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  • With Mayo Clinic health education outreach coordinator

    Angela Lunde

    read biography
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  • Alzheimer's blog

  • Jan. 22, 2013

    Dear Abby's connection to Mayo Clinic continues

    By Angela Lunde

15 comments posted

Alzheimer's Caregiving

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You may have heard that Pauline Friedman Phillips, or Dear Abby as she was known to many, died last week at the age of 94. She had been living with, and challenged by, Alzheimer's for more than a decade.

She wrote under the byline of Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) beginning in the mid 1950's. Her column was read daily by millions of people who sought her no-nonsense perspective, advice and wisdom.

Adoring fans followed her throughout her entire run as Dear Abby. In 2002, when her family revealed publicly that she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, her daughter, Jeanne, officially took over the column.

Pauline Phillips has a special connection to Mayo Clinic. Ten years ago, the Alzheimer's research facility where I work in Rochester, Minn., was named "Mayo Clinic Abigail Van Buren Alzheimer's Disease Research Clinic" in honor of a gracious gift from the family of Pauline Phillips. At that time, Edward Phillips, Pauline's son, made the following statement:

"My mother made a profound difference in the lives of generations of American families; in fact people throughout the world.  She suffers from Alzheimer's disease that has gradually stolen this precious resource from us ... It is our hope that this massive research undertaking by Mayo Clinic will make a major difference to those suffering from Alzheimer's and their families. We are proud to share a common vision with Mayo Clinic — to one day find ways to treat, cure and prevent this disease."

For me, Dear Abby validates a basic need we each have to reach out and feel connected to one another, hence, some asked her advice and millions read her responses.

We all need an affiliation and a sense that we aren't alone on this journey and that others share our vulnerabilities, struggles and doubts.

Dear Abby offered a window into the day-to-day lives of real people. Her combination of wit, humor and empathy, with an ample dose of candor connected a community of readers for over half a century.

In just a couple of months, another affirmation that you aren't alone on this journey will take place — and you're invited. The event is called Meeting of the Minds.

This is the Mayo Clinic and Minnesota-North Dakota Alzheimer's Association's annual conference for persons living with early stage dementia, families, caregivers, researchers, therapists and other caring professionals.

Themes for the conference center on well-being and caring, along with meaningful engagement, integrative therapies, spirituality, communication and research.

One special guest will be Pat Summitt. She's the winningest college basketball coach of all time. In August 2011, Summitt bravely shared her diagnosis of younger onset dementia, Alzheimer's type. Later that year, she started The Pat Summitt Foundation, a non-profit committed to Alzheimer's awareness, support and research at the local and national level.

For me, Meeting of the Minds is celebratory, a gathering of like-minded seekers of guidance, understanding and most importantly, connectedness. Together we gather to affirm our passion to the cause, extend compassion to one another and soak in the healing energy that I promise will be felt.

Please consider joining me at the St. Paul, Minn., River Center on Saturday, March 1. For details and to register, go to the Minnesota-North Dakota Chapter page of the Alzheimer's Association website.

Be forever in peace Pauline Esther Phillips, our Dear Abby.

I leave you with an excerpt for one of her columns:

"JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself."

— Abigail Van Buren

15 comments posted

blog index
  • March 5, 2013 1:17 a.m.

    Inspiring story

    - Olga

  • February 6, 2013 5:31 a.m.

    I know Abby was a practical woman who could condense her thoughts into meaningful answers to address the essence of a question. I wonder how she would handle all the different words we use when discussing dementia? I am troubled that we are not all talking the same language. I find the words mental illness, mental health, emotionally disturbed, illness, old age, as distracting, misleading, and minimalizing. Dementia is a brain disease. Just like coronary artery disease (CAD) is a heart disease, and Crohns is a bowel disease.

    - MarieB

  • February 5, 2013 8:12 p.m.

    The Meeting of the Minds is valuable for people who live near Rochester, Minn. Here in Oregon we have the McGinty Conference, a meeting sponsored by the Alzhemier's Association, and available to anyone affected by or assisting with Alzheimer's care. It is an important resource for us here.

    - Margaret

  • February 3, 2013 6:28 p.m.

    If only everyone could live only for today like that. If only I could start with myself.

    - Sue

  • January 29, 2013 11:06 p.m.

    Alzheimer is such an awful disease. It affects the whole family. The person who cares for the patient, resents those who fail to help. Those who do not help feel guilt that they turn to anger at the caregiver. My mother passed in August. I struggle still. I miss her and Dad. I no longer have a sister that will speak to me. I have to restart my life. I am alone. I have cared for others for so long I don't know how to live autonomously. I didn't expect this. The house is so quiet. I am so alone.

    - Bonnie

  • January 26, 2013 7:08 a.m.

    My husband was diagnosed with alzheimers five years ago and we have been aable to live in our paid for home tking care of each other for the past five years. Recently, he had pneumonia which accelerated the alzheimers so that I came face to face with the severe form of the disease. I took him to a rehab facility and when he was clear of he pneumonia, he stayed in the alzheimer unit where professional caregivers care for him. He has therapy every weekday morning and I go visit withhim every afternoon. He doesn't know where he is or why. He asks me every day if i have come to take him home.The doctor has told me that he is in the severe stage and won't go back to where he was before having pneumonia.

    - Betty

  • January 24, 2013 6:14 p.m.

    We've been blessed with very special people who touch our lives, my step father was one of those dear Alzheimers patient we watched as he left us. A very painful experience for us. Thank you for the wonderful gift of research the family left in memory of their very special mom to continue helping the world as she did in living. God bless

    - Cleo

  • January 24, 2013 3:55 p.m.

    It is very uplifting to read about "Dear Abby". Thank you. "Just for Today" is a succinct reminder of living and valuing the present, as yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not yet here.

    - Paola

  • January 24, 2013 1:55 p.m.

    Quite a tribute to a lovely lady.

    - Jack

  • January 24, 2013 11:47 a.m.

    What a wonderful tribute to Dear Abby and the article was well done

    - Mary

  • January 24, 2013 11:29 a.m.

    Great information Angela!

    - No name given

  • January 24, 2013 11:16 a.m.

    Thanks for the wonderful article on Alzheimer's disease and tribute to Dear Abby...and her Just For Today.

    - No name given

  • January 23, 2013 10:22 p.m.

    Those 'Just for Today' comments are words to live by for all of us!

    - Allan

  • January 23, 2013 9:28 a.m.

    Thank you so much for acknowledging the goodness of "Dear Abby" during her life time on earth and how much she taught us in her daily columns. She gets an A+++++ on life on earth from me. Also, her adult children during their own personal grief, gave her the best care and treatment for her to thrive during the illness as well as gave to us awareness of the painful progress, direction, and added so much by giving to all the world via The Mayo Clinic. May we all follow their lead in our own creative ways of turning grief to good for the world. With honor and respect to Pauline Phillips and her Family plus her team of The Mayo Clinic for all of your good works that will follow forever! God Blesses each and everyone of you.

    - KRISTINA

  • January 23, 2013 9:26 a.m.

    Beautifully written Ange!! Thank you for sharing this story.

    - Lindsay

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