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• November 14, 2009 7:21 p.m.

  I found out I was pregnant and at first I didn't want it. Then the idea grew on me and I started planning, my boyfriend was moving from another city to support me. I started to bleed at 8 weeks, then the cramping started. I knew it was over when I was in the hospital bathroom passing clots and having sharp pains. It felt so unceremonious to flush my baby down the toilet. After tests and ultrasounds it was confirmed that it was all over and I bled for 2 weeks. My baby was gone. What I thought I didn't want had turned into hopes, dreams and happiness and that was now gone too. It will be my baby's due date in a few days and I find myself overcome with grief. I cry at the drop of a hat, finding no more joy in life. It seems that everyone around me is pregnant, from co workers to best friends to family members and I don't want to have anything to do with it. I am jealous of all their happiness. I feel so empty and alone and I miss my baby so. My husband and I are going to buy some baby things, put them in a box, name our lost baby and bury it in a special place to let go. Thank you to everyone who wrote here, it has helped me immensely and helped me feel like I was not so alone.

  - Tia

• November 14, 2009 12:43 a.m.

  Hi, I found out yesterday that my 8 week year old "baby" has only grown to 6 weeks and 1 day. There were no signs of any development - no heartbeat. My gynae has given me a week to see if anything will happen between now and then. I am so sad and feel empty. I am hopeful that things might turn around, but at the same time trying to manage my expectation. REading all your stories has helped to understand that this is a common occurance. Does anyone know what the cause of this is, that the baby would just stop growing? I have an extremely supportive husband, which must say is making a huge difference.

  - Li

• October 16, 2009 7:00 p.m.

  Hello, I have been having a natural miscarriage for five months now. In hopes of finding someone who's had a similar experience I am posting here...My doctor believes, due to the rate at which my HCG levels are decreasing, that it should end in another 2.5 months. If this is correct, the total length of my miscarriage will be 7.5 months! The majority of the uterine contents passed all at once at 2.5 months into the pregnancy. However at this time there is still an extremely small (like a few drops) of fluid leaking into a mini-pad every day. The uterine wall is still thickened as shown in an ultrasound. I am in good health, good iron levels, no cramping, fever, no infection, and my doctor is not insisting I have surgery. However, emotionally, I am very frustrated and I feel like a "freak." After extensive time searching the internet I have found no one with an experience like mine. To compound matters, I just turned 40 and am a Clomid patient so time is of the essence for attempting my next pregnancy. In keeping with a natural miscarriage I hoped to avoid the risks associated with surgery/drugs, so I hope to have it all resolve naturally. Does anyone have any knowledge of anyone else with a similar experience? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

  - Erika

• September 17, 2009 12:40 a.m.

  I sit here in tears reading all of your experiences & feeling your pain & sorrow, as I too, have recently experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I have experienced the worst nightmare of my life over the past 10 wks. At my 9 wk OB visit & US, we discovered the baby had stopped developing and there was no heartbeat. After waiting 2 wks to miscarry naturally, it never happened so I had a D&C. For 4 wks I continued to have cramping, bleeding & clotting but my Dr. made me feel that it was "my" fault for not taking it easy, although that was not the case. For anyone out there who might be experiencing these symptoms 2 or more wks after a miscarriage, please know that it is NOT normal and seek medical attention! At 4 wks post-op I had hcg level drawn that was too high & US that showed something was still in the uterus. Dr. said to have hcg drawn in 1 week. But a few days later I began to hemorrhage at home, alone with my 21 mth old son. It was a very scary experience & within 2 hrs I had lost a significant amt of blood & had an emergency D&C for retained products of conception. Then I suffered the affects of anemia for several weeks. As if the emotional & physical pain of losing my baby wasn't bad enough, I had to have 2 surgeries, hemorrhaged and nearly lost my life. No one should have to go through this! God willing, we'll try again in a few mths. I am blessed to have a supportive husband & little boy who brings me so

  - Denise

• August 22, 2009 3:45 a.m.

  I had a misscariage at 9 weeks this last spring. The health care provider that I had only saw me once and that was to give me pills to insert so I would pass the baby because I was like you Pammie I could not have my baby cut out of me. I bleed for 12 weeks on and off after that. All my provider wanted me to do was to come in to to the lab every week for an HCG to see what my level was. After 13 weeks my level still had not come down to normal, they did another ultrasound, and they said everything was out but yet I was still passing large clots the size of quarters. After that 13th week they wanted me to go see a specialist they made the appointment for 3 days before my wedding. I never went to the apt, and I never went back for another lab. I have had one normal cycle since. My health care provider still has not wanted to see me. I feel thrown to the wolves that she wouldn't even want to see how I was doing emotional because th only thing that kept me getting out of bed each dad was my husband.

