Alzheimer's disease

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• March 28, 2013 6:47 p.m.

  to Phil and Linda, yes it is right to break the loop. You can break the loop, when you find something with your mother she likes. It has to be from her life, which she says with her own words, it is good for her. So she pays attention,has concentration.This is the key for her brain, brain cells. When she does anything, it is her way. Not your way. Because in her brain are other things from her life. She takes time and do anything slower as we. When she finds nothing, please go with her on the window from the room and look outside and speak all time, all what you see. Please do not ask her, what this or this is. In her brain there are other thoughts, and she must have time to see the real world. I am for a long time a caregiver and a therapist. I wrote a book Rediscover Recovery

  - Susanngab

• January 26, 2013 1:44 p.m.

  Phil, you might try breaking the loop by redirecting her attention. This works with my mother sometimes...(very excited tone of voice) "Oh look there's a red tailed hawk! Do you remember how Dad always counted hawks along the road...let's count them now..." It takes effort to keep talking but it is worth it to me to break her endless loop of repetitive comments!!

  - Linda

• January 6, 2013 8:49 a.m.

  Phil, I also can only travel 5-6 hours a day with my wife because otherwise the repetitive questioning, listening to the same CDs over and over, etc. I bring a dozen CDs, but half the time we just listen to the same 2 or 3 over and over because she forgets what we listened to! My only advice is to do all you can to avoid arguments; not easy, I know, but anything that will cause confrontation is the worng response. So try to be patient, change topics when you can, and accept the fact that even though only on the road i=for 5-6 hours, each day of travel will be a long one. We no longer drive to our son and family who live 775 miles away. We now meet in a hotel 500 miles away because I cannot take more than 2 days of 24/7 complete togetherness without a break. So, too, you may find that a long trip is no longer in the cards for you. Two days in the car, plus 2 afternoons/evenings in a hotel room ... that's my limit nowadays. Good luck on your trip, Phil. I couldn;'t do that long a trip anymore with my wife. Be patient, and don't do anything to make your wife angry or upset because it will only make things worse!!

  - Allan

• January 3, 2013 5:32 p.m.

  For anyone our there who has had to place your loved ones in a Alzheimer's facility, it is extremely difficult but if you have a loved one who walks, look into Arden Courts - he/she can walk in or outdoors any time of year and there to walk all year round.

  - Dee

• January 3, 2013 1:08 p.m.

  Lord, in your mercy hear nad answer us. Bless all patients and caregivers. Happy 2013

  - Joe

• January 2, 2013 1:16 p.m.

  Thank you everyone. My husband was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago with dementia but I knew 5 years ago there was a problem. I too have felt various emotions along the way but have found two things that help me. I keep a journal and spill out my thoughts and often many tears as I write---that's a good release of pent-up frustration. I "talk" with friends a great deal. I took a course at a local hospital called ZEN for high blood pressure---a combination of yoga, tai chi, a bit of qigong plus meditation rolled into one. I do my ZEN while my husband takes his daily hour nap and find the last 15 minutes of quiet meditation extremely helpful. Blessings on everyone as we continue down the road of the "long farewell."

  - Alice

• January 2, 2013 11:50 a.m.

  Hi Phil, I would suggest for you to take a "Care Bag" for your wife on your trip. Pack a few of her favorite candies, or fruit. I would suggest some pamphlets or books of the place or places you are going, so she can look at them, it may help to keep reminding her she is on a trip with you. Also you may want to trace a map (atlas or something) your route in yellow you are taking, to also remind her of the traveling you are doing. A calender for the month and mark everyday your "itinerary" for her, so she can see it visually, it may help remind her. If I were her, I would also like some Faorite pictures of you & her to look at, it may sooth her, even your wedding picture. There is no sure way to know if these will help, but all you can do is try. I will share with you, I have had Mild Cognitive Impairment for two years, I am better for now,(God has allowed me, I believe some time") and the one thing that was hard for me to bear was my husband always reminding me he told me something,it didn't mean anything to me, because I did not think or recalled I had a problem, it's like having amnesia almost with No one to blame, not the spouse or Care Partner.Give yourself some peace in speaking to her only within a few miles of where you are,not where you are ultimately planning on ending up, (that is too far in the future for her to comprehend,or concieve, then she could refer to her map, or the pictures,try to bring up happy times you have had. Have a safe

  - Catherine

• January 1, 2013 10:21 a.m.

  I am caregiver to my wife who is in the early stages of Alzheimers We are planning a trip 21 hour drive to Florida My intent is to drive no more than 5/6 hours per day with lots of breaks . We are in no hurry My challenge is dealing with short term memory My wife will ask the same questionover and over again all in the space of minutes.. Normal I just give the same answer each time she ask.. Lately I find I have a need to tell her I have just answered that question Remember we agreed to do etc etc However of late I am finding that my wife is taking offence with me and getting upset for reminding her of the fact we just answered that question ANY SUGGESTIONS to help deal with this changing situation Thanks

  - phil

• December 31, 2012 10:46 a.m.

