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    Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

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  • Pregnancy and you blog

  • Dec. 18, 2012

    Baby showers: Can you have too many?

    By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

4 comments posted

I think that baby showers are one of the best inventions ever. Okay, the microwave is pretty impressive, too. I just love the thought of a party celebrating you and your baby.  Not to mention the gifts you'll be showered with.

A celebration of the coming baby is a modern evolution of ancient rituals held to mark the birth of a new member of the community. In earlier eras, these ritual celebrations were held after the baby was born. I've noticed more women having post-delivery showers today, too, especially if the sex of the baby is a mystery.

First-time moms are the usual recipients of a baby shower. I've also been hearing about parties called sprinkles for women who already have children. Why should the first-timers get all the fun?

Of course, the gifts from a baby shower — or sprinkle — help ease the financial burden of having a baby. Babies need plenty of gear, and that gear can be expensive!

Still, I think there's a deeper meaning in baby showers. Giving gifts is a way to help the soon-to-be mom transition into parenthood. Baby showers also provide a time to share collective knowledge and wisdom on pregnancy, childbirth and babies. Just don't believe everything you hear!

I do wonder, though, if you can have too many baby showers. What's your take?

4 comments posted

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  • May 25, 2013 9:30 a.m.

    I am British and feel that baby showers are far more appropriate after a baby is born. Not all babies are delivered safely or without problems. I find the whole idea of having a party 'to score' presents somewhat distasteful and the Americanization with too much hoopla is not necessarily to be encouraged. True babies are expensive but is a baby shower going to really make any significant impact to the financial responsibility of a child for many years? Baby showers after a baby is born and asking friends to donate to March of Dimes or like organization or to get together with $10 limit each if they want to bring a gift is perhaps more thoughtful by the new mother and may be really appreciated by girl friends who are tired of always being asked but do not have children. Maybe you mothers who want the fancy baby showers should get together and throw a thank you party for the no kid aunties. I have children in case you are wondering.

    - Margaret

  • March 1, 2013 5:34 p.m.

    I'd like to point out that baby showers/blessings/etc. are great -- if that is what you want. Personally, I'm getting pretty tired of people trying to forcibly throw me showers or celebrations. It just isn't my thing. So my two cents is ask the parents-to-be what they want and don't make assumptions.

    - Leah

  • December 27, 2012 3:16 p.m.

    I think it's wonderful to celebrate life's meaningful milestones, including the birth of a first/subsequent child, with a gathering/party/blessing. I think, however, that gifts shouldn't be expected after the first child...and it should be overtly stated as such. So many life celebrations have been made commercial and material. I find the idea of registries for second/later children - and for marriages of anyone over the age of 30, for that matter - a bit gauche. Not to mention the latest fad - 'push' presents for women giving birth.

    - Carrie

  • December 19, 2012 12:35 p.m.

    Many women in my community mark and celebrate their transitions into motherhood with a blessing way rather than, or in addition to, a baby shower. Blessing ways focus on nurturing moms-to-be emotionally and spiritually. Baby showers are generally baby and gift focused, while blessing ways are all about supporting and celebrate moms. I am a birth doula, and have often seen the immediate and long term benefits of blessing ways for my clients -- moms need down to earth communities of women with whom they can share their fears and joys, and from whom they can seek help on occasion. I love blessing ways!

    - Megan

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