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    Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

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  • Stress blog

  • Jan. 10, 2013

    Adversity offers opportunity for personal growth

    By Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

6 comments posted

Recent reader comments tell of challenging and sometimes painful experiences — stories of loss, betrayal and fractured relationships. We don't "get over" this stuff.

Need more help?

If the stress in your life is more than you can cope with, get help right away.

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • Go to the nearest hospital or emergency room
  • Call your physician, health provider or clergy
  • National Alliance on Mental Illness
    www.nami.org
    1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

We have to deal with it. We have to go "through it" and, if we're lucky, we arrive on the other side as more empowered and insightful people. Life never quite gets back to normal. There's a time of recalibration and eventually something like a new normal emerges.

If we stay the course with the help of people we can count on, we develop a heightened sensitivity and empathy for others going through adversity.

Yes, time does help, but it isn't always enough. Having someone who can relate to your loss, whether it's a professional counselor, friend or family member, can be lifesaving.

Follow me on Twitter at @EdwardCreagan. Join the discussion at #Stress.

6 comments posted

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  • February 28, 2013 9:57 a.m.

    There is a saying "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger." It is such a harsh distillation. Still, I like it because it reminds me to not spend too much time and energy lamenting my lot. I am not owed predictability, stabiliity, security. I recognize the loss, I feel it (horrible phase), I look for options, I decide on the one I want to try first, and deep learning begins. In my experience, there is one extra step that is necessary to really mend. I must tell my story to someone else and have them understand what I went through. Only then does the loss transform me for the better, and then it is my turn to witness and understand others' transformations. Repeat as necessary. It can sometimes take everything you've got.

    - Christine

  • February 13, 2013 3:47 p.m.

    It is so good to read your advice and to hear others who are going through a loss. Everyone will face this in their lifetime. We have to pick up the pieces and go on with life, and without guilt. It is important to have people, and even pets, to help us get through a trauma such as this. Also need to take care of our health.

    - Anne

  • January 17, 2013 8:51 a.m.

    Thank you, Dr. Creagan, for these encouraging words. It helps a great deal to know that someone understands we don't "just get over it."

    - Mary

  • January 17, 2013 5:34 a.m.

    Support is great . Not everyone recover from stress the same way and many do not recover at all. There is no universal panacea in this field .

    - Laurentiu

  • January 16, 2013 12:02 p.m.

    Excellent summary of the effects of loss and betrayal and the positive outcome that can ensue. Thank you.

    - Monique

  • January 12, 2013 9:16 p.m.

    You have acknowledged and validated the many painful experiences many of us are being confronted with all in the same time frame. As overwhelming as these periods may be to me, and with today's research showing a person only may have 2 confidants long term in their life, I am so grateful for your support. Dr. Creagan, you and your team, for me are an important support for my personal growth and resiliency. Your comments apply to so many situations people are faced with today. And, even though I only see your photo, I can feel your caring and know I need to learn from whatever challenge, and look to the blue skies ahead and full moons! P.S. You just be the wisest of all my circle ...and giving unconditionally.

    - Kristina

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