  - Jessica

• June 30, 2009 7:01 p.m.

  I recently had a silent miscarriage. Don't know when as there were no symptoms. We only found out last Monday at our first visit to the Obstetrician and his "routine" scan showed a smaller than expected embryo and no heartbeat. I was to have been 10 weeks and it was our first baby. I had to have a battery of tests and scans done but it was confirmed. It's a very surreal experience. My husband and I have both had moments of high emotion, but mostly we're managing OK. On some level, I think I'm a bit more resolute about it than he is, but I expect this will change. See, I'm still carrying the embryo and hopefully it will pass from me in the next few weeks. Otherwise, I will have to go and have a D&C and I find the idea of a "scrape and suck" of MY BABY unacceptable. To "anon", my deepest empathy to you. It sounds like you weren't very well looked after by your health care providers at all. I hope you make a full recovery soon and that your next is a success. To all the other women who've had one or more miscarriages - my condolences. It's great that there's a forum like this where people can share their loss, though I encourage people to talk about it. It's not shameful and we're not to blame and there's a lot more women out there with a similar story than we realise. Best wishes to all who are trying....

  - Pammie

• June 30, 2009 10:03 a.m.

  i experienced my 2nd miscarriage on friday (26th june 09). I was almost 12 weeks. They didn't tell me why it happened just gave a d and c. I am still bleeding and have a tender stomach and taking pain killers. I just feel like such a failure.I'm only 25 why is this happening. My first one was 2 years ago and i was so heartbroken. Now i am trying to be strong and support my boyfriend who seems to be taking it much harder than last time, i hate to see him like this. What next steps should i take? We both want to try as soon as i heal and after 1 cycle. We can't afford tests so will both take vitamins and i heard baby aspirin might help. Thanks for reading. I will check back in case anyone has replied. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES LADIES XX

  - anon

• May 13, 2009 9:53 a.m.

  On April 2nd I learned I was expecting but sadly lost my angel on April 20th. I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter and thank God for her everyday, even more now. But I will always miss and love my little angel and am devasted inside. My heart goes out to all of you who have endured a loss.

  - Crystal

• April 25, 2009 7:28 p.m.

  Since my recent miscarriage I've been searching for answers. I want to know as much as possible about my body before trying again. For anyone trying to conceive I would recommend this book: Dr. Robert Greene's Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility: The Ultimate Guide to Getting Pregnant While a lot of the book deals with infertility issues for women who can't get pregnant, there is a lot of information about your body and what is required to conceive a healthy baby. I learned a lot about reducing your exposure to environmental toxins (even found in deodorant, hairspray, nail polish, and unsafe water bottles). I'm doing everything I can to have zero risk factors the next time we try. Good luck and happy reading!

  - No name given

• April 15, 2009 7:39 p.m.

  It is hard to read all of these stories with so much pain and aching for our lost babies. I am 34 years old and have had three miscarriages at 3, 9, and 18 weeks. Like most of you, the tests all came back normal and I'm told there is nothing that can be done. I get frustrated by the lack of interest the doctors show for women with recurrent miscarriages. It seems that if you can't get pregnant they have all sorts of options but for those who miscarry they just shrug their shoulders. I empathize with all of you out there who have had to go through this terrible ordeal. I will continue to try to have that beautiful baby I have always dreamed of and I wish all of you the best of luck in your next pregnancy!

  - Rachel

• April 9, 2009 3:57 p.m.

  Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories. Even though I have just recovered from my third MC (three strikes, no runs), I still feel very alone. I had no idea that so many women have had this same sorrow. With my last MC, I searched the bookstore for something to read on the subject. I wanted answers and comfort. I wanted to know how other women felt about this loss, but I couldn't find anything. It means a lot to me to read your stories. I see how each loss is precious and unique. Somehow I feel like this is a secret sorrow and cannot share it with my best friend or even my dear father. They only know about my first MC. I was so hoping for happy results this time and my husband and I were bursting to share the good news, but decided, because of the past disappointments, to wait until after the second ultrasound. And then there was no heartbeat. I agree with the women who find it hard to see other women pregnant--especially friends--and I loathe it that spring is here. I don't feel bursting with life and hope. I don't want to see little bunnies and chicks and babies in pink and yellow. I wish it was winter and that I could hibernate for a month. In memory of 8.6, 9.3 and 9.2.

