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    Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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  • Stress blog

  • Oct. 10, 2012

    The power of being there

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

7 comments posted

How can you help a fellow traveler who is suffering? Be there.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

I'm reminded of the old line, "80 percent of life is just showing up." To me, this means the power of being present and available.

You don't have to have all the answers or say something profound. Your physical presence has a healing dimension.

You magnify that power by being totally engaged with and attentive to your loved one or friend in need.

Reaching out to others has an additional benefit. When you reach out, you feel better. You become less self-absorbed and less focused on your own problems.

We need one another. It's not rocket science. Please weigh in.

Follow me on Twitter at @EdwardCreagan. Join the discussion at #Stress.

7 comments posted

blog index
  • January 27, 2013 6:30 p.m.

    The silence we give to others to just LISTEN, as most of us have repeated, our eyes wide open looking at their eyes with all attention on them wherever we are, they may feel their feelings are validated, and go directly forward automatically. They know best blessing them with only their decisions also gives us a chance to express faith in them. In the last few years, the ones who have expressed faith in me verbally, just a few words, made the difference in my feelings and behavior, and was successful with the outcome. Why is this not done more often today?

    - Kristina

  • October 17, 2012 2:38 p.m.

    Thanks for the subject ...all of us are expressing our gratitude for those who have been there for us and the giving of ourselves to be there for anyone who needs us if we know them personally or not. Just have to state that I am so blessed to be a patient at the Mayo Clinic and receive the personal, kind giving that everyone of the staff gives to me, the patient! Awesome, Surreal! After all these years, THE PATIENT COMES FIRST! I have full faith that in this era of health care unknowns, THE PATIENTS WILL REMAIN FIRST in the MAYO SYSTEM! Whatever goes on in the world, my VOTE will go for the Mayo System to be cared for, listened to, and treated. You have a special way of listening to us, everyone of you...we feel it!

    - Kristina

  • October 17, 2012 1:19 p.m.

    I have found this to be true in both needing someone and helping someone too! When helping, the less we say the better. Sometimes they need to get it all out for relief.

    - Mike

  • October 17, 2012 12:05 p.m.

    I recently went for a week to the southwest for some sun and ended up with allergies and laryngitis and cough the whole week. In spite of this, I had the best time ever. I was forced to be there without saying much. and learned more about my family and friends by attentively listening to them for a change.

    - carol

  • October 14, 2012 8:33 p.m.

    the best way I know how to help someone is to be their for them, listen and not to do so much talking. Show them that you care and you are really there for them.

    - Jazmin

  • October 13, 2012 7:48 p.m.

    I have found that in my relationship with someone who has broken trust with me that forgiveness is there, but trust is earned. I do not harbor ill will for this person, but trust is never given away, it is earned. The person who shot those sweet little girls back east, were they Quakers? or ? but the parents said they forgave the man. Yet, in that forgiveness would they put the gun back in the man's hand. no. Trust, where ever it is violated must be earned back. We are not to make of ourselves victims but proceed in our lives wisely. We, and only we can know when we feel safe in that relationship again.

    - Jeannie

  • October 11, 2012 12:39 p.m.

    I always have to remind myself that I don't have to solve other people's problems to be there for them and be emotionally supportive.

    - Alma

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