- With Mayo Clinic certified nurse-midwife
Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
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Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
Mary Murry is a certified nurse-midwife in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
Murry, a Cincinnati native, has been a nurse-midwife practitioner for more than 20 years and is an instructor at the College of Medicine, Mayo Clinic. She was a contributing reviewer and writer of the "Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy" book.
Her research interests include adult female survivors of sexual abuse, women's perception of pain in labor, and obesity in pregnancy.
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Pregnancy and you blog
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Feb. 12, 2013
Dad-to-be? Take center stage!
By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.
I was talking to my husband about my blog. He wanted to know if I'd ever written anything for expectant fathers — and I had to admit that I hadn't written much. It got me thinking about how little support there is for a dad-to-be.
Moms are given center stage in the drama of pregnancy and birth. Dads are co-stars and sometimes even bit players.
Still, sometimes a dad-to-be needs to be given center stage. A dad is becoming a parent, too, and men don't have nearly the amount of support and education that women do.
A dad-to-be might worry about not getting enough time with the baby or with mom, or about being pushed aside by the women in his life. He might be concerned about what kind of father he'll be, especially if he doesn't have a strong role model.
If you're a dad-to-be, look for mentors — men who've had babies, who know what it's like, who can help you through it.
If you're concerned about a dad-to-be, recognize his support and contributions. Show your appreciation for his efforts. Ask about his hopes, fears and concerns for the birth and all that comes after.
Dads, please share some helpful hints with us all.
4 comments posted
April 19, 2013 2:26 p.m.
Great article. The trials and tribulations that a dad-to-be goes through during pregnancy of his partner are often ignored. To be honest it is the moms-to-be time to shine and she does deserve the accolades she receives. No, I am not being forced to write this (although I do have 2 children)
- Steve
March 4, 2013 9:48 a.m.
ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN SAYS GOD
- Jen
February 18, 2013 10:06 a.m.
Well said, Misty!
- Claire
February 15, 2013 4:46 p.m.
In addition to awareness of dads-to-be, it would be nice to see some mention & acknowledgment of lesbian mothers to be. My partner & I are expecting our first child, and there really is a dearth of information or even recognition for lesbian mothers. I am having to read advice for fathers-to-be, which sometimes is appropriate, and sometimes is completely inappropriate. (My phone app advises me not to worry that my penis will poke the baby in the eye--I'm a woman!). My most helpful suggestion is to recognize all parents-to-be, and indeed all members of the family of the soon-to-be-born child. After all, it is very important that everyone be included and on board when it comes to caring for the new family addition. Thanks.
- Misty
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