  - Lisa

• April 7, 2009 9:00 p.m.

  I never knew my heart could hurt this much. Last week I was 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant when I started to bleed. The doctor didn't seem worried but had me come in for an ultrasound anyways. They told me there wasn't a heartbeat. I had the D&C scheduled for the next day, but I miscarried the baby that night at home. I never knew that I would go into labor with a miscarriage - while I know real labor must hurt more, I had vomitting and labor pains for 8 long hours. I had the D&C the next day to make sure everything was gone and protect from infection. I feel empty inside. I want to name my baby - I feel so bad that it doesn't have a name, but I don't even know if it was a boy or girl. I am scared to try again but I ache to know whether or not we can have children. I have been married to the perfect man for 6-1/2 years and I want to have children with him so badly. We are planning to try again in 4 or 5 months after my body has a chance to rest. Everyone offers such encouraging stories that they had a healthy pregnancy right after a miscarriage, but I can't help but wonder if I will be so lucky. If I can't have children I will start the adoption process. I am determined to be a mother, and offering a good life to a less fortunate child will also be rewarding. Thanks for listening and I pray for you all.

  - No name given

• March 13, 2009 12:17 a.m.

  I took an EPT in early February, and my husband & I were so excited about our 2nd baby! But on March 1st, I started spotting. The OB confirmed it March 2nd... the baby was lost. I went for the follow-up visit this past Monday (a week later), and waited nearly an hour as every pregnant woman in the county, it seemed, came & went. I finally walked out without seeing the OB. I've tried to rationalize that at least it was still early- only 8 weeks, and that we already have an absolutely beautiful little girl. But I'm really at a loss here. I'm a person who HATES to cry, but I can cry at the drop of a hat right now. And my normally sensitive husband has been incredibly insensitive this last week and a half. He was available, but didn't go with me to the OB appointment when the MC was confirmed. I wanted him, but instead the OB held my hand as I cried. My husband also made a comment about how I forget to take my vitamins and I don't stay hydrated enough, and that was probably the issue. He rarely goes to the doctors, but he had 2 visits this week, and expected to babied afterward. And all I could think of was the fact that he wasn't there when I REALLY needed him. I hope this sadness and resentment passes soon. Thank you for "listening" and for sharing. I hate that this happened to any of us, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

  - JESSICA

• March 9, 2009 1:21 p.m.

  Hi, I had a D & E almost 2 weeks ago. My husband and I were expecting our 2nd, I was 12 weeks when at my screening it was told to me that the fetus had no heartbeat and had not grown past 10 weeks. I had no symptoms other than one day I had one tiny drop of blood, that is it. It was a "missed miscarriage" I am 33 had been seeing a specialist due to a low progestrone level, it took us a year to conceive our first, and the hearbeat was confirmed a 6 weeks,and 7 and then at the 10 week OB appointment. I was told that at that point I had less than 2% chance of miscarriage but for some reason I did not believe it. The pregnancy was completely different than my first, I had almost no symptoms but I was so excited to have a sibling for our almost 2 year old. I feel broken, I went to a baby shower 2 days ago and it seems that now that spring has hit everyone in the area is pregnant now that jackets are off, even at work. I thought I should be feeling better but it is becoming all consuming because I found out about all these pregnancies around me at once and have another shower to go to. I am completely in love with my first and she is perfect but I cannot help but feel devasted. One minute I want to try again and want answers the next I am scared to try again..it hurts so much, what if I keep going through this? Why can't I get testing to the fetus to see what happened, they just won't do it unless it has been three. Thanks to all of you for sharing...

  - April

• March 5, 2009 12:03 p.m.

  On Febuary 19th, I found out that at 10weeks I had lost my baby at a regular prenatal visit. I thought all was well until ultrasound tech confirmed that there was no heart rate, not even a baby. I was told it was a blighted ovum. This baby would have been our third child. I work in Labor and Delivery and after returning to work two weeks after my D&C I have found it very hard. Not to mention one of my coworker is pregnany and due 4 weeks after my due date. My husband best friend also had his first baby on the day of my surgery. I am torn about trying again. I am so sorry to all of you who suffered a lose. It is so hard to talk about it with someone who has never lost a baby. Thanks for listening.