  For Mary, You are not alone with the feelings you have, and do not feel guilty about it. You Love your Mom and it is hard to tolerate everyday trying to figure out "why" we have to sit by and feel so hopeless. If you are (or even if not) ask God everyday when you get up (put a note by your bed even to remind you.) Just spend one minute and "ask God to help you through the Day, no matter what comes,that he may give you strength". You could start keeping a journal for you & your family, think of all the happy things in her life, share them with her if she has a good day. I myself wrote a poem, it makes you feel better to put things on paper....including the anger you have, and the sadness. This is no ones fault....it just is.I was so angry 40 years ago when my father was diagnosed, we were confused, and sad.It is a most emotional illness, so much more than any other, we have a right to be angry & sad, we just need to learn how to handle it all, a very difficult thing to do. I will pray for you & your family Mary, you have touched my heart.I am involved in a new future help care partners & persons with Dementia,it is called a Memory Cafe,open Only to persons with Dementia & their care partners. We have 2 in my city now,where people with Dementia can go with their Care Partners, and share with other people in the same situation. Exchanging thoughts and ideas. There is coffee,snack and or a craft or a short program, is a true Blessing for

  - Catherine

• December 30, 2012 1:03 p.m.

  Maybe it's the "holiday blues," but I am so sad right now. There's been a marked decline in my mom's health (related to the Azheimer's) and I am frustrated because I can't seem to get anything right. It's so difficult to see her slowly fade. I hope that I am not just feeling sorry for myself. I am so angry for what is happening to her. I can't seem to reconcile that right now. She was diagnosed two years ago but I am hitting a level of frustration now that I hadn't experienced before. I need to know if others experienced this, as well. I don't know what to do.

  - Mary

• December 28, 2012 9:54 p.m.

  Thank You so much Angela for all the beautiful words, the encouragement and caring. Thanking everyone for such good advice and understanding. May the Lord above be our guide for a Blessed and Graceful Year.

  - Mary

• December 28, 2012 9:46 p.m.

  This Past year , I have Learned to be at Peace and Appreciate the Beauty and Love surrounded by My Loved one. "God Bless and Thanks to the Lord above for Keeping My Loved one Stable. Wishing each one of these Readers a Brighter, Peaceful and Hopeful New Year.

  - "Mary'

• December 28, 2012 10:50 a.m.

  Here's the latest entry as a caregiver, in my poetry book: Brain "derailment" It will worsen. Blame the ailment, not the person.

  - chuck

• December 27, 2012 10:17 p.m.

  I really look forward to reading Angela's blog. I always find helpful, interesting comments that help me on my caregiver path. Somehow it just really helps to read comments from others dealing with the day to day experiences with Alzheimer's . I am really glad I found you!

  - Elizabeth

• December 27, 2012 9:41 p.m.

  I love to read everyone's post after going over Angela's words of wisdom....and have learned so much from all of you. I felt very sad at Christmas while singing carols in church, not knowing if my husband would be beside me next Christmas. He has a great voice and can sing the melodies of familiar songs. I realize that he is losing more and more of his short term memories and abilities to do everyday tasks. One thing that has helped me is meditation - clearing the mind and chasing out all the thoughts that crowd in during moments of solitude. Not very easy, but so beneficial, when day to day caregiving gets tough. It has stopped me from blaming myself - as God is always there in quiet moments, as well as moments of upheaval. The more I meditate, the more I'm able to calm myself instead of taking the blame for things going awry. l wish for health and strength in the new year for caregivers....may all who are reading this somehow find strength to carry on - what a gift we are giving! and we may be the only ones who consider our caregiving a gift - and it truly is! dawn

  - dawn

• December 27, 2012 4:42 p.m.

  Thank you for every word. It was hard to learn from anybody else. Marry Christmas to you of all and Happy New Year.

  - Vlad

• December 27, 2012 3:11 p.m.

  I have been reading these post and now I'm living them. My soul mate for over 50 years had to be admitted to a Dementia Unit and it is a very hard road to travel. I have learned a lot and most important to get what I can out of each day as we can't get back yesterday and aren't promised tomorrow. Pick your battles and be sure you can help fix the ones you pick, otherwise let them go. Thank you all so much for your comments.

  - Jean December 27, 2012

• December 27, 2012 12:19 p.m.

  dear Angela...a few years ago i didn't know how to spell 'alzheimer' but over the last few years it is appearent that my wife, DiAnne, has what i and/or Doctors think is early-on-set alz. or some form of dementia.She is just 65 ,a PhD in Speech Pathology, mother of two grown children,and over 35 years working with pre-school children as well as in research hospitals with brain injury patients,etc. I'am an engineer/scientist but can't find a solution to or how to solve the problem. very frustrating!...trying to be a good care-giver-very, very hard..still working but may have to stop?....but have enjoyed reading your 'letter' and just THANK YOU Angela and Mayo for making available......have a great New Year....gary of Denver

  - gary

• December 26, 2012 9:05 a.m.

  I want to take this day after Christmas to Thank Angela. For All her Blogs, and for all her support and Kindness. To Thank you Angela, for your ability to connect everyone you meet, in a helpful way. You have saved many people from "falling off that cliff", you help everyone to Hang on, because you teach us to Hold Hands in this devastating illness.....named Dementia. May God Bless you,and your family, and may He allow you the passion, and spirit, and the knowledge for you to continue what you do,the very inspiring person you are. God Bless you! I had lost some "wind in my sails" but I think it's back".

  - Catherine

• December 22, 2012 11:30 a.m.

  Thank you very much for the information.I hope that this will cure the illness. old school new body

  - the new body