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• February 19, 2013 9:32 p.m.

  Sigh - more positive thinking psychbabble. The example given, as pointed out in other comments, is flawed - the higher status captain et al had much better living conditions, even if they faced some of the same risks as their lowly crew. CONTEXT, people, context. And personal history. That's what determines how - or IF - someone can persevere in uncertain circumstances. A person can weather only so many storms - and there aren't always friends or support to hold you up. Often, when you're dealing with loss, grief, trauma, "friends" disappear. This has been my experience for decades, snd my ability to handle stress and loss has steadily eroded, although like other commenters, when I was younger and had more hope and options, I had considerable resilience. That rubber band snapped a long time ago. Compare POV of Martin Seligman (ugh) vs Barbara Held for professional insights, not just mine.

  - outlier

• October 26, 2012 5:43 p.m.

  If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. check out what you can do to avoid things so the problem doesn’t present in the future. this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

  - peterson

• September 23, 2012 8:11 p.m.

  Ruth in the comments has touched on a rather perceptive point, namely, that socio-economic status plays a major role in health, and particularly in stress levels. There is a fascinating study of British civil servants that bears out this conclusion (Search terms: Whitehall Study). On the other hand, there is something to be said for taking a somewhat stoic stance (Search term, e.g., Epictetus), and focusing on cultivating happiness and contentment regardless of external circumstance. Interestingly enough, the Roman philosopher Epictetus was himself of a lowly social caste, having been born a slave, and a handicapped one at that. Yet the emperor Marcus Aurelius came to admire and take instruction from the written teachings of Epictetus. Is there a relevant lesson here? Life is not fair or certain for anybody--that's just reality--as both Epictetus and Aurelius knew. But even if control is ultimately an illusion, it's a necessary one for humans to thrive. (Search terms: Langer Nursing Home Study). So it's worth taking control of the little things in terms of improving life and outlook. Epictetus did not wallow in his lowly station in life, but sought to teach others how to confront life with honesty and courage. While most of us can't fully embrace the stoic ideal or instanteously increase our socioeconomic status, we can learn skills to proactively cope with life's uncertainty by controlling the things we can (in a healthy way, of course). That involves a choice.

  - Alan

• September 23, 2012 3:39 p.m.

  I thought that the example used by you is not convincing at all. The captain and the officers were in a different social class, they probably were better paid and received more respect from others. They also had more freedom to make decisions at work as compared to the simple seamen, who probably felt that they were exploited.Please, do not underestimate the intelligence of your readers!

  - Ruth

• September 22, 2012 10:25 a.m.

  It's not the age or economic conditions; it's the attitude.

  - Roberta

• September 20, 2012 8:28 a.m.

  Feme, you are so right. When one is young and has a future, there is always hope that things will change, and improve someday. When we are older and lose our financial security, our health, our spouses, our friends, we don't have many options, if any, to pick up the pieces, and it can be a very lonely and terrifying time. In my youth I always loved the poems Desiderata and Serenity, but it is very difficult to put those ideas into practice, especially, when we are facing the reality of our death, that most of our time is now behind us. I have often heard the phrase "where there is life, there is hope" and on the surface I think, well, that is what they tell you when there is absolutely nothing positive to be said, however, I am slowly beginning to understand the truth in this statement. we can still see the beauty around us, if we live in the moment. When I find myself in a panic, it does help to open the window and listen to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, the rain on the roof, the birds singing (although even these things can be taken away from us as our senses begin to deteriorate)), but we need to focus on those things we can appreciate. We still need to connect with people, even if it is just a smile to a stranger. Perhaps we can touch their lives in a positive way, which means we are still contributing to this world. Life is unfair and cruel. If we choose to not let it destroy us, we can still feel true happiness and purpose.

  - Diane

• September 19, 2012 2:26 p.m.

  Feme,I get it and you are right.We acted responsibly and expected to have the dignity that goes along with that mind set. Losing that dignity robs us of our very soul.

  - Mary

• September 18, 2012 7:35 p.m.

  Try being old with many problems and then facing a very uncertain future because of the government. We can deal with our own problems but when our choice is taken away it's very difficult to cope. We think we have planned financially for our future but thanks to politics we no longer can certain of anything -- but death.

  - Ferne

• September 14, 2012 2:06 a.m.

  Thanks.. Above Article about Stress is Really useful..

  - George

• September 12, 2012 11:05 a.m.

  true

  - Callie