  - Debby

• March 4, 2009 10:23 a.m.

  On June 18, 2008, after 9 years of marriage and several years of wanting children, we finally found out we were having a baby. I have a hypothyroid, which I have heard makes it harder to get pregnant. We were so excited. Then, the next week, we lost the baby. In August, my brother in law got married and they got pregnant on their honeymoon. My original due date was Feb 21, 2009. Our nephew was born 3 months premature in Feb. I have had such conflicting emotions that I feel that I am the most thoughtless, selfish person that ever lived. I am happy for my brother in law and wife, worried for the baby boy weighing less than 2 pounds, and then the next minute wondering if anyone thought of the fact that it was my due date too. I feel awful. And, I have so many other friends who have become pregnant during this time as well. It is so hard. Our 10th anniversary is coming up and I just turned 35 on Feb 18th and can't help but wonder if I'll ever have a chance to have a child. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only that has ever gone through this and will be praying for everyone of you. Thanks for the place to vent and learn that my feelings are normal.

  - Trusting God

• March 2, 2009 7:50 a.m.

  Last thursday I would have been 12 weeks pregnant - the end of the first trimester. All was going well (so I thought) until last Sunday week when I started spotting and had brownish vaginal discharge. I went on Monday morning to the A&E of my local maternity hospital. I was scanned and told that I did not have an 11week pregnancy, more like a 5 week one. The obstetrician was extremely rude and uncompassionate - I was devastated and left the hospital with not much more information than I arrived with. My own GP explained everything to be clearly and gave a loving shoulder to cry on. I revisited the hospital today, after rescanning, there's little or no trace left of my pregnancy. I feel empty and numb. Taking some time off work is helping me get my head around things a bit. Suppose time will be a big healer! The only consolation I have is that I have a healthy 2.5 year old, whose pregnacy was textbook. That keeps me going. Good to know I'm not alone with this issue - best of luck to everyone with future pregnancies.

  - No name given

• February 26, 2009 9:50 p.m.

  i went for a normal 12week scan only to findout my baby was dead and died at 8 weeks and 3 days, everyone think's because i have 6 kids it will get better, well it wont nor will i ever forget, this baby i wasnt ment to have as i was told time and time again, as i had overian syst's, fibroid tuma's, but when i found out i was pregnant i thought bub's was a miricle, only to have my miricle taken from me, i had lost my great fun loving mother inlaw only 2 years earlier so i thought it was a sighn,it feels like the biggest kick in the gutt's you'll never ever recover from, people say you have kids or you can have another one this and that but it will never be my lost angel, who i wanted more then my life it's self,right now i feel like there is no god because if there was he wouldnt do this to people like me and he wouldnt hurt/take the life of a innocent baby, how could he do this, you dont feel like living, so right now im only taking it day by day as that is all i can do, i cant make promises or look ahead but one thing is for sure my heart will never heal or stop hurting as my baby should never have been taken from me!! http://sandrahenderson31.blogspot.com/2009/02/ill-never-understand-why-my-angel-has.html

  - sandy....

• February 26, 2009 6:21 p.m.

  It's been a couple weeks since I had my 2nd miscarriage. The first happened very early-I only knew I was pregnant for a few days before I lost it. I was sad but hopeful for next time, and just thought I should trust God and know it wasn't meant to be. When I had my second miscarriage 2 weeks ago, I had been 11 weeks along and everything had been feeling fine. I started spotting and the dr. told me to come in but didn't seem concerned about it. I had an ultrasound and it revealed an empty sac. As soon as I saw the ultrasound tech's face as he was searching for it, I knew. I felt so deceived, like I had been going along all this time and there was really no embryo anymore. I was devastated. I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother. My husband and I had told our families, so the worst part was having to tell everybody the news. Not only do I feel like I let my husband down, but everybody else as well. The dr. tells me there is no need to do any tests and I am young (28) and have "plenty of time." It doesn't feel that way to me. I'm trying not to worry but it's difficult. I'm trying to keep positive thoughts of others who've had miscarriages and then had children. Thanks for listening and for sharing your stories. It helps to know I'm not alone.

  - No name given

• February 24, 2009 1:30 p.m.

