know much about grief before and even now. I've been reading some things recently, including this website, and they help. I will always talk about Larry and look forward to meeting him again in heaven. I am too lazy to exercise regularly, but need to redouble my efforts. I was and still am very open with brothers and sisters in Christ about Larry's death, with strangers, and even with a therapist at the employee assistance program (the only facet of my grieving that did nothing at all for me.) I have cried for Larry, my doctor thought I might get depression again (I had it for 45 years, until the Holy Spirit cured me 19 months ago), and I went through some of the purported stages that Dr. Kubler-Ross mentioned. I have moved on. A friend is going to do a 12-week grief recovery workshop, but I can't afford the money or time and don't think I need it. I have done the exact opposite of trying to pretend that Larry didn't die or isolate myself. Now, to the exercise regimen...

  - Dan

• January 31, 2012 8:29 p.m.

  I'm going to a Pet Loss (death) Support Group, to try to deal with the death of my beloved canine soul mate. Most people, doctors included, don't understand that losing a pet can hurt just as much, or more, as losing a relative. The grief of pet loss can be both long and overwhelming.

  - John

• December 28, 2011 9:38 p.m.

  Im so sorry for your loss . All hospitals and Drs want is money . I had a close friend that had Medicaid and because of that was treated unfair as a patient. She needed a knee replacement and they put her in the hospital and they didnt operate because of the amount of money they would receive. She went for theorpy that was useless using more money . She suffered for years , she fell downstairs a few times because of her knee giving in . The hospital called thw police , they came looking for me. I was in the Hospital, I had Cancer and had an operation . They saw that I couldnt do anyrhing I was too sick . I survived , now shes gone, WHY ?

  - charlie

• December 27, 2011 7:59 p.m.

  I guess I am grieving the death of my mother. I was not close to her. She was for the most part a selfish person- trying to convince the world that she was a caring kind & religious person. She hid her opinions with over religious zealous and manipulated those around her with guilt. I was the closest family member to her-I took responsibility for her care for years before her death. She used me, but I felt it was my christian duty to care for my parent. She was not around most of my childhood, I basically was raised by friends. So why, now that she has passed away do I feel or actually dont feel anything? I dont see any future --any goals or desires are basically non existent now. I dont see any thing to look forward to. I should be relieved that she is now at rest--I did everything that I could to make her happy or at least comfortable. What is wrong with me? I can sleep (or lay in bed) for days at a time if I dont have to go to work. Yes, I have dealt with depression most of my life, but this is different--I dont cry, I dont feel--I am basically numb. Is this grief? I used to think that there is always time to pursue your dreams-that its never too late--but now that is not true--sometime there is a point of no return--I think I am there.

  - Caryn

• December 17, 2011 8:52 a.m.

  I haven't dealt with the grief. Many things have happened in the last 3 years. The death of my mother in law, the attempted suicide of my dear daughter in law, a new marriage not going well, the addition of foster grandchilren in their teens from abuse, the moving of 2 of my grown children and 3/4 of my granchildren (we all lived very close to each other and saw each other frequently), the loss of jobs and supporting others, and now because I was sick one more time my employer decided enough was enough she terminated my employment of 12 years. I am 60 and an RN, you'd expect an RN to know these things of self-care but it was alot over these last 3 years and I just couldn't get free to find the peace and enjoyment from life i needed. All these life events are expected, others tried to help and warn me. I have been sick almost non-stop. And yes you could say it was the life changing event of losing my job that I have had time and the lessening of stress from my unit that I have given time to reflect. I appreciate all of the information on this site. I have been taking an antidepressant but it isn't enough. The saying "when invited show up & participate comes to mind. I know I need to participate in activities whether social or exercise. There I alot of things that I had meant to do, like my picture albums and scrapping. And of course I have 2 grown children and my grans to keep me engaged, which I will have to say my granchildren and children bring me the most joy. Tha

  - Vicki

• December 14, 2011 3:31 p.m.

  I lost my 22 yr old son Sean to addiction of his ADD prescription medicine Ritalin. He had been on Ritalin for 10 years without any problems. He was an A student on the Dean's list in college, but needed more to accomplish what he felt was important. He became addicted and had taken 32 of his 20 mg pills in one day. He had to drink large amounts of alcohol to lessen the painful crash of coming down from this stimulant/amphetamine. I counted his pills and realized he had a big problem. I took him to a local Psychiatrist. He realized he needed help and agreed to go to Memorial Herman PaRC. He seemed to be doing so well. He went through the 10 days of Detox, and 2 weeks of inpatient treatment on Wellbutrin, but Sean could not wake up at 7:00am and go to meetings and was kicked out for not accepting his addiction. Sean came home and went on a binge the next day getting 90 pills from any local doctor. He tried a halfway house, but died 3 days later in the back of his car. I don't think doctors care enough about this prescription drug addiction problem to make a mandatory nationwide database that would track these people who have become addicted to their prescription medicine and can get multiple prescriptions. The younger of my two sons was now gone, deceased as the medical examiner said. My wife found Griefshare and the group sharing their loss stories helped. We met every every Monday for 14 weeks cost was only $20. God bless the people who started this world wide program.

  - Phillip

• December 12, 2011 5:58 p.m.

  To @Gail, this was such a brave post you wrote. You were such a blessing to your mother when she needed you. Good for you for reaching out and getting help. I am sorry about your mother, this must have been so hard for you to 'lay it all out there', but it gives me thoughtful perspective, which I am thankful for. This post touched me because my own mother is 83 and far away. She and I are also close. It took courage for you to write this comment.

  - TMary

• December 9, 2011 10:16 p.m.

  I lost my 89 yr. old mother 2 yrs. ago. We were very close! I left my full time job of 6 yrs. to stay home and help her, since she was living alone, yet independently. However, she needed assistance to go to her medical appts. She had total hip repl. surgery a yr. earlier. She also had COPD and was in early stages of renal failure the yr. before she passed away. She made it very clear to our doctor and family that she would not consider Dialysis at her age. Well, after her death I felt so sad and alone, although I'm happily married with 2 grown sons. I thought this was part of the grieving process, and saw my doctor for Zoloft 50mg./B.I.D..However, after about 9 months, I still felt "weird" and knew I was not myself. My husband is a Dentist and I have some medical background and so I wrote bogus RX's for Vicodin (which had been prescribed by my orthopedic MD for back pain). Helping my mom in and out of the car, plus helping her to dress really did my back in! I'm 62. Needless to say, I was caught and am now on Probation for 2 yrs. and cannot drive yet. (Hope to get a "Hardship" license next week). I was so depressed and should have seen my doctor more often, but I passed it off as the grief process and thought the pills would help me to escape from my emotional pain. Boy, was I wrong. I am now in therapy and joined SMART RECOVERY. A self-help substance abuse group. I'm so much better now. We all greive in different ways. Get help people. Talk about your sa

  - Gail