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  • With Mayo Clinic certified nurse-midwife

    Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

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  • Pregnancy and you blog

  • March 12, 2013

    Prenatal visits: Do you bring support?

    By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

2 comments posted

A couple came to see me last week for a prenatal visit. They were so happy. They'd been to every prenatal appointment and ultrasound together. They both asked questions and we had a good talk about dads. Afterward, I thought about my own prenatal care nearly 30 years ago.

My husband didn't attend any prenatal visits or ultrasounds. To be fair, my midwife was my best friend and colleague. We tended to snatch time in the clinic whenever we could, rather than schedule formal appointments. Still, I wondered if missing those visits had bothered my husband.

When I asked him about it, he looked surprised — and slightly suspicious. Was this a trick question? At the time, employers weren't likely to give dads time off to attend prenatal visits. Sharing the experience certainly wasn't universal, and he said he didn't think he'd missed much. After all, he was there for the labors and births.

How the world does change!

Today, a support person is often an integral part of the prenatal experience. It's almost expected that partners or other friends and family will come to at least the milestone appointments — the first visit, the first time you hear the baby's heartbeat, the first ultrasound.

Do you usually go to prenatal visits by yourself or does someone accompany you? If you've had more than one pregnancy, did you take a different approach with the first pregnancy compared to subsequent pregnancies? Please share your stories.

2 comments posted

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  • April 28, 2013 6:16 a.m.

    My husband came with me to my very first prenatal visit at 4 weeks. Unfortunately, I lost that pregnancy soon after. I went on to lose 4 more pregnancies before finally being pregnant for the 6th time now and everything going well so far. (Through tests I found out I have MTHFR and am taking the appropriate vitamins to treat it.)I am currently 26 weeks, expecting a little baby boy in August. I have never gone to a doctor's visit by myself. My husband has been with me at all visits, except the past two, at 22 weeks and 25 weeks. My mom came with me during those short routine visits. My husband will be with me again during the next appointment. He even came and sat with me for the one hour glucose test at 24 weeks. As my appointments will soon be every two weeks, most likely either my husband will accompany me or my mom will come with me :)

    - Ann

  • March 19, 2013 2:34 p.m.

    Hello, This will be our 4th child & yes milestone appointments will be seen with the kids & my husband. This will be a wonderful experience for our children as they are now ages 6, 8 & 9. My husband & I also feel differently about this pregnancy. We are at a secure time in our lives & jobs. I 36, my husband 44. Older, more mature & a seasoned marriage make for a calm stage in our life actually. We cherish these times with the kids so much more than we used to in our early parenting days. A lovely feeling to still be able to have such a blessing to look forward to before the holidays. Be well, Rose from WI

    - Rose from WI

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