  The past few days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I took a home preg test on Wed 2/18 that was +, then took a blood test Thurs 2/19. They wanted to test me again tomorrow 2/25 because the numbers weren't what they needed to be. Despite this, I knew I was pregnant and started planning for this baby. I had some spotting but figured this was normal since it was early in the pregnancy. Sat 2/21 I started bleeding and Sun 2/22 I was passing clots. This was the hardest time for me because I knew that I was losing my child. I had this confirmed at the ER yesterday morn. This is just so hard on my husband and I because we were ready to start our family together even though we have a child each from previous marriages. I am just trying to rest and become mentally stronger so that we can try again. I just wanted to vent here with others who have lost a child to help me get over this depression. God is good and I have faith that we will be blessed in time. Thanks for "listening".

  - Lost

• February 22, 2009 2:49 a.m.

  February 28th my babies would a year. I have 2 sisters that got pregnant right after my miscarriage, and now I am going to be the boss of my ex-boyfriend who is expecting his baby soon. It hurts so much because he was going to be the father of my twins. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them. Reading these articles helped me for my upcoming date. Hopefully this will give me the courage and strength to try again with my boyfriend now who has been there for me.

  - No name given

• February 20, 2009 5:49 p.m.

  This would have been my 4th grandchild.. My daughter lost one last year and now found out today that she has what is called a molar pregnancy. She will have to under go a D&C next week. There are all they why me? I have no answers for her. She has a 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I just wish I could give her the answers to they WHYS. GOd bless all of you on this site. I was just checking out the Molar Pregnancy and found this site. Thank You and God Bless

  - Nana

• February 18, 2009 10:47 a.m.

  Today I lost my third child. At this point I am not sure how to feel. Of course I am sad. As with every pregnancy I had a life planned for this child. I had a nursery picked out. I had started to consider changes to finances, vehicles, and employment. Now none of that really matters. I had dreamed of holding that child in my arms for the first time, sharing her first birthday with our family. I suppose that after two miscarriages I should have proceeded cautiously into pregnancy. Perhaps I should have withheld emotionally. I am not sure. I am sure that there will be further medical investigation into why this keeps happening. I am hopeful that they will find an answer. Perhaps we will find some comfort in the answer. Now we just have to deside wether or not to try again. I have adhesions, cysts, and fibroids. I have had several procedures. I am just not too sure if it is time to call 'er quits. Do I give up on my dream of having a family or do I proceed with more testing and risk more heartache?

  - Cinderella

• February 3, 2009 7:15 p.m.

  I had 2 early preganancy losses when we were married for 3 yrs. I had just tested positive and several days later started bleeding. We listened to advice from family and decided not to "try" anymore. We had 3 "surprise" children in the next 4 years. ( I turned up pregnant that next month after the two early pregnancy losses) That first pregnancy I had bleeding and cramping and preterm labor for which I was put in hospital and then at home on rest until she came at term healthy and well in the end. The next two I had cramping and such but kept the pregnancies. Over the following four more years I had two more planned pregnancies with only the cramping throughout the pregnancy. I was 38 with the last baby. In February 2005 I miscarried at 12 weeks, the heart had stopped beating. I was so devastated even though I had 5 healthy children. It did not change the pain of losing a child. I had to fight hard to try to avoid going into depression. I had a some post-partum depression with last 2 babies. After I had a D & C for hemorrhaging at home, I rested for a week and then I tried to look for ways to reach out to others. I did this because our own pain is eased when we can do something for another even in our pain. It was very hard and I did not feel like it at all. I sent cards to others on prayer list. I have now lost another in March 2006 at 10 weeks and right now am 7 weeks and noticed 5 days ago sx were less. I am 45, was surprise.Expect ba

  - Disappointed but God is sovereign and in control

• January 31, 2009 6:46 a.m.

  I had conceived for the first time in my 8 yrs marriage. I was so happy and dreamt so many things that I'll do this and that for my baby. But on Sunday(25th Jan) I saw some brown spot.. went directly to my doc and she said I was misscarrying.. Still i had some hope and I took complete bed rest but on Wednusday, the fresh and heavy bleeding started and doc suggested to have D&C. I lost her yesterday. All my hopes are lost with the loss of my baby.. i feel so guilty that may be i did something wrong.. and am feeling like hell.. i was searching for what might have gone wrong and found this link.. now i feel i'm not alone and we all are going through the same pain.

  - Neelu